I thought I changed but here I am still doing the same shit.

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@souwrites
I thought I changed but here I am still doing the same shit.
Whenever I start thinking it's getting better, it gets worse.
I will always mourn the version of myself I could've been.
Mentally, physically and emotionally exhausted.
Wanting to be everything, turned me into nothing.
It's always me who tries to get to know someone, never the opposite.
I'm always the one who misses, and never the one who's missed.
I'm always the one who loves, and never the one who's loved.
I'm always the one who tries, and never the one tried for.
Am I lazy or am I just done with life?
It's ironic how I did my best to not end up alone, just so I actually end up alone.
There are a lot of things I wanna say, but I know even if I say it all nothing is going to change.
I betrayed and lost myself because of my desperation to be loved, just so I end up being unloved and alone.
I wonder if I ever come to your mind or if you even remember who I am.
I keep wanting you more and more, while I fully know you'll never be mine.
As I was about to send you "I miss you", I realized whether I sent it or not, you don't care anymore.
Why do I keep repeating the same mistakes?
I'm the cause of my misery.
Sometimes it feels like I want everything and nothing at the same time.