I’m glad you stopped by my raunchy little slice of the gay app.
This is my indulgence. I come here for encouragement and to share the nsfw things that I find and that I create. As my guest, I hope you feel comfortable and that you enjoy your stay.
What is there to do on my humble ranch?
The Stables: Everything having to do with my OC Sable the anthro unicorn who likes to help encourage the debased, depraved desires of monsters and humans alike
The Ranch House: monsterxhuman stories. All gender pairings
The Pasture: monsterxmonster stories. All gender pairings.
The Saloon: Entertainment for all ages. No smut.
Special interests: Inflation, breast expansion, milking and lactation, fatfur, furry and anthro, breeding (but not pregnancy tbh), slime, oviposition and being an egg slut, edging, hypnosis, brain drain, inhuman genitals, size difference, powerplay, dubcon, yandere, pathetic men, robots, aliens, monsters, everything gay shit, making you cum, vore, bondage, cbt, tentacles.
Please do: send me lewds, newds, asks and fantasies. DM me for chit chats (I’m chronically online). Reblog my smut.
No thank you to UNDERAGE MINORS in all countries. DO NOT INTERACT OR I ENACT THE BAN HAMMER. Im not interested in being followed by or sent hate by anti-Black, racist, transphobic, fatphobic, or fascist tumblrinas.
If ur Black or Indegenous, queer and or furry, I follow back.
Do not Copy or reproduce my work.
Tags of interest: #furrbbyx #monster milk duds #things monster lovers think about #its a terato thing dont worry about it
There's an avalanche of favorites that I wont burden you with. But bless the women of scifi and slipstream. I don't know how I would be able to deal with this world without these stories.
It's so funny to me seeing like a kink bingo sheet and most of it is like... super normal. I'm not trying to have a Bigger Freak contest or anything like I don't think I have particularly outré kinks, but like how are you gonna have a chart that's like 80% "Boobs! Ass! Lingerie! Kissing!" and not have like, idk, snuff
I image there's a few groups of people who read this and are affected enough to have a visceral reaction so I have given you all a poll.
Santa is a cryptid
YES!
No Way!
Actually, he's a secret third thing.
Voting ended onApr 1
Now that I've given you a little enrichment, I want to introduce you to the story that should have been published 2 years ago. A Christmas love story of monster proportions. A meet cute, cocoa and caroling style. A 7 foot red elf and a Black MC.
If you know my style, you know this isn't ordinary avalon romance, but I hope you still enjoy the Prologue and the first chapter. I'm going to release the following chapters for subscription soon. Wish me luck in publishing!
Thanks for reading, Cringle Capture: Catch Santa or Fall in Love Trying.
Prologue
It is the night before Christmas, and Bunmi isn't decorating, or caroling, or even writing a last minute letter.
Bunmi is plotting a heist.
Christmas has always been the most inspirational holiday to her. She loves the strings of lights that twinkle and shine throughout the night. She loves the anticipation that lasts for weeks until the climactic day of celebration. She loves the outfits and the food, and the gift wrapping and the romantic movies that always deliver a satisfying companionship at their endings.
Bunmi even loves writing to Santa, or she used to.
The first year she wrote in esrnest as an adult, she was meticulous about it- heavy paper that felt special and important in her hands, intricate washi tape, waxs seals, and a handcrafted envelope. She was deep into dreamy aesthetic mood boards at the same time, and writing a beautiful letter to Santa for a husband was just the type of thing a cottagecore-whore would be into. By the time Christmas day arrived she'd forgotten her letter, though. Surrounded by family and boxes of more realistic gifts she didn't think much about what was missing, then.
For the next three years she continued to write letters with the same intensity.
Dearest Santa,
and
If you could bless a young humble girl like me…
Sure she had a bit of a dramatic way with words, feeling that it was important for such an intimate request. Bunmi needed to let Santa know her true feelings so he wouldn't find her the wrong sort of guy.
Please bring me someone who wants to be at their best when they are with me. Someone who wants to protect me and and love me simply because it makes them feel good. Santa, I'm only asking for a sweet handsome partner who can dress well, and that my family will adore. Make him in your workshop and give him great hair, strong hands, cooking skills because I love to eat. I'd cherish a man who's serious when he needs to be but wont take himself too seriously.
Without any sense of irony or sarcasm, she continued to write letters to Santa for years. When Bunmi turned 24 she felt she had no time for playing around with her future. The year started with dating a mutual friend she was fond of but by the time Fall had come she'd broken it off.
Bunmi found herself writing a letter that was a bit bolder that Christmas.
