it’s funny cuz it’s true
🩵 avery cochrane 🩵
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"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
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tannertan36
trying on a metaphor

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we're not kids anymore.

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Noah Kahan
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@flocc
it’s funny cuz it’s true
I honestly think Gen-Z and younger simply does not understand how recent widespread smartphone adoption is.
I am not that old, and I didn't have a smartphone until probably late high school. For most of my life, many if not most people were not walking around with a magic internet machine in their pocket that they pulled out and used constantly for everything.
reblog if you remember having to ration your text messages and accidentally opening the internet on your phone was the end of the world
How old were you when you got your first smartphone?
Younger than 10
10-13
13-16
17-20
21-25
26-30
31-40
41-50
51-60
Older than 60
Never had a smartphone
During a high speed car chase pursuit, the FOX 11 Los Angeles helicopter had an unexpected moment when they spotted a rooster and a chicken casually walking down the sidewalk right in the middle of the pursuit.
The fact that they were walking 1-3mph
His joy and whimsy at seeing this
His acknowledgement of it not being as interesting as the chase
His little "huh" cuz you know they told him to focus
printers behave like that because the medieval monks they put out of work are haunting them
Really good looking broken laptop screen I saw at the store
Some more because I really liked it
Porcupine-Fish Helmet from Kiribati, c.1800-1880 CE: this helmet was crafted from the carcass of a porcupine-fish
This helmet was made using the skin of a porcupine-fish that was killed and then carefully dried. The front edge is lined with vegetable fiber and human hair, and it's equipped with coconut-fiber ties that were used to fasten the helmet onto the wearer's head.
Above: another porcupine-fish helmet from Kiribati
Helmets with this design are also known as te barantauti, and they were created as part of a traditional costume that was worn by the warriors of Kiribati (an island nation located in the South Pacific). Most of the surviving examples date back to the mid-1800s.
Above: a porcupine-fish helmet displayed with a high-backed cuirass, wrist-guard, and spear, c.1800s CE
Te barantauti were typically worn with body armor that was crafted from coconut-fiber and stingray skin, along with braided wrist-guards covered in shark's teeth, high-backed cuirasses, and wooden swords, spears, and daggers studded with stingray spines and shark's teeth.
Above: wrist-guards and cuirasses from Kiribati, c.1800-1880 CE
In some cases, the warrior's helmet was crafted from coconut-fiber instead. The same material was also used to construct sleeves, belts, and "overalls" that effectively covered the rest of the body.
Above: a coconut-fiber helmet with a full set of armor
The porcupine-fish helmets provided very little protection -- they were primarily created and used as a way to intimidate enemies during ritual combat.
As this article explains:
The men of Kiribati were famed for their fierceness, and when it came time for battle, they dressed the part, in head-to-toe armor made from coconut fiber and stingray skin. Their weapons were wooden swords lined with sharks’ teeth.
The crown jewel of Kiribati armor, though, was a spiky helmet made from the porcupinefish. A member of the blowfish family, a porcupinefish looks like an adorable big-eyed cartoon character—until it’s threatened. Then, it sucks water into a cavity between its body and skin and inflates to several times its normal size, stiffening the spines that usually lie flat.
Porcupinefish helmets, known as te barantauti, were made by capturing one of these agitated, puffed-up porcupinefish, killing it, peeling the skin away from the body, and drying it. The spiny skin that remained was reinforced with coconut-fiber padding and fashioned into a brittle helmet.
Though the helmets offered little in the way of actual protection, they instantly made their wearers appear bigger, taller, and more formidable.
For Kiribati warriors, this intimidation was more important than protection from death. That’s because in traditional Kiribati culture, a person who took someone’s life—even in a fair fight—paid with their most prized resource: their land. So instead of going for the kill, warriors sought to wound and humiliate their enemy. Fish-skin and coconut-fiber offered just the right amount of protection.
Above: a shark-tooth spear from Kiribati, c.1800s CE
Unfortunately, most of the surviving helmets, weapons, and pieces of armor are now housed in Western museums:
Over the years, dozens of these helmets made their way into museums across the globe, while few remain in Kiribati. The Smithsonian actually has three, the British Museum five, and Sweden’s Världskulturmuseerna “at least eight,” according to their digitization curator Magnus Johansson. One te barantauti even wound up at the Fairbanks Museum and Planetarium, in the tiny town of St. Johnsbury, Vermont.
Over the last four decades, since Kiribati gained its independence from the United Kingdom in 1979, the armor has taken on a new meaning—as a potent symbol of local culture. It features on tourist trinkets, but also stamps and school mascots. “The armor is not just a garment to me,” says Rareti Ataniberu, an I-Kiribati craftswoman. “It is a piece of art, a craft.”
Above: an armored warrior from Kiribati, mid-1800s
Sources & More Info:
Hakai Magazine: Kiribati’s Porcupine-Fish Helmets were More about Drama than Defense
Atlas Obscura: The Mystery of the Puffer-Fish Helmets of Kiribati
Pacific Presences: Fighting Fibres: Kiribati Armour and Museum Collections
Time Magazine: Why Indigenous Artifacts Should be Returned to Indigenous Communities
The Museum of New Zealand: Te tauti from Kiribati
The Museum of New Zealand: Rere (Knife or Short Sword) from Kiribati
The British Museum: Porcupine-Fish Helmet
is he rocking with the orthodox ita bag
“my father is a boy and my mother is a girl so i’m mixed” is the funniest possible response to someone asking your gender and it came from 6’5 Viking footballer and notable weird little guy Erling Haaland on a Snapchat
comedians can only dream of writing something this funny
👽 visitor from another planet
that's a cat ✅️
I'm not sure anymore ... this is really scary ...
what’s sad is that the first person to fry an ant with a magnifying glass was probably just trying to look
Lev Tokmakov (1928-2010)
This is what I would do if I was Count Binface and I actually won:
Resign from office on the grounds that I only ran for the bants, triggering a further by-election
Immediately announce my candidacy for the by-election.
game sells poorly -> layoffs
game sells well -> also layoffs
the only thing the video game industry hates more than piracy is making video games
about to lie to the government by using my google generated SSN
Pulitzer Prize type shit
Why's this dude built like crash bandicoot
Everything about this damn post is so funny to me. The lighting of the arm from the flash. The posing of the arm like a dramatic death from a novella. The fact the photo somehow got taken still and looks this good. The subreddit name. The fact this guy really is built like crash bandicoot
I’m paying to force seven thousand strangers to see a photo of my late husband having fun with his dog. Tumblr Blaze is totally worth it. XD
Thank-you to all of my new Internet stranger friends for being so gracious about having my post shoved onto your dashboards. I loved reading all of your kind tags and comments! Both Martin and Bosco have been gone for several years now but for 24 hours, they felt very present in my life. I greatly appreciate this gift. ❤️
Reblog to have your dashboard be visited by the spirit of joy that death can end but not erase.
Thank you to everyone who commented in their tags or messaged me. Indeed, today is “Martin and Bosco Day”. I originally whimsically blazed this photo on 13 July 2022. I never expected Martin and Bosco to travel so far and make so many new friends. The experience has been such a gift for me.
It’s now July 13, 2026: HAPPY MARTIN AND BOSCO DAY!
hair silky like tofu
ass firm like another kind of tofu
#Tits moderate firm yet jiggly like a third kind of tofu