Forties And Fostering

planting some roots through fostering, foster to adopt, taking chances, moving past the fork in the road. Ask me a question! Submit!

[fortiesandfostering]

[fortiesandfostering]

NMIC’s Out of School Youth Program

Hoping this finds its way to someone who can use this!  Please share!

Skill Up and Earn Money in NMIC's Out of School Youth Program

What is OSY? is a 5-week paid certification and training program for opportunity youth ages 16-24 who are out of school and not working at the time of enrollment. Candidates receive a stipend of $500 once they complete certifications, program benchmarks and trainings. There are also opportunities to earn incentives, and candidates will receive metrocards while enrolled in programming.

What do OSY candidates earn?Candidates earn the following certificates and training:

ServSafe Certificate

National Retail Federation's Customer Service Certificate

Microsoft Office Specialist (MOS) Certificate (minimum reading score required)

Opportunity to receive NYC Food Protection Certificate

Potential for 100 hours of paid internship experience

Employment readiness training

Academic tutoring and services (basic skills training)

One full year of education/career counseling and services

How do applicants qualify?

Must be 16-24 years old (any applicant under 18 must have guardian consent)

Reside in the 5 boroughs

Cannot have a job or be enrolled in school at the time of application

Must be legally eligible to work in the United States

Meet required TABE (literacy and numeracy) scores

Show an interest in employment readiness and certifications

Other eligibility criteria may apply

How to applicants apply?Interested applicants must bring:

Birth certificate

Social Security Card

Valid state ID

Proof of address

Call Now!!

Ms. Emma Valencia: 212-453-5378

Ms. Margaret Gonzalez: 212-453-5369

NMIC's Education & Career Services Department is located at:

45 Wadsworth Ave, Second Floor, New York, NY 10033

A train to 175th St. or 1 train to 181st St.

[tohkyo]

https://www.instagram.com/p/BhPgf2lhaC-/

[nowacking]

I have exactly 11 questions

[coughloop]

i dont, mind your business

[a-waste-of-time]

ok why is this cat giving me strong jeff goldblum vibes 

[kittysuggest]

They said mind your business

[onlyblackgirl]

So no one gone address what the whole hell is on the television?

[onlyblackgirl]

If you ain’t this hype at my graduation, don’t even come.

[fortiesandfostering]

I have soooo many questions but gat damn I love this.

[irmaluhrmanmerman]

[bujnik]

“At least she was smart enough to start a side business.”

[meowlizziemixer]

Absolutely. One is bad enough, since I have zero faith in their ability to train or manage the dogs.

[fosterthababies]

Nope.

[mendedhope]

I don’t pick the time.

[fortiesandfostering]

At least he is an entertaining guest.

[fortiesandfostering]

If anyone was wondering where the pumpkin spice products go to die.

[rothjuje]

Help me

I’m trying to figure out Audrey and the best way to help her.

I know that children with neglect history have delays. And that children with trauma history have delays.

Audrey was removed from neglect 2.5 years ago. I don’t know how educationally rich her subsequent environments were, but she received enough mental stimulation to know the names of colors and shapes.

She had a stable home for 2 years, then 2 months of instability which included several different homes, and then another stable home for 6 months. Now us, and she has been here a little over 2 months.

Her doctor says that for each move, children need 3 months to mentally recover. They need 3 months to acclimate to their new surroundings. They have trouble with learning new information because their mind is so busy absorbing tidbits about their new environment.

Audrey is 4.5 years old and has been in school for 7 weeks. We also work with Audrey daily. She still cannot identify a single color. We use the foster care clinic’s recommended method of focusing on one color per day. We also use repetition which I’ve heard is a must but I don’t know if it’s just confusing her more. Thoughts? We’ve used small samples (3 colors at a time) but it doesn’t seem to be helping either.

I feel like my whole life is fucking colors.

The whole color thing is so non-stop over here that 2 year old Elliot has learned red. I am obsessing but colors is like the first way they measure retention in Pre-K.

Let’s just say that, despite knowing the names or colors and shapes, Audrey had little mental stimulation before being placed here. When should I expect to see progress? And when do I worry?

