Negative, I am a meat popsicle

Laina / 27 / big ol fucko check out my art blog @fraulainart ❤️

[charlataninred]

Love how tumblr has its own folk stories. Yeah the God of Arepo we’ve all heard the story and we all still cry about it. Yeah that one about the woman locked up for centuries finally getting free. That one about the witch who would marry anyone who could get her house key from her cat and it’s revealed she IS the cat after the narrator befriends the cat.

[meraarts]

Might I add:

The defeat of the wizard who made people choose how they’d be to be executed

The woman who raised the changeling alongside her biological child

The human who died of radiation poisoning after repairing the spaceship

[eater-of-hopes-and-dreams]

The adventures of a space roomba

Cinderella finding Araura (and falling in love)

I don’t know a snappy description but the my nemesis cynthia story certainly lives in my head

[blitzlowin]

hilariously, these are almost all in my fic tag. so, a compiled list from the notes (and some extras):

The God of Arepo (graphic novel 1 / 2 / 3) (ebook)

The Monster of Sentan

The Witch’s Cat

Raise Both Children

Stabby the Roomba (honorable mention)

Cinderella Marries the Prince (comic)

My Arch Nemesis Cynthia

Pirates and Mermaid

Eindred and the Witch

The Demon King

The Cornerwitch

Grandmother Beetroot

Apocalypse Daycare Worker

Grandmother Accidentally Summons a Demon

New Year Saga

A Story About Changelings

Ranger in the King’s Forest

The Difference Between a Hare and a Rabbit

Goblin Men (Canines)

[charlataninred]

I am in love with you /p

[inkvoices]

Adding Faceblind Prince Charming and Cinderella

[inkvoices]

21. The human who died of radiation poisoning after repairing the spaceship

22. The defeat of the wizard who made people choose how they’d be to be executed

[lightningladybug]

adding the Doctors Without Borders one

[inkvoices]

I LOVE tumblr storytime, so here’s a bunch more your weekend reading. Enjoy!

24. The Queen with Three Cursed Children

25. Tiny Dragon with one coin hoard

26. Haunted house

27. Shark hero was about to go rogue

28. Grandma lives in the woods comic

29. A Different Aftermath comic

30. Battery (microstory but I love it so much)

31. It’s A Date comic

32. Supervillian kidnaps rival’s kid and they want to stay

33. Narrative Town

34. I have been hired to clean the wizard tower comic

35. Robot Apocalypse

36. The Statues That Do Not Weather

37. Kushiel

38. Tooth Fairy

39. Alien abduction

40. Felonious wish-granting

41. When humans met actual space orcs

42. Space cousins

[theatrical-penguin]

Does anyone know where to find the one with the Antichrist raised by loving mother and their family has been raising antichrists so they turn out good for generations?

[inkvoices]

Okay, the one about raising the Antichrist and a bunch more, because tumblr storytime is brilliant:

43. Raising the Antichrist 44. Hallmark Movie Bad Guys 44. the Rapture comic 45. The Stone of Possibility 46. Humans are space orcs - Jurassic Park edition 47. Messenger birds for Hades and Persephone 48. when the pots of honey showed up 49. rock paper scissors wizards 50. Drake McDougal who saved a ship 51. Alien invasion vs Earth wildlife 52. Pride Knights 53. raising a dragon on a farm 54. Unaligned Supers Job Placement Agency 55. Pirates raised a mermaid 56. Alien Invasion vs Old Gods 57. the fae who asked for a name

[inkvoices]

For the list-loving tumblr storytime folks:

58. The Forgotten God

59. The King prophesied to defeat evil

60. Ugly Mary

61. Where is my pilot?

62. Boredom is a dangerous thing to a human

63. Antler Guy and Neighbour Steve

64. Be not scared, my child comic

65. The scorpian and the frog (extended edition)

66. Mystery door comic

67. Born cursed comic

68. Gnome world

69. Moon’s stuck in a time loop (from: moon’s haunted)

70. A changeling comic - Mary

71. The roommate who’s bad at pretending to be human

72. Oracle

73. Mediocre superpower

74. The counter above people’s heads

75. Lonomia and names comic

76. The pool at the heart of the forest comic

77. The goblin, the orc, and the overlord

78. Human in a crew of long-lived aliens

79. Punching zeus in the face

80. Earth is the space Amazon rainforest

81. Someone under the bed

82. The lady who makes prosthetics comic

83. Villains make a wish

84. Toad Words

85. The mark of a god (Priest of Arepo)

86. I know i’ve kissed you before, but comic

87. Intelligent war machines

88. Minor villain

89. Portrait artist

90. Hero of the valley comic

Plus:

an updated link for humans are unstoppable thanks to @genius11rare

another witch’s cat comic thanks to an ask from @mrsq8geek

[eldritchgriffin]

91. Adding Opiess, the dragon who adopted an office building’s workers

[babbling-babull]

92. 21:17

93. Lies

[babbling-babull]

94. The fake Protagonists

[crow--brain]

It’s new, but I would like to add it.

