Not today Justin
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$LAYYYTER
wallacepolsom
祝日 / Permanent Vacation
Love Begins
we're not kids anymore.
RMH
🪼
cherry valley forever
noise dept.
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★
Kiana Khansmith
Jules of Nature
todays bird
Claire Keane
Misplaced Lens Cap
occasionally subtle
Peter Solarz
seen from United States
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seen from Indonesia
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@fwkei
Intro 🥳
go by any prns except for neo-prns.
I write stuff, mainly angst. I will and would love to take requests like srsly
(requests open again!)
right now I only have work done for Tokyo Revengers but I also plan on writing for other shows like Demon Slayer and Haikyuu if requested
Anyways, I hope u enjoy my writing!
hello beautiful ! Do you like this idea : Hakkai falling in love but holds back his feelings even though she seems to like him too, because he doesn't want this girl to be involved in the violence that Taiju does to him and his sister. Taiju founds out about Hakkai's crush and decides to use her as a means to pressure Hakkai to join the black dragons? (by kidnapping her for example)
PS : The girl could be Hina's friend who met Hakkai while accompanying Hinata to see Takemichi during a toman meeting. Just an idea to help you set this ;)
tysm!
LMAO i'm so sorry I know this is incredibly late but i just posted it if you're still interested 💀
I dont wanna lose you again.
Hakkai x fem!reader (angst to fluff)
Omg hey guys, it's been so long since ive been on this acc and that bc i lost my password lol 🙁
But anyways I'm back again, school has been kicking my ass but I miss writing so heres me trying my best to fulfill this persons request who has probably forgotten abt it. I'm fr so sorry tho but here it is i hope you still like it even tho i didnt follow the request strictly i had a hard time 😭and lastly like always I'm sorry for any mistakes
CW: Mentions of hitting/abuse.
WC: 7.2k
You felt anxious, this definitely wasn’t the first time Emma dragged you over to a Toman meeting. Emma and you went to the same school since elementary, so of course you 2 became good friends, to the point where you met most of the Toman captains through her. You always knew about Emma’s love for Draken, and she would often ask you for advice about it even though you knew nothing about relationships. And recently you met a girl through Emma, named Hinata but she lets you call her Hina for short.
You walked alongside Emma as she made her way to Draken.
“Emma! why do you still make me come to these things?” you asked signing and pouting in annoyance as she grabbed your hand
“Emotional support, duh~” she said smiling
“Where’s Hina? I think we lost her..” you said, turning your head around to only see members of Toman, concerned
“Oh shoot...Oh! I see her standing over there!” yelled Emma as you turned your head to look at where Emma was pointing
“Hina!” yelled Emma
“I’ll go get her, I’ll meet you by Draken!” you said letting go of her hand and making your way to Hina
“Okay!” yelled Emma running off
You held your hands together as you walked through the groups of men, to make your way to her. It was dark and slightly drizzling tonight, it was comforting.
“Hina!!” you yelled running over while waving your hand, seeing the anxious look on her face go away
“Sorry! We must've gotten separated while passing through them..” you said getting closer to her as she gave you a soft smile
“Oh no! It’s alright-” she said
“Want me to help you find Takemichi?” you asked
“That would be great! You know where he is?” she asked as you two started to walk
“No exactly but- hold my hand, I don’t wanna lose you again-” you laughed holding your hand out as she grabbed it
“Alright!” she said smiling
You 2 walked around the area of the shrine where the meeting was going to be held. You then saw a familiar head. A blonde one with messy hair talking with another Toman member, you instantly knew it was Takemichi.
“Here, this way-” you said as Hina followed you
You’ve already met Takemichi quite a few times because you and Hina started to hang out more. You thought Takemichi was perfect for someone like Hina, and it honestly made you so happy seeing them together.
“Takemichi!” you said smiling while waving your hand to get his attention seeing his head turn to you both
“H-hey! Why are you guys here?!” he said back as you and Hina stood next to him
“Emma wanted to see Draken, and Hina wanted to see you-” you said smiling slowly letting go of Hina’s hand seeing Takemichi starting to blush heavily, you smiled and stood to the side. You tilted your head and slightly looked up to see a boy with blue hair.
It was hard to make him out, you couldn’t tell if you knew him or not. But the slight lighting from the street light lit up some of his features. His hair was in fact blue, but a bit lighter than you thought. He had a scar that ran through his lip. He also had a cool haircut with swirls on the side of his head with an earring.
You noticed he kept looking more and more to the side, as if he was trying to hide his face from you. You thought you made him uncomfortable for looking at him for a couple of seconds and so-
“My bad, My name’s Y/n..yours?” you asked giving him a closed eyed smile as his head turned to your
“I- it’s um..Hakkai-'' he said, clearing his throat after speaking, not looking into your eyes, looking at things around you rather than you. You could tell he was nervous, and you found it cute to be honest.
“It’s nice to meet you, Hakkai-!” you said smiling and holding your hand out, making the boy look into your eyes
You heard his breath slightly hitch, his eyes widened and his cheeks became flushed and his mouth parted. Although he was about 6 foot, you could feel the heat radiating off his face. You watched as he took his hand out of his pocket bringing it out towards yours, you laughed softly noticing he brought his left hand out, while you were also holding your left hand out.
“Oh!” he said realizing his mistake bringing his hand down
“No! Don’t worry!” you said bringing your right hand out, gently grabbing his hand before it could fall.
You felt him tense up, he carefully wrapped his fingers around your hand, bringing his hand to scratch the back of his neck as he looked off to the side. His hand was hot, and yours was cold. You let go of his hand making his head turn to yours. You held your hands behind you, turning around so that you could look at Hina and Takemichi talking.
“No need to be so nervous you know..” you said smiling looking over at Hakkai who was just looking at you in complete awe.
Hakkai was so surprised that he even touched a girl..surprised that a girl willingly touched him. His heart felt fuzzy, his stomach was filled with butterflies, his hands became sweaty, his face being hot and red, he so desperately wished you didn’t notice. But you did. His mouth parted at your words and smile, he wanted to respond but was just having a tough time. He wanted to make a good impression on you but he felt as though he was already screwing it up. It made him feel discouraged.
“Yeah!” he blurted out, making you laugh at his random outburst, his eyes widened feeling embarrassed at what he had just done.
“Have you known Takemichi for a long time? Or are you 2 new friends?” you asked giving him options on how to respond so that he doesn’t feel pressured
“We’re uh..new friends..” he said clearing his throat again
“I see...th-” you said before hearing your name
“Y/n! Emma’s looking for you-” siad Mitsuya slightly jogging over to you, raising his eyebrows slightly in shock seeing Hakkai next to a girl, and being calmer than usual. Mitsuya gave you both a smile before walking to Takemichi
“Oh-! Where is she?” you asked
“Over there- just look for Draken!” said Mitsuya turning back to you
“Alright...then I’ll get going then..I’ll see you around?” you said questioning yourself as Hakkais eyes widened again and mouth parted
He saw you stand there waiting for him to acknowledge your leaving. You could tell he wanted to say something and so you waited. You really didn’t mind, Hakkai interested you. He seemed so tuff but he’s such a soft guy when you actually talk to him. You hated the fact that you made him so nervous to the point where he had a hard time speaking. But after a bit you tore your eyes from him feeling a little discouraged that he only stared at you. You signed softly and brought your hand up to wave goodbye, not wanting to be avoided again. As you turned to walk away you brought your hands behind you, stepping forward to walk.
Hakkai was still in such shock. He has never spoken to a girl like this, well never had a girl speak to him like this. Most girls were intimidated by him. He hated that they were scared of him, but you weren’t. You spoke to him like you spoke to everyone. He could see your efforts on trying to make things less awkward..but he just couldn’t handle it. And especially since Mitsuya noticed you two, he instantly felt more pressure on him. It's not like Hakkai didn’t like you. The first thing he noticed about you was your voice, it was sweet and warm. It made him feel fuzzy, after that was your smile, eyes, hair, hands etc.. He thought you were pretty, really pretty. He was just so nervous, but when would he ever get this chance again? He’s talked to Mitsuya about girls before so he wasn’t completely clueless. He knew that it was usually traditional for the guy to make the first move, but he just couldn’t. But he doesn’t wanna lose you. The chance he has...will never happen again..so he has to say something..he has to be the one.
“Wait-” yelled Hakkai grabbing your wrist making you turn to him
“Sorry! I shouldn’t have touched you-! I should have asked!” he said frantically letting go of your wrist making you laugh, genuinely
“Hakkai, it's fine! Don’t worry so much.” you said smiling
“Is there something you wanted to say?” you asked tilting your head slightly
“Yeah- I wanted to tell- well ask you that- would you want to...Can I just...see you again?” he asked, stumbling on his words while looking into your eyes with determination, you felt your face get warm at his words.
“Yeah, I’d really like that-” you said smiling, letting him see your flushed face, you saw a big smile grow on his face
“R-really? Oh wow! I- I- I’ll-” he said clearly not knowing how to go about this waving his hands frantically
“You have a bike, right?” you asked smiling holding his hands in yours so that he would calm down making his face red
“Yeah!” he said still bright red
“Great, then how about we hang out tomorrow?” you asked smiling
“Yes!” he said
“So you can pick me up...in front of the ___ apartment complex..is that okay with you?” you asked still holding his hands
“Absolutely!” he said closing his eyes
“Great! Then tomorrow..at 12?”
“YES!” he said, taking your hands and grabbing them with his bigger ones, bringing his head closer to yours making you smile in a surprised way. You looked around to see some people were looking.
“Then I’ll see you then, Hakkai.” you said giving him a closed eyed smile as he slowly let go of your hands, shocked at his own actions
He nodded his head quickly. You waved goodbye and made your way to Emma but he never stopped looking at you till you were out of sight. He cleared his throat one last time, as he so desperately was trying to calm down, he felt a hand on his shoulder and frantically turned around to see Mitsuya smiling at him.
“Hakkai, you alright?” he asked laughing
“Yes!” he said standing up straight
“You look like you’re about to shit yourself..” said Mitsuya
“Don’t talk like that!” he said getting embarrassed making MItsuya laugh harder
“What happened?” asked Mitsuya
“I think I asked her out..” said Hakkai with anxious eyes
“...you think???” asked Mitsuya looking at him confused
“..You asked out a girl? That's so unlike you-!” he laughed
“I need help please-!” he said grabbing his shoulders and shaking him
“Okay! Okay! Stop shaking me, dumbass!” he yelled making Hakkai back up in fright
“I don’t get what you need help with, It’s not like I can stand next to you the whole time you’re with her you know.” he said as the two started walking
“...I know that! I’m not that stupid!” he said
“I just want her to like me.”
“Well if she said yes, it’s obvious she likes you.” said Mitsuya turning his head to him seeing a smile grow on Hakkais face
“You’re right! You’re so smart!” he praised Mitsuya making him sweatdrop
“Just wear something nice, after you pick her up take her to do something you’re good at so you can impress her.” said Mitsuya
“Okay! Bowling! Should I wear a suit?” asked Hakkai bringing his hand to his chin, genuinely thinking
“..there’s no way you’re serious right now.” said Mitsuya making Hakkai feel nervous again
“What!? Help me then!” cried Hakkai
“Just- You know what..come over after today's meeting I’ll help you with your outfit-” said Mitsuya scratching the back of his head as they got into their lines
“Really?! You’re the best Mitsuya!” said Hakkai praising him making Mituya feel embarrassed but happy
Hakkai placed his hands into his pockets smiling. He looked to the side while others were still getting into their places. He saw you, Emma, and Hina under a tree laughing and talking. He watched as Emma grabbed your hands out of excitement and Hina clapped her hands. And you just smiled so big. He felt his heart jump at realizing that you must've told them about your ‘date’ with him tomorrow. He felt his breath quicken at the thought. It made him so anxious and happy. He smiled and looked back up when hearing the voice of Draken calling for everyone's attention. During the whole meeting, he just couldn't stop thinking about tomorrow, and you. It made him feel so jittery, he felt like running a marathon because of it. He was also so proud of himself for not messing it up with you and actually being able to respond back quite a few times.
He looked down at his hands and felt butterflies fill his stomach at the memory of your soft hands holding his.
The next day you got up and got dressed, doing your very best to look good. You had been on the phone with Emma and Hina the whole time you were getting ready, you looked in the mirror finally settling on an outfit after a while.
“Okay! I think I'm good now!” you said smiling to yourself and grabbing your phone
“Finally! Took you long enough” groaned Emma laughing a bit at the end
“Shut up Emma-” you laughed while putting on your shoes
“It’s 12 Y/n! You should get going-” said Hina
“It is?!” you said looked at the time to see it turn to 12:01
“Don’t worry so much! He’s probably not even there yet-” said Emma
“Alright I’m gonna go! Talk later!” you said
“Goodluck!” they both said before you hung up the phone and rushed out of your room
You saw Hakkai with his hands on his pockets as he stood beside his motorcycle. As you ran over you couldn’t help but smile big.
“Hey!” you said opening the gate and walking over to him seeing his eyes light up
“Sorry, Did i make you wait long?” you asked
“No! Don’t worry!” he said taking his hands out of his pockets
“Cool! So where’re we gonna go?” you asked smiling
Hakkais mind went back to Mitsuyas words.
“When you pick her up tomorrow make sure you compliment her-”
“What if I make her uncomfortable?!”
“Hakkai you need to relax-” laughed Mitsuya
“Just whatever you see that you like, tell her. She’ll be happy about it.”
“Bowling-” he said still debating on what to say to you
“Alright!”
“I- uh..by the way..you look really pretty-” he said looking off to the side and scratching the back of his neck
You smiled at his compliment. You knew how much courage that took him, especially since Emma told you he was the type of guy to always be nervous around girls.
“Thank you, Hakkai.” you said feeling your face get warm and smiling big
“Wanna get going?” you asked
“Yeah!” he said
“I’ll hold your bag for you-” he said, holding his hands out as you gave it to him, smiling
He sat first and you sat behind him. You strapped on your helmet as he waited for you to finish. You wrapped your arms around his waist, feeling him tense up. Again, you could feel the heat literally radiating from his body, you found it cute.
“Are you ready-?”he asked turning his head slightly
“Yeah, I’m ready.” you said smiling
He brought his hands to the handles and started the motor, driving slowly at first, making sure you were ok with the speed.
He was still tense, but you could feel him warming up to you more and more as time passed, and you felt happy about it. You 2 didn’t really talk much during the drive. Only things like “are you alright” and stuff during stops. Then, the bowling place came into view and you instantly got excited. After parking and getting your stuff from Hakkai, you 2 walked inside the building. When meeting the man at the front desk and asking for an alley, you saw fright fill his eyes.
“I forgot my wallet-” he said after checking his pockets
“No worries! I’ll pay-” you said digging into your bag and pulling out your wallet and some cash, handing it to the smiling man behind the counter
“Enjoy!” he said as you two started to walk to get your shoes
“I’m sorry!” he said frowning
“There's nothing to be sorry for-” you laughed strapping on your shoes seeing his eyes soften
“I kinda suck at bowling-” you said getting up to grab a ball and swinging your arm to only hit a few pins
You groaned in annoyance as you went back to sit down to watch Hakkai complete his turn.
“You should try looking at the ball instead of the pins when you let go-” he said while the bowling ball hit all the pins down. Your eyes lit up at how he so effortlessly did that
“You’re so good at bowling!” you praised him
“I- thank you!” he said smiling foolishly realizing Mituyas advice worked
“So I should just look at the ball?” you asked grabbing a ball and standing beside him
“Yeah, watch the ball all the way through, if you look just straight forward, you’ll miss the target-” he said looking at the pins while you just stared into his eyes in such awe
“Alright, if you say so-” you said swinging your and tossing the ball as it hit about half the pins now
“Good!” he said praising you making you smile big
“Now, try changing your form and how you actually toss the ball, try it like this-” he said, grabbing a ball and getting into position, tossing it, hitting all of them down, again.
You watched him in awe, you just couldn’t help it. It was so impressive.