I also don’t think this kid has ADHD. She is relatively calm at home. She gets wild in public. It’s like she’s overstimulated or something, but she gets super hyped up. Which makes sense, her first 3 weeks here were insane but that was because we *were* the public. Now we’re the known and she is calm. People come over? Bam! Extreme hyperactivity. Outside? Extreme hyperactivity. School? Extreme hyperactivity.

That’s not ADHD, right? Maybe it’s just ADD because she’s so calm at home. I have no idea. I just know she cannot focus, even when calm.

So. Help. Should I stop obsessing? Is this trauma? Is this ADHD? Is this something more?

[fortiesandfostering]

R

[fortiesandfostering]

Reunification...

After 2.5 years with me, my little guy is home with his mom.  Yup, I’m feeling sad...yes, it feels very strange.  

[fortiesandfostering]

Hey @bujnik, how are you? Certainly did not mean to imply that she invented fostering and I am sad that that is the one thing you took away from this. I grew up with foster sisters for a while, had a great aunt who was fostering over 40 years ago. Hope that gives me some street cred because I know that is important with some Fumblrs. Fosterhood definitely brought some attention to foster parent as advocate, agressive and assertive advocacy in a scary system known for its punitive and vindictive actions towards.empowered foster parents. Perhaps there are others before her - Working in the NYC system and I am hoping to find them all so I can acknowledge them as well.

[greenmountainmom]

Child Abuse and Addiction

I’ve written about my nephew, D, before. He’s 15, lives in another state. D doesn’t have a great home life with either parent (addicts) and has wanted to come visit (or live here forever if he had his way) for a few years. His father (not related) had full custody for a while and wouldn’t let him come. His parents got split custody a few months ago and his mom was supposed to let him come visit on April vacation, but then last minute she told us he couldn’t because of an appointment. She told him we cancelled on him because we didn’t have time for him, class act. Anyway. He’s been wanting to come all summer and we have been trying to coordinate with both parents and their schedules with no luck.

Last week his father took him (and his other kids) along to some party, got high on god knows what, and then beat the shit out of D. His father’s girlfriend tried to intervene, so he beat the shit out of her too. He was arrested for domestic violence.

I just found out about it today and I’m so mad I’m shaking. This kid… he’s been dragged through the life of addicts since he was born. He’s witnessed so much. And no one has ever really intervened on his behalf, even though both parents have been in jail, everyone knows they use drugs, and child welfare has been involved. Both parents have other, younger children living with them too. No one cares.

This is why letting a child stay in the home of parents that are actively using drugs is not ok. It escalates. Even if the parent can sometimes take adequate care of them, like my SIL can. Her kids can look well dressed in public, but what are these children being exposed to behind the scenes? What violence are they witnessing and being subjected to? How much are they being neglected when their parents are high?

Why didn’t I do more to try to speak up? Even though I never saw the drug use when I was visiting, I was pretty sure it was happening. Why didn’t I call in and report?

Now his mom has full custody again, and my MIL is bring D here on Friday and he will be staying at least a week or two. I wish I had the power to take him out of that environment for good. I feel so helpless.

[fortiesandfostering]

Not exactly the same but reminded me of a foster parent experience I was told about a couple of weeks ago and I want to remember it.

I went to our foster parent appreciation dinner a couple of weeks ago. There was very low attendance and I'd like to think it was because the day/time and location were all pretty inconvenient.

Anyway, the training coordinator was there and she has always adored me, she brought me to a table where there were two much older foster moms. I refer to the type as the foot soldiers of the foster care world- in the trenches, some of them are amazing, some are downright awful but they say yes to the difficult teen, the sibling group of six and the agencies can't quit them.

Anyway, they were both (among others) being honored at the dinner for fostering 15 years or more. The one I was sitting closest to looked somewhat friendly and approachable (not the other one though) so I tried to make conversation.

She was pretty amazing, has had over 60 ? placements. During the dinner, a former foster son, now 28, now living in LA and thriving, called her to congratulate her but the call wasnt unusual, he calls her everyday.

