[image description: image of an Aardvark with grey, yellow and white in the background. Text says “Parents say they just want you to be happy and get married” at the top and “Oxymoron” at the bottom.]
Here’s an old aro meme from 2011, which was before the rise of the “Ace Discourse” around 2015 (which may have started out as backlash in response to The Trevor Project deciding to include asexual people around that time). This meme format uses an aardvark to represent aromantic people. At the time, axolotls were often used in similar memes to represent asexuals, so the aromantic aardvark was chosen as the aromantic equivalent of the asexual axolotl. Aardvarks were considered to be somewhat of a mascot for the aromantic community for some time, though they have become less popular as a symbol in recent years.
This is very headcanon-y of me compared to my usual analyses and theories, but I hope the logic will make sense ^^ Even though determining each member’s birthday is purely guesswork, I will be doing themes and such as I always do~
Of course, I’d like to know if anyone has any different opinions because I’m curious and maybe I’ve overlooked some possibilities hehe
Word count: 1000+
This will go in order of deaths:
🍧 Sorbet - January 1 (Capricorn)
Since Sorbet is the beginning of La Squadra’s plot in the story, it feels only fitting for his birthday to be on New Years. He is the inciting incident for both Gelato and La Squadra. Also, it’s sometimes a superstition that those born on January 1 are proactive and ambitious go-getters, which feels fitting for the kind of person Sorbet is.
🍨 Gelato - January 31 (Aquarius)
Because Gelato was the first body La Squadra found and his body delivered the message “castigo/punizione/punishment,” I think Gelato’s birthday marking the beginning of the end feels fitting. I also think it feels poetic for him to not be far away from Sorbet, representing the two ends of January: hope for a new beginning but also part of a cold winter.
🧀 Formaggio - April 13 (Aries)
Instead of using a cheese holiday or cheese pun, I’ve decided to base Formaggio’s birthday off of Lowell George’s birthday, one of the singers and guitarists of the band Little Feat. The reason for this was because Formaggio seems to be rather inspired from Lowell George, who was said to have “little feet” which then became the name of the band. Formaggio’s Stand is also often spelled Little Feet rather than Little Feat as well. Also, Lowell George had injured his hand from working on a model airplane, possibly inspiring the Little Feet vs Aerosmith fight, and Lowell George was the one to pass away during the band’s active and semi-active years. So I’d say he’s a pretty integral part of Formaggio’s character!
🪞 Illuso - May 1 (Taurus)
I decided to base Illuso’s birthday on spring because I think the short story Il Gatto Randagio Se Ne Va con il Vento di Primavera shows more of the core of Illuso’s character and determinazione, the symbol being spring’s representation of rebirth. Through observing Formaggio, Illuso witnesses the rebirth of La Squadra as Formaggio quickly seizes the chance to take down the Boss. Because of this, I think it’s fitting for Illuso’s birthday to be on Calendimaggio/Cantar Maggio (May Day). Also, I think it’s cute and funny, considering that some fics or posts refer to Formaggio as “Maggio” (May).
🎣 Pesci - July 18 (Cancer)
This is based on the release date of Beach Boys’ song Wouldn’t it be Nice. Pesci’s theme as a mammone who has yet to bloom feels fitting with this song’s emotion, constantly daydreaming and fantasizing what it could be like as a grown-up who has the life he wants. It comes off as childish and naive, falling short of true maturity, much like Pesci does in the Grateful Dead arc and his short story with Prosciutto Ago e Filo, il Mio Orgoglio. Naturally, this is the whole point and beauty of Pesci’s character, like a flower wishing to bloom.
🥓 Prosciutto - September 6 (Virgo)
Because Prosciutto as a character and symbol represents the classic gangster and professional hitman, I think it's only right to link him to Prosciutto di Parma, deeply rooted in tradition tracing back to 2000 years ago in Italian/Roman culinary history. Like Prosciutto the character, Prosciutto di Parma has a strict focus on quality. Not to mention, the process of curing prosciutto is a great reference to Prosciutto's aging power with Grateful Dead. It differs from year to year, but the Prosciutto di Parma Festival usually happens sometime during the first week of September for a few days. Since Prosciutto was the sixth member to die, I settled on September 6 as his birthday.
🍈 Melone - November 10 (Scorpio)
Based on Melone's Stand, a core concept of his character can be boiled down to the specific alchemy of creating and raising homunculi. While at first glance, most may notice his themes of sexuality, childbirth, and maternal guidance, but all of these themes link back to the purpose of his Stand: a cold and calculated method to create an artificial being. Because of this, I'm basing Melone's birthday on the birthday of the famous alchemist Paracelsus (who also practiced medicine and divination as we may deduce from Melone's behaviors), in which his writings held the first appearance of the word "homunculus." And to continue with the concept of alchemy, Babyface's Junior embodies both the physical (transmuting organic and inorganic matter) and spiritual (personal growth) meaning of alchemy.
