:P

i rant about my mental health and stuff here...

[galaxy--brained]

hii! i created a new blog to talk about mental health stuff soo...

intro post!

im willing to answer most questions, im an open book and an oversharer so feel free to ask anything..

umm diagnosed? with psychosis (first episode gone on for a year and a half), anxiety and depression. I also scored high on my autism test but that was put to the side bc psychosis could cause those things too...

sidenote: the psychiatrist im seeing cannot actually diagnose me with anything, so who knows what i have

sooo. yeah..

(tags below)

trigger warning tags are: #tw suicidal ideation, #tw depressing thoughts, #tw self harm

other tags i will use include #actually mentally ill, #actually psychotic

#galaxy thoughts for all of my posts

[galaxy--brained]

showering is such an experience when u have psychosis...

like, the water and everything and it overwhelming with sensations, and then you can still hear house sounds over the sound of the water, but muted so who knows if someone's breaking into your house or not, and if they are your naked in the shower so how do you fight them offf? the actual washing and then drying yourself is an effort that your limbs do NOT want to cooperate with, too much energy needed for that and you confuse shampoo and conditioner and then there's ants in the conditioner and then the sound of the water running sounds like whispering in your ears and there's too much sensations and you have no idea what's real and not....

and then people call you gross for not showering everyday???

[this-is-ocd-ocspec-saneism]

If you have any form of OCD that's considered taboo, you can't talk about it online at all.

"I have harm OCD", the responses will all be "that's horrible, how could you want to do [bad thing] to anyone?!"

"I have P-OCD", the responses will all be "stay away from kids"

Moral OCD? "If you need validation then you're probably a bad person, so..."

It's like they're ignoring the whole intrusive part of intrusive thoughts??? Especially with any kind of sexual ocd. They equate P-OCD with predator, which makes it impossible to actually talk about how it affects you.

This OCD saneism and paramisia (because it assumes that bad thoughts are the same as bad actions).

Don’t claim to be a disability advocate if you don’t advocate for ALL disabled folk. You can’t pick and choose your activism.

[souwrites]

I will always mourn the version of myself I could've been.

[galaxy--brained]

coping strategies are weird bc what do u mean i've done 10,000 steps today walking around my kitchen

[johnlennonirl]

Here I am, posting something similar like the fibro post... this one goes out to my psychotic folks🫶

[galaxy--brained]

going off of my meds and im gonna keep this blog as a diary of sorts to document it. im like the science experiment for anyone else wanting to try going off meds...

now, why am i going off of my meds? lots of reasons. i actually enjoy SOME of my psychotic symptoms, and the rest i dont mind dealing with. i don't see psychosis and 'losing my mind' with as much stigma as other people, like its not a good thing but its not the end of the world either... umm i enjoy my life WITH psychosis more than without it and as someone with suicidal ideation thats kinda important. its kinda like some thrill seeking thing, it makes life more interesting and some of the symptoms are positive for me. and suffering: in my head, if i don't fight for my life then its not worth it. Thats my meaning for life - suffering. whats the point of life if you haven't fought for it? and im getting better right now, and im suffering less and its taking away any meaning in my life. so, yeah.

this could 120% end up really badly. like, best case scenario i don't have to take meds again and learn to live with psychosis. expected scenario? i get two weeks in, freak out and go back on stronger meds for a longer time. And worse case scenario? i die. risking my life for this, but personally? i think its worth it.

ive also been doing a bunch of research into stuff, but any advice for this would be appreciated! (except a blatant don't do it)

[schizophreniaconfessions]

