collateral damage
Character(s): Reigen Arataka, Serizawa Katsuya
Characters mentioned: Kageyama Shigeo, Kageyama family, Takane Tsubomi, Hanazawa Teruki
Notes: Spoilers for the recent chapter (99.4) and mentions of other major arcs in the manga. Special thanks to my friend Eliot for being the beta reader to my fic!
“It’s my fault, isn’t it?”
The echo of brisk strides gliding along linoleum flooring barely nicked the worries crowding and scrambling about in the interior of Reigen’s mind as he sat stone-faced amid a line of empty chairs, chairs that seemed to await the restless souls of the living to gravitate toward their secure embrace. They flanked the long and narrow halls of the hospital in an almost human eagerness, as if expecting to bare the weight of grief and fear from weak-minded people at a moment’s notice.
The coffee placed in the vacant seat beside him had long since lost its warmth. In spite of his best efforts to drink the coffee he’d so humbly accepted to control the tremors taking hold of his hands, Reigen had failed to give the styrofoam cup so much as a single glance the second he’d placed it to the side. The minutes continued to tick by, but by the time memory of his coffee left on standby tantalized his tongue he realized with an air of disappointment that he’d left it untouched for far too long, and that the heavenly-scented stream of steam once dancing merrily to the ceiling above from within the cup’s sealed confinements was now but a distant memory.
Not that he’d have the stomach for it anyways.
A rather inappropriate amount of thudding against the floor drew Reigen’s attention upward. He’d nearly forgotten that Serizawa had tagged along with him until the air around him tingled with an odd sensation and the towering, wide figure of his slightly hunched coworker came into view.
He’d nearly forgotten Serizawa wasn’t highly acquainted with larger bulks of people yet either.
“Sorry to keep you waiting, Reigen-san.”
The sound of crinkling alerted Reigen to the bags of chips gripped in Serizawa’s hands.
Reigen forced a smile, a smile not so unlike the one he used to fool people into believing his questionable business practice.
“It’s fine, really,” Reigen replied. “Wasn’t planning on going anywhere anyways.”
Reigen snapped a finger in the direction of the chips. “What kind did they have?”
As if having forgotten himself, Serizawa fumbled for the bags and settled when his gaze found the flavors of each, his shoulders sagging almost dejectedly. “Uh… sorry. They didn’t really have much except potato and shrimp. I wasn’t sure which one you liked, so I… kind of guessed.”
Neither option sounded particularly appetizing at the moment. Nevertheless, Reigen said, “Okay. Which bag do you want?”
“Oh!” Surprise flashed in Serizawa’s eyes. “Well, I don’t really have a favorite out of the two, so whatever’s fine by me. What about you?”
“Doesn’t really matter. I can settle for either.”
That didn’t seem to subdue Serizawa’s hesitance in the slightest.
Heavily, Reigen sighed. “Okay, okay. Guess I’ll pick first.”
Reigen hovered his hand close to the shrimp bag, watching closely from his sitting position as Serizawa’s face shifted visibly upon seeing his employer’s intended path. Feigning a contemplative hum, Reigen moved his hand toward the potato chips. Serizawa’s features relaxed.
Deciding to put an end to the (amusing) shirade, Reigen dragged the potato chips free from Serizawa’s hands before leaning back against the hospital chair. He proceeded to rip them open, leaving them exposed to the clean air swirling about.
Serizawa took up the empty seat next to him and proceeded to tear open his own bag with haste, digging into the strange-smelling contents as if he hadn’t eaten in weeks.
After what seemed like a year’s worth of silence, Serizawa stole a glimpse of Reigen’s untouched chips and the far off look in his employer’s eyes before swallowing down the remnants of shrimp-flavored chips scratching his tongue, clearing away stray crumbs from the corners of his lips with the back of his hand.
Leaning forward ever so slightly, Serizawa peered curiously at his employer and asked, “Is everything okay, Reigen-san?”
The mere question was enough to break down the wall of defenses Reigen had tried so hard to keep up, though he refused to admit to it as he gave a half-hearted chuckle and raced fingers through his bangs.
“I don’t know. Is everything okay, Serizawa? Is it? Because it sure as hell doesn’t seem that way.”
