How foolish can you foolish fools get?

@fool-counter

2,483 posts

I suppose I may as well make one of these now.

welcome, dear foolish fools, to fool-counter. I am Franziska von Karma, and I count "fools" in posts, one letter at a time. you've seen these gimmick blogs before.

feel free to tag me/send me links of any posts you want counted. my favorite posts are those with some kind of "fool" in them, so to speak, usually a self-deprecating or absurdist element. I tend to stay away from positivity posts as those making them may not appreciate their sentiments being called foolish.

the ask box is open as well, if you fools have something to say.

#additional foolishness - extra comments/posts unrelated to fool counting

#true fools - posts that contain the word fool and said fool isn't interrupted by other words

#fools on demand - posts that I was asked to count fools in

#breaking character - where I dare act like this isn't the personal blog of Franziska von Karma

for the grand December reopening of this blog (merry belated Almost Christmas!), I'm putting some rules down regarding what kind of posts are acceptable for fool counting:

remember that all fools are counted by a real person, not a bot or program. nothing is more soul-crushing than looking through a garbled keysmash mess to look for four specific letters.

in a similar vein, be mindful of the length of the posts/asks. a few paragraphs is okay, or a few verses and choruses of a song, but don't submit anything that would take a substantial amout of time to scroll through.

no nsfw. self-explanatory.

small housekeeping update! introducing:

#associated fools - for posts related to the foolishness of my attorney associates... slowly being applied to old posts as well.

to celebrate 3,000 followers, I played... a very ridiculous game. behold, the Japanifornian hunger games!

complete thread

highlight reel

#additional foolishness

It is imperative that the customer remain unaware that employees drink water, it frightens and scares them to think of an employee as having human needs

It is imperative that the customer remain unaware that employees drink water, it frightens and scares them to think of an employee as having human needs

fool count: 1

the vivid sensory-memory of sucking water out of a washcloth as a child

the vivid sensory-memory of sucking water out of a washcloth as a child

fool count: 1

Sometimes you send something you found online to a friend because you want to brighten their day, and sometimes you send something you found online to a friend with the precise attitude and bearing of a cat very carefully lining up their paw with the back of another cat's head.

Sometimes you send something you found online to a friend because you want to brighten their day, and sometimes you send something you found online to a friend with the precise attitude and bearing of a cat very carefully lining up their paw with the back of another cat's head.

fool count: 2

seat-safety-switch

Many of my friends love motorcycles, which are like cars but with fewer wheels. This makes them easier to store, I imagine, which appeals to me. Hoarding twice as many vehicles sounds great! Unfortunately, there are many problems with this deviant lifestyle, and it's not the ones that people will tell you.

If you ask the average uninitiated suburban voter, they'll express a level of fear when it comes to motorcycles. Oh no, they claim, those things will kill you instantly thirty million ways and they'll never find all of your body. That's not particularly relevant to me, mostly because I routinely drive cars with even less safety equipment than your average motorcycle. What is a concern? The lack of a trunk.

Friends, the trunk is one of the greatest inventions of all of humankind. To be able to put your shit in a box, lock it, and bring that shit with you across your travels? Delightful. Although many "touring" motorcycles have little boxes in which you can place your underwear, sidearms, and next-of-kin identification, space is still quite limited. You can't do what I do, which is leave a bunch of crap in the trunk that you're too lazy to bring into your house. Look back there. Yeah, that's a Commodore 128. It's the deluxe model. Won't even fit on a Goldwing.

To my surprise, when I brought this up to my biker-gang friends, I was rebuffed. Not only do larger touring bags exist, but certain ridiculous individuals have even developed a little trailer that you can tow behind your motorcycle. It's teeny-weeny, sure, but certainly bigger than the trunk in, say, a Fiat 500. And that's before we even get to sidecars.

The only problem here is that once you add one of these, suddenly the space advantage of the motorcycle disappears. You might as well just do what normal people do, and hoard between 35 and 71 old cars on your property. That said, I have recently found a couple motorcycles that I forgot I owned. They were in the trunk.

Many of my friends love motorcycles, which are like cars but with fewer wheels. This makes them easier to store, I imagine, which appeals to me. Hoarding twice as many vehicles sounds great! Unfortunately, there are many problems with this deviant lifestyle, and it's not the ones that people will tell you.

If you ask the average uninitiated suburban voter, they'll express a level of fear when it comes to motorcycles. Oh no, they claim, those things will kill you instantly thirty million ways and they'll never find all of your body. That's not particularly relevant to me, mostly because I routinely drive cars with even less safety equipment than your average motorcycle. What is a concern? The lack of a trunk.

Friends, the trunk is one of the greatest inventions of all of humankind. To be able to put your shit in a box, lock it, and bring that shit with you across your travels? Delightful. Although many "touring" motorcycles have little boxes in which you can place your underwear, sidearms, and next-of-kin identification, space is still quite limited. You can't do what I do, which is leave a bunch of crap in the trunk that you're too lazy to bring into your house. Look back there. Yeah, that's a Commodore 128. It's the deluxe model. Won't even fit on a Goldwing.

