The Virtual Toad Choir Presents: SILENT NIGHT
Sade Olutola
occasionally subtle
almost home
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blake kathryn
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda

titsay
KIROKAZE
d e v o n
dirt enthusiast

Discoholic 🪩

祝日 / Permanent Vacation

ellievsbear
Sweet Seals For You, Always
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me

Kaledo Art
RMH

Product Placement
will byers stan first human second
i don't do bad sauce passes
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@funaroundthecorner
The Virtual Toad Choir Presents: SILENT NIGHT
Buckle up, European and Foreigner Tumblypoos, because I'm about to learn you a thing about AMERICA.
You see these delectable motherflippers? These are called STATES. You stupid foreigners might not be able to wrap your head around this, but basically they're administrative subdivisions of the country.
And here's the thing: They are totally heckin' different from each other! For instance, New York:
Looks TOTALLY DIFFERENT from Kansas:
And they both look TOTALLY different from California!
So before you make fun of an American for not knowing where tiny third-world countries like "Check Republic" or "South Korea" are, maybe think about how much we have to learn about the unique regional differences in our OWN country. Maybe you should think about AMERICA more.
i am about to bestow upon you the secret butter technique. i am sorry, but it is french. i am sorry again, this only works with cow butter. i am certain plant based butters wouldn’t work, and alternative animal butters may or may not work
has this ever been you: you have a nicely steamed vegetable, or maybe you want to make the best butter noodles, but you know that if you put butter on those it’ll just melt and you end with kind of greasy noodles or vegetables? don’t you wish it was instead a luscious buttery glaze?
introducing: beurre monté
you will take a small sauce pan, and begin heating it with 1-2 tablespoons of water (use very little water) and bring it to a hard simmer or boil
turn the heat down slightly, and add Butter. how much? however much you dare. (start with 3-4 tablespoons and go from there)
you are going to either whisk Aggressively or you can pick up the saucepan, still holding it over the heat, and swirl aggressively so the butter is skating around the sides of the pan
done correctly, you will have liquid butter that is still emulsified. you have made Butter Sauce. season it with a little salt, and toss whatever you want in it.
if you’re butter splits, i’m sorry. you didn’t agitate it enough to maintain the emulsion, and now you have melted butter.
you can use this knowledge to make other sauces by swapping out the water for another liquid. white wine becomes beurre blanc. red wine is beurre rogue.
you want to CUM? sweat minced shallot in a tiny bit of butter, add white wine and cook it out until it’s reduced by about half. then whisk butter in hard. a few flecks of minced thyme or fennel frond stirred thru, and you eat that with a nice seared fish? or scallop? or even shrimp? wow. you will Nut
your boxed mac and cheese game can also be elevated by cooking your pasta and making a beurre monté first, tossing your pasta in that and adding the cheese packet. wow. hey; you’ll cum
go forth now with this butter secret
five notes?? this is why i don’t tell you all anything
when I was around 4 and visiting my grandparents farm for the first time, I kept trying to teach the cows to say "moo"
because I'm like, cows say moo. I know this. Everyone knows this. but for some reason grandpa's cows don't know this. maybe he's been to busy to teach them (grandpa is very busy). maybe they're saying a language from a different animal, because there are a lot of animals here, but I can teach them the right language and then they'll be saying the correct cow language, which is, Moo.
anyway cut to my grandfather watching me steadily lose my shit in a beautiful springtime pasture of cattle before I just bellowed at the top of my lungs "STUPID COW! MOOOOO!" and then I punched a cow (I was 4).
#redrook lore#also I called my favorite cow Circles#because she had circles over her eyes#and one day I was like hey grandpa I can’t find Circles#also what are we having for dinner#and he was flipping burgers and just told me#those two questions have the same answer
love of my life, you can't hide this
Does anyone have the fucking tiktok video of the overly enthusiastic rich bearded guy showing off his new hiking shoes in his Mansion and the Woods, but then another dude duets with it to make it look like he's escaping from being held prisoner please please
edit THANKS @smellslikebot
Thomas Jefferson experiences dysphoria
went to a discussion led by elliot page earlier today and there were many good things said but at one point the other presenter asked him "what's a cool thing about yourself that has nothing to do with being trans?" and he said "uhh this is all I've got going for me" and then paused before adding "if anyone has three oranges, I can juggle"
The correction is killing me
i think the reason why the assassination of Julius Caesar is one of the funniest political assassinations is for this very simple reason:
1 guy stabs 1 guy: not funny. that's murder.
2 guys stab 1 guy: even less funny. that's two against one.
60 guys stab 1 guy: uproariously funny. why do you need so many guys.
60 guys say they'll stab 1 guy, but he only ends up with 23 stab wounds: peak comedy and peak relatability for group projects. what can surpass it?
My boyfriend was showing me his cat and I leaned over to kiss the cat on his soft little baby head and he went "meow" and scrambled away because I'd been wearing my headphones and I accidentally jabbed him with the microphone.
And I said "Damn, this is exactly like in the Iliad"
#explanation: this references the scene where Hektor the prince of troy goes to his wife after a battle and leans in to kiss his son #(who is still a baby and being held in andromache's arms) #but his son cringes away in fear of his father's battle helmet #it's a gut wrenching scene about how war dehumanizes you and separates you from the people you love #this interpretation implies that being a gamer is analogous
can I get a job as an editor but the only thing I do is correct when someone uses the word "prone" when they mean "supine"
thank you wikipedia for this really good image
a helpful mnemonic for everyone
too good for tags
fine i'll finish true detective
i think the fact that "to post" in spanish is the same word as "to publish" and "posts" are called "publications" really reframed the way i look at social media. i'm always publishing my publications. i'm republishing.