Thoughts of stumbling down the bustling streets with Serizawa in tow filled his mind. The thundering stride of their steps colliding and pounding and mercilessly stampeding across hard, gravel-covered cement in unison deafened his ears. It took every ounce of energy he had left in him from the laborious run not to recall the sights of buildings and cars and people whirling past him in a blur, the sounds of vehicles roaring down the street and people speaking amongst themselves or shouting above the noise, the taste of bitterly cold air against his tongue, the feeling of the early spring wind whipping across his face as sweat trickled down in a torrential downpour over his skin, as he sank further and further into the hole that should have dented his chair from the weight of it all.
He couldn’t believe what was happening until Mob’s contact lit up his phone, and the voice of someone he’d known only in passing answered instead of the quiet, monotone voice of the boy he’d known for what felt like ages.
“Kageyama-kun’s in trouble! He’s just been hit by a car!”
“It’s my fault, isn’t it?” Reigen didn’t wait to hear Serizawa’s answer. “None of this would have happened if I’d just...“
When Reigen and Serizawa arrived, the Kageyamas had long since gone back to see their son before the doctor pulled them aside to fill them in on what had happened. A generic-looking girl came rushing in not too long after, asking to see Mob as soon as possible --could this have been the girl Mob was talking about?-- and with permission granted by the family, she managed to see her way through to the room without complication.
Reigen and Serizawa, on the other hand, were neither immediate family nor familiar to the Kageyamas enough to grant them access to Mob’s room. And so, with much reluctance and frustrated grumbling slithering between clenched teeth, Reigen decided to sit back and wait for the doctor to make an appearance, pulling Serizawa along for the ride, lest he be stuck by himself with no company to keep his anxiety at bay.
Only, the doctor hadn’t made a comeback for quite some time, and deep in the back of his mind Reigen began fearing the worst.
It was enough to drive him mad.
Reigen bit down on the inside of his cheek until the taste of copper coated his tongue. “What kind of dumbass hits a kid crossing the street...? What kind of dumbass gives the worst advice to a kid and lets him leave with just that?” He snorted, disgruntled, and dug dulled nails into the cuffs of his shirt. “I should have done something. Why the fuck didn’t I do anything?!”
“Reigen-san,” Serizawa said, holding Reigen’s arms tight as he tried to meet his gaze, “It isn’t your fault… You- you couldn’t have known what would happen. Nobody could!”
Reigen closed his eyes tight and turned away, blatantly refusing to look Serizawa in the face, refusing to succumb to the fact that he felt vulnerable and defenseless and completely and utterly useless in a situation he’d never asked to be part of.
“That’s easier to say when you haven’t known the kid as long as I have,” Reigen spat under his breath, feeling his every word stab into the pit of his stomach as he spoke. “You don’t know how many times I’ve let him down, how many times I’ve lied to him, how many times he’s still had confidence in me despite everything…
“You have no idea what kind of shit I’ve put him through, and how much of that shit he never deserved to deal with on his own when I’m the one who’s supposed to be the adult!”
For a moment, silence choked the halls surrounding them. A few stray passersby stared in puzzlement before quickly skittering away to allow them some privacy. Serizawa’s hands remained firmly placed around Reigen’s arms, only now they seemed to squeeze tighter as a sort of hard rigidness surfaced from the man lowering to kneel in front of him.
The tightness forced Reigen’s eyes to snap open, but before he could protest Serizawa started speaking, low and stern.
“You’re right. I don’t know what the two of you have gone through together. I don’t know the kinds of things you two have gone through on the job and after. I don’t know any of what happened before I came to work for you, but I do know one thing--
“-- it’s not your fault what happened to him today, and it’s never been your fault.”
“But--”
“You might be an adult compared to him, but you still think and act like a child! You made some mistakes, you did things you shouldn’t have done, you said some things you probably still regret, but that doesn’t make you a bad person.
“If there’s anything you’ve taught me so far, it’s that anyone can change if they really try! It’s not too late to be the kind of person you want to be! And if you think you’re still to blame for all this, then I might as well be to blame for it too, because I was there with you when he talked to us about the girl he liked and I told him he should go after her.”
“But…” Reigen had long since tuned out his brain to listen to his employee’s tirade, but never did he expect to hear something he might say to Mob from someone like Serizawa, especially not two days in a row. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”
“Then why do you think you did?”
If Reigen could open his mouth, if he could think of anything to say back, he was sure that no words would leave his lips.
