A Creature

[senatortedcruz]

Wonderful photo

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

sometimes it is fun and easy to go to bed because I make up scenarios in my head. other times it is difficult and not fun, because you see, I am making up scenarios in my head

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

i love having a corporeal form. i love eating warm food on cold days. i love taking hot showers. i love sleeping on clean sheets. i delight in earthly decadence. i wake up and eat warm bread slathered in butter. i own multiple pairs of soft fuzzy socks. this body is so comfy and i'm not returning it any time soon

[wonderingwhereileftreality]

Babe it's decomposing

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

and yet i am NOT DONE USING IT

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

REANIMATE REUSE RECYCLE

[wizardpotions]

yes babe your final form is so horrifying and uninterpretable by mortal eyes <3

[pingo1387]

having a headache while hydrated is so unfair. you were supposed to protect me.

[aropride]

12 years old: i was so cringe when i was nine, i'm super mature now though

15 years old: i was so cringe when i was twelve, i'm super mature now though. i'm a totally different person. i'm basically an adult

18 years old: i was so. (trying to be nicer to myself) fifteen. when i was fifteen. i wasn't an adult even a little back then. i'm an adult now though of course

21 years old: i was so newborn fawn taking its first steps when i was 18. i wasn't an adult at 18 i'm barely even an adult now tbh

23 years old: i was so. hey wait the others have all gone up in increments of three why'd it change

23 years old: because i'm still 23 so i can't speak to that experience yet

23 years old: do you think anything will magically change in the next few months to the point where you can't possibly imagine how you'll feel at 24

23 years old: i mean you never know. anything can happen. they're letting people born in 2002 turn 24, for instance

the mold spores in my house speaking to me telepathically: yeah that's perfect now hit post

[megamindsupremacy]

surely this is a sign that there’s nothing in particular wrong with the atmosphere right now

[parkayquarts]

little girl in the checkout line was freaking the FUCK out reaching for a shelf and screaming "GIMMEEEE GIMMEEEEE" at the top of her lungs and the mom kept saying "no 🫩" and I look at the shelf expecting there to be candy or something and it was full of batteries

[duckbunny]

you are fifteen thousand generations removed from stone tools

[duckbunny]

to be clear you are fifteen thousand generations removed from the invention of stone tools. not from the end of stone tools. modern humans are still using stone tools.

[pseudomasochist]

Flawless tags, @baddywronglegs

[fractoluminescence]

I thought you meant we were descendents -of- stone tools

[duckbunny]

your father was a handaxe and your mother smelt of microliths

[redstonedust]

i need crossword puzzles to stop giving me sports clues. dont ask me about football stars and nba championships and baseball team names. im the kind of nerd who chooses to do crossword puzzles why would you expect this of me. cruel and unusual.

[nonlynear]

sorry about me. or youre welcome. depending

[dogsandphilosophers]

Can anyone recommend some entry level behaviours? Thinking of getting into being

[redstonedust]

nostalgia bait is much less effective when you have memory problems. "hey its that thing from your childhood, don't you love thing from your childhood?" i wouldnt know </3 i forgor.

[chemicalico]

who wanna be friends with drawbacks

[eatthekidsfirst]

friends with consequences

[oneheadtoanother]

[chimaerakitten]

“Would you block someone just for disagreeing with you?” Pal, I’ll block someone for agreeing with me in the wrong tone of voice.

[gumy-shark]

playing stupid games but im really bad at them so im not even winning the stupid prizes