Potential/Probable Goodbye
I don't know if this decision is due to exam stress or if these are legitimate thoughts but I'm going on a temporary or possible permanent hiatus on this blog. --------- This is mainly due to the fact that I draw art for fun and really see no point in posting it around online if I gain zilch back - art supplies cost, no this isn't just about how no one commissions me or how no one (except my bf) buys t-shirts with my art on them. It's the notes, it's one or two likes per picture, the feeling of defeat when I post something I have spent time and effort on and getting no reward. Heck, I have over 100 followers but nothing to show for it. On the rare occasion a post will exceed 10 notes and I'll be happy for the day - into the high 10s or 100s and it gives me such a fucking ego boost that I offer requests/art trades/colabs/commissions and I get jackshit in return. And some people have the nerve to ask me why I chose zoology over art. It's because I can have confidence that I can do well in zoology. Art? No. The market is unpredictable and unreliable. Doesn't matter if you can draw anything or everything (like I boast I can) if you've got no popularity you're fucked. So with this. I admit I am fucked. I'm too polite to ask for followers, for notes, for exposure. I don't know if my art makes anyone happy - that's all I want to do, make art I like to please others (if I make money from it then it's even better but it's not my intention) --- This really isn't something I want to bring up but, my self esteem is really shattering from this, my sleeping has become erratic and poor, I find it hard to face drawing pads or my tablet and my eating has been affected. This is why I'm hiatus-ing. It will become permanent if matters don't improve after exams. Tl;dr? - I'm leaving tumblr because 1. Exam stress. 2. It is pointless for me to give out art for zilch in return, whether it's the ego boost from notes or money, either way I get nothing. So, I suppose this could be a final logout from me; Goodbye. ~ xoxo Flair.