“Okay! So...this good?” you asked looking behind you trying to copy his position, seeing his blush a bit
“Mhm, try using your middle and ring finger instead of your pointer and middle-” he said coming up to you, supporting the ball from under while you switched your fingers
“Alright-” you said smiling up at him before swinging your arm
You and Hakkai both watched the ball carefully, it all went in slowmo. When the ball finally hit the pin you raised your eyebrows, hoping you were able to knock all of them down. But-
“Are you kidding-” you said furrowing your eyebrows and signing in defeat seeing one pin still up as Hakkai laughed a bit
“It’s okay, you’re getting better, Y/n.” he said smiling while looking into your eyes
You could finally feel that he was more comfortable around you, it made you so happy.
“Yeah! Next time I’ll get it.” you said smiling back
Hours passed. You two played at least 4 rounds, and after that went to the arcade and played games there, anddd after that took pictures inside the photo booth. One specific picture contains you kissing Hakkai’s cheek at the last second before the camera took it’s shot. You couldn't stop laughing at the face he made seeing that the camera captured it. He turned so red and his eyes were so wide. He felt embarrassed but you assured him that it was okay and that you found it cute, causing him to make the same face again.
About 4 months have gone by of dates with Hakkai, you were never officially asked out to be his girlfriend, but you knew that time would eventually come and you didn’t want to rush him. During that time you’ve gotten pretty close with his sister Yuuzha and sometimes you 2 would hang out too. You never went over to his house during that time, it was either dates would be outside or at your place but you never really questioned it. Once when Hakkai picked you up, he realized he left his wallet at home and didn't want to make you pay so the 2 of you drove back to his place. He acted differently and told you to act like you lived in his apartment complex while he went up and got his wallet. You found it odd but tried to rationalize it by thinking he probably wasn't ready to tell the rest of the people he lived with about you. You were totally understanding about it and never asked him about it.
During this time, you picked up a job at a corner store that was actually pretty close to Hakkais place, and most of the time after your work, he would pick you up and you two would just talk for hours about anything.
And so it was another night at the corner store, your boss was in his office as you stood behind the cashier waiting for customers, it was a slow night so you were too attentive to your surroundings. You suddenly got a phone call from Emma.
“Hey Emma, what’s up?” you asked before seeing the door of the corner store open.
“Hey, nothing really, I’m super bored though-” she said, signing.
The man was tall, and had some parts of his hair dyed, and was wearing a delinquent uniform, the two of you made eye contact for just a second, you smiled at him softly. He didn’t smile back and only turned around, walking around the store. You read the back of his jacket, seeing it had in big letters, ‘BD’ with a dragon through it. You started to feel anxious but Emma’s voice snapped you out of your thoughts
“Hey, you there?” she asked
“Yeah sorry-” you said
“So do you wanna hang out after your work is over?”
“I can’t today sorry Em, I have plans with Hakkai-” you said sighing
Your body felt a sense of tension in the air when you mentioned Hakkai’s name.
“Ughhh, fine then tomorrow can you come to the mall with Hina and me?” she asked
“Yeah for sure, just text me the details.” you said
“Okay, talk to you later, bye!” she said hanging up the phone
You put your phone in your pocket and tighten your ponytail when seeing the man approach you. You tried giving him another smile, to which he surprisingly smiled back, but it was very unsettling. He placed his basket on the counter and watched you closes as you started to scan the items
“How is your day going, sir?” you asked trying to ease up the tension
“Just fine~ ah! So your name is Y/n?” he asked looking at your name tag
“Oh- yeah!” you said smiling nervously
“Will that be all for today?” you asked placing the bag in front of him
“Yes.” he said with the same smile sending chills down your spine
“Alright, your total is 1750 yen-” you said as you watched him pullout the money, and handing it to you in such a gentle way making you feel weird
“Thank you, here’s your change-”
“Keep it.” he said
“Thank you.” you said
“Goodbye, Y/n~ see you later.” he said kicking the door open and walking out
You felt so anxious. His whole presence made you uncomfortable. You were most definitely going to talk about this with Hakkai, but you brushed it off for now because you still had 45 minutes till your shift ended.
Once it ended you pulled out your phone to see a text from Hakkai saying “hey, I’m outside.” You grabbed your bag, and said goodbye to your boss before opening the doors to see Hakkai leaning against his bike smiling big. You jogged over to him, and gave him a hug, nuzzling your cheek against his chest. You instantly felt better and so much more relaxed. You missed everything about him despite the fact you only saw him a few hours ago and texted him all the time. His arms wrapped around you making your heart flutter. You let go of the hug and smiled up at him.
Hakkais heart felt so full when he was with you. He was so happy that things were going so well, and that you were such an understanding person, and never questioned him. The amount of trust he saw you put into him always drove him over the edge. He felt honored that you did. There had been multiple times during your guy's relationship where he wanted to tell you that he loves you and ask you to officially be his girlfriend but his mind always drifted to the thought of you getting hurt because of it.
“Hey, you alright?” you asked seeing he looked a little down
“Yeah- I’m fine, wanna get going?” he asked, taking your bag. He knew you could tell every time he felt bad
“Where’re gonna go today?” you asked strapping on your hemet as Hakkai sat down on the bike
“I wanted to take you out to dinner.” he said smiling big
“Oh I'm so excited!” you said happily, sitting behind him and wrapping your arms around him as he started the bike
Hakkai could never get over the feeling of you holding onto him. It always felt like the first time. Everyday his love for you grew more and more, and it was becoming almost impossible to not tell you about it.
You two sat at the table of a BBQ place, you both ordered your food, and waited. After some talking asking how both your days went, the food came and you two started to cook while continuing the conversation.
“And after about 3ish minutes passed since she left I walked around the store to restock the drinks, and I saw the baby's pacifier on the floor! I didn’t know at first if I should run after her or not, because she was so rude to me for no reason, but then the baby would definitely start crying at some point and it seemed like she was a new mom so I just grabbed it and ran after her car! And it was so hot and I ran for at least 10 minutes...but I got it back to her and her baby so that's good..My boss got mad at me for leaving the store unattended though-” you said sighing while flipping a piece of meat on the grill
“That’s really sweet of you, I’m sure she probably regretted how she treated you-” he said taking a bite of the meat you placed on his plate
“I mean...even if she did I wouldn't mind either way, something probably happened that upsetted her and she just needed to take it out on someone maybe, I’m just glad it was me and not someone else who could’ve really been hurt by her words, you know what I mean?”
Hakkai couldn't help but to just smile at you. You were so nice to people even if they were mean to you. If you hadn't been the nice type, the two of you would have probably never have started to build a relationship. He was just so so so so happy that you decided to talk to him because he would've never had the guts to talk to you first. He’s been really sensitive lately, and he just was fighting back the random urge to tell you everything. But the story you just told, and how you handled it so perfectly. Just made him so full and fuzzy, he just had to tell you
“Y/-”
“Oh my god I forgot to tell you! Today, like 45 minutes before closing, a man walked in, and he had some dyed parts of his hair. And he was wearing a delinquent uniform which kinda made me anxious….I tried to smile at him but he ignored me and when he turned around there was the letters ‘BD’ on his back with a dragon….And then Emma called me asking to hang out but then I told her I’d be hanging out with you tonight and as soon as I said your name it was like the whole energy of the room changed...it was so unsettling. And after that he was a lot nicer to me and even tipped me 500 yen and said ‘see you later’….It was so weird.” you said
“Sorry I didn’t mean to interrupt, what were you gonna say?” you asked looking up at him, as your smile instantly faded
You saw pure distress in his eyes. They were wide and his mouth was apart, not like you had ever seen before. Your eyes softened at him.
“Hakkai, what’s wrong?” you asked with concerned eyes
“...”
No response from him, only the same face now but he slowly looked down. His mind went back to another conversation him and Mitsuya had
“I’m happy Hakkai, she seems really good for you.”
“Yeah! I like her a lot, Mitsuya- I think it’s more than like..”
“You love her?”
“I think I wanna ask her to be my girlfriend, I know she's waiting for me to...but I’m scared to.”
“Why are you scared?”
“Because I don’t want her to get mixed up with things.”
“Well...I’m glad you said it first.”
“You thought the same?!”
“Of course, delinquents aren’t nice people, Hakkai. They’ll get everything and anything involved with their feuds. Remember what happened with Pah-chin’s friend's girlfriend? And his family?”
“...”
“I’m not trying to scare ya Hakkai, but...if you’re gonna tell her that you love her and wanna be with her...make sure you can protect her first. Bad people can be anywhere, even in your own home.”
“...y-yeah.”
“Y/n.”
“Yes? What's wrong, Hakkai?” you asked, feeling a bit relieved that he finally answered you, but he wasn't looking at you.
“I want to end things.”
“What?” you said feeling your heart drop
“...”
“What do you mean by that?” you asked furrowing your eyebrows in sadness as he still refused to look at you
“We shouldn't see eachother anymore. I’m sorry.” he said
“...”
“Can you atleast look at me when you say that?” you asked in a shaky voice, feeling a lump in your throat, he slowly brought his head up, seeing you had tears forming in your eyes
“So...that’s it?” you asked seeing his eyes soften at you
“...”
“Can you tell me why?” you asked frowning and wiping your eyes
“...I can’t.” he said biting his inner cheek as you looked off to the side
“...”
“....I understand.” you said looking him back in the eye
“Y/n-”
“Keep well, Hakkai.” you said giving him a smile and placing down some cash on the table to cover your part of the bill before getting up and walking out
Hakkai sunk in his chair, he couldn't bring himself to chase after you. Things were going so well between the two of you, something bad was bound to happen, maybe a small fight, or miscommunication, but never something like this. Something where his older brother could be getting involved and possibly hurt you. He was so scared once he realized who you were talking about. The only thing that came to mind was protecting you, and he knew he couldn’t do that. He couldn’t even protect himself. Distancing himself from you is the only way he can guarantee your safety. If you’re no longer seen around him, Taiju can’t do anything to you, right? Well...
After your ‘breakup’ with Hakkai, you weren’t doing so well. You really missed texting him and hugging him everyday but now that was only in the past. You of course did your fair share of crying to yourself and to Emma but it still felt empty not having him in your life everyday. It was becoming almost unbearable and it had only been 3 days. You often found yourself dozing off during work and going through old pictures of Hakkai and you because it helped ease you up a bit. You regretted telling him that you understood why he ended things, but in reality you had no idea. You weren’t the type to be full of yourself about things, but you genuinely felt as though you were really good for him. Afterall, you helped him grow out of his shell a bit, and become better at communicating with people in such a short time, but maybe that was the problem. You never thought you were pushy but maybe you were, maybe even too clingy… You signed and frowned to yourself, resting your head on your hand as you stood behind the cashier, exhausted from overthinking things, you just wanted to say sorry to him and cry.
You looked up at the clock seeing it was closing time. You grabbed your stuff and waved goodbye to your boss, Because Hakkai would always drive you home from work, you no longer had a ride. And so you started taking a bike to and from work.
“What the-” you said seeing your bike chains were cut and that your bike was gone
“...” you just squatted and brought your hands over your eyes, you were so frustrated and upset, this was just the last push. You started to cry. Could things get any worse?
You wiped your face with your hands and just had the urge to run to Hakkais house and cry, but you knew that was never an option to start with. As you got up it was hard to see because of the aggressive rubbing on your eyes, and you suddenly felt an ery presence. You started to blink quickly to try and be able to see better but the sudden impact of someone's hands around your waist caused you to black out.
You heard slight talking and felt as though you were sitting, you tried to move your hands but noticed they were tied behind your back. You started to hyperventilate at the closed feeling of your arms and feet being restrained and a covering over your eyes.
“I think she’s awake-” you heard a male voice say
“Good, just take off the blindfold for now, I don’t want her passing out again.” you heard another voice say
“Alright, Koko.” said the other as you felt his fingers slip the blindfold down your face
You looked him in the eye with such fear, you saw him frown slightly making you confused, you looked ahead of you to see another boy driving. He had dark hair, while the other one sitting next to you had light hair.
“Please- let me go- I won't say anything- I’ll give you anything you want-” you said starting to shake and almost burst into tears
“We’re not going to hurt you.” said the one driving looking at you through the mirror
“Just...try to calm down everything will be fine-” said the one next to you
“No please- you have the wrong person!” you said
“You’re Y/n L/n, aren’t you?” said the one driving
“...”
“Then we got the right girl.” he said as the boy driving turned into a parking lot
“I swear I didn’t do anything!”
“We know, that's not the point.” he said parking and turning his head to look at you
“I’m sorry you have to get involved.” he said before stepping out of the and opening the door on your side
“Inui, carry her in the church will you?” he asked
“Yeah.”
Your eyes were wide, you thought about screaming but no one was even around you, you wanted to fight your way out. But the pure fear that ran through your body just made you paralized, you could just tell by the look of these two boys that there is a huge difference of strength. Your only chance was to comply.
You felt yourself being thrown over the boy's shoulder as he walked into a building. All you could do is watch the ground as he moved your body for you.
You were placed in the front seats of the church, looking around at the biblical art.. Your eyes could barely keep open at this point, it felt like hours of waiting for something to happen. You grew frustrated and angry at how things had become, overthinking got the better of you while you were stuck in your own mind when suddenly you heard the main door open, and to your horrifying shock you saw Hakkai. But not just him, Hakkai was standing next to the man who came by your store. With striped dyed hair and a coat which had the letter BD on it.
But you werent stupid and it didnt take long for everything to click. You understood the situation, like you always did, and you knew you had to play along.
Your chin rising higher and higher as the tall man walked to you and held it harshly, you looked over at Hakkai whose mouth parted in anger, shock, and mostly fear.
“Don’t touch her like that, please.” you heard Hakkai say
The man didn't say anything, and aggressively dropped my chin, quickly walked over to Hakkai and punched him hard. Making him fall to the ground and struggle to gain conciseness. Your eyes widened as you saw Hakkai suffer. This is what he was hiding you from. What he was ashamed of. What he was scared of. What he hated. You watched Hakkai get up and wipe his mouth as the man approached you, Giving you that same smile he gave at the store.
“Now, I’m sure you’re a smart girl and can understand what’s going on, right? Or did my cowardly little brother decide to hide it all from you? Which is it?”
“Both” you said looking at him seeing a smile appear on his face
“HA! I like this one!.....but don't play smart with me.” he said lowering his face to yours
“Hakkai, get up.” he said still staring at you
Hakkai did as he was told and walked over to you both. You couldn't help but start to cry, you felt tears fall from your eyes but you didn't make a sound. You didn't wanna do anything that could possibly trigger Hakkai to get hurt again. Especially by this man,
“I’ll keep it simply for the both if you, Hakkai you either join Black Dragons, or your lady friend gets badly badly hurt, and don't be mistaken, refuse this offer and not only will she get hurt but you, and your sister, and all your beloved friends.” he said smiling at you seeing your tears flow harder
You shifted your eye to Hakkai who looked so unbelievably guilty for all of this, and all you wanted to do was just tell him that it's not his fault. You looked at him and shook your head no, telling him not to join the gang. You understood how life threatening this all is now.
“No?” said the man, and literally within a second, you saw his hand rise up to hit you, But Hakkai placed his arm before you blocking you from the hit, you saw the other arm of the man rise and aim to hit Hakkai, and your body moved on its own, making sure to block the hit that was aiming right of Hakkais head, and doing so, the fist of the man hit you right under your temple, knocking you out cold.
Before fully knocking out your heard the cries and yells of familiar voices, but soon everything became muffled, you just hoped that someone showed up to help Hakkai.
….
You heard muffled beeps, your eyesight became less and less blurry with every blink, your fingers twitched, and your mouth was dry…But you were awake. You looked around to see that you were in a hospital bed, it was very early in the morning, 5:43. The sun was starting to come up and there was frost on the window. You heard a sound from next to your bed and looked down to see
“Hakkai?” you said seeing he was sleeping on the floor, using his jacket as a pillow
You watched as his eye blinked open, and suddenly blinked with shock and happiness
“You’re awake!” he yelled getting up and hugging your hug into his chest making you laugh.
“Hakkai-” you said as your head was being squeezed
“Can you tell me what happened?” you asked looking at him
“I’ll go get a nurse, just wait right here, are you hungry? Thirsty? Do you want me to get something from the cafeteria?” he asked frantically
“Just a nurse” you smiled at him as he smiled and ran down the hall to get help.
You sat back for a moment and tried to remember yourself but nothing came to mind. The door opened and 2 nurses along with Hakkai walked in.
