I Should Have Become a Conductor

call me ryan keats. im from russia and im trash. i havent used desktop tumblr in years so i have no clue what it looks like forgive me 06.16|gemini he/him

[raytoroapologist]

at least im a faggot

[pangur-and-grim]

all posts are temporary 🧘

[polcasan]

[pangur-and-grim]

THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE TEMPORARY

[valtsv]

wearing two cursed amulets to manipulate them into competing with each other for ownership of my soul and unintentionally improving my life in their attempts to seduce me

[valtsv]

hiring two duplicitous advisors with opposing agendas to manipulate them into hatefucking each other in front of me while i fujo out about it

[valtsv]

it's not a "love triangle" it's a business opportunity with benefits

[valtsv]

anon hate economy is in shambles they're sending me cartoon criminal with a striped black and white shirt and burlap sack with a dollar sign on it ass anons now

[valtsv]

when you're mean to me online this is what you look like btw

[anti-parent]

teamwork makes the dream work. and dreamwork. makes shrek

[anti-parent]

fantastic. i love it. i posted this after my wife said it yesterday and as i was doing it i was like "this can't be an original thought. as soon as i hit post someone's going to say 'you stole this from a tweet from 2014' and i'll say 'no, i stole it from my beautiful wife.'"

[what-is-love-babey-dont-hurt-me]

You guys ever see a DNI that makes you break out into laughter and almost cry

[what-is-love-babey-dont-hurt-me]

If graphic design is your passion then !!! GET OUT !!! 🚫🚫👎‼️🥶🥶🚫

[melancholygirls]

I passed a flower shop next to a tattoo shop and at first I laughed because I thought it was ironic and then i freaked because IMAGINE YOUR OTP IN A FLORIST/TATTOO ARTIST AU

[stillalittlekid]

OMG I COULD TOTALLY IMAGINE THEM LIKE THAT IT WOULD BE SO PERFECT

[christ-with-a-why]

[hellsitegenetics]

String identified: a a t t a tatt a at t ag ca tgt t a c a t a ca AG T A T/TATT ATT A G C TTA AG T TAT T CT T ac tt!

Closest match: Hottonia palustris genome assembly, chromosome: 9 Common name: Water Violet

(image source)

[lesbianmarrow]

free use is kind of a funny kink bc it relies on the idea that everybody wants to touch you and have sex with you but what if they don't. what if you tell everybody at the party you're free use but they all ignore you and mind their own business

[tunnaa-unnaa]

taking notes

[sapropel]

Sometimes your bad coworker will be like "I can't do anything right & I ruin everything I touch :(" and you can't even comfort them because like damn. Yeah. You really can't do anything right and you do ruin everything you touch☝️

[sapropel]

HE'S GETTING FIRED. NEVER GIVE UP ON YOUR DREAMS!!!!!!!!!!

[not-your-average-url]

I miss when ads were a single click and then they’re gone. Now every ad has a minimum of three phases where you watch a video, exit the still frame of fake gameplay, and then exit the app download. That doesn’t even touch on the ones that forcibly take you to another app after opening a tab in safari without you ever touching the screen.

I hate advertising. I hate that you can’t do anything without companies jumping down your throat with mostly bullshit ads. I hate that billboards exist. I hate that every company unanimously decided to make their ads longer and longer. I hate that ad blockers try to charge you money and there are in app purchases to remove ads. I hate that my attention has become commodified. I hate that there’s nothing I can do about it.

[hateusandseeifwemind]

[i-fuck-audis]

MY FUCKING CAR

[oneheadtoanother]

[tachyon-log]

(USAmerican trying to imagine a societal environment) Okay, so picture a highway,

[fishmech]

inability to correctly perceive 3d objects is in fact far more dangerous when someone is driving a car next to you then when they're like, sending emails to you.

[bunniope]

can we focus on the gnome for a second

[bunniope]

wait sorry i was not wearing my glasses. that is a cat

[ladyofspoons]

these are the people i have to share a highway with

[fyterx]

[beeeleenn]

today is the last saturday of 2012. reblog now or go @#!*% yourself because you won't get this chance ever again.

[phantomrose96]

Boss tries to fire me for poor performance but I punch the ground and spit out blood and say "No... this isn't how this ends" while my leitmotif plays

[phantomrose96]

Boss fires me for my poorly-composed leitmotif

[sabertoothwalrus]

I’m so proud of senshi for making it so far in the tumblr sexyman poll. I think it’s so beautiful that tumblr has reached a point where a short fat hairy bearded man is the pinnacle of sexuality for a large swath of this userbase. it’s like when you see before & after pictures of a rainforest recovering from deforestation. nature is healing and we can fight god

[sabertoothwalrus]

I hope he wins so someone will have to explain to ryoko kui what a tumblr sexyman is

[ailithnight]

[sabertoothwalrus]

I have to say I forgot the onceler’s thing was cutting down trees when I made my metaphor.

[corantus]

locked the fuck in get my money up

[skoomabong]