Wanderlust

My names Briana and I'm into TV shows

[darrenpillowscriss]

To the customers who apologize repeatedly for “bothering” me, or offer to clean up their own spill if I just get them some paper towels, or walk all the way around an aisle so as not to disturb me when I’m blocking their path, I just want to reassure you that you are NOT the annoying customer we complain about in retail. You are very kind and you clearly respect me and my time and I appreciate you. Also I am happy to help you with whatever you need and it is not at all a bother.

To the customer who shouted “EGGS?” at me from twenty feet away because apparently it was just too much trouble to come a few steps closer and use a complete sentence like “where are the eggs, please?”: fuck you.

[dankmemeuniversity]

[youjokebut-deactivated20180818]

gamer: did you play this game as a kid

me: no

gamer: i must be way older than u

me: actually i was just poor

[alittlecheesy]

Thank you for this

[lucidnee]

you ever look back at your tweets like wow…I was high as hell

[lucidnee]

high…as hell

[sweetdickheadass]

I was riding behind one of these today

[lucidnee]

THIS IS THE TRUCK

[the-real-numbers-deactivated202]

Hell world

[itsthatunique]

#been there #done that

[stefani-germanotta]

Jonathan Van Ness in Queer Eye seasons 1 & 2

[yesterdaysprint]

The New York Times, New York, January 3, 1897

[bathtimefunduck]

History in a nutshell

[thefingerfuckingfemalefury]

“What do women think about women?

WE ASKED A MAN”

[tinderfinds]

This is the funniest thing to ever happen to me.

[gay-jesus-probably]

for y’all who are also bad at math but too lazy to bust out a calculator: 45 weeks is eleven months, just to make it clear how much she’s fucking with him

[failnation]

Someone went to town with sticky lizards in this Kmart.

[thecutespook]

They threw some of them so hard they exploded

[reinelefey]

RANT TIME

I work retail.

We sell these things in eyeball form for Halloween.

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, PLEASE. PLEASE

Fucking PLEASE STOP THROWING THEM ON THE CEILING.

We get in trouble when this happens because it’s a loss of merchandise for us. The sheet rock in the ceiling tiles DOES SOMETHING to those little fuckers, and it is like SUPER GLUE. They come off so HARD AND PRACTICALLY MELTED TO THE CEILING.

WHich damages the ceiling tile. Guess who is responsible if a ceiling tile falls on a guest?

Fucking us.

I had to climb a twelve foot ladder in order to pull these fuckers off, and the ceiling tile CAME WITH THEM. Which gave me a LOVELY black eye and covered me in God knows what what in that fucking drop ceiling.

ITS NOT FUCKING FUNNY. IT’S ACTUALLY A DANGER FOR THE EMPLOYEE CLEANING IT UP.

This has been an ANGRY PSA.

[whitepeopletwitter]

[jaybybyby]

ISN’T THIS THE

[gahdamnpunk]

[dimetrodone]

Imagine being Friend Bear and the embodiment of friendship in Care-a-Lot and some fuck named “Best” Friend Bear suddenly comes into town

[sartorialadventure]

[cow-teeth]

dark bernie

give me the forbidden healthcare

[gluten-free-pussy]

I was high off my ass last night and had this dream where I was in this dense ass forest and sitting there was a tall woman. She was so tall I couldn’t see her face but she was wearing gold and I was like “uh…hi?” And she said “I made you, do you know that?” And I nodded and she was like “I hear your thoughts. Why do you hate my creation? Why do you try to destroy yourself? I made you perfect as you are. Please don’t break my heart”. Then she started crying and it flooded and I woke up with fucking heart palpitations like what does it Mean™️????

[animution11]

[royalhans]

polar opposite of this post

[valtsv]

i call this the “when you’re exploring the gothic castle that you’ve been warned to stay away from by the locals because it’s rumored to be the home of one or more vampires after dark” look

[valtsv]