Let's get foxxy!

Personal tumblr of an aspiring Youtuber and crazed fangirl. If you'd like, check out my links down below!

[beeefy]

me, grade 5, explaining to my friends that my bratz doll left her husband because her husband joined a gang against women with short hair so she broke up with him, got a haircut, and found another bratz doll with short hair and they own every single my littlest pet shop animal i have and she is much happier now. but then her ex came back with another woman and tried to make her jealous but the other women looked exactly like her and it turns out they were long lost twins separated at birth so her newfound sister breaks up with him too because they have twin powers but then the ex kills her in a rage but wait she didnt actually die but she has a scar on her face and she’s out for revenge and now she has a knife and i called the story ‘the knife the angry wife and the ex in strife’

all my friends at the sleepover:

[catscharm]

Watch tower.

[funnywildlife]

Himalayan marmots come for their regular feed by a caring lady, aww

[jmdj]

Blessed image.

[somecutething]

[thickdaddydandelion-deactivated]

A TINY, FEARLESS LEADER

[mjsheartisstillbeating]

C’MON GUYS

[buzzfeed]

23 Halloween Tumblr Posts To Tide You Over Until October 31st

[catchymemes]

Those are some damn cleaned glass doors

[imonlyadumpling]

Wholesome prank

[gilmorescreencaps]

[renardtrickster]

Sometimes good posts are made by annoying people so I’ll help out

These are Safe Shorts. They were made by Sandra Seilz after someone attempted to rape her. If the fabric is torn, an alarm will be sounded.

This is the Rape-aXe, invented by a South African doctor by the name of  Sonnet Ehlers. After interviewing a rape victim who wished she had teeth down there, she made this. If someone’s penis is inserted and pulled back out, the teeth will sink in, and can only be removed by a doctor.

The Killer Tampon (couldn’t find a site for it), made by retired anaesthetist Jaap Haumann. When penetration takes place, the sharp end will slice the offending appendage.

The Anti-Rape Belt (also couldn’t find a site), made by a group of Swedish teenagers led by Nadja Björk. It requires two hands to undo.

Anti-Rape Underwear/Bra (once again), as made by a group of Indian students. Will deliver an electric shock when met with unwanted advances, as well as sounding an alarm.

Undercover Colours. Made by 4 male undergraduates at North Carolina U, they change colours when in contact with chemicals or drugs that cause unconsciousness. Used in case you’re wary that your drink has been roofied.

These are just tools to help, but in addition to being mindful of your situations and staying safe, they can help when the worst happens.

Stay safe.

[sabakunogaaraai]

ok, those are all kind of awesome. i wish they weren’t needed, bit still…awesome solutions.

[toothmuncher3000]

I feel more comfortable reblogging this version

[fawkyou-deactivated20190309]

RapeAxe has a gofund me up that barely has 700 dollars. I feel like the inventions that havent even been funded yet should be linked to the page you can support them at.

[babylonqaf]

RapeAxe- website which links their gofundme

[leaper182]

As of this reblog, Rape-aXe needs to raise $308,537. If you can’t help fund it, please reblog?

[unpretty]

some dudes like to talk a big game about how comedy suffers when people are afraid to offend but man, Mitch Hedberg was a white dude working in the era of peak offensive edgelord and his shit holds the fuck up so while most comedians will never come up with anything as timeless as “if carrots got you drunk, rabbits would be fucked up” they could at least make an effort

[unpretty]

[siphersaysstuff]

Every McDonald’s commercial ends the same way, right? “Prices and participation may vary.” I wanna open a McDonald’s and not participate in anything. I wanna be a stubborn McDonald’s owner. I’ll say “Cheeseburgers? Nope. We got spaghetti! And blankets! We are not affiliated with that clown.”

Every book is a children’s book if the kid can read.

I would like to have a product that was available for three easy payments and one fuckin’ complicated payment. We can’t tell you which payment it is, but one of these payments is gonna be a bitch! The mailman will get shot to death, the envelope will not seal, and the stamp will be in the wrong denomination! Good luck, fucker! That last payment must be made in wampum!

Hey, if you wanna talk to me after the show, I’ll be… fuckin’ surprised.

[awa64]

This shirt is “dry-clean only”… Which means it’s dirty.

One time, this guy handed me a picture of him, he said “Here’s a picture of me when I was younger.” Every picture is of you when you were younger. “Here’s a picture of me when I’m older.” “You son-of-a-bitch! How’d you pull that off? Lemme see that camera… What’s it look like? ”

An escalator can never break, it can only become stairs. You would never see an “Escalator Temporarily Out Of Order” sign, just “Escalator Temporarily Stairs. Sorry for the convenience.

I play golf. I’m not good at golf, I never got good. I never got a hole-in-one. But I did hit a guy. And that’s way more satisfying. You’re supposed to yell “Fore!” but I was too busying mumbling “There ain’t no way that’s gonna hit him.”

