âMY WRITING SOUNDS CHOPPYâ
the part of writing academic essays i really struggle with is making them flow. i always feel like my essays sound somewhat âclunkyâ, and iâve been researching ways to correct this. whilst recently reading barbara fine clouseâs book, 265 troubleshooting strategies for writing nonfiction, i came across a chapter on this very subject, and so far it has been unbelievably helpful so i thought it would be a good idea to share it. iâve listed all the pointers she gives below, however, i have adapted the examples using finnegans wake as i was trying to test it out for myself.
use difference sentence openersâopen with a descriptive word:
âunusually, the diagram is constructed out of four points, rather than three. This introducesâŠâ
âcuriously, Joyce uses multilingual puns to create an imageâŠâ
âinterestingly, the interplay between the family adds to a feeling of âŠâ
open with a descriptive phrase:
âdespite my better judgement, it seems thatâ
âalthough the chapter appears frivolous and nonsensical, it is in factâ
open with a subordinate clause: (a dependent word group with a subject and verb):
âwhen joyce first wrote the opening chapter of finnegans wakeâ
âwhen the children are first participating in the ânight lessonâ
âbefore the parents enter the equation, the children appear to beâ
âif the chapter takes the form of a lectureâŠâ
open with to and the verb:
âto argue my point convincingly, we must examine Platoâs theory of the caveâ
âto gain an insight into shemâs destructive nature, we should analyseâŠ.â
âshemâs destructive persona is revealed throughout the text usingâŠâ
âjoyce approaches metaphysics through vicoâs new scienceâ
âthe diagram is formed of two circles and a triangle, echoingâŠâ
vary the placement of transitions:
âin addition, joyce seems to be using metaphysics as a means ofâ
âshaunâs appearance, on the other hand, is calm and collected, taking on a serious persona as..â
âthe night lessonâs use of education as a tool for understanding metaphysics is, to some extent, reasonable, howeverâŠâ
use one of these words: and, because, but, for, nor, or, so, yet
short sentences (choppy): finnegans wake is ambiguous.
combined: finnegans wake is ambiguous, but its complex style leaves room for interpretation.
follow long sentences with shorter ones and short sentences with longer ones:
âshem embodies the figure of vico. although he frequently switches place with shaun, he appears to maintain a crazed persona throughout the chapter.
âshemâs crazed persona appears to embody the traits of vicoâs âfirst universalsâ, for he appears to be driven by his senses with little understanding of reason. this forms the chapterâs complex structure.
use parallel construction:
not parallel: âshaun is quick-witted, sharp and he is intelligent.
parallel: shaun is quick-witted, sharp and intelligent.
(barbara fine clouse, 265 troubleshooting strategies for writing nonfiction (pp. 99-102).
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