“Y/n L/n?” one said checking their clipboard
“Yes, that's me.” you said
“We notified your legal Guardian that you are now awake from your minor coma and they'll be here shortly. All in all Y/n, you suffered a harsh blow to your lower temple, The trauma ultimately led to a minor coma, you were out for 4 days, so nothing too bad. You will be experiencing memory loss issues for a while but we will offer mind exercises much like how we do for our patients with dementia or alezimers. Overall you’re in great shape and healthy. Will set you up for pickup soon.” Smiled at the nurse as the other one checked equipment before they both left, leaving you and Hakkai.
“Hakkai, what happened?” you asked seeing as he was about to cry
And so he did, he walked over to you and crouched on his knees, you moved so that now you could hug him as he cried into your chest, saying how sorry he was for all of it. You grabbed both sides of his head and made him look at you
“Just please tell me.” you asked
After a moment, he nodded his head, wiped his tears and explained everything. And by everything I mean everything. From the very start where all of it started.
“Y/n, I’m so incredibly sorry and I will never forgive myself for hurting you.” he finished it off, frowning.
“It’s fine, isn't it? It wasn't your fault, I just wish you told me about all of this sooner, but it doesn't matter anymore, I forgive you, just learn to forgive yourself now.” you said taking a deep breath
“So that we can start fresh becauseee.”
Hakkais eyes lit up at your words, as you he watched you stand up and hug him
You laughed, trying to hid the fact that you were crying and said
“I don’t wanna lose you again.”
hello! i love ur works they're amazing <3 n i see that ure taking reqs so if it's alright can you do like lovers to enemies with rindou. Where you two used to be together since ur teenage years until a really bad breakup. then you started working for bonten as a staff or somethin and you two just couldnt stand being in the same room together like there's always so much tension but still obv havent moved on from one another and all that! pls if it's too much you can ignore 😭 thank you and have a great day ✨
hey! just posted it <8
Excited for what's to come
Rindou Haitani x fem!reader (fluffly, slightly angst, light mention of nfsw)
yass my 2nd request 🥳🥳ik that i can respond to the questions directly but it wont let me put a tittle if i do so i'm just gna do my requests like this, hopefully the person sees it, AND I HOPE U ENJOY! I had kinda a tough time with this ngl also sorry for any mistakes
CW/TW: Mentions of harassment, mentions of drugs
WC: 7.2k
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Your mouth parted in shock as anger filled you looking at his grinning face. You never thought you’d ever see this man’s face again. And you almost didn’t recognize him. But the second he spoke...you knew it was him...and he knew it was you.
“You’ve got to be kidding me.” you said under your breath, bringing your hand to your head as he walked over, hands in his pockets smiling.
“Been a while, huh?” he said tilting his head at you
The familiar sight of his cocky smile sent you back, way back to when it all started between you two. Way back to when you were only 15.
You were walking home after finishing a day of school and club activities. It was mid year, finals just finished up and spring break was coming along. You felt relieved that you could finally have 2 weeks of rest, and not worry about your underclassmen and schoolwork. Since tomorrow was the last day of school, you decided you’d make a stop at the corner store. To just grab some snacks, maybe even dinner…
You held your book bag close to your body, as you opened the doors of the store. It was cold inside, you tucked your arms under each other to create some friction for warmth, as you walked around a bit you saw a group of 4 boys who all had matching uniforms, but not school uniforms. Just delinquent uniforms. You quickly glanced to see the sign of their gang, after a bit of looking, you didn’t recognize it, and decided to brush them off.
They looked around the same age as you, maybe a year older. They stood crowded in front of the cooler section laughing and talking pretty loud which already annoyed you a bit since you wanted to get a cold drink. You saw them fill their baskets with different types of beers and candy. You sorta cringed. After grabbing a few snacks and microwavable dinner you walked over to the cooler section, avoiding their presence completely, not interested or bothered by delinquents.
It was common for delinquents to be around where you lived. You often didn’t really like them, since most of them just trashed the streets and caused trouble for others, but you liked the ones that consisted of kids who just wanted to have fun and didn’t cause any harm. But definitely not groups like this, who are always waiting to just ruin someone's day.
“Excuse me-” you said avoiding eye contact, but not in a shy way
“Oh?” said one smiling
“What do you need, pretty?” he asked as his friends slightly moved out of the way, and you looked at him
“..just a drink.” you said smiling, trying to hide your irritated face while pointing to the door they were blocking
“Ahh, my bad.” he said moving out of the way, opening to door for you smiling foolishly
“Thank you.” you said giving a closed eyed smile before lowering your self slightly to grab your favorite drink
After grabbing it, you placed it in your basket and squeezed your way through the boys to get to the cashier. You smiled at the old man behind the counter as he scanned and bagged your items.
“Having dinner all by yourself? C'monn, let me accompany you, huh sweet?” said the leader walking over to you with that same smile on his face while licking his lips making you cringe
“Not interested.” you said not looking at him and grabbing your stuff, turning to walk out
“Aw c'mon..” he said following behind you as his friends dropped their stuff on the floor to follow their boss
You couldn't help but to feel a little bit worried for your own well being. When hearing them call out for you, as you so desperately tried to ignore it and go home. Still by the store's vicinity and still walking you heard him come closer and stand in front you, inching closer and closer to you making you back up with confused and worried eyes
“Don’t ignore me~” he said bringing his hand to twirl your hair
“I said I’m not interested.” you said bringing your hand to push you hair down so that he could no longer touch it
“You think that matters?” he asked as his smile faded into a smaller one but more devious
Suddenly you felt his finger tips touch your waist, and before it could escalate any further your fight or flight kicked in, you quickly raised your hand and slapped the male in front of you, and hard. Causing his head to turn a bit and arms drop from your body. You furrowed your eyebrows in anger as his hand traveled to his red cheek.
“Were you never taught that when a girl says no it means no?” you asked
You saw rage fill the man's eyes, as he brought his hand up to hit you back, both your heads turned to hear another person's voice.
“Really?” is all he said with one hand in his pocket, and the other taking out the lollipop in his mouth as he walked over with a blank expression
“The hell are you?” asked the male in front of you putting his hand down
“You’re gonna beat down on a girl for saying she doesn’t want you? Huh, ugly?” he said smiling as your eyes widened in shock at his insult to the man
Is he stupid? There's 4 guys here and he just insulted their friend. 4 v 1? The odds don’t play in his favor, and there wasn’t much you could do to help him other than call for help. But you couldn’t help but smile a little at his remark, You turnt your head to the side trying to contain your laugh.
“You laughing?” asked the male in front of you turning his rage filled gaze to you
“Yeah she’s laughing, isn't he an ugly guy?” asked the boy with blonde hair and blue highlights with glasses, grinning
“..yeah.” you said holding back your laugh and looking over at the boy, as he looked into your eyes with a look letting you it would all be okay
The male in front of you grunted as he raised his arm to hit you again, but the boy next to you blocked it with ease, signing. He held his arm steady blocking the arm from touching you. He placed his lollipop back in his mouth with one hand, then took off his glasses, turning his gaze to you. You felt your face get hot. He was just so...cool?
He softly smiled and handed you his glasses.
“Hold these for me?” he asked as you nodded your head ‘yes’ looking at him in complete awe
“Thanks-”
“I’m right here!” yelled the male coming in with another hit, you quickly moved out of the way to let him have the floor.
You held the boy's glasses in your hands as you watched him swiftly and easily doge the males attacks, and then it was all over. A single punch from the boy knocked the leader out, as he fell to the floor. Your eyebrows raised, excited.
“Isn’t he your leader? You guys are just gonna stand there?” asked the boy using his foot to turn over the body on the floor as his follower simply just ran away from the scene. The boy walked over to you, twirling the lollipop in his mouth. He took it out, throwing it into the trashcan near you before tilting his head giving you a slightly cocky smile...that you actually liked.
“Thank you.” you said bowing your head slightly at him
“No worries.” he said as you brought your head back up, still looking at him in awe
He noticed. He could tell you were stuck in awe, it was obvious by the look in your eyes. He’s never seen himself make a girl look at him like that, and honestly it made him prideful. But also fuzzy inside since he was able to make you nervous. He watched you earlier, noticing you had more of a calm personality, but the way you were now was different. He could practically feel the heat that radiated from your face. It really made him...happy? Usually all the girls he met fawn over his older brother...and it was nice having some attention for once.
He just kept looking into your eyes for a solid minute, you tried your very best to keep eye contact but it seemed as though he was lost in thought, so you looked off to the side and held out your hand with his glasses in it.
“I- uh..here by the way..” you said still looking off the side hoping he wouldn't notice your flushed face
“Thanks.” he said smiling, taking them from your hand and putting them, blinking his eyes a few times to adjust to it.
“Do you live around here? I can walk you home.” he said putting his hands into his pockets
“Yeah, just up the street. But you don't have to, really! I wouldn’t want to burden you.” you said bringing your hands up frantically at the nice gesture
“I don’t mind, honest. Here...just come with me, I gotta buy a few things first..” he said as his eyes traced your face
“Sure.” you said smiling as you both started to walk to the store
You only followed him around like a lost puppy, as he picked up a few drinks and snacks. Once he finally finished and paid, you both walked out, and started walking to your home.
“What’s your name?” you asked looking at him
“Rindou, or Rin is fine.” he said turning his gaze to you
Every. Single. Time. He looked in your eyes, it was like you were lost in trance. Although it was dark out, you could still so clearly see his eyes, they were so perfect to you. But what you didn’t know at the time was he felt the same way. He finally had someone's eyes on him, for him and no one else. He would feel fuzzy every time you looked him deep in the eye. And you both could tell there was a lot of tension, but not in a bad way.
“Yours?” he asked
“Y/n.” you said looking back in front of you
“Pretty name.” he said making you smile scrunch your eyebrows in confusion as you looked over at him
“Thanks...that’s a compliment I've never heard before from someone.” you said smiling
“Is it the type of compliment you'll remember?” he asked smiling
“Yeah, I don’t think i’ll ever forget it.” you said
“Good.” he said
“Oh- my place is just up the stairs so..thank you for walking me.” you said stopping in your tracks and pointing, smiling
“Yeah, no problem..” he said as you waved and started to walk up the stairs
“Hey-! Before you go-” he said making his way to where you were on the stairs, stopping on the stair below you, making him look up at you
You saw that his face was slightly red, and it made you smile softly as you waited for him to finish his thoughts,
“Would this be a bad time to ask you out or-?” he asked laughing, leaving you surprised
“Yes but I like you..so no.” you said
“..cool.. Then i’ll see you tomorrow.” he said said grinning and turning around to walk
“..tomorrow?” you said under your breath smiling as he made his own way home
After the most cliche moment of your life just happened, you went on to do your regular routine of going to bed. And you couldn’t help but feel so excited for what's to come.
‘What does he mean by seeing me tomorrow..he didn’t even ask if i'd be free, or tell me where we should meet….He’s so different..’
You though tot yourself as you were trying to fall asleep
The next morning, you woke, got ready, and went to school. Everything went as usual. Till one of your underclassmen from your club came barging into the club room, sweating and frantically trying to catch his breath.
“Y/N!” he yelled
“Are you alright?” you asked placing down the pen you were using to help correct a paper, while walking over to him to help him sit down
He only let out heavy breaths, and so you went over to your book bag, taking out a new water bottle and napkin. You handed him the water as he aggressively went to open it and drink it. You kneeled next to the kid and wiped the sweat that was dripping from his forehead, waiting for him to calm down.
“What happened? You look scared.” you said with concerned eyes
“Y/n! There's a man outside in front of the school asking for you!” he said
“..did he threaten you or something?” you asked thinking it was the guy from yesterday who harassed you
“No! But! But!-” he said not being able to speak his mind
“Hey! Hey! It’s alright just relax, grab your stuff and go home, okay? Club is done for today.” you said getting up and patting his head
“Sure but!”
“Don’t worry! Everything is fine-” you said walking over to grab your sweater and bag
“Do you mind locking up the classroom on your way out?” you asked to one of the club members
“Sure!” she said as you handed her the key
“Thanks so much, leave the key at the front office on your way out-!” you said walking out of the club room
You walked down the stairs of your school, walking to the front you carefully looked around, seeing no threat in sight you continued on your way, walking to the front. As you turned to start walking on the sidewalk, your face grew shocked at seeing-
“Rindou?” you asked
“Hey there, took you long enough.” he said looking up from his phone
“Sorry..? How would I know that you would be here?” you asked smiling as you walked over to him
“I thought I sent some random kid to get you.” he said
“You also scared the shit out of him.” you said as Rindou started smiling cheekily
“I swear I didn’t mean any harm-” he said bringing his arm up in defense
“Well sit down, let's go already. It's hot.” he said handing you a helmet
“Where’re we going?” you asked taking it and strapping it on
“You’ll see, come- and I’ll hold your bag for you. he said pushing himself up so that you could sit behind him
You didn't respond and only did as he said, sitting behind him, you pulled your skirt down. You felt nervous at how close you two were right now, but he seemed so calm...it was almost frustrating.
“This your first time on a bike?” he asked slightly turning his head
“Yeah, you’re not gonna wear a helmet?” you replied
“Nope, don't need it, and you should probably hold onto me though.” he said, bringing his hands up to start the motor making your heart jump at the loud sound, and before you could even do anything, he started zooming out of his parking space.
Your eyes widened and you quickly brought your arms, wrapping them around his waist, pressing your cheek against his upper back and cringing your eyes shut. Sacred for your life. You heard him laughing a bit at your reaction, and you couldn't help but to smile at it since it was so cute.
“Slow down!” you yelled trying to make yourself known over the loud engine
“You’re gonna be fine! Just trust me!” he yelled back smiling as you brought your head up slightly feeling the wind against your skin..and it felt so good. Was this what living a carefree life was like?
You couldn't help but smile so big at the feeling you were feeling right now.. It was different from any other feeling you’ve felt. It was happy mixed with...anxiousness? It left you with butterflies in your stomach. That never went away and it just made you feel so good.
‘Is this love?’
you thought to yourself holding Rindou tighter to you as he turned the bike
Rindou felt his heart flutter with your every touch, the fact that you would hold onto him tighter and tighter every time he did something new with his bike just made him smile like a fool. He found it so cute that despite the fact that you were scared, knew nothing about him, and had no idea where you were going and just trusted him because he said so made him feel...light? Like fuzzy and warm. He liked it. No, he loved it. You made him feel happy and jittery even though he knew nothing about you, but he knew how to keep a level head...but that was getting harder and harder for him to do
‘Am I in love?’
He thought to himself
He was snapped out of his thoughts when seeing the spot come into view. He slowed down his bike, turning into a dirt road with lots of trees and bushes, the sun piercing through them making it a beautiful sight. There was also a fence that was about 4 feet tall that also had a sign which said “no trespassing, private property.” which made you raise an eyebrow.
“Are we going on a hike or something?” you asked taking your arms off him and resting them on your thighs, making Rindou feel a little disappointed that your warmth was gone
“Sorta, it’s a short one.” he said, parking the bike and getting off to help you out.
“Hm.” you said smiling taking off your helmet and placing it on the handle of the cycle
You got off the cycle and walked over to where Rindou was, seeing he was making his way over the fence
“Are you sure this is okay?” you asked stopping at the fence seeing he was on the other side
“I promise. Trust me.” he said, pushing up his glasses smiling, you smiled at him and placed your foot through the openings so that you could bring your leg up to the other side.
“Alright, I will.” you said smiling as you sat on the fence, ready to jump off
Rindou held his hand out for you to grab. You placed your hand on his feeling your face get hot, again, as he wrapped his fingers around it. You put some of your weight on him as you slightly jumped off. You let go of your hand and fixed your skirt.
“Ready?” he asked holding out his hand again for you to grab
“Ready.” you said finally letting him see you blush as you held his hand making his eyes soften at you. You felt excited.
After a bit of walking through some nature, you two stopped. You held one of your hands over your eyes since the sun was shining directly at you. But your other hand never let go of his. You tilted your head in confusion seeing that you both were stopped at a lake. It wasn't too big or small. The water was clear and you could see the bottom of the body of water because of the sun's bright rays.