🧊 Ghiaccio - November 22 (Sagittarius-Scorpio cusp)
Based on the White Album’s release date, the timing of Ghiaccio's story is a prelude to The End of La Squadra's story. Famously, the end of The Beatles was imminent during the friction of the recording of this album and could be heard in the album's music itself. I think this aspect is important to Ghiaccio's story, as it was only him and Risotto left, the White Album not even having a proper title on the cover. Ghiaccio's explosive rants reflect the high stress and intense emotions from the making of the White Album, eventually meeting his end from the heavy weight of his own Stand.
✂️ Risotto Nero - December 31 (Capricorn)
Now calling back to Sorbet's and Gelato's birthdays, December 31 is a poetic day to represent The End. While Risotto is largely characterized as Emptiness and Loneliness in Vento Aureo due to being the last survivor, he cared the most about his team and felt fulfilled by them. While his Stand manifesting inside his body could represent his emptiness, I believe it could also be interpreted to represent his connection and fulfillment by others. Similarly, New Year's Eve is one of the most celebrated holidays in the world, marked with both large gatherings of family for some folks as well as loneliness for others. These aspects of human connection and loneliness are two sides of the same coin as seen in Risotto's Stand and in New Year's Eve.
Conclusion
I really meant it when I said I’ll go in order of their deaths. Going through each season feels like going through the seasons of La Squadra’s story as a whole, starting at winter and ending at winter. It feels poetic, akin to watching a complete and satisfying movie.
Doing it this way also narrowed down some options since there are countless possibilities on how to approach theories and headcanons.
Since it's very pseudoscience and guesswork (and it's past 1 in the morning for me), I didn't really dive into their horoscopes, but all the zodiac assignments happen to feel pretty fitting based on their personalities ^^
Pesci being on a Pisces-Aries cusp does make a lot of sense to me astrologically, basing this on his personality and potential. After all, he’s literally designed to look like a fish (pisces/pesci) whose story is about a journey of self-confidence (Aries). I see the vision. Though, Cancer feels the most fitting based on his sensitive nature, which is reflected in his Stand as he can only navigate through it by touch and “Good Vibrations.” All of these readings are so valid, and astrology always has infinite possibilities since it’s often up to interpretation.
I think using the Savage Garden connection to Sorbet and Gelato is a good option too! I ended up not going for it compared to the other members and their respective musical references since Savage Garden is already a headcanon and not superr connected to the core Themes and Such, but it’s seriously a fun way to explore their characters and absolutely valid. Especiallyyy with exploring their love and connection to each other!
Sorbet’s birthday being the debut album is sooo poetic, I love it ^^
The Truly, Madly, Deeply — Ultra Rare Tracks is interesting too, I didn’t know it was a thing. I think it’s cute though since it feels like this album and the debut album are matchies like how Sorbet and Gelato can be matchies.
Also, hehe, April 14 reminded me of this song:
I think it’s kinda funny with the idea of them both being Aries in this way hehe ^^ It reminds me of these gay sheep rescued by Michael Stücke. An Aries-Aries relationship sounds so feisty… This kind of relationship dynamic can also fit them~ ^^ Though, Capricorn Sorbet and Aquarius Gelato are soooo fitting for their personalities.
This is very headcanon-y of me compared to my usual analyses and theories, but I hope the logic will make sense ^^ Even though determining each member’s birthday is purely guesswork, I will be doing themes and such as I always do~
Of course, I’d like to know if anyone has any different opinions because I’m curious and maybe I’ve overlooked some possibilities hehe
Word count: 1000+
This will go in order of deaths:
🍧 Sorbet - January 1 (Capricorn)
Since Sorbet is the beginning of La Squadra’s plot in the story, it feels only fitting for his birthday to be on New Years. He is the inciting incident for both Gelato and La Squadra. Also, it’s sometimes a superstition that those born on January 1 are proactive and ambitious go-getters, which feels fitting for the kind of person Sorbet is.
🍨 Gelato - January 31 (Aquarius)
Because Gelato was the first body La Squadra found and his body delivered the message “castigo/punizione/punishment,” I think Gelato’s birthday marking the beginning of the end feels fitting. I also think it feels poetic for him to not be far away from Sorbet, representing the two ends of January: hope for a new beginning but also part of a cold winter.
🧀 Formaggio - April 13 (Aries)
Instead of using a cheese holiday or cheese pun, I’ve decided to base Formaggio’s birthday off of Lowell George’s birthday, one of the singers and guitarists of the band Little Feat. The reason for this was because Formaggio seems to be rather inspired from Lowell George, who was said to have “little feet” which then became the name of the band. Formaggio’s Stand is also often spelled Little Feet rather than Little Feat as well. Also, Lowell George had injured his hand from working on a model airplane, possibly inspiring the Little Feet vs Aerosmith fight, and Lowell George was the one to pass away during the band’s active and semi-active years. So I’d say he’s a pretty integral part of Formaggio’s character!
