All Humans Welcome.

28. Mama. Girlfriend. Travel Enthusiast. Engineer. Dumbass.

[cannibalchicken]

[sobbing-space-trash]

How I feel everytime I have to be a customer

[catchymemes]

[adelphicoracle]

Have you guys seen all the Twitter apocalypse posts. It’s all Titanic sinking gifs and this:

[toadcroaky]

[sodomymcscurvylegs]

[skittyminecraft]

x

[arabella-ardor]

[faggotjonesss]

[fartfartlbalahaahahahaahaha]

[anotherpapercut]

apparently my boss who is a professor at my school doesn’t have a cell phone and his coworkers were upset by this so they bought him a childs toy phone and labeled it “David’s jitterbug” (for those of you that don’t know jitterbugs are phones made for old people that have like massive buttons and shit) so the other day I walked into his office to ask him a question and he pressed a button on it which made it start loudly playing the ABCs and he said “excuse me I have to take this” and then started singing along to the ABCs while shooing me out of his office

[anotherpapercut]

this is the phone. he apparently was in the middle of a meeting with the department the other day and got annoyed so he pressed a button, said “I have to take this” and left

[beka-tiddalik]

David’s co-workers probably: “This is a valid tactic to embarrass him into buying a mobile phone, right?”

David: “Bold of you to assume that I get embarrassed.”

[memewhore]

[unorthodoxchronicles]

God hes good at pretending to be oblivious then bringing it back around. We stan a legend

[miiriya]

[death-hangs-deactivated20181023]

this is so fucking shallow and gross

[woalwayshenlei-deactivated20190]

Wanting to know how someone views the world and certain groups of people == shallow?

[concerao]

Laughed so hard at this

[cliquesx]

OH FUCK! SHIT HAD ME WEAK!!! 😂😂😂😂

[itsbroham]

I am on the FUCKING floor

[punkconcert]

John Mulaney, a true ADHD icon

[somewhat-honest-abe]

I love how he gave this bit at an autism benefit because it is also a heavy Autism Mood™

[gh0sthoodie]

This is the most relatable thing I’ve ever seen.

[untitled4022]

Omg

[sixpenceee]

Portal Icosahedron by Anthony James 

[musingsofarestlessmind]

WHAT IS THIS SORCERY I COULD LOOK AT THIS ALLLLL DAY!!!!!

[nightphoenix10]

One-way windows between the struts, so that the viewer looking in can see the lights on the struts reflect endlessly on the interior mirror film.

[xspacepaganx]

Ugh yes. Fuck me up.

[kendallroynsfw]

my brother’s cat was pregnant when he left for christmas break & this is what he came home to

[kendallroynsfw]

of note: my brother was always indifferent to cats, but queens has a lot of strays and one took to huddling up on his windowsill at night. he started feeding her, then started letting her in when she was cold, and now she’s his baby and he’s got 7 kittens running around his apartment. iconic.

[veronica-rich]

LOOK AT THEIR BIG EYES. FOURTEEN BIG INNOCENT EYES.

[3fluffies]

When the little faces start peeking out at him, I imagine the Dance of the Sugarplum Fairy starting up.

[gaypeopletwitter]

[amy-ackers-nose-deactivated2017]

psychic: *reads my mind*

my mind: 🎃👦BOYS AND GIRLS👧🎃OF EVERY AGE🎃🕸WOULDN’T YOU LIKE🎃⚰TO SEE 👀🎃SOMETHING STRANGE🎃🎱COME WITH US🎃🔫AND YOU WILL SEE🎃🔪THIS OUR TOWN OF🎃🔮HALLOWEEN🎃☠

psychic: what the fuck it’s august

[thatsmoderatelyraven]

This is my favorite headline ever

[valtsv]

i hate it when people ask “what’s the stupidest thing you’ve ever done?” like. awfully bold of you to assume i’ve reached peak dumbass.

[ultrafacts]

[greatnorthernofficial]

This my bebe. Bebe is bigger than me. Strong bebe

[apolloadama]

ok friends i wanted to confirm this story’s accuracy before reblogging so i googled it and yes it’s TRUE 

AND ALSO the mom cat raised the lynx baby ALONGSIDE HER KITTEN so we have all these cute pictures of the lynx cub with the kitten please look at them

^^^ FAMILY PORTRAIT

[oniongentleman]

Stop that’s fucking adorable