…because there's no way Ajay was the partner you sent for me Santa. I know we both have better taste than that.
Her 25th year turned out miserable. Bunmi's dating attempts left her so full of sexual frustration that she wrote a semi inappropriate letter that year on nothing more than a page torn out of an old college notebook.
Look I'm not trying to get on the naughty list but I am trying to get naughty. Break me off a little something Santa! I'm not asking for a porn star. But I wouldn't complain if that's who you find. Someone with experience, confidence, a long tongue so he can…
Bunmi posted that letter without much remorse. But something shifted after that — she stopped hoping and started expecting. When Christmas came that year, there was no porn star or anything man shaped under the tree. She had no one to kiss for new years, or valentines day.
By the time she was staring 26 in the face, she'd had enough celibacy to make her feel a little bad about the horny letter she's sent to the North Pole last year.
Bunmi got out the fancy supplies again. Maybe she hadn't been asking the right things. Maybe she hadn't been as nice as she'd thought. Well not nice enough to deserve a man under the tree. And maybe, Santa hadn't been amused by her filthy letter. She wrote three drafts before she was satisfied that she had been direct and descriptive enough.
I haven't even been kissed this year Santa. If you're mad about last year's letter and this is a punishment, I've learned my lesson. Maybe we can start over. I know I've been good for 4 years so give me that.
Bunmi made a wry smile. She hoped Santa was a little flexible with the nice list.
I've been loyal for 6 years. I write to you because I trust you to make exactly what I want. I want to please my family. I'm sure you know all about expectations. Dad thinks I'm being stubborn and Tunde, you know my older brother, he isn't helping since he just had the perfect auspicious marriage. Ma is ok but the hints are going to turn into nagging by next year. I want to be happy, in partnership with someone. I'll spare you all of the details this year since you probably know my preferences better than I do at this point. I just wanted to let you know that I'm still waiting for a little seasonal magic before the new year. I believe in you, Mr. Cringle.
She felt inspired to sign off with: Yours always, Bunmi.
Even so, another Christmas passed by without an answer. So she decided that this season she would take all of those feelings of joy and cheer and warmth and turn them into fuel for her daring, dramatic plan.
No more letters.
Bunmi was going to get what she wanted by kidnapping Santa and holding him hostage until he gave in, admitted she had been waiting too long, and finally presented her with the perfect partner.
She retrieved the rest of of her fancy paper, pens and tape to draw diagrams, theories about how to catch a magical being. While she drew up ideas she consulted the traditional lore (she watched Christmas movies) and the modern theories (online).
Now, on her 27th Christmas Eve all she has to do is follow 5 steps:
Bunmi was memorizing each step and imagining her success when she fell asleep right before midnight.
Actually be asleep
Wake up when you hear reindeer
Sneak into the magic bag and get taken to the North Pole
…….snore?
Chapter 1
Bunmi started awake in the magical sack where she was hidden. She pushed aside the crinkling packages and bows pressed against her cheek and winced with a little grumble at the crick in her neck. As her vision adjusted to the dark she could see light glinting off of the wrapped presents.
Guess Santa has some extra presents, she thought to herself while she pulled her body toward the bag's opening.
She managed to get her wrists through the cinched top, and as she used her forearms to open a hole big enough for her head the sack suddenly fell to the floor. Bunmi's spatial senses went reeling. She stood upright even though it had felt like she was on her belly crawling through the presents. She seemed to completely freeze while she readjusted to the gravity and physics outside of the sack.
Bunmi saw that she stood in the back of the large sleigh with the bag around her ankles. Finally she could take a deep breath as her senses returned to equilibrium. A feeling of wonder started to fill her up. She smiled at the fact that from the outside the magical bag looked flat, deflated, but she knew what had been inside.
She was dealing with actual magic.
She clenched a fist before her face in triumph. Now she just had to shake some of that magical dust out of Jolly Ole Chris. Or was that fairies that had the dust?
Bunmi took the chance to look around slowly. Almost everything she could see was hidden in deep purple-ish shadows. Bunmi squinted and tried to make out the shape of the sleigh and the room but all of the features were fuzzy.
The air smelled like cedar wood, cool and bright as she took another deep breath and tried to figure out her next move. Bunmi felt small even standing upright at 5'11 when she noticed the sides of the thing were so very….BIG. She could rest her chin on the carved wood on the side, and the back of the vehicle rose above her head. The whole thing seemed nearly the size of a cruising boat though some of the depth was hidden in shadow. She couldn't reach each side of it with her arms stretched wide. She ran her hands over a piece of the carved sleigh enjoying the smooth wood and the prickle of magic on her skin.