🪞 Illuso - May 1 (Taurus)
I decided to base Illuso’s birthday on spring because I think the short story Il Gatto Randagio Se Ne Va con il Vento di Primavera shows more of the core of Illuso’s character and determinazione, the symbol being spring’s representation of rebirth. Through observing Formaggio, Illuso witnesses the rebirth of La Squadra as Formaggio quickly seizes the chance to take down the Boss. Because of this, I think it’s fitting for Illuso’s birthday to be on Calendimaggio/Cantar Maggio (May Day). Also, I think it’s cute and funny, considering that some fics or posts refer to Formaggio as “Maggio” (May).
🎣 Pesci - July 18 (Cancer)
This is based on the release date of Beach Boys’ song Wouldn’t it be Nice. Pesci’s theme as a mammone who has yet to bloom feels fitting with this song’s emotion, constantly daydreaming and fantasizing what it could be like as a grown-up who has the life he wants. It comes off as childish and naive, falling short of true maturity, much like Pesci does in the Grateful Dead arc and his short story with Prosciutto Ago e Filo, il Mio Orgoglio. Naturally, this is the whole point and beauty of Pesci’s character, like a flower wishing to bloom.
🥓 Prosciutto - September 6 (Virgo)
Because Prosciutto as a character and symbol represents the classic gangster and professional hitman, I think it's only right to link him to Prosciutto di Parma, deeply rooted in tradition tracing back to 2000 years ago in Italian/Roman culinary history. Like Prosciutto the character, Prosciutto di Parma has a strict focus on quality. Not to mention, the process of curing prosciutto is a great reference to Prosciutto's aging power with Grateful Dead. It differs from year to year, but the Prosciutto di Parma Festival usually happens sometime during the first week of September for a few days. Since Prosciutto was the sixth member to die, I settled on September 6 as his birthday.
🍈 Melone - November 10 (Scorpio)
Based on Melone's Stand, a core concept of his character can be boiled down to the specific alchemy of creating and raising homunculi. While at first glance, most may notice his themes of sexuality, childbirth, and maternal guidance, but all of these themes link back to the purpose of his Stand: a cold and calculated method to create an artificial being. Because of this, I'm basing Melone's birthday on the birthday of the famous alchemist Paracelsus (who also practiced medicine and divination as we may deduce from Melone's behaviors), in which his writings held the first appearance of the word "homunculus." And to continue with the concept of alchemy, Babyface's Junior embodies both the physical (transmuting organic and inorganic matter) and spiritual (personal growth) meaning of alchemy.
🧊 Ghiaccio - November 22 (Sagittarius-Scorpio cusp)
Based on the White Album’s release date, the timing of Ghiaccio's story is a prelude to The End of La Squadra's story. Famously, the end of The Beatles was imminent during the friction of the recording of this album and could be heard in the album's music itself. I think this aspect is important to Ghiaccio's story, as it was only him and Risotto left, the White Album not even having a proper title on the cover. Ghiaccio's explosive rants reflect the high stress and intense emotions from the making of the White Album, eventually meeting his end from the heavy weight of his own Stand.
✂️ Risotto Nero - December 31 (Capricorn)
Now calling back to Sorbet's and Gelato's birthdays, December 31 is a poetic day to represent The End. While Risotto is largely characterized as Emptiness and Loneliness in Vento Aureo due to being the last survivor, he cared the most about his team and felt fulfilled by them. While his Stand manifesting inside his body could represent his emptiness, I believe it could also be interpreted to represent his connection and fulfillment by others. Similarly, New Year's Eve is one of the most celebrated holidays in the world, marked with both large gatherings of family for some folks as well as loneliness for others. These aspects of human connection and loneliness are two sides of the same coin as seen in Risotto's Stand and in New Year's Eve.
Conclusion
I really meant it when I said I’ll go in order of their deaths. Going through each season feels like going through the seasons of La Squadra’s story as a whole, starting at winter and ending at winter. It feels poetic, akin to watching a complete and satisfying movie.
Doing it this way also narrowed down some options since there are countless possibilities on how to approach theories and headcanons.
Since it's very pseudoscience and guesswork (and it's past 1 in the morning for me), I didn't really dive into their horoscopes, but all the zodiac assignments happen to feel pretty fitting based on their personalities ^^
By the way, if you're ever thinking "I want to draw, but I'll never be good enough" I encourage you to draw. I know how frustrating it can be to look out there and compare yourself to others, but understand that if it brings you joy, you should try anyway.
Online, you are exposed to a lot of people, especially people who are especially skilled in what they do. This doesn't mean they started out like that, a majority of artists started out the same as everyone else: Just drawing because they felt like it. Not only are there a lot of people out there who are experienced in drawing, but there are also a lot of people who are learning and getting into it (and every artist learns as they go!), just like you. What matters most out of it if it's making you happy.
Re: the last post, the article mentions that some places use clams to test the toxicity of the water. It’s like that in Warsaw- we get our water from the river, and the main water pump has 8 clams that have triggers attached to their shells. If the water gets too toxic, they close, and the triggers shut off the city water supply automatically.
The clams are just better at measuring the water quality than any man-made sensors.
Edit: check out this documentary trailer : https://vimeo.com/408820791
