Welcome to the Island of Misfit Toys

19, NY, let's fuck shit up together.

[floating-through-cosmos]

I gave a guy a handjob at the study area of the campus library yesterday. It was nice.

[floating-through-cosmos]

women's shampoos be like: coconut; honey/milk; rose; tropical fruits; aloe vera

men's shampoos be like: ARCTIC ICE; DARKNESS; GUNS; TESTOSTERONE; PAIN

[dadhopper-deactivated20171203]

Yum….Yum..in my tum…

[francisfordfiesta-deactivated20]

“we almost dated” is such a weird relationship to have with someone

[whomst-the-fck-asked]

Plus the sequel “we never got closure”

And then the side adaptation “as a result I have a weird crush that never died”

[culturistjack-deactivated201804]

I'd very much like to punch a feminist.

I’d never, ever hurt a lady but I’d be happy to punch a feminist. It’d bring me great joy.

[olisaurusrex]

I’m 6’2 and weigh 180lbs

ready when you are

[thattallsummonerguy]

Or if you’d like to have some more options….

I’m 6’4” 228 pounds and have 9 years of combined martial arts training and 3 years of being a Line Backer in football. Just in case you are looking for variety.

[wontbeafraid-deactivated2014041]

what about a lady and a feminist. warning, combatives certified soldier.

[nevergenders]

im tiny, i’m like 5′4 and 130 lbs but u can fight me too

[scumbagsblog]

Reblogging for the last one cuz that’s adorable

[likeits1995]

SO PROUD

[ghost--ranger]

The Fantastic 4 we deserve

[crimezi]

OMG IVE ONLY SEEN THIS POST IN SCREEN SHOTS

[stars-for-thought]

We will all protect the small one.

[jon-arbuckle-murdered-lyman]

Reminder that Jon Arbuckle murdered Lyman in cold blood as a means to obtain Odie for his own cruel purposes

[genderflux-moved-deactivated201]

Not saying he wouldnt do this but SOURCE?????

[raeloganthesonic06fangirl]

Oh, boy, this is a fun bit of trivia.

See this book? This was published in 1998. I got it when I was 8 from my school bus driver for being really helpful on the route map for her first day, so this book has been in my possession for 19+ years. It’s very battered, but all the pages are still there, taped together, because the binding glue didn’t react well to the environment I lived in at the time.

Page 32 has a special “Bonus” spot for Lyman, with “updated” (for 1998) profile art

Closer look at the page

JON, WHAT DID YOU DO?

[raeloganthesonic06fangirl]

Oh, and also, if you know your Garfield Lore, then Lyman was Jon’s roommate until 1983, then left for an unknown reason, leaving Odie behind. He did appear in a Logo Box for Garfield’s 10th Birthday strip in 1988, as a cameo, but for the most part, Lyman has been absent for so long, they have continually rewritten how exactly Jon obtained Odie, ranging from adopting him from the same shop as Garfield, to adopting Odie a couple years into owning Garfield.

Except for

The popular 90s Garfield flash game, “Garfield’s Spooky Scavenger Hunt”, in which you can find Lyman chained up in a basement as a hidden eastern egg. He begs Garfield to give him some muffins to eat, then disappears after you leave the room and come back.

Garfield Lore is pretty messed up when you dig around.

[mousathe14]

….. what the hell

[saddest-cat-hours]

[blairvvitchproject]

put this in the fucking moma, the louvre, the guggenheim, the whitney, and the motherfucking prado

[bonnieventure]

one time a stranger on neopets years ago told me “school makes you think you have to be good at everything but sometimes it’s ok to just be good at one thing. even if it’s not something you get a grade for. they don’t grade you for being a good person” and tbh i still think about it little did i know all i needed this whole time was in glowing purple text and that icon of the goth fairy

[mitten]

[iwilleatyourenglish]

my leopard gecko hasn’t eaten for over a week so i took him to the vet. vet said he’s extremely healthy and the reason he’s not eating is likely due to him entering breeding season early

i paid $97 to learn that my gecko won’t eat because he’s too fucking horny do anything

[iwilleatyourenglish]

can you imagine someone handing you a burger and you being like “i can’t eat this i’m too fucking horny"

[snotferret]

uh, if you’re a bottom - you can imagine

[protocol00]

anime girl: *breathes*

her tiddies: 

[velen-z-the-lucario]

mostly untrue *yes I am going to be that guy*

[protocol00]

My dude.

[david-lynch-ate-my-son]

some more anime boob physics for you: 

i had to do some uncomfortable google image searches for these!

[lntelligent]

“Not All Men” you’re right. Kevin Spacey would never do this

[crazyclowntime]

As it turns out, Kevin Spacey would in fact do this

[horsecrash]

This fuckin aged like milk

[felderwin]

My favorite thing to do when someone asks me to perform a simple task is to say “No” while doing it

[lord-kitschener]

Just…imagine this dude sitting alone in a dark room, with Confederate and swastika flags on the walls, bathed in the light from his computer monitor, wearing a maga hat, and silently, solemnly listening to Bob Marley and pretending it’s about white ppl

[aplpaca]

kinda funny when english teachers say stuff like “i can tell if you didnt read the book” or “i can tell when people bs their paper”

no you cant.  you can tell when people are bad at bs-ing their paper.  i didnt even read the sparknotes and i barely skimmed the wikipedia and you gave me an A.  you kneel before my throne unaware that it was born of lies

[lizardsister]

when i was a young boy *tips fedora* m'father

[knfwinthemorning-deactivated202]

THINGS TO INCLUDE IN A COLLEGE APPLICATION

high school musical quotes

the number 5

a 3 page samsung galaxy s2 skyrocket review

your fastest lap time in mario kart ds

,

the receipt to a hairdryer

big bird