You Are Never Alone - Part Five
A/N: lol, i forgot to post this but I thought I did and was so confused on how no one was seeing it. i fully thought I bombed and went into writer hell- but no, here it is <3
Read on Ao3 -> https://archiveofourown.org/works/83254351/chapters/222925491
Missed a Part? Part One , Part Two , Part Three , Part Four , Part Five
Thrashing was the first thing he was aware of as he rounded the corner. The sound of something beating against a table, struggling like a prey animal trapped in a cage. He began to hear the distinct sounds of.. English?
"GET THE FUCK OFF OF ME- LET ME GO-"
Okay. He'd doubted that it was a human but that was an English voice and English words. Very angry English but English nonetheless.
"Incorrect. What is 2+2?"
Oh shoot, Armando. That was not what you wanted, waking up scared and confused and angry in a place you didn't know. Grace skidded his way into the medical room, eyes widening as the scene unfolded.
The person they'd rescued was thrashing on the table, looking like he might rip his remaining arm off in order to get free. Restraints were blocking him from doing so, tied around each ankle and his wrists. Not good. Very not good.
"FUCK YOU- YOU CAN'T KEEP ME HERE- FUCK YOU-" The figure screamed, spit flying from his mouth, the peaceful sleeping face from before gone, transposed with the snarling, aggressive one before Grace now.
"Incorrect. What is-"
"Four!" Grace called out, breathless, holding his hands up in surrender. "Armando, it's four, you can back down now, thank you-"
The shouting on the bed became silent momentarily. The eyes darted over to stare at him. His eyes held so many emotions, it took Grace a long second to decipher all of them. First and foremost, rage, violent and lashing. Underneath that, fear and confusion, driving the rage to its destructive conclusion.
"You can stick me in as many fucking hallucinations as you want, I'm not letting you have it!" The figured yelled out between breaths, heaving in as much air as he could to bellow out his next barbed word.
He writhed again, pulling at the restraint around his wrist and, for a horrifying moment, Grace thought he might break through. Whilst he hated the idea of restraining him, he didn't want him running around the ship and hurting Rocky. And, a little selfishly, he was quite terrifying right now.
"I know what you're doing-" The figure spat, staring directly at Grace with those wild eyes, "And I'm not letting you in, so FUCK OFF-!"
Grace continued holding his hands up, trying to speak in the most soothing tone he could muster. "I don't know where you think you are but I promise you're okay, you're on the Hail Mary, my name is Grace, I'm-"
The figure let out a hoarse, manic laugh. "Oh fuck off. That one's the worst you've done. The fucking Hail Mary? Full of fucking Grace?"
"Aggression detected, sedation advised." Armando suddenly spoke up, reaching forwards to the man on the table. Grace leapt forwards, stopping the robot in it's tracks.
"Nope, no, no, we're good- Just uh- No sedation, Armando, please?"
The figure was staring at him still, before attempting to break himself out of the bindings again, back arching with the strain he put into it. Thank god for the fact that they stayed intact. Grace didn't doubt that this guy could kill him if he wanted. Those wild eyes didn't stop glaring at him, even as he thrashed, looking like he was considering the best way to dismember him.
Then, suddenly, the thrashing stopped, replaced by a deep choking as the figure's chest spasmed, coughing sporadically. Blood splattered out, staining his face. Grace winced at how harsh the sound was, especially as the figure groaned when he was seemingly finished. It sounded painful.
Grabbing a wet cloth, Grace came a little closer, arms still raising in surrender, "Hey, I'm just gonna wipe that off, okay?"
As he reached closer with the cloth, he became very aware of the figure staring him down, even with his eyes half lidded with exhaustion but still determined to terrify him on approach. Grace pushed forwards, despite the anxiety roiling in his gut. The cloth touched his face and immediately the figure snapped to the side, teeth chomping into thin air as he bit down where Grace's hand had been moments before.
