Agent Florida

Pleased As Punch To Be Here

[strawberrylind]

bad and naughty symbiotes get put in the salad spinner

[aspertiaoutlook]

[pixelartpeach]

[radarsmenagerie]

[iraffiruse]

[pkthunda-blog]

i think this may just be the greatest string of tweets in the history of mankind

[grawly]

TO BE COMPLETELY HONEST I REMEMBER EVERYTHING BUT READING THESE TWEETS AGAIN AFTER SO MANY MONTHS IT ALMOST FEELS SURREAL LIKE “I CANT BELIEVE THIS PERSON IS ME”

[cottoncanyon-deactivated2018012]

Reblog if it’s ok for people to give you $599.99

[cannibalchicken]

[soapthatglows-deactivated202407]

[captainsnoop-deactivated2020041]

i hate it when game devs put “fixed several issues” in patch notes 

no. tell me what you fixed. i wanna know what the glitch was.

you know those patch notes that are like “fixed an issue where if the player sat in a bush for too long, they’d become the size of a skyscraper” 

i wanna read those. tell me those. 

[necroesque666]

[sindri42]

[sindri42]

[ahdok]

Adjusted value of Bees. Now that was a special one… because every item in the game had a minimum value, and a beehive was a container for bees, which each had a minimum value… which meant the moment one of your dwarves picked up a beehive, your entire fortress’ net worth skyrocketed… a value used in determining how powerful the foes that visit and try to murder you are.

[prokopetz]

Reblogging for the explanation of what “adjusted value of bees” actually means, because I know several folks following this blog have been wondering.

[probabilitydirigible]

Okay but you’ve all forgotten the best Dwarf Fortress bug of all “Flying creatures give birth in midair, leading to tragedy” 

[probabilitydirigible]

Actually I lied it’s the one where after a major update werewolves and vampires started climbing the nearest tree and refusing to come down. It turned out that he’d given evil creatures the ability to sense each other, but forgotten to set a maximum range on it, so werewolves were aware Hell was underground and trying to flee by climbing 

[thepageofhopes]

This has to be my favorite patch note ever

[grawly]

Open World Game Design Document

?????

999 little freaks

[thelittledaily-deactivated20260]

REBLOG THIS TO GIVE THE PERSON YOU REBLOGGED THIS FROM A GOLD STAR BECAUSE THEY’VE BEEN STELLAR TODAY AND THEY DESERVE IT ⭐️

[enchantingruinscandy]

Putting powdered sugar on the post below

[just-shower-thoughts]

Every single odd number has an “e” in it.

[catchymemes]

[meangirlnurse]

today Meatball abruptly realized that there are refugee office plants in the kitchen (they have been there for weeks) and has decided his singular purpose in life is to eat them 

[meangirlnurse]

we put up a 4 foot tall step-through baby gate when we brought the plants home, but it turns out he can actually squeeze his body through the bars. not in a dignified way, mind you. but he can 

[meangirlnurse]

we have foiled him with a two-gate system: a short one with small openings that he can’t squeeze through, and the tall one that he can’t jump over. he is now sitting outside our kitchen door rattling the gates with his stupid little mitten hands like an animated ghost prisoner in a Spirit Halloween decoration 

[crafty-butch]

update: we underestimated him

[crafty-butch]

[meangirlnurse]

why are your doors closed to the public 

[evil-dad-evil]

is this the same Meatball with the Hanukkah sweater????

[meangirlnurse]

it sure is 

you may also know him as the Meatball who tried to jump into my toilet and the violent sweatervest-wearing accountant cat 

[numberlover1729]

tiny accountant harasses human, eats plants

[meangirlnurse]

i mean he has to find some way to unwind from his high-pressure job 

[meangirlnurse]

update:

[the-one-the-only-derpghost]

So how do you guys… get in there anymore?

[meangirlnurse]

well my original game plan was opening the white gate and kind of shoving my body through the gap between the wood gate and the grey gate and i am excited to announce that this was not a good idea at all

[meangirlnurse]

update: was woken up at 7 AM this morning by Meatball repeatedly taking a running leap at the gates, bouncing off the top one, and then sitting on the floor outside the kitchen beeping confusedly 

[meangirlnurse]

HOW

[crafty-butch]

[meangirlnurse]

this is our current game plan. stay tuned

[imhereformysciencefriends]

please continue to give us updates this is the funniest post on this site

[heckn-cucumbers-man]

[cross-country-suggestions]

that’s when you run cross country

[heckn-cucumbers-man]

make your own post

[cross-country-suggestions]

ok

[catchymemes]

[lokis-little-kitten]

This should be the new M&M commercial!

