I Should Have Become a Conductor

call me ryan keats. im from russia and im trash. i havent used desktop tumblr in years so i have no clue what it looks like forgive me 06.16|gemini he/him

[raytoroapologist]

at least im a faggot

[anistarrose]

if you are a parent, or may become one, or you are otherwise likely to arrive in the situation of caring for a child while they eat, promise me this: if a child doesn't like a certain food or food group, you will ask them WHY. and specifically, you will pay attention to either confirming or ruling out "it makes my mouth itch" or "it makes my stomach hurt," both of which are medically important info that children may not provide unprompted. which i know because this PSA has been brought to you by "i spent my entire childhood and much of my early teens eating peas and lentils while wondering why everyone else liked the Violently Itchy Mouth Sensation so much, like were they a bunch of legume masochists or something, before i finally realized that Violently Itchy Mouth Sensation was in fact a sinister demon appearing only to me, and her true demonic name was: Legume Allergy"

[un-pearable]

dear universe give me ten billion dollars and infinite free time and indestructible hands so i can do every hobby ever

[aesths-deactivated20220604]

[dogpuppy]

[dogpuppy]

[ltwilliammowett]

The Danish training ship “Georg Stage” (1934) dresses in rainbow colour, 2021 

[dragon-in-a-fez]

not the kind of gay ship I’m used to seeing on tumblr but cool

[dubiousculturalartifact]

ship georg is an outlier but SHOULD be counted

[sirfetchd]

how it feels to be obsessed with your own ocs but you cant think of what to say about them

[manuciruja]

awww the like button turns into a rainbow when you press it! that's so cute...hey staff what's with all the trans women you keep nuking?

[manuciruja]

i think we should be ridiculing them more for this. you don't get to try and go all "queer website" when your staff likes to go on nuking sprees targeting the trans fem users

[smadsel]

would be remiss not to mention that the rainbow notably straight up just removed the trans flag colors from it. like they’re gone. it’s the progress flag minus the trans flag colors.

[smadsel]

that’s not the whole flag, now is it

[manuciruja]

hey staff what the fuck

[villainessbian]

hey staff don't you think you're being too on-the-nose

[shrodingers-catgirl]

HEY STAFF DONT YOU THINK YOU'RE BEING TOO ON-THE-NOSE

[teathattast]

[drangel76]

WE FOUND MEXICO!!!!!

[teathattast]

[canon-gabriel-quotes]

Visit Original Link

Visit Original Link

Transcript:

KILL THIS GUY WITH HAMMERS

Audio Source

[jaypilled]

are those my only options

[prower-labs]

[ell-does-stuff]

shadow quiz is about to go crazy

[w00dzt3r]

WHOS THAT POKEMON

[minttttttttttttttttttttttttttt]

sorry but this video is like a parasitic species to me

[leaveme2thewolves]

i block ppl all the time so my blocklist ranges from "actual fucking asshole fascist" n "post that mildly annoyed me because im petty" and if i went thru my blocklist rn i probably would have no idea why i blocked each of them but whatever

[polynesia-deactivated20240207]

why are u guys american

[thivus]

sorry

[punishedspiderman]

OP said american not canadian 

[thecybersmith]

PLEASE UNBLOCK ME THIVUS, I’M SORRY FOR OPENLY FANTASISING ABOUT CASTRATING AND ENSLAVING YOU!!!!!

[louisegluckpdf]

reading nabokov is maddening because his writing is so playful and evocative and effortless and english isn't even his first language. he's doing things in a second language most people could spend their lives trying and failing to replicate in their first language. makes me feel like this

[louisegluckpdf]

"my very photogenic mother died in a freak accident (picnic, lightning) when i was three" like come ON how did you write the funniest sentence ever by adding a two word parenthetical. leave something for the rest of us

[captain-stretch-nuts]

Mercury, Venus, (uh oh) Pearth, Mars (phew), Djupiter (never mind), Faturn ⁉️, Luranus (kinda French actually), Pneptune

[sevdrag]

I got to “Faturn” and burst into horribly loud laughter I’m now crying over this in bed fucking Faturn

[weepingwidar]

Liu Yin (Chinese, 1984) - Vegetarian Eagles Plundering Innocent Turnips (2025-2026)