When you’re in Hollywood and you’re a comedian, everybody wants you to do other things besides comedy. They say “All right you’re a stand up comedian, can you act? Can you write? Write us a script.” They want me to do things that’s related to comedy, but it’s not comedy. That’s not fair. It’s as though if I was a cook, and I worked my ass off to become a good cook, and they said “All right you’re a cook… can you farm?”

[amphitryo-deactivated20190813]

- “Rice is great when you’re you’re hungry and you want 10,000 of something”

- “Tennis is depressing because no matter how good you get, you will never be as good as a wall”

- “I order the club sandwich all the time, but I’m not even a member, man. I don’t know how I get away with it”

[pumpkin-bread]

it just occurred to me that cats are basically pet monsters

go bump in the night

scratches at your door

alarming noises

“where are you, kitty?” looks under bed to see a pair of luminous eyes staring out of the gloom, unblinking. “oh there you are!”

you spot movement out of the corner of your eye, but when you turn to look you see nothing 

turn back and THERE IT IS

[monstertwix]

I’m sorry I couldn’t resist drawing these

bonus cuddles

[portmanteau-bot]

bonus + cuddles = bonuddles.

Beep-boop. Portmanteau^bot^1 👻 Booooo | PayPal | Patreon

[ackermanerwin]

today is the only day you can reblog this

[byeyallimmovingblogs-deactivate]

oh?

Oh??

OH??

OH???

ROCKS ROCKS ROCKS RCOK COS ROCKS OTSOCK TOCKS

[softlonelyprince]

you’re so fucking lucky, i keep getting ads about dental implants

[pingspoof]

Reblog Heh-iplier to be cursed for 28 years

[penroseparticle]

My favorite thing is that Europe is spooky because it’s old and America is spooky because it’s big

[meduseld]

“The difference between America and England is that Americans think 100 years is a long time, while the English think 100 miles is a long way.” –Earle Hitchner

[burntcopper]

A fave of mine was always the american tales where people freaked out because ‘someone died in this house’ and all the europeans would go ‘…Yes? That would be pretty much every house over 40 years old.’

‘…My school is older than your entire town.’

‘Sorry, you think *how far* is okay to travel for a shopping trip?’

*American looks up at the beams in a country pub* ‘Uh, this place has woodworm, isn’t that a bit unsafe?’ ‘Eh, the woodworm’s 400 years old, it’s holding those beams together.’

[bedlamsbard]

A few years ago when I was in college I did a summer program at Cambridge aimed specifically at Americans and Canadians, and my year it was all Americans and one Australian.  We ended the program with a week in Wessex, and on the last day as we all piled onto the bus in Salisbury (or Bath? I can’t remember), the professors went to the front to warn us that we wouldn’t be making any stops unless absolutely necessary.  We’re headed to Heathrow to drop off anyone flying off the same day, then back to Cambridge.

“All right, it’s going to be a long bus ride, so make sure you’re prepared for that.”

We all brace ourselves.  A long bus ride?  How long?  We’re Americans; a long bus ride for us is a minimum of six hours with the double digits perfectly plausible.  We can handle a twelve hour bus ride as long as we get a bathroom break.

The answer.  “Two hours.”

Oh.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

English people trying to travel around Australia and wildly underestimating distance are my favourite thing

[marzipanandminutiae]

a tour guide in France told my school group that a particular cathedral wouldn’t interest us much because “it’s not very old; only from the early 1600s”

to which we had to respond that it was still older than the oldest surviving European-style buildings in our country

[iguana-sneeze]

China is both old and big. I had some Chinese colleagues over; we were discussing whether they wanted to see the Vasa ship (hugely expensive war ship which sank on it’s maiden voyage after 12 min). They asked if it was old, I said “not THAT old” (bearing in mind they were Chinese) “it’s from the 1500s.” To my surprise they still looked impressed, nodding enthusiatically. Then I realised I’d forgotten something: “…I mean it’s from the 1500s AFTER the birth of Christ” and they went “oh, AFTER…”.

[ceescedasticity]

My dad’s favorite quote from various tours in Italy was “Pay no attention to the tower – it was a [scornful tone] tenth century addition.”

[abd-illustrates]

👻 DDADDS - Monster AU 👻

Welcome to Maple Bay!

This is probably definitely something that’s been done before, but what can I say? All Robert’s talk of cryptids made me wanna draw some monster Dads.

–SPEEDPAINT FOR THESE DRAWINGS–

(DON’T REPOST TO OTHER SITES)  //  MORE ART ON MY DA (<-link in my blog header)

[lastdjnosaurs]

tell me this isn’t the cutest thing I’ve ever seen

[peachyfrostslave]

I just… That’s the Egyptian Prince from Night At The Museum and Jasper from Twilight and its a little gay and I just ugh I love it

[momoiroinkremade]

@space-robot ellia and chell talking

[officialdwightschrute]

[tyleroakley]

if this ain’t me