mel

sometimes home isn't 4 walls, it's 2 eyes and a heartbeat.

[fcntasmas-archive]

ok i need y’all’s opinion on this super important question:

is flour an essential ingredient to have in your home or is it something you should buy as needed

[beckette]

FAQ

[encourage]

Q: what the hell is wrong with you?

A: yeah

[tardisblue-pandas-deactivated20]

Smart and lazy is a horrible combination that results in disappointed teachers, exasperated friends and a whole lot of bad doodling

[wytchlock-deactivated20200207]

Oh shit this was literally me in school

[the-impossible-mind-deactivated]

Don’t forget those angry parents and half finished homework assignments crumpled in your binders

[reganmariie]

Im smart and tired I want to do good but i dont feel like trying anymore

[boo-tee-deactivated20170329]

ideal relationship goals:

[encourage]

me: hey you wanna come over and nap

them: yeah

[catchymemes]

[mentalisttraceur-humor]

[mentalisttraceur-humor]

[kata4a]

this is an extremely good joke format

[god-of-chainsaws]

I wish I knew how to play chess

[future-haerts]

If I say “Black Lives Matter” and your response is “All Lives Matter” I find that very frustrating. It’s like if I asked “What’s 2+2?” and you said “It isn’t 3,” you're not wrong but, that isn't a solution to the problem.

[future-haerts]

My favourite part of concerts is when the artists plays a song everyone knows so everyone’s singing along all out of tune but then the singer stops singing and they point the microphone at the crowd and you just hear everyone in the crowd singing the words to the music and you see the smiles on the singers’ faces because they know people care about their music and everyone’s just so happy who cares about anything else.

[non-shaggy-pas]

This is not just my favorite parts of concerts, but one of my favorite parts of life.  When else are we surrounded by 200 or 2,000 or 20,000 people all feeling and projecting intense states of love and joy and belonging at the same time?  It’s transcendental.

[foster-the-morning-deactivated2]

i love people who get excited about stars

[veshtabul]

Ok I’m losing my shit right now because I just witnessed the sickest burn a 7 year old could ever deliver. I’m just sitting here at the park and there’s a group of little girls near me. They decided to play ‘Disney Princesses’ and this one girl who probably thinks she’s the ‘leader’ was assigning each one a character. Clearly she was choosing them based on looks, as a brunette she was Snow White, the 2 blonde ones got to be Cinderella and Elsa… So when she got to this little Asian girl she obviously chose Mulan. So the Asian girl is like “Why am I Mulan? She’s not a princess”. The leader says in a nasty tone “Yeah but you have small eyes like her”. The Asian girl went quiet for a few seconds but then proceeded with the straightest face ever: “Then I think you should be one of Cinderella’s sisters”. The leader tilts her head and goes “Why?”, so my little heroine goes “because you’re ugly like them”

[hedgehog1029]

mulan is definitely a princess and you can’t tell me otherwise

[cravings]

i just need a break from everything for a year or a century

[snout]

hey everybody who’s in high school rn, in less than ten years its literally going to feel like a bad dream. like its not gonna feel even vaguely real. hang in there

[niqabisinparis]

not even ten years. like 3 days after graduation

[boringangel]

ten mins after u walk out

[streetlifemanifesto]

Don’t trust morning you. Morning you is a dick. Morning you would sell your loved ones if it got them 5 minutes of extra sleep

[sarapsys]

maybe morning me wouldn’t be such a dick if that flaky bitch evening me had gone to bed instead of tumblring til butts oclock int he morning

[bigmouthlass]

Well evening me might have fallen asleep at a reasonable hour if that dumbass afternoon me hadn’t lain down for a “little nap” that lasted four hours.

[bane-of-technology]

[commupissed-deactivated20180419]

this is a sparkling water hate blog!

[greelin]

“you’re kind of annoying" 

kind of? kind of??? excuse me. excuse you. i am fully annoying. i am very annoying. there’s nothing half-assed half-hearted “kind of” about it

[witchgays]

seeing gay couples in public is the best like there’s nothing better than seeing gay people in love and happy and thriving in a world that has been awful to us and it’s always such a happiness boost

[adhdheather]

to remember how many feet there are in a mile, u just gotta use 5 tomatoes

five to-mate-oes sounds like five, two, eight, 0 and there’s 5280 feet in a mile

[inoffizielles-deutschland]

To remember how many meters there are in a kilometre you just remember “1000” because the system of measurement in the rest of the world wasn’t invented by a drunk mathematician rolling dice.

[comesweetmisery]