“..hm?” you said seeing that Rindou let go of your hand and started to take off his school shirt and jacket, you quickly turned your gaze from him
“What are you doing?” you asked avoiding looking at him
“We. We are going swimming.” he said walking in front of you smiling foolishly
“I don’t have a swimsuit.” you said smiling slightly seeing he was only left in plaid boxers
“And? C’mon it's spring break, isn’t it? Let loose a bit.” he said taking off his glasses
“Is this your cheap shot at trying to get in my pants?” you asked jokingly
“It can if you want it to be, but don’t worry that time will come eventually-” he said smiling cocky and patting your head, making your face become hot
“Smooth.” you said taking off your shoes as Rindou sat on a rock watching you
“Really?” you said after taking off your socks and skirt leaving you in your undershorts and school shirt
“What?” he said playing dumb
“Fold your clothes, don't just leave it on the floor.” you said grabbing his shirt, balling it up and throwing it at him as he brought his arms to grab it before it could hit him
“Oh? I see what you’re doing.” he said smiling and getting up, doing as you told him
“I’m sure.” you said unbuttoning your shirt, folding it and placing everything on a rock turning around to not see Rindou anywhere, you made a confused look but then you felt yourself being picked up and thrown into the water, but he stayed with you, letting you both hit the water together
You weren’t even angry, you just felt happy.
It all went in slow motion in his eyes, seeing your shocked face turn into a happy one as you splashed into the water. It honestly shocked him, the way you two so easily warmed up to each other.
After about 2 hours of just swimming, talking, fighting, and flirting. You both floated in the water watching the sun go down.
“Wanna be a thing, Y/n?” he asked looking off to the side as you let out a small laugh
“You would like a middle school boy asking out his crush-” you laughed making his face turn to yours flustered
“How else can I say it then?” he asked
“I never said it was bad, it’s cute and sure, let’s ‘be a thing’” you said making his mouth slightly part
“I like hanging out with you, relationships are just friendships but more intimate right? It’ll be fun...I like how I feel when I’m around you so it’s an easy yes.” you said resting your arms on the big pile of rocks in the water looking up at his surprised face
“See, I was gonna say all that but I didn't wanna creep you out-” he said shrugging lightly and slightly swimming over to you
You simply smiled and looked at him as he made his way closer to you.
He was completely lost in your eyes, he didn’t even feel nervous about asking you out. He just felt so comfortable, and he knew you’d say yes. He watched as you got up from the water and ringing out your hair. His eyes grazed your damp skin, and you noticed it. But you didn’t feel nervous anymore. You liked it.
“We should get out, right? The sun is almost down. I don’t want either of us to get sick-” you said making your way out of the water
“worried about me? How sweet.” he teased following you out
“Shut it-” you said smiling as you started to put on your school shirt and socks and Rindou put on his shirt and pants.
“Shit. Quick-” he said grabbing your hand
“My clothes?!” you said in a louder tone as you two started to run to a bush
“We’ll come back, keep quiet it’s the cops.” he said pulling you in front of him so that you could hide behind the bush first
“The cops?! How do you know??” you asked whisper yelling
“Shhh..” he said bringing his hand to cover your mouth as he carefully watched the two cops encounter the clothes on the floor
You brought your hand up to pull down Rindous hand, as you both watched and listened carefully. Your heart was thumping hard, you could feel it all over your body. You watched as the cops picked up the skirt you left on the ground.
“Well jeez-” laughed the cop seeing all the clothes
“Is it those damn skinny dippers again?” said one cop signing
“Probably, just pick it up and throw it away. There's no one here like always, these calls are always a waste of time.” said the cop tossing your skirt into a trash bag
“Kids are too horny these days!” yelled the cop picking up the clothes and throwing it in the trash bag
“PFT-”
Your eyes turned to Rindou who just let out a loud laugh. You brought your hand to cover his mouth quickly, but the damage was already done.
“Who’s there?!” yelled the cop walking over
“Shit, cmon!” yelled Rindou grabbing your hand as he started to run quickly, still laughing
“You DUMBASS-” you yelled as you two ran fast as Rindou was now laughing hysterically
“Stop it right there!” yelled the cops chasing after you both
“Shit!” you yelled after turning your head seeing the cops were catching up to you two
“Are they close?!” yelled rindou as you both started running faster
“Yes!” you yelled back
“Okay as soon as you see the bike just get on it, okay?!” he yelled looking back at you, grinning making your mouth part in awe
‘He’s so cool.’
You thought to yourself
The fence came into view, Rindou used his hand to hold himself up as he jumped over it quickly, and you did the same. You got onto the bike, putting on your helmet as you watched Rindou pull a pocket knife out of his pants pocket.
“What the-'' you said before being interrupted by the sound of a deflating tire, Rindou placed the knife back into his pocket as he ran over to you, sitting down and starting the cycle. Not leaving yet
“What the hell are you doing?! Drive!” you said anxiously seeing the cops come into view
“Just as second…” he said waiting for the cops to become more clear
“Now. See ya!” he yelled laughing after seeing the panting cops finally catch up to you two, teasing them into thinking they caught you both.
You started to laugh as Rindou drove away quickly with a big smile on his face.
That was probably the funniest night of your life. And that's how all your dates went with Rindou. They were all action packed, filled with adrenaline and excitement. He always showed up unannounced at your place honking, or would text you to come over to his place. It was something new everyday with him..from exploring abandoned buildings, to dining and ditching at expensive restaurants, to staying late at each other's houses just talking, to him laying his head on your lap as you treated his wounds, to almost nothing at all.
It had been 3 years of dating Rindou Haitani… The best and worst years of your life. You two fell so stupidly in love with one another. All you guys did was stupid things at first. The love was young, new, and immature. You both were exploring unknown feelings.
Rindou was your first love, and as much as you hate to admit that, you could never forget the day when you realized how you fell for him. And he for you.
After you both passed your high school years, things started to not go so great. Although you loved Rindou with all your heart, some of the stupid things he did were not cute. You were now both 18, and your mother expected you to start helping her out financially, and you completely understood that since you weren’t very wealthy. You started to take up jobs, any that you could find, basically throwing away your high school diploma, using your knowledge for no good. You didn’t mind it, but it did make you feel upset. You hoped that Rindou would notice and ask you about it but it was always the same thing over and over again with him now. Except he just became more and more aggressive with it.
He started getting into a lot of trouble by himself, and not with the help of his older brother, surprisingly. To the point where you would get calls from the police station from him asking you to come and bail him out. At first you didn’t mind, and dug into your savings to do so, but his crimes just became more expensive. You’ve bailed him out 3 times in just 1 month, and it costed you thousands of yen. And he’d only smile at you and say ‘thank you’ nothing more. It infuriated you, but you kept it inside. You’ve asked him multiple times if everything was alright, and if there was a reason for his sudden outbursts of violence. You even went as far as asking Ran, to which you got no answer from both.
Rindou was never ever considerate of your time. At first it was alright, because you two were just kids and had time to waste. But now it was obvious that it wasn't the same anymore. The love you both had, matured greatly and became way more intimate, you both understood that and the risks with it. But as it matured, you both were growing anxious. Anxious at that maybe things would never be the way they used to be. Just being stupid and in love. Like those cliche romance mangas.
You looked down at your phone after serving your last table of the knight. You were exhausted and just wanted to go home, seeing it was 11.
You received a text from Rindou saying “come over?” and it made you angry. So angry. You bit your inner cheek sighing seeing that yet again, he isn't considerate of your time. You had enough, and immediately started walking to his house trying to calm down as you took off your apron.
After walking about 30 minutes, you successfully calmed yourself down. You walked to the door, and knocked, holding all your things in your hands.
“Y/n, hi.” said Ran opening the door smiling
“Hi, is Rin in his room?” you asked smiling
“Yes,” he said, moving to the side. Ran could tell you were upset about something.
You walked over to the door of Rindous room. You knocked before entering the room, seeing he was sitting on his bed with a remote in his hand playing some sort of video game. You took a small breath to try and control yourself. And Ran stood beside the door, he couldn't help but eavesdrop at what was to happen, but you couldn’t see that.
“Rin-”
“Hold on I’m almost done-” he said toying with the remote
“...” you sat there patiently waiting, and after a couple minutes-
“Alright I’m done...What’s wrong?” he said furrowing his eyebrows slightly
“The hell do you mean ‘what’s wrong’?”
“You’re upset.”
“Of course I’m upset, you texted me, telling me to come over for what? For me to just sit here and watch you play video games? Like every other time?”
“What are you talking about? I always take you out? What made you so mad today?”
“Rindou stop acting stupid.”
“What? How am I acting stupid Y/n?” he asked with an annoyed tone
“...Rindou I’ve told you already, I don't have time like I did before, I can't just drop everything and come and hang out with you.”
“I know that, that’s why I texted you after work.”
“Yeah you texted me after my 9 hour shift, and you’ve been doing that for the past week when you see that i’m clearly tired. I have to walk 30 minutes to get here? You don’t even offer to pick me up.”
“I told you my bike is broken.”
“And?! I told you I would pay for it to get fixed but you didn’t accept my money.”
“Because I don’t want you to waste your money on something stupid like that? Maybe think Y/n.”
“You don’t seem to have a problem with me using my money to bail you out of jail, that’s just as stupid.”
“I’m stupid now?”
“I’m not saying that! The things you do are stupid!”
“I told you I’m sorry, I haven't gotten in trouble at all this week for you, okay?”
“For me? I lectured you for your own good.”
“I don’t need to hear a lecture from you right now.”
“Rindou I don’t know what’s going on with you right now, but if something is bothering you and making you act differently just tell me and I’ll help you.”
“Nothing’s wrong, you’re just so sensitive now.”
“...”
“I’m always the one planning things between us, and you’re getting mad at me for continuing to do that?” he said
“Planning what? You never tell me anything until the last minute, and you just expect me to follow you.”
“And that's why I text you after work.” he said choppy breaking down the words
“Don’t do that.”
“Do what?”
“Mock me, asshole.”
“..”
“I’m fucking tired after work, okay? And seeing how we’re becoming distant just makes me so upset and exhausted. I’m trying to fix things here.”
“There’s nothing to fix, if you don’t like how it is, then just leave me. It’s that easy.” he said
“Are you serious?” you asked biting your inner cheek to hold in your tears
“Yeah, I’m serious.” he said with a straight face
“So you’re okay with me just ending things right here?” you said fisting your hands out of frustration
“If that means you’ll stop complaining then yeah.” he said
You felt your heart ache, you were so unbelievably angry and sad. You got up, not looking at him as you turned to leave
“Fucking dick.” you said under your breath before making your way out of the house, passing by Ran who had wide eyes and raised eyebrows.
“Really Rindou?” said Ran to Rindou while standing at his door smiling
“What? I wasn’t the one who ended things.” he said
“Sure, but you were the one who enticed it.” he said bringing up his pointer finger
“And?” he said
“Nothing...just surprised you're not upset, she was crying as she left.” said Ran signing
“She was..?”
“Obviously.” replied Ran smiling
“It’s a shame really, I liked you two together. She was good to you, I hope you won't take a person like her for granted again, Rin.” said Ran signing before making his way to his room
Ran was always a tease to Rindou, especially about girls and you. Rindou could tell though. He could tell that Ran was trying to tease but also get an important message across to him. Ran could tell Rindou wasn't in the right headspace. He’s been out of it, and honestly Ran envys you for being able to put up with it, and also his normal crazy demeanor at the same time. There really isn't any other person other than you and Ran that have had such an impact on Rindou.
After you left, Rindou just sat there with a blank expression. He got a notification on his phone, lighting it up, forcing him to see his screen saver which was a picture of you two. Your laughing face at the bottom of the screen, as his hands were messily in your hair, spreading hair dye all over with a smile on his face looking down at you with such awe.
He looked away from his phone and brought his hands to his hair, grasping it in frustration. It was what RIndou wanted. In your eyes, you saw Rindou losing interest, in his eyes, he saw someone too good for him. He held you back, right?
---
“You’ve got to be kidding me.”
“Been a while, huh?”
“You two...know each other?” asked Kakucho who was showing you around the building
“...”
Complete silence as you both just looked into each others eyes, you slightly angry, and him smiling.
“Yeah-” you both said at the same time looking over at Kakucho
“Oh! How so?” he said giving a surprised smile
“...”
You both looked back at each other, you switched your gaze to look off to the side
“Old...uh..friends.” you said smiling at Kakucho as he nodded his head
“Friends?” said Rindou furrowing his eyebrows playfully, making you feel anxious.
“Yes, friends.” you said
“Should I give you 2 some time alone-?” asked Kakucho sweat dropping
“No-”
“Yes-”
“..”
“After the meeting.” you and Rindou said at the same time, again.
“...Well alright then, let’s go to the table?” said Kakucho trying to ease the tension between you two
“Sure.” you said smiling at him
“Right this way-” he said walking in front of you as you followed, feeling Rindous presence behind you making you nervous.
As the table came into view, you saw a few other men sitting down and discussing things. You smiled and waved as they turned their attention to greet you.
“Y/n?” asked Ran smiling, clearly very surprised standing up a bit to reach your hand
“Hello! Good to see you again,” you said smiling and shaking his hand
“...Interesting.” he said sitting back down smiling over at his younger brother who looked annoyed
“Ran, you’ve met Y/n?” asked Kokonoi
“Y/n was friends with Rindou and Ran-” said Kakucho smiling trying to avoid another tension filled conversion
“I see, then Sanzu will be right over. But Y/n is going to be our financial guide/supervisor. Today’s meeting is about the recent drop in our drug sales.” said Kokonoi passing around packets
You pulled one towards you and sat down between Kakucho and Rindou, reviewing over the packet immediately noticing some major details.
“Alright!!” you heard a man yelled as he walked into the room throwing himself onto his chair
“Oh, new girl that Koko haired right? Y/n is it?” he asked looking over at you
“Yeah-” you said smiling
“Pleasure~” he said smiling leaning over the table to shake your hand
“Likewise.” you said letting go and sitting back down fixing your dress
After a bit of bickering between the men for about 10 minutes, you finally finished your analysis.
“What you should do is drop oxy shipments, sales go down every month by 2%, Within 6 months you’ll be losing more money than you will make with drugs. Also the place you’re getting your oxy shipments from recently is just faux opioids. I get you switched to a new provider since you weren't making money but they’re not even a type of opioid. They were recently in a feud with another gang just a week ago for selling synthetic drugs. They make business by buying cheap things and selling it for 10x it’s price. So the reason you’re losing money is simple, your clients aren’t getting their desired high. Opioids are too expensive to buy in big shipments so I recommend switching to another drug. Adderall is becoming popular among students and soon with others. Taking it gives you a rush of energy and good feelings all around, switch to selling adderall instead of faux opioids, and you’ll be making a lot more money.” you said showing your paper to the men
“How are you so sure?” asked Rindou looking over your notes
“It’s right in front of you.” you said not looking at his direction causing Ran to put his head down to contain his laugh and Rindou smiles at you remark
“I’m all for it.” said Sanzu smiling
“I also brought samples if any would like to try.” you said
“Oh how nice!” said Sanzu smiling at you as you placed the small container in his hand as he opened it and swallowed one happily
“When will we start to see an increase?” asked Kokonoi
“Oh right so here I made-”
You went on to explain your reasoning to Ran, Koko, and others. Within an hour they all seemed satisfied and impressed with your work, while Sanzu was just in a mind of his own enjoying himself
“Alright then I'll start making calls.” said Koko giving you a soft smile
“Sure, let me know if you need any help.” you replied back as the other men started to pack their papers
“Y/n, would you like to finish the tour?” asked Kakucho
“Maybe next time?” you said smiling trying to cover your annoyed face at feeling Rindou tap your shoulder
“Ah understood- no worries.” he said smiling
You turned to look up at Rindou
“My office alright with you?” he asked placing his hands into his pockets
“Yeah.” you said bringing your hand to your necklace, playing with it
You felt nervous as you followed Rindou into his office, anxious, like that first time he walked you home. You haven't seen him in years, it was so overwhelming. You were surprised at yourself for not getting more angry today.
He opened the door of his office for you, you walked in and sat on one of the chairs, as Rindou closed the door, walking over, leaning himself against the table as he just looked down at you. You looked to the side to cover the flushed face you very much did not want him to see.
“Stop looking at me like that.” you said looking him in the eye
“Like what? You look good.”
“...Just say what you want to say so that I can go home.” you said looking off to the side trying to ignore the fact that butterflies just filled your stomach
“How’ve you been?” he asked smiling noticing how his words took affect on you
“Fine. Went to university like I wanted..” you said
“I’m glad, Y/n.” he said
“What are you getting at here?” you asked getting frustrated
“Nothing, I just miss you.” he said
“Don’t say things like that. It’s not fair.”