Grace took a breath, remaining in view of the man but taking a step back to gain some rapport. "Look, I cannot imagine how scared you must be. The situation that we got you out of.. I don't know how you got into it but it looked awful. I promise, I'm not here to hurt you. I'm here to help you."
He glanced back to the blood dribbling from his mouth, "I know you don't trust me. You have no reason to, really. Armando restrained you and I'm so sorry he did that but I'm scared if I take them off, you're going to run, okay? And I don't like doing it, it feels really cruel but I've got a friend on this ship who's really sensitive to radiation and you're currently full of it, so getting anywhere close to him would really hurt him."
Grace worried the edge of the cloth between his fingers, the cool water forming droplets on his hand, remembering how Rocky barely had the energy to drag himself to his enclosure. He took a steadying breath, looking back at the man on the bed. It was surprising to see the man staring back at him with those dark eyes, still squinted but not exactly scowling anymore. Like he was asking hundreds of mental questions, assessing scenarios and figuring out the most likely response. It was an analytical gaze, one that he could only remember seeing on Stratt in that dreaded meeting before he ran. He forced back the shiver that threatened to drive down his spine.
"It's just.. it's gonna dry and then get sticky and then itchy and you're probably in a lot of pain anyway, so taking any little bit away is the best I can do cause it's mostly a waiting game and-"
"Okay." The voice was low, hoarse and scratchy. Grace looked at his eyes, the analysis having yielded.. confusion. He blinked, then moved forwards slowly, still being cautious.
"Okay." He repeated back, softly. Grace reached out, using his free hand to stabilise the man's chin, gently tilting it so he could clear the blood a little easier. As he applied the cloth, a droplet ran off and Grace's eyebrows furrowed as the man eagerly swallowed.
"I'll grab you some water in a moment, okay?" Grace said, earning a confused glance from him. As he swiped the cloth over his skin, rubbing in gentle, repetitive circles, he felt how cold the man was, surprised that he wasn't shivering.
As promised, once he'd finished cleaning his face, Grace reached over to grab an IV bag filled with water, easier to drink in zero-G, he surmised. He also scooped his quilt, offering it carefully.
"Here. You looked cold." Grace explained, seeing the man glance at the blanket, then look back at him, more of that confusion. "It's a pretty soft one, one of my favourites, very good at warming."
To prove his point, Grace put part of the quilt underneath the man's hand, close enough that he could easily touch it. Fingers reached out, stroking over the surface. Grace looked up at him again, seeing that the man had completely looked away, focused on looking at his hand and the fabric in it. From Grace's perspective, he could see the confusion turn to wonder, turn to longing. Slowly, Grace moved the blanket so it was fully covering the man, tucking it around his body. The man looked back up at him, bewildered.
"I promise, I'm here to help. I don't want to hurt you anymore than you clearly have been." Grace explained again, watching as the man fully focused on him.
"You don't even know me." That broken voice said again.
Grace shrugged, "No, I guess I don't. Doesn't mean I'm just going to toss you into space though, hey?"
There was silence, the man clearly processing this. It didn't seem to be one of the options that he had considered at all.
"What's your name?" Grace prompted, watching him carefully.
The man swallowed, looking around as if something was going to jump out and grab him. Then, in a whispered, disbelieving. "Simon."
"Ah, the listener." Grace responded with a chuckle, "Good because I talk a lot."
"Water?" The man offered.
Simon couldn't understand why he was being so kind, why he was sharing supplies with a stranger, why he was offering to clean him, to keep him warm, to keep him comfortable. It confused him. It didn't make sense. It didn't make any goddamn sense. He was still restrained against the bed but the bed was soft. It had an actual mattress and pillows and there was an IV set up to give him hydration and nutrients and he didn't understand.
But God, he was thirsty. His tongue stuck to the roof of his mouth and his throat was dry and it hurt to breathe. Cautiously, he parted his lips a little. The man placed the tap of the bag in his mouth like a straw.