[gamescantsleep]

Micheal (internally): the fuck am I supposed to do with that?

The Final Level - Play Pals - Super Bunny Man (#13)

[foxhounders-deactivated20160813]

my friend left her window open in her bedroom and came back to find this

look at his self-satisfied little face, the cheeky shit

motherfucking australia

[kyla-hunt-blog]

if there was a post to describe australia, this is it

[soloontherocks-moving-refol-blog]

wait. 

you mean to tell me this isn’t even a pet bird?

that in australia, you have wild birds that just fly from house to house with the express purpose of fucking shit up?

fucking HELL australia, what is wrong with you?

[aryeastark]

wake up australia 

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

That’s what birds do

They fly around and fuck shit up

Do you have some kind of mysterious nice birds in your weird foreign country

Do birds in America and England fly into your house and make the bed and tidy up the living room a little bit

[crispybiscuitfinger]

It’s cold here, so they just bounce off the windows and lie there and twitch spasmodically while you look for the shovel.

[happyvegetable]

Basically hurling themselves at windows is the worst thing birds do

[cryforce]

yeah man a kookaburra literally flew into a classroom at my high school and just sat his smug ass down on top of the desk for a good 20 minutes

[millshouse-deactivated20140425]

why has nobody mentioned the fact that in australia there are 3-4 months a year where everybody just accepts that they’re going to get attacked by magpies. It is literally called “swooping season” and these birds will fly down to peck your fucking face, and people get their eyes ripped out and shit, it’s fucking brutal.

[sociopathicitaliangrandmas-deac]

My teacher had to go to hospital and have surgery because of swooping season. It was in the parking lot of school and all the kids would do a mad dash towards the car as the magpies tried to kill us.

[casey-jane-lewis]

no but when you’re 12 years old and riding your bike like mad on the way home from school with an icecream bucket on your head with like branches and shit sticking out if it to scare them off and none of this is considered strange

[theacademyish-deactivated201708]

what the actual fuck australia 

[priscellie]

I am pretty sure all of these Australia stories are a massive, globally-spanning trolling effort, and only the people who have visited the country are allowed to be in on the joke.

[seananmcguire]

Nope.

Went there.

Parrots tried to take our car.

Came home IN A FUCKING HURRY.

[elidyce]

Interesting thing about magpies - they’re not great at identifying individual humans visually, but if you make yourself identifiable in some way they’re usually open to reason. We used to have some very aggressive swoopers in our back yard - as soon as they realised that the humans *inside* the fence never bothered them and were the source of the delicious compost heap, they turned into flying black and white guard dogs who would viciously assault any passing stranger but never bothered anyone inside the yard. Several times they swooped at us when we approached from outside, then when we walked into the yard they would pull up and act incredibly apologetic like sorry ma’am I had no idea it was you I would never please don’t stop stocking the food pile.

There was another little group of magpies in the park who would attack any solo pedestrian but never bothered anyone walking a dog or pushing a pram, because apparently those were identifiable traits indicating a non-threatening human. In the spirit of inquiry, I started going out of my way to be polite to the magpies - carefully walking a wide arc around them when they were on the ground, etc - and emitting an identifiable call of ‘hello birdie’ before swooping season started. 

I spent the next ten years crossing that park at least once a day and as long as I turned at the first flutter of wings and said ‘hello birdie’ to the magpie waiting to attack as soon as my back was turned, I was fine. Every time, the magpie would stare at me for a minute and then fly off to harass some other pedestrian because apparently the magpies and I, we were cool. 

Parrots are a lot less open to negotiation, and the little bastards travel in flocks. Beware the parrots. 

[angstriddentrashhuman]

Australia: the only country where it is necessary to sign a peace treaty with the birds in order to stay unmangled.

[zornsable]

They did lose the Emu War, after all.

[scorpio-skies]

@eluvisen