“Y/n-”
“No, don’t say anything anymore-”
“I’m sorry.” he said making your mouth part then close quickly as you looked to the side trying to control the overwhelming emotions taking over you right now
“I don’t know what you want me to say to that.” you said getting up from your seat, walking to the door, stopping in your tracks when you felt his hand grab your wrist gently
“Just say what you feel like saying.” he said, getting up from leaning on his desk to stand in front of you, making your eyes widen in shock at the sudden intimacy
“I-” you said, getting lost in his eyes again like it was your very first time looking in them. Your eyes traced his face, appreciating every little detail, finally looking at his lips seeing them smirk slightly
“Fucking dick.” you said under your breath before bringing your hand to his jaw, pressing your lips onto his. You felt his arms hold your waist as his mouth moved in sync with yours, his mouth was so warm and hungry for yours. You missed being this intimate with him. He moved you against the wall of his office before breaking the kiss, breathing heavily and looking you deep in the eye
“are you...seeing anyone?” he asked
“..No.” you replied
“Then..Wanna be a thing, Y/n?” he asked smiling after seeing you smile at the familiar words
“Sure, let’s be a thing’”
You said, excited for what's to come.
------------------
Bonus lmao
“You guys are done, great-” said Kakucho as his smile faded as he realized what just happened in Rindous office.
“Yeah. We’re done.” you said patting down your hair and fixing the strap of your dress
“We made up.” said Rindou smiling while fixing his tie and wiping under his lip
“...” Kakucho was left with wide eyes and a flustered face, as Rindou and you nonchalantly walked back to the meeting table to grab your stuff and leave.
I want to say a lot of things but I don't know how. I'll just say that I love everything you've written so far, hope you're doing well, drinking enough water and eating healthy. Keep up the great work! (๑•ᴗ•๑)♡
crying at this, tysm ur so sweet 😭
hiii do you have rules for requests? tysm!
thank you for asking!
1) i won't write nfsw/smut on underage characters (like characters who don't have a timeskip where they're an adult) But other stuff like fluff/angst is welcome for underage characters, I don't really plan on writing smut at all but if it's requested with a good enough trope i will (maybe dk yet)
2) I will not write for characters that i’m not ‘attracted’ to LMFAO that sounds so weird, but if someone requests a character like that i’ll just ignore it in the most nicest way possible
Remember...?
Draken x fem!reader (mainly fluff slight angst)
Finally got my first request yall 🥳 I couldn’t strictly follow the request like i wanted to but i hope thats alright, the gist is still there. anyways thank you sm for it and i hope you enjoy
TW/CW: Mentions of sex, mentions of alcohol, mentions of sex work
WC: 7k (omg the most ive ever written🙆🏻♀️)
Note: I changed my writing style a bit for this request so i hope yall don’t mind! and again i dont read my stuff over so my apologies if theres any mistakes lmao
------------------------------------
You sat on the street, overheating as you watched the ‘heat waves’ coming off the ground. You held your hair up with one of your hands since you had nothing to tie it with, while the other held a lukewarm water bottle. You sighed, you felt so anxious and frustrated.
What now?
You thought letting your mouth part due to your heavy breathing
You took things too fast. It had been about 3 weeks since you left your parents ‘home’ and why did you leave? Well there were a number of reasons that are a bit too much to list, but all that matters now is that you’re completely and utterly on your own.
You only managed to scavenge small jobs here and there to get some money to buy some basic necessities but nothing more.
“Sorry Y/n, my niece is coming down to Tokyo and I told her she could have a job here and stay at the studio above...I’m gonna have to let go. I’m sorry.” said your boss to you only a couple hours ago, with pity filled eyes
“...No it’s fine really! I understand.Thank you for taking me in while you could.” you said bowing your head at the man, biting your inner cheek trying to keep a level head
“I’m happy you understand. You can leave your apron and hat on the cashier. On your way out.” he said patting your shoulder as you slowly brought your head up
“Right..” you said taking off your apron and hat as you walked slowly to the cashier, placing it down
You brought your hands to your temples out of stress, trying to figure out what you could do now. You only had very little money, and there was a heat wave striking Japan this week. At least your boss allowed you to live and pay rent in the small studio right above his store, which had an AC, but now that was for his niece.
This had been the first time in a while where you had no idea what to do. You had always been the type of person to be able to take care of yourself and your problems..on your own. All your life since you can remember, you always had to be the one to take care of others, not that you mind or minded...but you were only so young. You never really had a childhood, at least not that you can remember. You do remember cleaning up after your parents who lost all will just to even... parent. You remember taking jobs as a babysitter at a really young age in your apartment complex to make some money.. You remember being the reliable older kid of your school and complex, where kids would come to you asking for help with things like homework all the way to buying something for them to eat because they were hungry. Not once did you ever say no, because you really did want to be there for those kids who’s parents didn’t give them the care they needed. But it just became too much.. You ended up spending all of your saved up money on them, just so they could have something to play with or something to eat.
Before you even realized it, you were in your last year of high school, with no money saved over, no scholarships, no one to rely on but yourself. Not even a friend. Was it really the right thing to do? Use all your money that you worked so hard for to help kids he lived next door? Or just plain stupid? You knew you couldn't support them forever...but you tried so hard to. All you wanted was to give them a childhood they never had, and someone to look up too. But now you left them. All because you were frustrated. You felt so unbearably guilty. All the work you put into your studies to get at least some type of scholarship just went to waste because you couldn't handle your life anymore. You were being so so so stupid.
Before you even knew it, the sun was going down, and you grew even more tired and sleepy. You signed, taking a jacket out of your bag and placing it on the ground so you could rest your head on it. You brought your hands to cushion your cheek as your eyes started to close. The air finally got a little cooler making it easier to breathe and well...do anything.
As you were falling asleep you could hear chatter and laughing, and finally a tap on your shoulder waking you up. You cringed your eyes before opening them up more to see 2 women. One had blonde hair and the other had pinkish hair. They looked older than you, maybe in their 20’s. One held a bag and the other held a bottle of wine with two glasses, they bent down so their heads could be closer to yours. After examining you for a bit they turned to each other and smiled happily before turning back their gaze to your confused face.
“Hey?” you said sitting up more, a little startled by the intimate contact they were giving you
“Hey there, say...what’s a pretty girl like you sleeping on the street for?” asked the girl with pinkish hair that was tied into pigtails
“I uh..don’t have a place right now so..” you said scratching your head
“Really? Hmmm.” said he one with blonde hair
“How old are you? And what’s your name? I think we can help you out! Woman to woman!” said the pink haired girl smiling sweetly making you feel fuzzy at their niceness
“18, and it’s Y/n.” you said smiling nervously
“Nice to meet you Y/n, I’m Remi, this is Rema, my twin sister.” said the pink haired girl pointing to the blonde as she waved sweetly
“Hi, it’s nice to meet you too..!” you said bringing your hands to your thighs smiling
“So did you just turn 18?” asked Rema
“Sorta, 2 months ago, why?” you asked
“Oh good!” they both said
“Well, it’s your choice really. One of the girls left today, and the boss sent us to scout another girl to take her place, buttt we just went to buy food with no intentions of finding someone but luckily we just found you! It’s perfect!” said Remi
“Oh? What work?” you asked getting excited
“Oh silly, we live in a brothel! It’s really not all that bad you know, great pay and rooms...so what do you think?” asked Rema
“A brothel..” you said under your breath
Your mind was in a serious state of concentration.
It can’t be all that bad, right? You just have to please people and go on with your day so… that’s what i've been doing my whole life… plus… there's a bunch of women in those things right? I probably won't get too much attention from customers if there's sweethearts like Remi and Rema walking around...so...just for the time being… I think it could really work out in my favor.
You thought to yourself
You brought your head up, giving the girls a closed eyes smile before shaking your head ‘yes’ making them jump in excitement.
“Oh good!” yelled Remi grabbing your hands
“I’m so excited! We haven't had a new girl in years! How do you think Ken will react?” asked Rema smiling as you 3 all started to walk
“Ken?” you asked furrowing your eyebrows at the familiar name
“Oh right, We’ll have to introduce you to him and everyone else tomorrow. He’s the bosses foster kid..I think you two are actually the same age.” said Rema bringing her pointer finger to her chin
“Mhm mhm! Oh and since you're new, tomorrow I will take your pictures for the board, you can borrow one of my sets till you can afford to buy one for yourself, how does that sound Y/n?” asked Remi smiling and holding your hand
“It sounds..great! Thank you so much.” you said bowing your head slightly
“No worries! Hopefully the boss will take you in.” said Remi patting your head
“Yeah..” you said as you 3 continued to walk to the brothel
You couldn't seem to get your mind off of that familiar name..Ken? You swore you knew someone named that. It definitely wasn't a popular name so it’s not like you knew it from some type of T.V program.. After thinking hard your whole way to your new home you couldn't seem to remember them. The person named Ken. And so you decided to brush it off for the time being.
The brothel was pretty big, and consisted of 12 girls, not including yourself. It was really late so everyone was asleep. Remi and Rema showed you to your room which was much more spacious than your room at home. They told you that you were allowed to decorate it and style it however you wanted. But they told you it was important to know that this was the room where business would be done, and not to leave important things around since some of the men came into brothels for the sole purpose of stealing. Remi even told you a story about how one of her clients tried to steal one of her panites, but then the boy named Ken stopped him by knocking him out with one punch to the stomach.
“He sounds strong-” you laughed as they gave you a small tour
“He sure is! Like the bodyguard of this place! He’s a sweetheart!” said Remi smiling
“I’m sure..!” you smiled
“Alright that’s about it, you should shower now and get ready for tomorrow. The boss will probably wanna take a look at you before seeing if he wants you. But I'm sure he will! You're pretty so it’ll go smoothly!” said Remi handing you her shower stuff for you to use for tonight and a set
“Got it, and again...thank you so much. I really appreciate it.” you said again
“Of course! Remember..we’re neighbors so feel free to knock whenever you need something..Also I can give you some tips before your first client so you know what to do.” she said smiling
“Right, goodnight then!..” you said feeling your face get hot at how she so easily talked about sex.
After that, you did exactly as she said, you showered. You thoroughly washed your body, face, and hair. Getting out you looked down at the set Remi gave you. It was just a black bra and matching panties with a silk cover up which made you feel better knowing you could cover up with that.
You rubbed your mouth as you started to rethink your decision. I mean...you respected sex workers..but was this life what you were willing to settle for? Aimlessly waiting around for some random horny man to choose you and do things with you just for you to get only 40% of the payment? Was this all really worth it? Leaving home to avoid your problems...to end up here? You were grateful, yes, Remi and Rema were so sweet and open with you. You could only hope that the others were just as nice. You really wanted things to go well, and that can only start with some good rest.
You woke up to a knock on your door, to see Remi and Rema walking in with a smile
“Morninggg!” they sang as you quickly got out of bed
“Hi!” you said frantically
“No need to rush! Usually men start coming in at 10, but since you don't work here officially yet you got to sleep in a bit! But the boss called for you, you should go to the set up room down the hall to get ready, remember it?” asked Rema
“Yeah I do. Thank you for waking me-!” you said smiling and grabbing your stuff and shoes
“Course, good luck Y/n!” they said as you quickly walked out of your room to get ready
As you walked in, there were a few other girls getting ready. You smiled and introduced yourself to them, and them to you. They were all so nice and pretty. It made you feel a little bit better about being here, and less nervous since they complimented your looks. You got ready in about 10 minutes, letting one of the other girls help you out with your hair and stuff like that. You gave yourself one last look in the mirror before stepping out and waving to the girls ‘bye.’
You nervously walked to the boss's door. You took a deep breath before knocking. You heard a muffled ‘come in!’ so you walked in smiling while holding your covering close. You gave a nervous closed eyes smile before seeing his office was simple, just a desk with a bunch of papers and a chair on the other side.
“Y/n, correct?” he asked placing down his paper and taking off his glasses to look at you
“Yes.” you said smiling
“Pleasure-” he said leaning over the desk to shake your hand
“Likewise.” you said smiling, shaking his hand firmly before sitting down
“Well, I’m sure Remi and Rema told you just about everything you need to know, I take 60% of your earrings, I use that stuff to pay for rent and bills for you girls and my kid… which usually takes up about 30% of that 60%, meaning you make a profit of 40, while I make only a profit of 30 per girl.” he said
“Yeah, I was told.” you said smiling nervously fiddling with your hands
“Good good, now that that's over with..” he said getting up ad signing
“I’m just gonna take a look at you, no need to be nervous I’m not gonna touch you or anything, so please don’t feel worried.” he said smiling
“Right!” you said getting up
“Alright just do a quick 360 with arms up.” he said smiling
“Okay.” you said doing as he said
He looked you up and down but not in a lustful way at all, it was more of like a ‘just seeing how you’ll hold up’ kinda look, almost like he was a bit worried for you.
“Thank you-” he said sitting back down as you did the same feeling nervous
“I was also told you’re 18? Right?” he asked looking down at his papers
“Yeah that's right.” you said
“Well I don't usually have this talk with the other woman because they're older. I know the age of consent in Japan is 16 and blah blah, but you’re still pretty young, are you sure you wanna work like this?” he asked looked into your eyes
“...Not entirely but it’s the best I can do right now.” you said with a determined face
“I see- we’ll then welcome, and just remember you can leave whenever you want, but give a 2 weeks notice. When Remi is done, ask her to take your picture.” he said
“Understood, thank you!” you said said smiling and leaving
You walked out of the room, closing the door carefully signing in relieve
That went pretty well.
You thought
You started to walk down the hall so that you could ask Remi to take your picture. But when you put your ear to the door, you heard lewd noises letting you know she wasn’t done just yet. It was already 5, and the brothel closes at 10. You didn’t really know what to do, so you walked over to the kitchen, sitting down at one of the stools waiting for Remi and or Rema to finish up with their work. You tapped the pen that was on the table and started to look around the kitchen. You remembered Remi told you there were snacks in the cabinets, so you got up and started to open and close them one by one to find something to eat. You finally found a cabinet filled instant ramen, you grabbed one and started to pour water into it, popping it into the microwave that was on the counter top. You stood in front of it waiting, playing with the loose strings of you covering when suddenly you heard the door open.
“I’m home.” said the tall boy with dark hair tied back to reveal a dragon tattoo on the side of his head
Is this Ken?
You thought as the microwave beeped, making his eyes turn to you
You quickly shot your eyes to the microwave, hoping he didn’t notice your stare. He looked so familiar it was almost irritating how you couldn’t remember him. You took the hot cup out of the microwave, placing it down on the counter top, ignoring his presence as he walked over, placing down the plastic bag in his hand, noticing your frustrated face trying to figure out where the utensils are.
“Left of the sink are where they are.” he said sitting down on the stool across from you after looking at your face a bit
“Thank you.” you said smiling nervously turning around to grab a pair of chopsticks
“Are you new here?” he asked taking out a styrofoam box from the plastic bag, opening it to reveal a hot meal of meat and rice and vegetables
“Yeah..I was supposed to start today but I don’t have my pictures taken yet.” you said smiling turning back to mix your noodles
“Could you grab me a pair too?” he asked realizing he forgot to take a pair of chopsticks from the restaurant
“Sure-” you said turning back quickly to grab some for him, placing it in his hands as he gave you a soft smile making your eyes widen slightly.
“You look familiar..” you both said at the same time making both your eyebrows raise in shock then turn into a slight scoff from the both of you
“Glad we’re on the same page then.” he said taking a bite of his food as you did the same still standing
“You know you can sit down, don’t feel nervous.” he said looking up you slightly
“..yeah.” you said smiling, walking around and sitting next to him.
“So when’d you come?” he asked turning his head slightly to see your mouth filled with noodles making him smile a bit
“..I came by last night, really late with Remi and Rema.” you said after finishing your bite
“I see...I feel like I remember you from somewhere, can’t pinpoint it though.” he said looking back down at his food
“Same here, and you must be Ken though, right? When I first heard your name I swore the same thing but I just can’t remember..” you said before sipping some of the broth of your soup
“Yeah, but you can call me Draken and your name?” he asked getting up to grab a napkin from across the table
“Draken...sure! Oh right, my bad. It’s Y/n. Nice to meet you-” you said smiling holding your hand out for him to shake
He only completely shot up to look into your eyes with his wide ones. You gave him a confused look as you watched him get knocked out of his thoughts, bring his hand up to shake your hand before clearing his throat and walking back over to sit. Maybe you struck a nerve? Maybe had the same name as someone who hurt him in the past? You really didn’t know but it made you feel interested. He looked like he just had his life flash before his eyes or something.