To my surprise, when I brought this up to my biker-gang friends, I was rebuffed. Not only do larger touring bags exist, but certain ridiculous individuals have even developed a little trailer that you can tow behind your motorcycle. It's teeny-weeny, sure, but certainly bigger than the trunk in, say, a Fiat 500. And that's before we even get to sidecars.

The only problem here is that once you add one of these, suddenly the space advantage of the motorcycle disappears. You might as well just do what normal people do, and hoard between 35 and 71 old cars on your property. That said, I have recently found a couple motorcycles that I forgot I owned. They were in the trunk.

fool count: 18

dragon-in-a-fez

there's a group of high school boys in this McDonald's and I just heard one of them say "I bet you you cannae break your own arm" so something interesting might happen shortly

there's a group of high school boys in this McDonald's and I just heard one of them say "I bet you you cannae break your own arm" so something interesting might happen shortly

fool count: 2

pipermintz-deactivated20260402

I feel like if humans swallowed rocks like birds do to help grind up food we'd have so much fun with it.

Can just imagine all the girlies on tiktok going "I know this is a bit controversial but I honestly love using limestone as a gastrolith. Not only can you readily forage it but they are just so pretty when smoothed out after regurgitating them"

and then all the comments would be like " girl 😭 😭 calcite dissolves in stomach acid!! Just use quartz if you want a pretty gastrolith like 💀"

I like this site. Y’all just shotgunning counterfactual timelines

I feel like if humans swallowed rocks like birds do to help grind up food we'd have so much fun with it.

Can just imagine all the girlies on tiktok going "I know this is a bit controversial but I honestly love using limestone as a gastrolith. Not only can you readily forage it but they are just so pretty when smoothed out after regurgitating them"

and then all the comments would be like " girl 😭 😭 calcite dissolves in stomach acid!! Just use quartz if you want a pretty gastrolith like 💀"

I like this site. Y’all just shotgunning counterfactual timelines

fool count: 4

Funniest tags (and I mean this with no animosity) you can get on OC art is “I don’t go here”. Like *takes long drag out of cigarette and stares into the middle distance in deep contemplation* does anyone…..

Funniest tags (and I mean this with no animosity) you can get on OC art is “I don’t go here”. Like *takes long drag out of cigarette and stares into the middle distance in deep contemplation* does anyone…..

fool count: 2

Normal groceries like milk or bread or whatever running out is whatever. Just anotha day. But when stuff like salt or cooking oil or rice runs out it feels like You’re supposed to be here for me and you’re leaving. You’re just like everyone else

Normal groceries like milk or bread or whatever running out is whatever. Just anotha day. But when stuff like salt or cooking oil or rice runs out it feels like You’re supposed to be here for me and you’re leaving. You’re just like everyone else

fool count: 2

ur-favorite-fishgirl

sex is a distraction from your true purpose in life which is to go to the aquarium and look at the fish and go "wooooooaaah.... fishies". cmon guys we all need to lock in.

sex is a distraction from your true purpose in life which is to go to the aquarium and look at the fish and go "wooooooaaah…. fishies". cmon guys we all need to lock in.

fool count: 3

resurrected dead wife watching her own montage: wow I looked so hot in that

resurrected dead wife watching her own montage: wow I looked so hot in that

fool count: 1

Everything I read about recovering from burnout is like “it takes months or even years to fully recover” and it’s like okay…. I have a weekend before I gotta clock in on Monday

Everything I read about recovering from burnout is like “it takes months or even years to fully recover” and it’s like okay…. I have a weekend before I gotta clock in on Monday

fool count: 2

btw it's so fucking stupid you can be anxious physically in your body even after you've decided mentally you don't care. I'm supposed to be in charge here

btw it's so fucking stupid you can be anxious physically in your body even after you've decided mentally you don't care. I'm supposed to be in charge here

fool count: 1

I took your skull off display because my guests kept saying it looked noticeably gayer than the other skulls

I took your skull off display because my guests kept saying it looked noticeably gayer than the other skulls

fool count: 1

clowngirlcreampie

*to a t4t couple*

so which one of you is the quick brown fox and who is the lazy dog?

*to a t4t couple*

so which one of you is the quick brown fox and who is the lazy dog?

fool count: 1

mapswithoutwyoming

legend tells of a mysterious being called “nuance” that allows multiple things to be true at the same time. some say you can still hear its voice whispering in the trees

legend tells of a mysterious being called “nuance” that allows multiple things to be true at the same time. some say you can still hear its voice whispering in the trees

fool count: 1

Wait i can learn from my mistakes? Ohhhhh ok i was just using them to torment myself

Wait i can learn from my mistakes? Ohhhhh ok i was just using them to torment myself

fool count: 1

How foolish can you foolish fools get? @fool-counter - Tumblr Blog | Tumgag