95. Bronze Age of the Rabbit Warren

[maskysgirlfriendmoved-deactivat]

yall gotta be nicer about m/f  bc sometimes u guys like the blandest gay sutff ive ever seen in my life

[maskysgirlfriendmoved-deactivat]

gonna add onto this you all gotta stop acting like m/f is just cishet when bisexual people exist and straight trans people exist.

[maskysgirlfriendmoved-deactivat]

last add on alot of m/f ships of poc or white/poc ship are constantly downplayed for bland white m/m or f/f ships

[majorpepperidge]

#also sometimes u guys r just fuckig misogynist. abt the women in m/f ships. sorry

[just-another-cat-blog]

pride month!!!

[lemonsharks]

Is that a miette?

[jeanjauthor]

Pride for you!  Pride for a thousand years!!

[lost-and-cursed]

you COME OUT to miette? you come out to her as queer? oh! oh! pride for mother! pride for mother for One Thousand Years!!!!

[sabrebash]

I have to draw a lot of gold and metal for my work, but wasn't happy with any of the metal tutorials i could find around. I prefer really specific instruction, so after some research i put together what i think works as a generalist's guide/tutorial. Not perfectly accurate, but i hope it's helpful!

[kurhanchyk]

i think they should allow everyone in the world to vote in american elections

[anthonybourdyke]

[despazito]

I don't have time for tumblr discourse they're calling the very hungry caterpillar degenerate art over on twitter

[despazito]

good art is when something looks like real life, the more real it looks the more better the art. abstracted figures give my trad children nightmares, one time they were exposed to cubism and couldn't go outside for a week

[dogpuppy]

[dogpuppy]

[everythingfox]

He’s having a pedicure

[beemovieerotica]

[roycohn]

i wish you guys could hear the noises i'm making. what the fuck is that thang

[garaks-padded-bra]

Weewees beautiful life

[garaks-padded-bra]

Love her or Hate her she smelt that thing. Weewees beautiful life.

[transmascmarypoppins]

why is this post completely broken in every way imaginable

[cecilsrandomeverything]

Broken notes… deactivated account… removed image….

Finally, we have them all.

[spacefinch]

In addition: OP’s name is just… gone. No “[insert username]-deactivated[insert a bunch of numbers]” as is the standard for deactivated blogs.

Just the world “deactivated.” Look upon their post, ye mighty, and despair.

[chatblancofficial]

It’ll be almost impossible to find this post unless it wanders across your dash.

[huewrite]

It wandered across mine. I shall help it travel forward.

[gossamermouse]

this is not a place of honor

[jackviator]

[dinosaurana]

Oh hey post of Ozymandius, good to see you again standing on your feet in a desert where no one remembers you

[tj-crochets]

My grandma just called and, among other things, said “You have hips. That’s good! Men like hips!” and then she interrupted herself to say “Women like hips. People of your preferred gender like hips. I can never remember”  And I was like “Thanks grandma! My preferred gender is none of them, no thanks.” and she was like “Okay, no one will comment on your hips!” very self satisfied, like “aha, I have figured it out” I think like half her grandkids are some variety of not-straight and she can’t always remember which is which but she is the epitome of like “she’s a little confused, but she’s got the spirit!”

[tj-crochets]

Update: I gave it some thought and my estimate was wrong. Of the grandkids that are out, it’s 1/3, not ½

[tj-crochets]

I told my grandma that I’d told my friends about what she said and that some of y’all had said you wished she was your grandma, and she said “Well, you can never have too many grandkids!”  So like…consider her your honorary grandma* I guess? *if you want an honorary grandma, that is

[tj-crochets]

Update on my grandma: I told her my hair was standing up, but instead of straight line it was diagonal and she said “That’s okay, you’ve never been straight!” and then laughed so hard at her own joke I thought she was going to drop the phone

[tj-crochets]

Happy almost pride month! Have my confused-but-supportive grandma!

[tj-crochets]

An update: my grandma just called me to ask if I knew it was pride month

[tj-crochets]

Happy pride month!!

[wrigglewormz]

I'm perfectly fine with people criticizing my favorite stories and frequently do it myself but can you stop being so boring about it

[wrigglewormz]

"This scene made me so uncomfortable" given the subject matter, it would be really, really badly written if it wasn't.

[vsingers]

new favorite tweet

[moonybear]

op i hope you know about the guy on r/kitchenconfidential

[chumbyy]

[bugshroom]

there should be a pill you can take one time that will shrivel up your uterus and abort it through one last horrible period