Big Chris, she amended in her head. Santa must be a giant, she mused, feeling a little unsure with all of this new information.
She was in the North Pole after all. With steps 1 through 3: accomplished. Bunmi felt wonderfully, unreasonably smug about it as she stepped completely out of the toy bag and onto the solid wood of the sleigh. She carefully scooted along the sleigh in the dark until she felt the high sides dip sharply. She tried to conjure an image of the typical north pole sleighs she had seen. Could she get down this way?
Bunmi knelt carefully and looked down into the darkness. She thought she could see the floor but she wasn't about to jump down just to find out. A short distance ahead she could make out a workbench slightly lit by a source-less light. It was much too soft to make more than the bench visible and she couldn't see a way to make it brighter. Bunmi bit her lip thinking, this wont be a graceful dismount. Then she had an idea.
Bunmi shuffled back to the present sack and brought it to the space she'd been kneeling before. She threw it to the floor and strained her hearing for the soft flump of the material on the ground. Then she took off her coat, adjusted the net she had hidden in her sweater and tossed the parka down too. It made an even lighter sound as it landed right on the sack.
Bunmi cursed.
Well, at least she knew she would have a cozy landing. She knelt then and slowly began to lower her body backward out of the sleigh. First her legs went over as she scooted backward on her belly. She felt silly and briefly considered that this might be more dangerous than facing the drop. Finally she hung from the sleigh her feet stretching desperately for the floor, feeling only the curved metal of the runners.
She sent a prayer to the creator and let her grip loosen, fully expecting a weightless moment as she fell through the air.
But
She immediately touched ground. Bunmi huffed. Then she laughed.
She pulled her parka back on and tossed the magical bag back in the sleigh. If Santa was mad that she had sneaked into the the North Pole he wouldn't be persuaded to like her more if she'd also ruined THE present bag.
She walked slowly toward the soft light illuminating a few over large workshop benches. She could make out more parts of the room near the lights and it looked industrial like a large mechanic's garage. Thick metal pillars reached up into the darkness of a high ceiling, and some tubes snaked down over the workbenches. There looked to be some very large power tools left in place on the bench near her.
She briefly explored the illuminated work benches deciding they were definitely for working on some sort of vehicle, like the giant one parked in the darkness behind her.
Her lips twisted in thought. Power tools?
What other modern things will I see? she wondered as she looked up and noticed firelight through a doorway.
Through the doorway there was a narrow warm room, a little lobby with a few large sitting chairs and a desk in the corner. Bunmi smiled widely while looking around at the very appropriate evergreen boughs, fat white candles in brass wall sconces, mistletoe above the lintel, and little wreaths in each of the windows that lined the front of the room.
It was cozier than a mug of cocoa. The chill cedar air of the workshop was replaced with warm pine and cinnamon. Near the front door she spotted an umbrella stand with red and white twisted wrought iron. Even the accent rugs around the room were decorated like giant Christmas cookies. If she never moved another step, she could live in this room happily, she thought. She blinked hard and thought about the plan, and why she was actually here. Not for a real estate inquiry that's for sure. What to do next?
Bunmi walked up to the snow drift-framed, frosty windows where she could see the real Christmas village. Everything about the village was bucolic; an utter winter fantasy. The narrow snowy stone street were empty except for warmly lit buildings looking like elegant frosted cakes decked with fluffy white snow and the most picturesque icicles that ever existed.
Between the buildings she could see thick evergreens shaking in the gusty white air. Tall townhouses strung with twinkling garlands of fairy lights were pressed in behind smaller cottages that looked like they belonged to gingerbread men. Each building she could see had a well decorated room visible, similar to the one she looked out from. Bunmi could make out some cobblestone stairways, and a few snowmen with their families, but not a single elf was roaming about or rushing to a home to a long winter's nap.
Bunmi bit her lip and considered the next step.
I've followed him this far but I didn't think I'd fall asleep and lose the trail. Ugh
She told herself to think.
Let's actually assume there's an after party. It would probably be in the middle of the town right? Or at the prettiest place in town, somewhere unmissable. I wonder if there's a map or…
She turned away from the window and caught sight of a painting behind the desk of a large, cheery chalet near a stunning frozen lake and a giant perfectly decorated evergreen tree.
Aha!
There was no way she could miss that kind of landmark. She turned back to the window but didn't see anything like it.