“Are you okay?” you asked
“Uh yeah, I’m fine. My head just hurts a bit.” he said looking as if he was deep in thought
“Oh? I have some tylenol in my room.. You want one? Or I can make you a cold drink, you’re probably dehydrated?” you asked smiling a bit
Draken turned his head to look at you, his mouth was parted, and he just looked so..anxious? You couldn’t even tell, almost like congested because he wanted to say something.
Draken felt his heartbeat quicken when he heard your name. As soon as you said it, a random memory that was buried deep in the back of his mind hit him as he quickly re-lived it. But could it really be you? The Y/n he knew from so so so long ago? Around 10 years ago? There could be no way, he remembers the girl moving to a different city..the chances were so low that it could really be you already.
But the second you said those words.. Those words of offering to make something for him, or give him something, despite you thinking you only just met him...Made him know that it was really the Y/n he met when he was only a little boy...but how the hell did you turn up here? In a place and part of town like this? He was so confused and just wanted to ask you...but you still didn’t remember him.
“..No I’m alright, thanks..can I ask you somethin-” said Draken before being interrupted
“Y/n!! Come on, let's take your pictures!” yelled Remi coming out of her room waving as a man walked out too buttoning his shirt
“Sorry, just remember what you wanted to say and tell me later.” you said smiling and standing up and walking over to Remi
Draken watched you as you walked away. He saw Remi give you a hug, and the man that was walking out checked you out to which Draken gave him a pissed off look. Making the man smile nervously, wave, and leave.
Do you really wanna live your life like this, Y/n?
He thought to himself before packing up his trash and throwing it away
Remi took your pictures, telling you to do different poses etc, and you finally settled on one. You walked over to the front of the house to place your picture in its designated area above your name. You signed, stepping back to look at it, fixing your gaze to see Draken was walking over with his hands in his pocket, looking as he was going to leave. You saw him glance at the photo making you feel slightly embarrassed.
“Nice.” he said smiling but looking into your eyes in a way where it looked like he was concerned for you.
Just as you were about to thank him a man walked in and started looking at you making you feel nervous. The man requested you, and so you smiled at him pointing your hand to where the showers were, as you started to walk behind him, you turned your hand giving a thumbs up to Draken with a nervously flushed face, smiling, as he he brought his hand up giving you a thumbs up with soft and concerning eyes before opening the door and leaving. It made your smile fade slightly, you’ve seen that face before from him. But not from today.. And it was all you could think about during your work.
As you laid in your room, after work you couldn’t help but feel a little bit...stupid? You felt so unsatisfied, not because of your customers but because you just couldn’t remember. It felt like an itch you couldn’t scratch hard enough, and with every interaction you had with the boy almost felt like a tease, like the itch just became more itchy and your scratches just became more weak. Maybe if you spend more time with him, you’ll remember?
It had been about 4 weeks, 4 weeks of saving your money, and every 4 weeks the boss collected his fair share of the cut. It wasn’t a pretty 4 weeks, it was probably the worst 4 weeks of your life. But... you and Draken would often exchange stories about your lives late at night which you enjoyed a lot. It always makes you feel better. But yet again you still couldn't figure him out. You felt as though you’ve met him before, and as though you two have had these kinds of talks before.
Draken only grew more and more helpless, seeing how you still haven’t remembered. He was slowly watching your life crumble. He felt so angry that you settled and believed you deserved to live like this, barely scraping by. He felt so awful, and saw how you grew so tired of it all. He just so badly wanted you to remember him, so that he could once again talk to you like he did before.
You had one last customer before closing, going through your usual routine, this n that, the man offered you a drink. You stupid obliged drinking it, hoping it would make your time more enjoyable but you were wrong, so very wrong, and so very stupid for drinking that stupid drink. You remember some parts, you did your job, then it all went black.. You woke up after hearing knocking on your door. You jumped out of bed, confused. You remember seeing the man leave as you started to fall asleep but that's about it. Usually you never fall asleep after the work because you never do much, your mind started to panic. But the door opened revealing Remi smiling.
“Hey sleepy! Boss says it’s your turn, come on, get your cash!” she said smiling
“Right let me just..it’s in my drawer..I don't know why I fell asleep so fast I think alcohol makes me sleepy.” you said getting out of bed and kneeling in front of your drawer to get the envelope of cash you had been saving.
“Heh, same here. I never accepted drinks from clients..they never had good intentions with that!” she said coming over and sitting at your bed
“..yeah.” you said starting to feel that panic arise in your body when seeing the envelope was...gone.
“What's wrong?” asked Remi noticing you were frozen
“I- the money..It’s gone..he took it..” you said with wide eyes feeling as though you were about to sob realizing you had just lost thousands of yen.
“Don’t say that..it..it probably just got misplaced! Come on, I'll help you look!” said Remi getting up
You couldn't even respond because of the amount of panic you were in. Your heart was racing and you felt tears fall from your eyes. After about 15 minutes of looking, you two found nothing. Absolutely nothing. You sat on the floor with your hand over your mouth, again, trying to keep a level head.
What now..?
You thought to yourself feeling hot tears stream from your face.
“Hey..guys? Boss is calling for you Y/n..what’s going on?” asked Rema walking in seeing you covering your face, crying
“She was robbed by the guy who just left, he put something in her drink to knock her out while he looked around and took the money...she doesn’t have the money.” said Remi
Rema’s mouth parted in shock and pity.
How could you mess up something so easy? All you had to do was keep your money safe. But you even failed at that.
“You have to tell him, Y/n.” said Rema rubbing your back
“Yea..yeah, could you two just give me a second? I’ll be right out.” you said smiling while wiping your face
“Sure.” they said frowning and walking out
You fisted your hands, and grabbed your covers before screaming into them to muffle your sounds..
Okay..it was a couple of thousand yen...not too bad right? I can promise the money by tomorrow..I’ll pick up some sort of street job...yeah! That’s good. Everything is fine..it’s fine.
You thought to yourself before wiping your face on more time and slapping both sides of your cheeks to wake you up.
You got up and walked to the bosses door feeling the eyes of people on your back. You knocked on the door before opening it slowly, refusing to make eye contact as you went to stand in front of the man with your arms behind your back.
“Alrighttt, let’s see here, in the last four weeks you had a total of 37 customers, so you should have around 300,000 yen, correct?” he asked looking at his paper
“Yes.” you said still looking down
“Alright, just hand it to me so I can count and divide it, you can sit.” he said smiling holding his hand out
“I..I don-” you said before being interrupted by a knock
“Come in.” he said
“Hey sorry dad, Y/n left her money with me while she went out. Thought I should bring it to her. Remember, Y/n?” said Draken walking in with an envelop in his hand smiling as he came to stand next to you, as you nodded your head ‘yes’
“Oh, thank you Ken.” he said smiling and taking the envelop
Your mouth parted as you gave a confused look, Draken only smiled and gave you a thumbs up while his dad counted the money. You felt so guilty and shocked, and all you could do was just stand there, like an idiot.
“Here you are...120,000 back..” he said, patting the money on the table to make it flat, putting it back into the envelope and handing it to you
You hesitantly brought your hand to grab it, glancing over at Draken who gave you small smile
“Thank you-” you said to him seeing Draken was already opening the door to leave
You quickly followed after him as he walked into his room. Before entering his room he turned around and looked down at you
You felt your eyes soften as you felt as though you were about to cry again, you tilted your head and neck down biting the inside of your cheek to keep in your cry.
“I promise I’ll pay all of it back by tomorrow, all 300,000.” you said
“Do you ever give yourself a break?” he asked as you brought your head up to look at him seeing he looked almost irritated
“You didn’t even ask why I did it, you just immediately jumped to feeling guilty. And you don’t need to pay me back. Really.” he said bringing his hand to close to the door, but you stopped him by grabbing his wrist making his breath hitch
“Why?” you asked looking into his eyes
“You still don’t remember? Even after all this time we’ve spent together?” he asked smiling as you took your hand off his wrist
“Remember...?” you asked furrowing your eyebrows in confusion, but then it suddenly hit you
“I swear it wasn’t me! I didn't steal!” yelled a little boy with blonde hair as two cops stood in front of him
You tilted your head and walked closer, but still keeping your distance to hear. It was a winter day and you were on your way to the corner store to buy some snacks, but you were met with an interesting scene. You kept your hands in your pockets as you listened over to the boy screaming and pleading his innocence
“I wouldn’t steal something so stupid! What would a kid like me need a lighter for!! I don’t know how it ended up in my pocket! Lay off!” he yelled as the officer dangled the lighter in front of his face
A lighter?
“Keep it down! We know how troubled you kids are here! Especially with those tattoos!” yelled back the cop as the boy grew angry and fisted his hands, ready to punch the cop
“Hey!!!” he heard a voice yelled
“Hey wait a minute!” you yelled waving your hand smiling as you ran to the scene
“Can we help you?” asked one of the cops in a soft tone
The blonde boy grew quiet, and you saw his hands loosen as he looked at your smiling face
“Yeah, why are you two yelling at my brother?” you asked furrowing your brows at the two grown man
“...Your so-called brother stole a lighter from the corner store right behind you, where are your parents? We would like to have a word with them.” he said standing up straight
“Yeah, and talk about how they let their son tattoo himself already..” said one under his breath making the other laugh
You looked over at the boy growing angry, you gave him a smile..making him calm down.
“He said it was just an accident, I asked him to pick up a lighter from the store so that we could light a candle at our father’s grave! See!” you said digging into your bag to pull out a candle
“He probably felt pressured because I asked him to get it, so if you’re gonna get mad at someone, get mad at me!” you said as you started to fake cry
“It’s our father's death anniversary, and you're yelling at kids for making a mistake.” you faked cried
“Yeah!!” yelled the boy making you smile under your hands as the two officers became anxious, feeling bad for what they had just done.
“..we’re sorry. Please let us apologize.” they said slightly bowing at you two
“I don’t think we can accept it...you two also made fun of the dragon tattoo on his head!...dragons were our dads favorite animal. He risked his life fighting for Japan and you two are laughing at him! Is that how your mother taught you how to behave?” you asked pretending to wipe you tears as the blonde boy watched you in awe seeing you toy with grown men
“Please let us treat you both to whatever you’d like from the corner store as an apology!” they both said bowing lower making you smile and look back at the boy. You gave him a thumbs up as a smile grew on his face
“Fine..come on then?” you said as both the officers raised their heads, opening the doors of the corner store for you both
You and the blonde boy walked around the store, filling your baskets with all types of things. The blonde boy watched you in just pure awe as you walked around picking your favorite snacks, as he did the same, glancing at you every now and then.
“Here.” you said smiling at the cops
“Right!” they said frantically taking out their wallets as the boy placed down his stuff nervously, still watching you
“Oh and-” you said reaching your hand to grab the lighter from the officer and placing it into the bunch of snacks
You smiled, your hands were behind your back as you watched the officers pay for yours and the boys' food, placing them into bags for you guys too. You grabbed the lighter and your bag, as the boy did the same
“Mom told us to meet her at the cemetery steps, remember?” you said looking into the boys eyes
“..yeah, I remember.” he said smiling feeling his face become hot
“Let’s go then.” you said smiling and taking his hand as you two ran out of the store
After a bit you two stopped and sat on the curbside while you both chose a snack to eat.
“Here’s your lighter, you don’t have to stay with me by the way.” you said handing him the steel lighter
“..Thanks” he said
“Sure- what do you need it for anyway?” you asked smiling
“My boss asked for it.” he said putting it in his pocket
“Oh, are you in some type of delinquent group?” you asked looking at him
“Yeah..” he said smiling
“That's cool, what do you guys do?” you asked taking a sip of your drink
“We kinda just...like...do stupid stuff and fight..” he said
“Sounds fun, but...stupid.” you said laughing making him scoff
“Why’d you do it?” he asked
“Do what?” you asked back turning you gaze to him
“Come in to cover me. You could’ve gotten in a lot of trouble because of me.” he said with a frustrated face
“You’re right, I just wanted to, that's all.” you said smiling making his mouth part and cheeks redden
“You seem pretty fun too so I thought we could be friends or something..” you said nervously
“Yeah! Sure- We can be friends!” he said happily making you feel flustered
“Well then, it’s nice to meet you, my name is Y/n, yours?” you asked holding over your hand
“Ken, but you can call me Draken-” he said taking ahold of your hand gently as you gave him a closed eyed smile blushing
“where the hell did you find that candle and com up with that whole sob story Y/n?”
“Dunno, I saw the candle on the ground by a newspaper, I kinda just winged it- “
After that day you remember hanging out with Draken almost every other day. You remember him telling you how he and his close friends started their own gang and needed some sort of funding, and so you gave it to him, on his birthday.
“I saved up! You said that you and your friends needed some money to start off so that you guys could buy a flag or banner? Right? Well, here’s 30,000 yen for your birthday!” you said handing him an envelope and a small balloon.
“Are-are you serious right now Y/n?” he asked taking the gifts, opening the envelope to look inside to see the money as his eyes lit up
“Yeah, I babysit more kids now so I was able to put some aside for you.” you said smiling satisfied with his reaction
He didn’t even say anything, all he did was bring his arms around you upper body, hugging you tight making you laugh as you brought yours to hug him back
“Thank you- you’re the best! The guys will be so happy!” he said smiling while grasping your wrists in excitement. Your eyes traced over his face as they soften. You smiled.
“Likewise.”
And- after that, you remember the day you 2 separated as friends. You both sat on the curbside, you remembered you called him to come and see you. It was a winter night and the sun was going down.
“I uh..well I don’t really know how to say this without sounding cliche but-”
“What? Are you gonna confess that you’re madly in love with me or something?” he asked grinning, making you sweat drop
“Jeez be quiet...I’m trying to make this a memorable moment-” you signed smiling, placing your palms on the cold cement
“Alright let’s hear it then Y/n-!” he said bringing his hands to the back of his head as he laid down looking up at the stars
You only frowned slightly, you shifted your position so that you could sit beside him and have a good look at his face.
“You’re scaring me..” he said jokingly making you smile
“It was really fun the past year.” you said smiling as Draken shot his head up to look at you face to face
“The hell are you talking like that for?” he asked furrowing his brows
“My parents can’t afford living in any districts in Tokyo anymore, so we’re moving to another city… about 4 hours train ride from Tokyo so-” you said looking down at your hands on the floor
“So? You act like I won't be able to come and see you or you come and see me..” he said ducking his head a bit so that you could look at him
“Draken, train tickets are about 220 yen per person, I can't afford it, and if you came by to see me I'd feel guilty because you’d be wasting your money just to only see me for like an hour.” you said
“How can I be wasting my money on you? It’s not wasting if I wanna do it and see you, plus what makes you think it'll only be a couple hours?” he asked
“I’ll have to start working once we get there, so I wouldn’t have anytime...I wanna start saving so that one day I can come back to Tokyo and live here, so that I can see your dream come true of helping your friend create a ‘new era of delinquents’ you know? I’ll even help you guys if you want with financial stuff or something.” you said smiling at him
Draken bit the inside of his cheek. He wanted to tell you so bad how he felt but..
“Look, I have a feeling I know what you’re gonna say..just remember what you wanted to say and tell me later, okay?” you said placing your hand on top of his causing his eyes to widen
“...You’ll remember me, right?” he asked looking into your eyes deeply making your mouth part
“Yeah, I’ll remember you as long as you remember what you wanted to tell me. Cause I feel the same” you said smiling as a tear fell from your eyes
“good...I will.” he said smiling back and tilting his head and wiping it off your face
After the memories hit you, you stood there with wide eyes and tears, with your wrist covering your quivering mouth. You had completely suppressed your memories of Draken, and your feelings because you knew you wouldn't be able handle being apart from him for so long. And he did the same. You couldn’t imagine how unbearable it was for him to be waiting up like this. You looked up at him seeing his eyes were softly looking at you. You could do nothing but bring your arms around him hugging him, as he brought his arms around you to do the same. You were still such in shock.
