You'd Be Surprised How Many Jesuses We Get

Sophie, 21,any organisational system you see here is completely imagined.

[eggsaladstain]

god bless the producers of worst cooks

[mysharona1987]

[glixbitch]

Facebook: we analysed your entire internet history, tracked your location and took a deep dive into your personal relationships, and we’ve decided to recommend you this specific conditioner that you also saw in your local Tesco two days ago, aint that neat!

Tumblr: HEY sHITHEAD *slurring words* how would you like to buy  *throws dart* a gym membership for your *spins wheel* pARROT

[idezwitch]

and i oop-

[whatevercomestomymind]

Boost this. Malicious fucking compliance y'all. Tie up their legal system with tens of thousands of cases. Burn their state government’s cash on this issue. Force them to play by the Nth degree of this idiotic rule.

[adurot]

[stormcloudquill]

This is exactly my argument against this whole thing

[celestial-hag-deactivated202101]

[paxamericana]

[vokodon]

“I hate to kill her but she sucks,” is a fucking brutal line.

[butleroftoast]

The Discworld is a series of books about satirical fantasy, mocking the absurdity of the genre and taking it to extremes. It’s a series of books about surreal humour and lame puns. It’s a series of books about cartoonish characters in ludicrous situations.

It’s also a series of books about hope in the darkest times. It’s a series of books about how bizarre and counter-intuitive our own reality is. It’s a series of books about real people trying to live their life in spite of everything the world throws at them. It’s a series of books about doing the right thing, no matter how difficult or pointless it may seem.

And you know what? Even the puns are important. Because the power of words is the heart of the Discworld, solving conflict and bringing people together. Because we can always look at old concepts in new ways. Because we should never take anything too seriously.

Truth! Justice! Freedom! Reasonably priced love! And a hard-boiled egg!

[skarchomp]

I’d like the Lopunny line a lot more if Gamefreak ever played up the fact that Buneary is the one Pokemon that fucking hates your guts from day one

[tathracyn]

Apparently this isn’t quite accurate. Buneary is not the only pokemon with that distinction. However, it is the only non-legendary on the list. 

Buneary hates you with the strength of imprisoned gods

[meangirlnurse]

#rabbits are just like that

[ohshitsomeonejust]

Buneary freshly caught sitting in it’s pokeball

[dankmemecentral1]

I can’t believe this is real!

[tiny-moss-patch]

I knew this would happen when I first heard of this

[memes-to-show-my-therapist]

[emotionalempowerer-blog]

Seriously. What on earth could a 3 yr old do to “warrant” a gun to the chest???

[aspiringwarriorlibrarian]

Apparently they were in the process of arresting her mother (whom they beat while handcuffed, naturally), also pointed the gun at the head of the child’s grandmother, and pointed the gun at her when she did what any toddler would do and started wailing. The incident gave her one of the worst cases of child PTSD the expert they assigned has ever seen and she’ll need therapy well into her adult years. 

Anyone with even a passing knowledge of gun safety knows that you do not point a gun at anyone you are not willing to kill. So best case scenario these officers were grossly incompetent and worst case they were willing to kill a child for crying. This settlement is the least they deserve.

[siacherry]

^^^^ reblogging for the extra info

[amygdalae]

If we’re mutuals you can ALWAYS float screaming through the halls of my home like a wraith

[mellebellemethod]

It happens this year folks…

[gattomeows]

[super-metroid]

[maculategiraffe]

me, reaching into my dresser drawer for black pants: I hope this isn’t the pair with big holes worn in the inner thighs

Marie Kondo, gently over my shoulder: why is a pair of pants you find unwearable still in your dresser drawer

me: oh shit that’s right!! The dresser is for clothes that under some circumstance I might conceivably wear!!

Marie Kondo, beaming proudly: Yes, that’s correct!! These pants must have been your favorites. How wonderful that they were so comfortable and practical that you wore them out. But now since they no longer function as pants, you should move them from the drawer where you keep your functioning pants!

me: Yes thanks I got it they’re in the fabric basket now

Marie Kondo, fading back into the darkness: I love what you’ve done with the kitchen!!

[cwicseolfor]

The notion of KonMari as some creepy semi-embodied but entirely benevolent spirit, like a well-intentioned Bloody Mary, is so perfect and wonderful.

[essoreese]

Marie Kondo has the same powers but the exact opposite energy of the Duolingo Owl.

[strangelyregular]

YES.

Marie Kondo: Your room isn’t very clean, but that’s okay, I love mess! Does this spark joy?

Duolingo Owl: I wrote the ransom note in Spanish, and if you have to use Google Translate to read it, your kid gets it. You broke your streak. I’ll break your neck.

[ace-pervert]

Marie Kondo holding your child, while standing on the remains of the Duolingo Owl : The Bird did not spark joy

[shoppingstars]

okay, here is a thing: some people that suffered from abuse can’t remember every detail about it and sometimes they will remember it gradually during their life. if they tell you different stories about the same thing, don’t just judge them. if they tell you they forgot about things, trust them. if they tell you they just remembered something about the abuse, trust them.

[theconcealedweapon]

If someone remembered every detail about their abuse at all times, they’d be under a dangerous amount of stress. People would also judge them for always being negative.

[kingjasnah]

in terms of compartmentalization Adolin is like, smack in the middle of Shallan ‘time to forget whole years of my life’ Davar and Kaladin ‘please god my depression is getting worse no matter what and i see my dead brother everywhere’ Stormblessed

[kingjasnah]

Like Adolin straight up kills someone? He’s like ok we’ll deal with this later and keeps putting it off but does eventually come clean to at least some people. He sees that Shallan made him an illusion windrunner when he thinks she’s in love with Kal and is like woooooowwwwwwwwww okay not gonna deal with THAT rn but literally confronts it by the end of the novel we love ONE bitch who can process emotions