She adjusted the sweater-net and zipped her coat, tightened the laces on one boot, and borrowed one of the scarves hanging on hooks by the door to protect her face and head. It looked bitterly cold even with all the nice lights.
Outside Bunmi looked up and in every direction until she saw the top of the big glowing tree and began jogging towards it with a gleeful heart that was beating too fast to be blamed on the jog.
She was excited and worried about this encounter. What else could she say that hadn't been said in years of pleading and cajoling? Reconsidering the plan wasn't an option she told herself while running past the shops and cottages.
She really hadn't considered the worst scenario because that wasn't a Bunmi thing to do. The fact that she hadn't considered failure is how she ended up confident enough to pull off this idea in the first place.
She raced up a narrow cobblestone staircase between townhouses that suddenly revealed the whole scene. Unlike the painting the field in front of her was filled with… people?
Bunmi huffed to a stop and thought maybe her cloudy breath was making her see things. She was still a bit away but even from here she could see a bunch of regular sized people milling about at beverage stands, skating on the ice, and roaming in and out of the lodge house.
In awe she stepped on to a swept cobble-stone pathway, lined with lamps and poinsettias, that wound its way to the courtyard of the huge chalet. And was that…. an Ariana Grande Christmas classic she heard? Bunmi looked around wide-eyed and confused about the things she saw as she walked slowly toward the celebration.
Finally in ear shot of the people she could see they were built like humans but they had red skin. Red skin?
She blinked and watched a lithe skater complete a beautiful maneuver on the ice. The hat didn't survive the pull of gravity and as floated away on a gust Bunmi gasped to see pointy ears.
Elves! Elves? I guess anyone could have pointy ears, she mused, but this is the North Pole right? This is a magic city of elves.
Her round eyes took in everything but her brain had stopped trying to process any of it.
A few of the elves noticed her with slight frowns. Bunmi kept moving before anyone could question her. She was going to stick out like a sugar plum and she couldn't have that until she'd had a chance to plead her case one last time.
Big Chris had to be around here celebrating, right? She wondered. Maybe he's on a cookie break.
A sweet twinkling chime like a hundred icicles dancing ran though the field followed by a cheer from the crowd, and they moved in a wave toward the giant Christmas tree. Bunmi moved back from the surge and hugged side of the chalet.
The crowd broke out into a song in a language she had never heard before and by the way everyone was hugging and laughing through it she thought there might be some ribald parts. And then the cheering got so loud She had to cover her ears.
Why are they so loud? I wish I could see….
Bunmi saw.
A huge red man? Demon? Elf?
The balcony of the chalet was taken up by a tall red creature who was waving and cheering to the elves below. He was dressed in a long heavy white robe trimmed with thick plush fur and embroidered with symbols in bright gold thread. He threw his head back in a guffaw and the hood of the robe dropped to reveal a pair of shiny black ribbed horns curling up and behind his head, above long pointed ears pierced with dangling gold jewelry.
Bunmi's eyes nearly rolled back into her head as she began to swoon. She hugged the wall firmly and swallowed. A gust of wind at her back pressed her cheek against the cold stone which roused her mind a bit.
Well…Santa is a mythical creature, She mused, thoughts reeling. But then could this be the actual elf of written in the books, of legend?
She raised her wide eyes back to the balcony and met his shocked stare head on. He froze, She froze.
Then he was moving faster than she could see appearing in front of Bunmi in the blink of an eye. She jumped back from the wall, fell into a snow drift and raised her eyes to meet his again as they both spoke in shock
Him: Bunmi!?
Her: S-Santa?!
If you or a family member need an E-SIM please let me know and I’ll get you one, below is the list of compatible device❗️
সুদানের জন্য ই-সিমস‼️
যদি আপনার বা পরিবারের কোনো সদস্যের একটি ই-সিম প্রয়োজন হয় তাহলে অনুগ্রহ করে আমাকে জানান এবং আমি আপনাকে একটি পেতে দিব, নিচে সামঞ্জস্যপূর্ণ ডিভাইসের তালিকা রয়েছে
‼️الشريحة الالكترونية للسودان‼️
إذا كنت أنت أو أحد أفراد أسرتك بحاجة إلى شريحة E-SIM، فيرجى إبلاغي بذلك وسأحضر لك واحدة، وفيما يلي قائمة الأجهزة المتوافقة❗️
you: i brought you something! *presents a necklace with small bones*
yautja: ...
you: ...
*later*
you: *covered in mandible bite marks and looking a little disheveled, smiling dopily* no regrests at all. i'd do it again...actually i should do it again soon...after i regain the ability to walk-
