The bee movie; but gayer

your face is very symmetrical

[s-e-c-u-r-e-d]

Exhausted and craving death but what’s new

[probablyjune]

Probably Dan's Funeral

Eulogist: “But don’t cry for him. Remember Dan for all the happy times, the fun times. Remember Dan for who he was.“

*screen starts playing hello internet*

Dan: *opens coffin and leaves*

[toasteggs-000-deactivated202204]

i dont understand the stereotype that women are obsessed with shoes, like have u ever met a high school boy

[pokemonprofessor]

#oh no i got a single fleck of dirt on my 200 dollar white adidas quick someone get me bleach and a toothbrush

[k-lionheart-deactivated20171126]

i don’t think you people understand how exACTLY ACCURATE THIS FCUKNIG POST IS

[rarabro]

siri read a message from my mom (2017)

[harlequinesque]

i think we’ve gotten as close to a real life Howler as we can get

[discogolfmagazine]

this is literally the funniest thing Ive ever seen in my life

[tastefullyoffensive]

[masculinityissofragile]

YES LADIES PLEASE DONT BUY THINGS YOU NEED FOR NORMAL BODILY FUNCTIONS AROUND US GUYS.

[greythegryphon]

Am I the only one distressed that he included toothbrushes on this list?

[skygenders]

[mouseremote147863456]

[yellowpillowcase]

i didn’t reblog this before, but this got better.

[puds-archive]

so ppl know

[thefingerfuckingfemalefury]

I’m so relieved that he wasn’t serious and I’m sure his dentist is too

[queen-of-ancapistan-blog]

dude I’ve seen this post a thousand times and I NEVER saw the last bit and I am so shook.

[thefingerfuckingfemalefury]

I legitimately thought he was serious before now as well

In our defence, would it really be a shock if somewhere out there are men who seriously believe stuff like “Lol toothpaste is FOR GIRLS”

[spacedlexi]

if anyone would like to learn a couple tricks for carving pumpkins:

- dont cut out the top to scoop out the seeds, cut out the bottom instead. this way the pumpkin doesnt cave in on itself and lasts longer - sprinkle some cinnamon inside at the top after carving. this way when you put the candle in it smells like pumpkin pie

[topsiders-tanlines]

this is the quality content I wanna see on my dash

[spider-hands-mannos-deactivated]

- rub the i sides with lemon after you’re done scooping. This will also help preserve the pumpkin

[dashaibo]

It’s fucking June, at least wait until the fourth of July, you animal.

[frowningfox]

I’m sorry, I can’t hear you over the sound of me disemboweling this pumpkin.

[bi-gays-blog]

Ellen DeGeneres takes Caitlyn Jenner to task for her hypocritical comments on gay marriage

[thresholdofzero-deactivated2018]

Today a 16 year old boy was brought into the clinic by his aunt to ‘have the talk’ because his school didn’t teach sex ED and his mother wouldn’t talk to him about sex.

She spent 40 bucks so he could get tested for the first time.

I spent an hour talking to this young boy about sex. I got to have the sex talk with him. I showed him how to properly use a condom and protect himself and his partners. We talked about STDs and pregnancy prevention. We even talked about pubic grooming and ways to avoid razor burn. This poor boy has never had someone talk to him about anything related to the changes his body is going through.

And then we spent 20 minutes talking about consent and how important it is.

Growing up I never, ever had someone talk to me about consent and its importance. I even had sex ED in school!

This shit is important ya’ll.

Planned Parenthood is important

[gungan-gundam]

It is the parents’ duty to have “the talk” with their kids, not a government funded organization that murders babies.

[thresholdofzero-deactivated2018]

First of all fucktruck: I am not a government employee. My wages are not paid by the government.

Second: zero babies have ever been murdered in a planned parenthood.

I didn’t say a god damn word about abortion but you had to get your fucking tighty whiteys in a bunch because an organization that you know nothing about is doing good things for millions of people and you hate it.

Shut your face up about shit you don’t understand you fucking dump truck.

[gungan-gundam]

Abortion is murder, just because they’re in the womb doesn’t change the fact you’re killing an innocent human being.

As I said, it’s not a faceless organization’s job to provide sex ed while simultaneously killing unborn children.

[thresholdofzero-deactivated2018]

Listen up kiddo:

Abortion isn’t murder. Murder is illegal. Abortion is not illegal. IE abortion is not murder.

As i said (and we’ll go with what i said as not total bullshit because it’s obvious you have absolutely no real knowledge when it comes to sex or reproduction and i think we can thank your parents for that) this young man had a single mother that didn’t feel comfortable talking to him about sex. So i did it. I provided medically accurate and up to date information unlike so many parents today.

And by the way, planned parenthood isn’t some shadowy faceless organization.

