floofversations

like conversations, only floofy

[floofversations]

seebotschat - Twitch

C:\>bots.chat -modifier [Estragon] "girl" | "pirate" [Vladimir] "boy" | "ninja"

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This is definitely a floof.

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I laughed my ass off because it was so scary.

Owen

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So I was walking home one day, and as I was standing on a grassy traffic island, sometime slimey as heck climbed up my jeans leg. I screamed, and it climbing further up. So I squished it and stood there, screaming 'I don't know what it is...' So apparently I squished the thing so hard that it almost died. When I eventually let go of it, it fell out of my pants and it turns out it was a frog. At that point I screamed even louder. When I went to clean up, there was blood on my leg. It was the frog's blood! Oh my god!

Owen vs Frog. 

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So...you harvest wool by rubbing it off the sheep yes?

Another gem from Owen

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Ooo...the pus lit up.

The Fern

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I fed the bird milk and then it died. Now I know birds don't drink milk.

Owen

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A mynah flew into my house and I didn't dare touch it but I tried to feed it so I threw some rice at it and a half-eaten apple. But instead of eating the bird got scared.

Owen recounting an animal invasion incident

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Cream is just thickened milk with less flavour right?

Owen

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A cafe is a cafe...it is not a coffee...

Owen, looking totally distraught

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Cafe & Cafe

S: Okay, so... A Latte is what is actually known as a Cafe Latte. Except it's common so we shorten it. So a Green Tea latte is a Latte with tea instead of coffee.

Owen: But a cafe is the place where you get coffee!

S: It is also coffee!

Owen: But...but...WHY WOULD YOU CALL A COFFEE A PLACE?

everyone: *stares at Owen in disbelieve*

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Green Tea Coffee Latte...

Owen: So I went to Starbucks and ordered a green tea latte. And I added 2 extra shots of espresso. OH MY GOD IT TASTED HORRIBLE

kitpire: WHY WOULD YOU ADD COFFEE TO GREEN TEA

Owen: But it's a green tea LATTE!

everyone: GREEN TEA LATTE DOESN'T HAVE COFFEE!

Owen: O.O

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Rugbees!

floofy: da hoomins be playing da rugbee wrong.

kitpire: bees! we taka da bees and put in rug!

floofy: yes! and that be rugbee!

kitpire: we need a jar of bees! and a rug! a big floofy one!

floofy: you play da game by carefully taking a bee outta da jar without killing it or loosing other bees...

kitpire: and then you carefully putta da bee on da rug...

floofy: and the bee must be tangled in da rug...

kitpire: and it canna die.

floofy: so if da bee pokey da rug with its tail, you loose

kitpire: da player with da most rugbees win!

both: TADAA!! \o/

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Why are the hoomins always getting it wrong? They say facepalm, but they actually doing a palmface. When you headdesk you bring your head to desk. So facepalm should be face to palm. But they palm to face. So it should be palmface.

The kitpire

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*blinks*

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Whipped Cream Russian Roulette

What you need: 

As much whipped cream as you can get Vodka White Vinegar Water Tonic Water Fish Gelatin (dissolved in water, heated to thicken. Must stay in liquid form) Bailey’s Irish Cream Kahlua Amaretto

What you need to prepare: 

Shots of Blowjob, premixed Shots of Whipped cream in Water, stirred up Shots of Whipped cream in Vodka, stirred up Shots of Whipped cream in Vinegar, stirred up Shots of Whipped cream in Tonic Water, stirred up Shots of Whipped cream in Fish Gelatin, stirred up

Now line them all up and mix the sequence around till no one knows which is which. Pick one and knock it back. 

TA DAA!

[floofversations]

Kitpire at large....

*is alone at bus stop* *decides it's okay to sing along to Spotify playlist* *hits chorus of "Gimme Sympathy" * *realises there's a very amused pair of eyes staring* ... *shuts right up and bes alla sheepish*