Symptoms of Schizophrenia

Schizophrenia is a long-term mental health disorder that causes a range of different psychological symptoms. A person with schizophrenia may not have any outward appearance of being ill. Or in other cases, the illness may be more apparent, causing bizarre behavior. Symptoms and signs of schizophrenia will vary, depending on the individual. Schizophrenia is characterized by withdrawal from reality, delusions, hallucinations, and emotional disturbances, among many other things. Delusions are the most common symptoms of schizophrenia and hearing voices is the most common hallucination among people with schizophrenia. People with schizophrenia often have problems functioning in society, at work, at school and in relationships. Signs and symptoms of schizophrenia are generally divided into three categories — positive, negative and cognitive. Positive symptoms, also known as psychotic symptoms, are symptoms that appear, which people without schizophrenia do not have. The “positive” symptoms doesn’t mean they are good, it means they are things “added” to your personality because of schizophrenia. Negative symptoms refer to elements that are taken away from the individual; loss or absence of normal traits or abilities that people without schizophrenia normally have. Cognitive symptoms involve problems with the person’s thought processes. POSITIVE SYMPTOMS INCLUDE: - Delusions - Hallucinations - Disordered thinking or speech - Disordered behavior - Suspiciousness - Making up words without a meaning (neologisms) NEGATIVE SYMPTOMS INCLUDE: - Social withdrawal - Loss of motivation and interest in everyday activities - Appearing to lack emotion or difficulty in expressing emotions - Inability to feel pleasure - Reduced ability to plan or carry out activities - Neglect of personal hygiene and difficulty in taking care of themselves - Loss of appetite COGNITIVE SYMPTOMS INCLUDE: - Memory problems - Difficulty paying attention - Problems with making sense of information People with schizophrenia commonly also have affective (or mood) symptoms, like anxiety and depression which could lead to thoughts of suicide or suicidal behaviors. THE ONSET OF SCHIZOPHRENIA: In most people, the onset of schizophrenia occurs in early adulthood. Loved ones and friends may spot early warning signs long before the primary symptoms of schizophrenia occur. Warning signs include: - Social isolation and withdrawal - Irrational, bizarre or odd statements or beliefs - Increased paranoia or questioning others’ motivations - Becoming more emotionless - Hostility or suspiciousness - Increasing reliance on drugs or alcohol (in an attempt to self-medicate) - Lack of motivation - Speaking in a strange manner unlike themselves - Inappropriate laughter - Insomnia or oversleeping - Deterioration in their personal appearance and hygiene While there is no guarantee that one or more of these symptoms will lead to schizophrenia, a number of them occurring together should be cause for concern, especially if it appears that the individual is getting worse over time. This is the ideal time to act to help the person (even if it turns out not to be schizophrenia). ~ Schizophrenia Confessions

[schizoetic]

Being permanently mentally ill doesn't mean you'll be permanently unhappy

[diserbillyti]

Been playing a lot of "psychological horror" games lately, and man

nonschizophrenics will simply never understand that "what if it was all in the person's head?" will never be scarier than a monster that actually fucking exists.

oooh what if you're crazy :o what if you hallucinate a goobly gobbler? well mate you fucking deal with it. rent's due monday. but an actual real goobly gobbler coming for my gnuts? that's different.

[galaxy--brained]

just spent like 6 hrs straight doing nothing but making this blog bc im in a hypomanic episode.... im literally shaking with hunger and i can't keep my limbs still and i have like 20 drafts now

[nothing-is-ever]

how to cope with hallucinations they keep getting worse !! and how do I keep my handwriting legible ut keeps getting worse and my teachers get mad because my creative writing has just started turning into nonsensical ramblings I don't know what to do anymore

please guys it's not funny anymore

[galaxy--brained]

so.. im probs not qualified to answer this bc i haven't had psychosis in a year, but im going off my meds and have been doing research, soo i'll answer it anyway ( feel free to disregard this if it doesn't help )

white noise is helpful for hallucinations, or noise cancelling headphones, as well as taking a video of them or talking to them, sensory things are helpful too, distraction works wonders , being around comforting things, talking with someone and doing reality checks if u have someone to do that with

(this website talks about it a bit)

with creative writing... its gonna be challenging. but as long as u try that's all that matters. umm grounding techniques might help, but also going slower and reading over your work at different times of the day, and just writing, even if it makes no sense... u can come back later and try to figure out what was going on, proofread it later but just making sure you do it (website)

umm handwriiting is a tricky one... again, going slower, maybe typing instead if u can? but thats about the only thing i can think of for this one

also talking with ur teachers about your issues if your comfortable with that?

hope this helped even a little bit...

[galaxy--brained]

wondering... does anyone else have hypomanic episodes (ranked 8 on the mood scale, lasts for a couple of hours) due to their psychosis? is that a thing? bc thats what my psych said i have, but i have doubts...

[grub-muncher]

[grub-muncher]

This comic only mentions different hallucinations based on sensory modality (which sense it impacts) but there are other ways to categorise hallucinations such as the theme of the hallucination or the severity of the hallucination

Hallucinations don’t only affect schizospec people and can happen to people without a psychotic disorder or any mental illness/condition

[riotd]

it’s so funny when you warn people that you’re mentally ill and they get surprised when you act accordingly

[riotd]

nobody teaches you how to go about life when you didn’t expect to be alive this long