For example, this is my face. The face i made while reading your stupid ass response.

[herdreadsrock-deactivated202401]

Get em, Damien

[panicatthe-house-of-classic-blog]

Not that abortion has anything to do with your organization, but it is murder. At just two weeks the baby in the womb can feel the pain of a pin prick, and recoil. Abortion is the murder of an unborn baby. It doesn’t matter if it’s at two weeks, or if it’s seven months along. It’s still murder. It’s murdering a child. It means that that child will never have the chance to grow up, go to school, fall in love, get married, have children of there own, have a job, and so many other things.

[thresholdofzero-deactivated2018]

Hi, this is damien, the OP and you can literally suck the shit out of my asshole if you think anything you just said is even remotely scientifically accurate.

At two weeks of development it’s barely even considered a pregnancy. It has no muscles, it has no brain, it is literally a clump of cells. And I’m talking like… only a few cells. In some cases it may not have even come out of the Fallopian tube. Since your knowledge of reproductive health seems to be about as developed as this other fuck truck: the Fallopian tube is the tube that connects the uterus to the ovary in which the egg travels to become fertilized.

And on top of how monumentally stupid you sound, you’re also carelessly ignoring the pregnant person. Who may be 12 or 13 years old. Why doesn’t that person get to be a teenager and have a life? Why doesn’t that person get to make their own choices?

How about you keep your shitty ass opinions to yourself.

[geekandmisandry]

“Suck the shit out of my asshole”.

Yes. Yes. More.

Plus also, fuck YES consent education. Consent education should be a focus in schools, how to make sure the person you’re with genuinely wants this and isn’t just doing it out of a sense of pressure and obligation. And also so that the person knows THEY can say no, any time, even if you initiated, doesn’t matter. It’s never too late to say no.

[vert-climber-deactivated2019022]

Meet Damien ~ modern day hero

[lavender-ish-deactivated2018092]

I love Damien 💕

[lookitsbee]

We all love Damien.

[cizayox]

I love how potato in French is pomme de terre, which pretty much means “earth apple.”

like what stupid frenchman saw this:

and said “zis petite légume looks like a, how you say, APPLE! hmmm… but it grows in ze earth… HON HON HON! MAIS OUI! C’EST UNE POMME DE TERRE!”

[michaonthemoon-blog]

j’adore comment ananas se dit pineapple en anglais, ce qui veut littéralement dire “pomme de pin”, genre quel type anglais a vu ça:

et s’est dit : “ow cette étrange big fruit ressemble à une, how do you say, POMME! hmmm… mais plutôt une pomme qui pousse dans les pins… HU HU HU! OH YES, IT’S A PINEAPPLE!” (z’avez vu, on peut le faire aussi… hon hon hon!)

[academicfeminist]

I can’t even read French and I’m laughing my ass off

[dafuqyouwantfrumme]

This is good

[imp-deactivated20171219-deactiv]

do any of you regularly think “FUCKKK i started talking about myself again im so conceited” while having a normal conversation with someone 

[chillyvapor-deactivated20181226]

I’M JUST TRYING TO BE RELATABLE TO HELP EASE YOUR PAIN: a novel

[americaninfographic]

Cat Behavior

[cleoolsson]

a lot of people tend to confuse cats showing their belly for belly rubs, but it’s actually only something dogs do, for cats its a sign of respect and trust, they are not expecting to get pet, so when they do it’s not uncommon they get startled or think its play fight, of course there are expectations and some cats who ADORES belly rubs

[volcainist]

I can’t believe that in 5 months I’m going to live 1,900 miles away from home, everytime I want to see my family I’ll have to take a 3 hour plane. I’ll be paying for my own stuff and doing what I want , I hope everything goes well

[beyoncedidmegood-blog]

how are you going to pay for everything?

[volcainist]

I have a job so im saving a lot and I plan to work a half part time job when I get there right now im working on an ice-cream and I have a lot of free time so I sign up to this site  “click here”  i found it the other day its called InboxDollars all you have to do is register. Also you get a $5 dlls for signingup you can try it if you want all you have to do is take surveys, watch videos, or even shopping. (THIS ISNT SPAM  i actually love this site.) send me a message if u have any questions.I make around 45-90 dlls per week

I’ve seen other people getting gift cards but I like money lol *only us*

REBLOG TO SAVE A BROKE LIFE LIKE MINE

[audreynical2]

[watermelonsaltandhoney]

This is very vivid. Did this guy actually have an affair with Chris Evans?

[danisnotonfires]

[prideprejudce]

hands down the best twitter story ever

[prideprejudce]

bonus

[cleopatras-atlantica]

It got better

[othersentencesbyphil]

Watch the next airport incident that’s going to happen to Dan and Phil be that they get onto the wrong flight and arrive in the middle of freaking Antarctica