“I never thought you’d end up in a place like this, living a life like this.” he said against your ear
“I don’t wanna see you like this, please let me take care of you like you did for me..” he said said tightening his grip slightly
You could only cry at his words, you didn’t even wanna try to speak because you knew it would only come out as a sob. Was it really alright for you to rely on someone so much?
He pulled back from the hug and looked at your face, seeing you were still crying as you nodded your head ‘yes’, he smiled and wiped them away with his thumb. The smile on his face...he looked so satisfied...and happy...happy that you finally remembered. Finally remembered him.
How can you be so warm in a place so cold?
Izana x reader (fluff-angst)
WC: 3.3k
CW/TW: Mentions of alcohol, mentions of abuse, mentions of drugs, mentions of blood.
AN: made this take place right before the battle between Toman and Tenjiku, No spoilers. Explanation at the end of the story just incase you dont understand
hey guys, thanks so much on the support/feedback on my last work. I appreciate it sm, and thank you for 5 followers 🥳 love yall fr. ANYWAYS, heres something i just made I hope you enjoy, and again i did not proof read this so I apologize for any mistakes, enjoy!
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“....Do you remember it?”
He felt his body go cold….cold like that one night..That one night when he met you.
The air felt sharp against the skin on your face. But this feeling comforted you in a way. Although it wasn't much, you looked forward to this part of your day, where you could just think and not worry for a couple of hours.
You fisted your hands inside your pockets to create some sort of friction and warmth. You nuzzled your chin and mouth under your thick zipped up jacket that was a little too big on you when the park you always come to came into view.
You looked down at your feet when suddenly you heard the squeak of a moving chain, you looked up. To see a boy sitting on one of the swings, slightly swaying back and forth.
Your eyes softened at the sadden look on his face, and so you sat on the swing right next to him, taking your hands out of your pocket to hold onto the cold chains. He looked down at his dangled feet, and you only looked out into the scenery, debating on what you should say to the young boy.
He was small but still a little bigger than you. His skin was tan and had light pale hair. He seemed upset, maybe even angry. You hadn't even noticed that your gaze completely turned to him. You saw his hands that were resting on his thighs, moving up to grip the chains of the swing as he looked over at you with his cat-like irises. His eyes, they captivated you. They were a color you had never seen before. A lavender. A really soft and beautiful lavender.
You two held eye contact for a good two minutes. When one of you suddenly decided to speak.
“What are you doing out here this late?” he asked in a slightly irritated tone still keeping eye contact with you
“I’m waiting for my mom to finish with work..” you said looking back out
“Then why don’t you just go home. You shouldn't be out here.” he said swaying a bit
“But..I’m always out here, and I don't consider that place a home.” you said swaying with him on your swing
You saw anger and frustration fill the boy's eyes. His eyebrows furrowed, and grip tightened on the chains as he looked at you with hate.
“Do you realize how spoiled you sound? You have a mom and a house. That you can go home to whenever you want. And you’re wanted! There's no reason for you to be out here and act like you’re miserable! Just go away!” he yelled at you
He expected you to cry, frown, get angry, give at least some sort of reaction, and it angered him that his words didn't bother you. Your eyes still softly looked into his. Eyes with a hint of pity. It angered him even more. Just as he was about to speak and yell again. He gritted his teeth and stopped himself when he saw you look down.
“That's not it..at all.” you said watching your feet dangle over the thin layer of snow
“Then what is it?” he asked jumping out of his swing and standing in front of yours
“Why do you want to know?” you asked looking up slightly at him making his breath hitch in confusion
“Because..” he said getting quiet and realizing his outburst was rude
“What is your name?” you asked, stepping out of your seat to stand in front of him face to face, him only a few centimeters taller than you.
“I..Izana..” he said finally getting a good and close look into your eyes
He felt his eyes soften. He felt pity. He felt bad. He now knew he was wrong about you, everything he assumed was completely wrong. Izana could see the hurt in your eyes, he could tell you were going through a lot, and you could tell the same with him. He backed away slightly once he saw you smile.
He felt his heartbeat stop for a moment seeing it. How could you smile right now? Why would you smile right now? After his hurtful words...After what you were going through at home..why?
“My name is Y/n. I’m 10.” you said holding out your hand to the boy with a shocked face
“10 too..” he said slowly, bringing his hand to grasp yours..
He felt his body warm up and mouth part. Your hand was warm, so warm and soft despite the cold air and chains that touched you. It confused him.
How can you be so warm in a place so cold, Y/n?
Izana thought to himself.
“Your hands are cold...here take my gloves...I don’t use them anyway. Do you come to this park a lot? I’ve never seen you here before..” you asked, reaching further into your pockets and taking out a pair of dark red knitted gloves and handing it to the boy in front of you. Looking into his eyes, waiting for a response.
“Thank..you...and you consider this a park? It’s just 2 swings under a streetlight..” he said softly taking the gloves from your hands gently
“Do you not? I thought it was..nice even though it’s not much, I come here every night.” you said
“You don’t get bored of it?” he asked
“It’s the best it’s ever gonna get for me.” you said tucking your hands into your sleeves
Izana’s mouth parted at your words. He knows you were going through something but what? Why was someone like you settling for something so...bad? Izana knew nothing about you except for the fact that you were overly nice. Overly nice to the point where it made him calm down.
“I can uh.. I can..take you to a better park! I know a place! Do you wanna come with me?” he asked bringing his arms to grasp you wrists tight making you surprised
Your eyes traced his face as a small smile grew on your face. Izana felt his face warm up at seeing you smile. It made him feel...good. Really good. It made him feel wanted. And he wanted to see you do it more often. He didn't even realize that because of your smile, a smile grew on his face as well. After a couple of seconds of looking into each others eyes, again...your eyes closed giving him a closed eyed smile as you said with a soft laugh-
“I do.”
Izana let out a scoff of excitement as his eyes traveled down to your hands. Letting go of your wrists and lowering one of his hands to hold your hand tight. He looked back into your eyes with a different look. A look where you finally saw light in his eyes, and it made them that much more beautiful.
“Okay. Don’t let go, just run with me.” he said as he started to walk and look back at you waiting for your reassurance
“Okay.” you smiled bringing your other hand to hold your hat as you two started to run against the cold wind
The cold wind hit your eyes, making you squint. Occasionally Izana would look back at you while running to make sure you were okay, and it really was one of the best sights of your life. Seeing his slightly flushed face from the cold wind looking back at you with a soft and small grin and messy bangs spread across his face. It made your eyes widen and your face relax. He is so pretty when he smiles. You wanted to see him smile more often, it made you feel loved.
The running turned to jogging, the jogging turned to fast walking, and that turned to slow steps. You two stood in front of the park, with your hands still intertwined. You pushed up your hat that was blocking your view slightly and looked up to a park. A park with 2 slides, 4 swings, monkey bars, rods, and all sorts of things. With bright and warm lights shining over it… There was grass instead of cement, colorful benches instead of dirt covered stools, and families with children instead of people with drugs. You felt the excitement grow all across your body. Your mouth opened as you let out a gasp of happiness. Your face flushed because of the overwhelming feeling. And Izana watched all of it. Didn’t blink once when looking at your happy face.
“Cmon! Let’s go and play!” you said gripping his hand tighter before letting go and running to the park
“Yeah!’ he said running after you with a big smile plastered across his face
Hour’s went by, but it only felt like a couple of minutes. You two let your minds run wild, pretending you lead a crew of pirates who had to fight against fish people, to running a spaceship that was battling against aliens, to pretending that the floor was some type of acid that could kill you making you two crawl around the apparatus like spiders till both of your minds and bodies grew tired.
You two had played so much to the point where the cold snowy air didn't even feel cold, but like an AC on a hot summer day. You sat on your legs under the apparatus, while Izana sat the same way, but was playing with the grass on the ground. You watched his fingers fiddle with the green strings. You wanted to ask something, but couldn't seem to put your thoughts into words.
“Izana-” you said looking at him, waiting for his eyes to meet yours
“Yes?” he said looking at you
“....Can we be friends?” you asked rubbing your hands waiting for his answer
His eyes widened..you wanted him. Not only did you want him, but you wanted to be friends with him, be beside him, be with him. It made his heart feel weird, almost fuzzy.
“Yeah! Let’s be friends.” he said smiling making you smile too
“What about you? Do you have a home?” you asked
“No..I uh..I don’t. I don't have a family.” he signed deciding to keep back his sob story
“Don’t worry, I get it. You can talk to me about it whenever we’re together again.” you said
“When will we be together again?” he asked tilting his head
“I don't know..but...I’ll always be at those swings, everyday. And when we get older..we can do other stuff in other places..like go to the beach..and bowling..you know?” you said smiling while counting things on your fingers
“Yeah okay..sounds fun..Y/n..I can’t wait till we get older!” he said smiling making you laugh a little bit
“Same!” you said
Both of your heads quickly turned when hearing an angry man scream, a scream you knew far too well.
“Damn it! You stupid little girl! Is this where you’ve been?! Huh?!” you both heard the male scream
“Who is that? Who is he talking to?” asked Izana keeping his eyes on the man as he walked closer and closer
“No..oh no..I’m late..” you said in a shaky voice
“What?” asked Izana
“Duck and hide. Izana please..” you whispered quickly gathering all of you stuff and crawling out from under the apparatus
Izana had never in his life seen such a terrified face. Your eyes were wide, and your hands were shaking...but not from the cold, but from pure fear. Usually Izana would protest at orders thrown so suddenly at him by people...but the way your voice and whole energy changed within a split second made Izana shut up and listen to you. He ducked under the piece of plastic, Hiding himself while still letting his eye poke out to see you.
“I’m sorry…” you said walking over to the man quickly looking down
“Look at me when you speak to me.” he said when suddenly you felt a harsh and sharp slap against your cheek causing your head to turn to the side. You brought your hand to your cheek, while turning back to look at the man. Izana’s mouth parted in shock and disgust. Just as he was about to run out, you spoke again.
“I’m sorry, it won’t happen again.” you said
“Damn right it won’t happen again! You think I like it when your whore mother calls me late at night telling me how ‘our’ kid isn’t home yet?! A kid I never wanted but I have to worry about?! Jesus fucking Christ. Bad shit always has to happen to good guys huh? I just wanted a fuck but this is what I get. he said as you grind your teeth in anger
“I’m sorry.” you said again bowing
Izana’s heart was beating so hard..he could feel it right against his ear. The amount of guilt and pity he was feeling was unbearable, he wanted so desperately to just get up and just defend you, in any way he could, and so he tried to change his position to get ready to run out and help you. But as he did so, his foot hit the halo metal causing a quiet bang, but since the street was quiet it could be heard. Loud enough for the angry drunk man with a bottle of alcohol in his hand to hear. Izana stopped dead in his tracks, and your eyes widened in fear.
“Are you..Are you with someone?” he asked in an angry and deep voice as he started to walk towards the sound
“No! It’s just the rabbit I found! I was feeding it under the slide because that’s where the most full grass is! It probably just ran away.” you said spilling out lies on the spot with scared eyes desperately hoping he would believe you.
“Yeah yeah, I don't care about your little rabbit. Now c'mon start walking, I wanna buy a beer before taking you back.” he said, slightly pushing you, making you lose your balance slightly as your father walked in front of you.
You took a deep breath of relief, as you started to walk you looked back seeing Izana had crawled out slightly, just enough for you to see him, and for him to see you. You saw he had eyes filled with worry and fear, you didn't want him to worry, truly. Because the night you had just spent with him...made your day...actually the rest of your life. And so you gave a soft smile and waved before placing your hands back into your pockets and turning your head forward.
Izana could only watch you walk away in confusion, in anger, in sadness, in every emotion there was. He could understand that you two were different sides of the same coin. And it honestly hurt him. Hurt him so greatly to the point where he swore to himself that he would do anything he can to not just see you smile, but to keep you safe.
And there was no way on earth he could fail at that, no way he would let you sacrifice your body for his well being like you had just done, no way he would let himself...right?
“When we first met...Do you remember it?” you asked looking into his eyes that were now filled with tears
He felt his body go cold….cold like that one night..That one night when he met you.
He couldn't respond, and only nodded his head, as his thumb wiped the blood that spilled from the side of your lips
“Wasn’t it fun?” you asked smiling
“It was.” he responded feeling his heart ache at your smile
“It was the best day of my life.” you said feeling a lump in your throat
“We can talk about that day later, let’s go to the hospital right now, okay?” he said holding his hand over your bloody wounds
“I think this is it, Izana.” you said laughing a bit as he shook his head ‘no’ at your words
“Don’t talk like that, please don’t talk like that.” he said, holding back his sobs, making his words come out shaky.
“Do you remember what I asked you? About wanting to be friends?” you asked bringing your hand up to lift his chin
He didn’t respond with words, but the frown on his face, grew, letting you know he did. Of course he did. Izana would never forget a moment between you two.
“What I really wanted to...say back then was...that I liked you, but we were only so small, and as...I grew up with you, I realized it was more. Sound’s kinda cliche right? Was it the same with you?” you said in between pauses of pain.
“Y/n stop making this sound like a goodbye, I won’t let it be a goodbye, okay?!” he yelled out of frustration, but again, you showed no reaction, like before when he first lashed out on you. It made his eyes soften when realizing the poison you two were in, was just like years before. Just like when you first met.
At the park, with 2 swings, and 1 street light shining over it.
Suddenly, all the thoughts in his head were stopped when he felt your embrace. Your arms wrapped under his arms and around his upper stomach, and you cheek against his collarbone and neck. He was hesitant, his arms still hovering over yours, not hugging you back yet. But you didn't mind.
“Don’t worry, I get it.” said slightly nuzzling yourself into him, breathing in his scent which you loved so much.
“I-”
Izana felt his heart beat so slowly.. at the familiar words you were speaking. But they were different from before, this time, you didn’t talk about being in his future...like you did before. His arms were still refusing to hug you back. His mouth still refusing to accept and return your love.
“How do you think things would’ve been?
“Y/n..”
“Do you think we would've ended up together, and had a family? Like a type of family we never had?”
“Y/n please..”
The feeling in your throat became stronger. You frowned and bit your inner cheek to keep in your sobs
“How can you be so warm in a place so cold, Izana?”
You heard Izana’s breath hitch at your words. His head slowly and hesitantly rested on yours, as you felt hot tears coat your scalp. And his arm’s fell to his sides, still refusing the fact that this is a goodbye.
But why was he refusing? He could’ve easily grabbed you and ran to the hospital. But instead he didn’t. He couldn’t. Because he knew deep down that it was already too late. Your body was cold. So cold, it was unsettling. Because your body was never cold. You were always warm, you were home for Izana. Izana knew if he tried to make it to the hospital, it would make his final moments with you a waste.
So what was he doing? He doesn’t know himself...All he knew was that he wanted to be with you till the end, but a part of him couldn't accept that this was in fact...the end for you two.
“Please don’t leave.” he said in a shaky tone against your head
“I’m sorry.” you said feeling the hot tears that were congested in your eyes, finally fall out
“Don’t say that…” he said
“Izana?” you said fighting against your sobs
“Yes?” he said
“I love you. And I always have.” you said smiling as you felt your final breaths.
Izana felt your grip on him loosen, and just as it did, he brought his arms and wrapped them over your cold body.
You felt it, you felt his embrace, and you heard him scream that he loves you back, You heard and felt it all. But you couldn't let him know that you did. You couldn't even keep your smile as you took your final breaths. But you did feel the hot tears run across your cheek. And down to your neck, as he cried and screamed in regret.
HIs body, still so warm..so warm against something so cold.
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Explanation SPOILER HERE FOR TENJIKU ARC: BASICALLY, Y/n died before the battle against Toman, it’s not in the ff(as to who killed y/n) because i wanted the reader to have some control, but in this ff I made it so that Y/ns death was another reason for Izana to wanna take down Toman and Mikey, so as i was making this i had the imagine that Kisaki would be to kill or have someone else kill Y/n to make Izana even more unstable and easier to manipulate, hence the whole fight thing so yeah lmao. Izana and Y/n thought of each other as home, and fell in love with the feeling of being with each other i guess? BUT in the end, Izana thinks he’s too late, and thinks that Y/n didnt hear/feel him, which just makes him even more frustrated and angry, so he feels guilty and ends up taking that out on others and taking loved ones from others too (hence being a motive for ordering for emma ot be killed) sorry if this is confusing
Time.
