Yet more thoughts on being an 8w7
I’m going to be focusing by and large on enneagram at present since it is more pertinent to my personality than my MBTI type in many regards. Bear with me, as I’ve been drinking.Â
ENTJ Paradigm made salient remarks on what it is like to be an 8w7. I was having a similar discussion earlier with a friend. Ah, moonlight sonata. This speaks to a realm of my soul.Â
So I was discussing the matter of opening up to people, or rather, not. I don’t withhold information intentionally. In fact, it is only when I open up that I realize I have not been doing so. Opening up is delicious in that it happens so rarely, and I only open up to people I feel can understand where I’m coming from, but it is entirely indulgent. It feels like how I imagine doing heroin would. It feels so good but my insides and rationale are screaming to stop, what are you doing, this is harmful.
Suddenly, my insides are exposed. I have no real strategy for dealing with how people could use the information against me or to hurt me - frequently, the strategy is divulge nothing at all. Once I start divulging, it is as pure and honest of emotion and thought as you will get from anyone.Â
The general solution is apathy. I am either apathetic, broken, or enraged. Not a very good trio to choose from, as I’ve found, and one of my primary goals is finding balance. It’s taken immense self reflection.Â
8w7′s are incredibly broken, usually. Troubled, traumatic childhoods are the norm. Authority figures abused us in some manner, or abused their power, and we took matters into our own hands. We are taught, by experience, that when we are in control things work out better.Â
I am not physically dominating as an 8w7, though I have been told I have a very powerful presence and I command attention. I can be incredibly controlling in bed, but that is usually a psychological game for me to get others to confront who they are. In a sense, that is me being psychologically controlling. Perhaps that is what I want done to me – someone or something to productively tear me from the inside out. Key word being productively.Â
I control others’ perceptions of me unintentionally. It is easy to read what people will approve or disapprove of in me. I think I do whatever and say whatever I want, but the truth is, I know just how far I can go, intuitively. The most important perception is that I am not a person to be fucked with and I command - demand - respect. I am a very respectful person in many regards and expect the same treatment.Â
My brain is at all times assessing other peoples’ motivations. I frequently gamble on these, when perhaps I shouldn’t. My strategy is to withhold certain aspects if I am uncertain of who they are or what they want. I usually hold people at arm’s length.Â
For anyone infatuated with an 8w7, I wish you luck. The only people who can get truly close to me, in a manner that I consider “close” requires them to hear my deepest thoughts on experiences, and to share that emotion. It isn’t a simple sharing. It is wrought with tests. The farther you get, the more intense the testing gets. You can say, “oh, I know they test! Now I know what to watch out for.” I’m sorry, but you are mistaken. There is a large degree of reactive, emotional intuition that goes into our actions. It will very likely hurt you, a lot. In what manner, I cannot say, as all 8w7′s are different.Â
Remember, you are getting to a part that is far more sensitive than probably any being you will ever meet. This is a core of pain, anger, frustration, betrayal - at least in my case. It is temperamental, moody, and uncertain. We recognize ourselves in this capacity, but it is hard to accept.Â