I found out from a Caseplanner several days later that this foster son had been reunified with his birthmom when he was less than a preteen, to a not a good situation. Foster mom kept in touch, there was a horrible incident, foster mom went around the agency and immediately filed for legal guardianship and got it. He grew up with her.

Shame on me. Never expected this spunky woman to have done such a thing. This was way before fosterhood type fostering.

[fortiesandfostering]

@parentingbyproxy No, this is you and that's me on the right.

[fortiesandfostering]

On a random note, can someone tell me what Hape was getting at with this outfit?

[fortiesandfostering]

At this late stage in this placement, we have lost our previous case planner of (just) 3 months and assigned a new extremely green case planner. But even more painful, case planner's supervisor, who was at least overseeing this placement from the beginning is gone. Just gone.

[fortiesandfostering]

I'm learning lots as we enter this stage of my little guy's placement: He will be in trial reunification which means he is still in foster care, but the first day of the first second of this trial reunification, his mom must find medical and dental insurance for him and a new doctor. She cannot use the agency clinic. Mom has to apply for additional funds to support her now bigger household. This cannot be done a second before trial reunification begins. First day of trial reunification, the agency gives her a letter and she must get herself to the nearest relevant agency to apply. I still don't know the exact transition plan. There will be a big meeting scheduled in about two weeks with ACS, Foster agency staff, me, mom, to discuss transition. Date for meeting hasn't been confirmed yet.

[bren-duh-deactivated20180512]

Joe calls planes bees and it's probably the cutest fucking thing I've ever heard

Whenever we see a plane- Joe: “Bee!!! Mommy! Bee!!!”

[margoglynn]

L calls nachos “machos.” It’s so adorable I can hardly stand it.

Anyone else want to chime in? We could all use some awwwws today.

[atlemont]

Nugget calls guitars “songs”. And he will pick them up and strum them and stomp his feet and sing. It’s adorable and fills my heart with happiness…

[peaceloveandfostercare]

Prince used to call knives “sharps”, elevators were “alligators” and skeletons were “pelicans” 😂

I miss those days! Peanut doesn’t really mix up words yet.

[waitingistheworst-deactivated20]

When you’re buying food you put it in a shopping carpet.

Little einsteins are still “little tein teins”

Those are my only remnants of the babyhood/speech delay that was!

[justbets]

I love all these!! Owlet says “You’re Yuckum” and it is the cutest thing on the planet when she sings the Moana song. To say watermelon she just darts her tongue in and out of her mouth while making sound.

[that-girl-erin]

Cora calls ripped jeans “broken”.

Leep lops (flip flops), baby soup (bathing suit), “paint your polish” is how she refers to getting nails done. Anything carbonated is sparkly juice. Forks have teeth and spoons don’t. Maya would call sharp nails “sharky” and Cora is doing the same thing.

[squirrels-and-whales]

Listening to music my daughter often asks for the song “Six eggs, drums, and rock n’roll”!

Better than the alternative of Sex and Drums and Rock and Roll….I might need to reconsider the ol’playlist.

[littlelionsmama]

“Pail Nolish” & Hangerburr (hamburger) are my favorite from my kids.

[mixed-beginnings]

Bean calls any bees hon-erts. (Instead of hornets)

She hardly mixes up any words these days. Almost 6.

[parentingbycommittee]

Little Dude likes the little “copping sharts” at Trader Joe’s.

[fortiesandfostering]

My little guy - 'no nuts' for donuts.

[just-a-skinny-boy]

I can’t decide what’s funnier, the dog, or the guy that’s dying of laughter in the background

[fortiesandfostering]

Six month trial reunification will start most likely last week of August.  If any fumblrs have experience with easing reunification for a toddler after a looonnnnng stay (I’ve had him from 5 months old), any help appreciated.  Extended visits have been very challenging for the little guy - he wakes up crying at mom’s house.)

I need words...I would love to speak with a foster parent who has been through this.  He is quite verbal, understands a lot but of course he is not even 3 yet.