Kazutora x fem!reader (angst/fluff)
CW/TW: Mentions of suicide, (slight) mention of starvation.
MAJOR SPOILERS FOR VALHALLA ARC
Note! Explanation of story at end just incase you’re confused also i apologize for mistakes, i did not read this over. 🙆🏻♀️
WC: 3.4k
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You sat at the edge of your seat. Watching the clock above your teacher's head ever so closely.
“When you want to find the common di-”
Suddenly the bell rang, interrupting your teacher from his final words.
“Oh my bad, guess I lost track of time, anyways please remember to study for your quiz on Monday! I know it's a weekend, but save some time for academics!” said your teacher as your classmates packed up their stuff to leave.
Today was Friday, meaning it was the day you get to visit Kazutora at juvie for the first time after Keisuke's death, and your attempt. It was 3:30, and visiting hours started at 4 to 5 every Friday for inmates. Running to the metro takes about 5-7 minutes, and walking from the station to the actual juvie takes about 20 minutes, while the ride lasts up to 10, meaning you should arrive there at around 4:10. And there's no time to waste.
You ran out of class, ignoring your fellow classmates goodbyes. You held your book bag tight as you ran fast to the Tokyo station. Seeing you arrived just on time you jumped in just before the 3:30 o'clock train leaves to a different side of the district where Kazutora is being held. You held onto the rail beside you to keep yourself steady as the train started to move .
You felt scared but happy to see Kazutora. He most probably didn't know you would be coming, he probably thought you would at most write letters to him, like before, but again...Kazutora believes that you hate him now. You didn't know what you were going to say to him. Draken told you that he already visited him while you were in psychiatric hold for a bit, and he told you that Kazutora was planning on killing himself. Draken did not specify if he told Kazutora about your own attempt but you didn't worry too much because you were healing, and you now had hope.
Your heart was racing, as the train came to a stop. As the doors opened you ran, and fast. Dodging people to not hurt them and almost stepping on things you shouldn’t be stepping on. You checked the time to see it was 4:01, and you still had about 10 minutes worth of walking/running to cover.
You were breathing heavily when the Juvenile building came into view. You checked the time again to see it was 4:11. You jogged to the doors of the building despite the fact that your thighs were burning from the amount of cardio you had just done.
It's all worth it.
You thought to yourself opening the doors.
Kazutora sat on the bed of his bland and colorless cell. He signed as he looked up at the ceiling light before turning his position to look at the side of the wall. He held his pillow tight. He knew it was visiting day, and his heart was anxious despite the fact that others had already been called to see their visitors, and there was still no call for him. He didn't even expect any visitors.
Kazutora didn't know if he wanted to see you or not. He’s spent so much time alone in his cell thinking. He wondered if you had figured out the other reason for him stabbing his best friend, you could read people, but he knew you had a hard time reading him. He felt his heart ache. He was scared of the karma that would hit him because of it. Maybe not even Karma, but just some sort of punishment, for causing pain to the soul that cared for him so much, and for not being there for that soul when she needed it the most. Which... ultimately lead to your attempt, which Draken told him about during his visit. He shut his eyes as he remembered Draken's words.
“I don’t wanna hear you say there is no point anymore. Because there is, and it’s kinda frustrating and irritating how you can’t see it even though it’s right there. She’s in psychiatric hold right now because she was close to ending her own life. After Baji died, and you were taken away, Y/n couldn't take it anymore, and no one could see it because she just...she just kept it in, like you do. She was going to die on Baji’s birthday if I wasn’t there to make her throw up the pills she took. Her and I may not be blood related siblings, but I know she’s been through a lot and has always gotten over it just fine, you know that...but this time...I got really fucking scared.”
Kazutora felt his heart drop to fucking hell at Draken’s words. He felt his breathing stop as his mouth parted.
“I know you love her, I'm not sure in what way but I could care less about that. I know, Kazutora. All those times you came crying to the brothel, crying into her arms, begging for some type of help and she helped you, lended you her body for you to cry on, I’d hear all of it. I know you’re hurting, but if you go, I don't think she will be able to live with herself. She’ll blame herself for not being there for you like she’s always been. Do you understand?”
He felt his body throb from literal physical pain. Kazutora was feeling and getting the punishment he deserved right then and there.
“You owe it to her, whether you like it or not, to stay alive because she's doing the same for you. And once you’re out of here, you should finally grow up. Let her cry into your arms for once. She’s your best friend, right? Because she deserves for those efforts to be reciprocated. And you deserve to see what she’s gone through because of everything that happened. Take care, Kazutora.”
Kazutora was lost in his own mind, to the point where he couldn't even register that one of the guards was calling his name from the cell door.
“Hm? I’m sorry I wasn't...uh, paying attention. What did you say?” he asked sitting up nervously
“You got a visitor, kid. C’mon get up.” said the man unlocking his cell
“A- visitor?” he said quietly getting up from his bed with shocked eyes
It was already 4:15. Kazutora grew anxious at who his visitor could be. He was sure it wasn't you, your school is too far for you to make it here in time. There would only be a couple minutes to spare if you did try. Could it be Draken wanting to give him a word of advice? Or maybe Chifuyu.. Maybe Mikey? God, who could it be. It made him feel even more congested and trapped than before.
As Kazutora walked, he looked down at his feet avoiding people's gazes. He saw the backs of his fellow juvenile delinquents from the side of his eye. His heartbeat became stronger, and he felt it thumbing in his ears. God, he didn't know what to expect. He was just so...frustrated.
“Here, you have until 5.” said the guard, taking off his hand cuffs. His back was facing you. You grew anxious bringing your hands to rest on your things and skirt, waiting for him to turn around and look at you. You watched as he rubbed his wrists and sat down at the stool still not looking at you. You rubbed your hands together under the table separating you both, as the guard walked away to patrol. Your eyes followed the guard, not even noticing that Kazutora had turned to look at your face.
Kazutora felt his face get hot at the sight of you. You had a school shirt on, with a dark blue tie and a sweater vest, Your hair tied into a low and messy bun with some of you natural and dyed hairs falling out framing your face. He felt his whole body go warm as you turned your head and gave him a nervous smile as a small blush formed. He didn't know why he was scared to see you, because every time Kazutora had the chance to see you, he instantly felt better, no matter what.
You two, and the other inmates and visitors, were all separated by a piece of plastic with a vent to capture sound better. On the side there was a subsection with an opening to the other side where you could pass things through. Such as notes, toys, hygiene stuff, and extra. You brought your hands to the table holding them.
“Hey...sorry I’m late.” you said as you saw Kazutora snap out of his gaze
“Oh no I-, please don’t be..” he said waving his hands frantically, clearly nervous
“I had to run about 2 miles to get here..” you laughed trying to not tense up
Kazutora felt… stupid, why would you do that? Just to see him? It just made him even more confused...confused about how he felt towards you.
“Just to see me? But..why?” he asked without thinking and just speaking, giving a regretful and embarrassed face after asking his question.
“Hm? Oh well it's simple really…” you said bringing your hands to rest in between your thighs on your seat
“I know that I've told you that I don't like saying these words to people because it sounds like some sort of goodbye but it’s time I grow up from my past, and stop keeping things in..so…it’s because I love you... I thought that was fairly obvious but I don't wanna mess up like I did last time. I want you to know that I do love you and care for you.” you said giving him a closed eyed smile, this made Kazutora realize that you deeply regretted not telling Keisuke that you loved him more often when you two still had time. He felt his heart ache. He felt so guilty and gross.
“So, I’m gonna try and start saying that more often..” you said laughing to break the silence
Kazutora was still speechless at what you had just said. He couldn’t seem to process it, and he wanted to say it back but for some reason he just couldn’t. He was afraid that something else might slip out. He truly didn't think he was worthy of your love and care. It became quiet. Again.
“I made you a bento box with your favorite things, I made sure to put some extra meat. Cause you always used to ask for that when I would make bentos for study days with you and Keisuke. And don’t worry! It’s allowed and you can have the kitchen hold it for you till you’re ready to eat it for today's dinner, the guards said so. And the container is microwave safe! So you can warm up the entree section. There’s rice and BBQ meat, little octopus shaped sausages and sauce with it! Oh and a salad with sesame dressing on the side, and desert which is just mochi. Every Friday I'll come by, and give you the new bento and you'll just give me back the old one, so that I can wash it and so we don't have to waste stuff.” you said smiling
Your hand dung into your bag, and you pulled out a wooden bento box sliding it halfway through the subsection, but Kazutora hung his head low. You smiled, trying your best to make things right, as silence grew loud again.
“I can also bring some mangas for you, I know you like shounen and also horror.. So I can buy some and give them to you so that you aren't bored! This week's shonen jump is good… It’s about a boy who is trying to save his mom, and ends up traveling across lands, with close friends, to get this special potion that will heal her, but I’ll make sure to look for some good horror manga too...I know you like stuff about folk tales, that sound okay?”
Silence.
After a few minutes you spoke again.
“I decided to let my hair grow out cause I kinda miss having longer hair…There's this really pretty girl in my class who has long blonde hair.. Like Emma’s but longer and more wavy.. What about you? Anything you wanna do to your hair when you get out? I’ll take you to get it done-”
Silence.
The time now at 4:40. Kazutora bit his lip out of frustration, refusing to look up at you.
“Oh! What about I bring over a sudoku book, so you can work on your academics as well! I can teach you how to play, it’s fun once you get the hang of it. Or I can bring just a simple literature book, it’s really up to you, I think both are great.”
Silence.
“Maybe markers so you can draw on yourself when you’re bored? I remember you doing that while I would tutor you and Keisuke. I can get big and small ones, and ones with different colors too. Also a sketch book, since you’re really good at drawing.”
You were met with silence again. You felt your heart ache. Your eyes looked up at the clock and saw it was 4:47. You both were running out of time. About half an hour went by of your speaking, you giving a couple minutes in between waiting for him to speak back, but nothing. You clenched your hands into fists, biting your bottom lip as you looked down at your hands, resting on your thighs.
You felt a strong feeling in your throat, the feeling you get when you’re about to sob. You were so frustrated, and you were trying to keep a level head. It was hard and you just wanted to fucking cry.
“I- '' you said before closing your mouth realizing you were about to let out a whine. You didn't wanna cry, you wanted to say something but you were afraid that if you did, it would just come out as a sob.
“I know it’s hard on you-” you said holding back your sobs while still looking down at your hands, letting your hairs cover your face
“If you don’t want me here, I promise- that I’m fine with that...but~” you said in between pauses keeping your sobs in, but your last word came out shaky making Kazutora shoot his head to see you about to cry.
He felt his heart ache once again.
“But please….jus-just say something. Anything. At least acknowledge that I'm here.” you cried quietly while tensing up your shoulders
Kazutora frowned. This was his punishment. Seeing you cry, and not being able to hold and comfort you like he desperately wanted to. He opened his mouth, but closed it soon after when nothing came out. Not even a squeak, or whine, or breath.
“I-”
You heard him say. You looked up with tears in your eyes seeing his face of desperation.
Kazutora wanted to speak so badly, there were so many thoughts in his head he just could not push one out of his mouth, and he was afraid he might say something he would regret. He wanted to respond to everything you asked him, add commentary, tell you that you looked pretty today, say thank you for the food you made him. Tell you to not waste your tears on someone like him. Say sorry for making you feel uncomfortable because of his silence. God he just-
“I love you-” he choked up and said in a louder tone causing your eyes to widen and mouth to part from shock at his sudden outburst.
He was avoiding your eyes as he spoke.
“I- thank you, thank you so much for the food! Really! And I would really love whatever and everything you bring me.” he said, quieting down towards the end.
“I...can’t put my thoughts into words… and I don’t wanna say something I’d regret. All this time I’ve just been lost in my own mind. I just want you to know that..that I really am in- that I really appreciate you. I want you..to be here, and I’m so...sorry for making you cry.” he said in between pauses of frustration and embarrassment
You felt your body get warm, your heart beat was strong and you could feel it in your finger tips and temples. You opened your mouth to say something before Kazutora spoke again.
“I..wanted to.. Wanted to help you...in just some way...after seeing you cry for the first time...with Baji in your arms….I shouldn't have stabbed Baji...I took the person you loved more than anything...away from you.. Because I was j- because I was so stupid, and still am. Even when you’ve done...so fucking much for me...I- and I took him from you...I just don’t get it… how can you have any empathy towards me anymore.. It doesn't make sense. I took so much from you… I killed Shinchiro, and I killed Baji. You loved them both...Mikey loved them both, why do..why do you even have any feeling towards me?” he said looking into your eyes with tears
Your eyes softened at him. You took a small breath before saying-
“I thought I already told you why, Kazutora. I love you.”
Kazutora felt a tear run down his cheek. He knew how much thought came behind those simple words.
“I don’t need a reason to love you. Just like I don't need a reason to be hungry. It’s just there, and will continue to be there, you know what I mean? Same thing with everyone I love.” you said
His breath hitched. The time now at 4:52.
“The only difference is I was in love with Keisuke. I still am in love with him. Even though he’s not here anymore. I know you might think I love him and Shinchiro and Mikey because they saved my life and helped me. But I was only so little. I had no concept of it. So was Keisuke. So was Mikey. Keisuke had no reason to come up to little me while I was starving on the ground practically dying. He just did it. He was too young to understand love. You think he understood his feelings for me the second he saw me? Or even with Mikey or Shinchiro. Of course not. They were just focussed on saving my life at the time. We discovered the love that was involved later. Even if it was too late to say anything about it. It took Kei and I about...hmmm..5-7 years maybe...to understand what we felt toward each other specifically. It is different with everyone. The love is just there, it’ll just be understood when the time is right. Like when your hunger just hits you. So when you ask me why I love you, or care for you, or forgive you. I just can’t give you a simple answer, even if I wanted to….because there's so much. Too much.”
Kazutora understood your words. He really did. It made so much sense to him and he just wanted to scream.
Why? Well..
“The time will come where you believe that you're worthy of someone else's love and even your own, and even worth loving someone else yourself. So don’t worry. I’ll wait. I’ll wait as long as it takes. Even if it takes all the time in the world, okay?” you said smiling at him leaving him with shocked eyes
“Alright times up! 5 o'clock!” yelled a guard
“Well, I'll see you next Friday, okay? I’ll bring over some manga, oh! And don't forget the bento!” you said getting up from your seat as Kazutora did the same keeping his hands on the table as the guard came to cuff them
“Y/n I-I’m…”
No. He can’t say it. He can never ever say it. Why? And say what?
Because he will never be him. He can never be like him for you, and he was perfect for you. He was the one there for you. He had the time to love you. He was the one. He could never even compete. Not after what he did. Not after the jealousy and envy grew and brewed inside him towards him. He is filthy. Not worthy of your love. Right?
But someday, he desperately and genuinely wants to allow himself to be loved, and to love. Kazutora will forever be longing for that moment. And when he can love, and allow himself to be loved, he wants it to be with you.
But till that time comes..
“I’ll...really be looking forward to it.” he said biting back his words and smiling softly
“Likewise.” you said smiling as you both parted your ways, at least for the time being.
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Explanation/note: when i wrote this, i made y/n be a ‘foster’ siblings with Draken and childhood friends with Mikey and Keisuke. << Reason being is because i gave her a backstory where she was neglected and ran away, hence her having a more naturing personality. Y/n and Keisuke were a couple till he died but Kazutora always loved Y/n so it’s a love triangle in a way? I don’t know, but Kazutora grew envious of Keisuke in this ff which ended up being a motive to stabbing him during the fight, to which he later regrets and gets punishment for. Y/n in the story doesn’t know that so that’s why Kazutora can’t accept her love for real because he doesn't know if Y/n will really forgive him after that, and Kazutora won’t be able to learn/accept love till he admits what he did. Holding in that secret, and being in love with Y/n makes him feel frustrated and act out. And obviously time is the theme of this whole story. Kazutora at the end decided to avoid his feelings because the way things are going right now fro the time being for him are fine because he doesn't believe he deserves anything more. But that can only last for so long, so he’s gambling with his relationship with you. He thinks of it as his punishment for now, not being able to tell you how he really feels, and not being able to comfort you.
ANYWAYS hope you liked it, sorry if it’s confusing.