Had the doctor not suddenly appeared from behind closed doors, Reigen would have sat there in shock for eternity, gawking at Serizawa as if his coworker had sprouted a second head.
In an instant, Reigen motioned to the doctor making his way through the hall and shot to his feet, Serizawa following suit. Racing down the hallway unison, Reigen called out, “E- excuse me! Oi, you’re Mo-- Shigeo’s doctor, right? Kageyama Shigeo?”
The doctor came to an immediate halt, swiveling around on the heel of his shoe. His eyebrows furrowed, suspicious. Though he didn’t appear an unkindly man by any regard, Reigen still felt the air around them go tense upon catching sight of the doctor’s serious gaze.
“Yes?” the doctor replied. “Are you friends of Kageyama-san by any chance? Relatives?”
“Uh, well, we’re more… business acquaintances than anything,” Reigen hesitated, after a moment’s thought. “We came as soon as we heard about… what happened. I just want to make sure he’s okay.”
After a quick once over of either of their persons, the doctor smiled politely. “I’m afraid we’re still trying to figure that out ourselves. But, from the looks of it, he should be fine. He’s asleep right now, but we’re keeping an eye on him in case he wakes up so we can run further tests.”
“He’s… going to be fine?”
“Reigen-san?”
Silence.
“Alright then. Thanks for letting us know. We’ll be on our way.”
“Reigen-san?!”
“Then, if you’ll excuse me…” With that, the doctor vanished from sight, swallowed whole by a group of newcomers speed-walking frantically down the hall.
“Reigen-san? Are you okay?”
It had been an hour since they left the hospital, though Reigen hadn’t spoken since. It was enough to leave Serizawa feeling worried, all things considered; it wasn’t everyday Reigen wasn’t wildly flapping his hands around and prattling on about everything and nothing all at once.
A moment of silence.
Nothing.
He tried again. “Reigen-san--”
“You know, I think you’re hanging around me a little bit too much.”
“E-eh?” What’s that supposed to mean…?
Reigen stopped dead in his tracks, and without missing a beat threw an index finger in Serizawa’s line of sight, nearly jamming it straight up his nose if he hadn’t been startled to an immediate halt. “Reigen--”
“AH-TUT-TUT-TUT! LISTEN! Didn’t you hear it?!”
“Uh, h- hear what...?”
“THAT! You did it again!”
“EH?!”
“We seriously need to consider getting you some time off, Serizawa. You’re starting to sound like me by the day. Do you know how creepy that is?! In this world, there’s only to be one greatest psychic! The universe can’t possibly handle two of me!”
“What are you talking about?!” Serizawa nearly yelled, incredulously.
“OI! IT’S GETTING WORSE ALREADY! We’ve gotta do something about this, fast!”
If Serizawa wasn’t practically melting from the sweat pouring down his face and pooling underneath his armpits, he would have stammered out another quick remark before the inevitability of his cries would arise, never being truly heard. Swallowing thick, hard lumps of panic down his throat, Serizawa tightened his fists at his sides--
--and let out a cry at the hand that slammed good-naturedly against his back.
“I’m just kidding!” Reigen exclaimed, his body shaking from head to toe with unbridled laughter. “Well, kind of… Geez, you’ve really got to lighten up!”
Serizawa blinked rapidly, trying his hardest to process the events that had taken place, but failing to play catch up with everything that had happened. “...Then, why are you--”
“What? Can’t a boss thank his employee for going above and beyond to do something, even though he had about as much context to go on as his boss?”
“I’m not sure I follow, Reigen-san.”
Laughter gradually subsiding, Reigen released a puff of air before turning away, rubbing the back of his head in a rapidfire, awkward motion. “Geez, I really gotta be more straightforward with you and Mob, don’t I?” Reigen said, though judging by his tone Serizawa could tell he meant no real harm in the question. “I just-- I wanted to say thanks. For everything back there in the waiting room. You didn’t have to come with me, you didn’t have to say anything to assure me that it wasn’t my fault, but you did, and I guess I appreciate that.”
Serizawa suppressed a smile as Reigen continued their stroll back to the office, the sun hovering just over the horizon as the sky became doused in various hues of reds and oranges.
“So, about that, ‘kind of kidding’--”
“Oi, don’t make me change my mind about giving you a few days off!”