"Just tap the bed when you're done, you can have as much as you need. According to Armando's data, you need to be drinking a stupid amount of water to help flush the radiation through. Apparently he's given you some kind of pill to protect your thyroid which is good, you kinda need that. Don't worry about drinking too much either, we have a recycling system on board so as long as that's running, we've got unlimited water."
With that, the man flicked the tap on, a steady stream of water flooding onto his tongue, rinsing out that horrendous iron taste. It flowed into him as the blood has done but this felt cleaner, like it was washing his insides free of the horrors of that damned ocean. He'd only meant to take a little, he knew that there was a recycling system but still, water was precious, but the taste was intoxicating, the refreshing relief from everything. His eyes closed in bliss as he heard his throat moving, gulping down as much as he could take. Selfish, he knew but he couldn't stop himself.
The tap moved, pulling back and he bit down on it, not willing to let the taste of being clean disappear.
"Simon, there's nothing left in the bag, you've emptied it." He heard the man say, opening his eyes slowly, finally letting the bag go after his tongue had lapped up the rest of the drops from the end. "I can give you more in a bit, let's just make sure you can hold that down first, okay?"
Through half lidded eyes (When had he gotten so tired?), Simon saw the man retreat, then sit down at a table and chair to his left. He tilted his head on the pillow to follow his motion, watching him cautiously.
"I'm gonna hang out here for a bit, okay? See what Armando's been doing and what the course of treatment is. I tend to think out loud, so just tell me to shut up if you need."
Simon watched as Grace tapped away at things on a tablet, presumably displaying whatever data this Armando had, scribbling things down onto random sheets of scrap paper. He glanced back to the robotic arm briefly, squinting at it. This was Armando?
His gaze flicked back as, true to his word, Grace started muttering over whatever he was seeing. "Ahh, so that's the IV. Hydration and a diuretic, now why would you.. oh the radiation, to flush it out, I'm with you, gotcha.. So what was the pill.. potassium iodide.. to protect the thyroid, that's pretty important.. ah, fabulous, morphine, fantastic painkiller.. trace amounts of the sedation given presumably before I got here.."
Simon felt strangely relaxed hearing the man's voice chattering on. Despite the reassurances that Grace has given him, that he could tell him to shut up at any moment, Simon didn't want to. Maybe this was all a dream. Maybe this was just the eel fucking with him. But it felt nice to be comforted. But.. every time the eel had appeared in some way to torment him, he'd always been instinctively ready to fight. But here, with Grace, sure he wanted to defend himself but.. he didn't want to swipe out and hurt him first. Sure, if this did turn out to be the eel, he'd go back to his normal, screaming and resisting and suffering.
His eyes slipped shut and he spoke into the clamouring of his mind, familiar words.
Our Father, who art in heaven. Are you still there? Have you closed the doors now that you've taken your chosen home?
Hallowed be thy name. You are as holy as they come because you are the definition of holy. We are made in your image. Am I made in your image still?
Thy kingdom come, Please, let it come home soon. We're sorry, I'm sorry. I was only a kid.
Thy will be done, You have a Great Plan. This is part of it, yes? We're not the ones left behind, we can still come home?
On Earth as it is in Heaven. Earth doesn't exist anymore. Does Heaven still prosper? I hope Heaven isn't like Eden.
Give us this day our daily bread. It isn't daily anymore. There is so little to go around. Forgive my selfishness.
And forgive us our sins, I have sinned so much. I'm so sorry, I promise, I'm sorry. I didn't know that I was sinning.
As we forgive those who sin against us, We forgive them, they do not know what they're doing. They don't know your plan, they have strayed.
And lead us not into temptation, Is this a test? I promise, if it is, I will do all I need to do to show you that I am still your son. Please, Father.
But deliver us from evil. Please. Please. No more. I can't take anymore, please.
For thine is the kingdom, I want to come home Father, please.
The power and the glory, You planned this, right? Forgive my doubts, I am human. This is your plan?
Forever and ever. Please, make the pain stop. We are suffering. We have learnt. Please, Father, please.
Amen. Please. I'm sorry.
Happy happy happy. Part Five is out
