Gotham FUCKING City, Everyone

UNREALITY. Just the blog of a Gothamite trying to live her life.

[gaslightgatekeepgotham]

DO NOT INTERACT IF:

- You’re a racist/homophobe/transphobe/etc. The last thing this town needs is your brand of bullshit. Nobody likes you.

- You’re one of THOSE creepy true crime freaks. Stop telling me what color the Riddler’s underwear is, I don’t want to know.

- Double DNI if you’re a ‘’’Joker fan’’’. We get it, you’re an edgy teenager who idolizes a serial killer, you’re so cool and alternative.

- Jervis Tetch.

- Jervis Tetch.

- Edward Nygma.

- Jervis Tetch.

- THAT FUCKING ANON FROM METROPOLIS. YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE. GTFO.

Might add more as time goes on.

[gaslightgatekeepgotham]

for FUCK'S sake

I'm only gonna say this once.

unless you are committing crimes and/or also violently unstable, THEY ARE NOT GOING TO SEND YOU TO ARKHAM FOR TREATMENT. just google mental hospitals in this city, there are at least three other ones!!

[gaslightgatekeepgotham]

SO, dude I was suffering from insomnia AGAIN, and decided that a LATE NIGHT WALK in GOTHHAM was a GOOD IDEA.

guess what? (it's not that much of a guess) I ran into JOKER of all people, thank whatever god was smiling on my that night.

BUT BUT, I SAW BATMAN. I have literally never seen him before, but I saw him BEAT the hell outta joker! literally I have one of his teeth now, I have no idea what to do with it. but I have that now.

getting back on track BATMAN. I saw him, and also I think one of the other guys?? I'm from central city, I moved because wayne tech is sooooo good, that I didn't mind the whole super villain thing. I live in central city, I've been in like 5 time distortions. I'm technically 54, but I am like 23 or something. time is WEIRD.

I was not expecting to see batman whole heartedly that was crazy.

welcome to Gotham City, babes.

[gaslightgatekeepgotham]

WERE URL NEIGHBOURS KINDA??

- @gothamgaslightgatekeep , Whomst is very confused

oh shit! what's up, fellow Gothamite? You holding up okay after the Fuckery that was last night?

guys, check out this blog if you want the perspective of someone else living in Gotham. Good stuff!

[gaslightgatekeepgotham]

you're alive! thought you died in that weird fog lol

buddy, I live in Gotham, the air quality can't do shit to me.

[gaslightgatekeepgotham]

to the asshole setting off fireworks directly outside my apartment at SEVEN IN THE MORNING

I hope Calendar Man burns your house down.

[gaslightgatekeepgotham]

date went well :) aside from the fear gas leak, but we had a good time lol. did you and Waylon end up having fun?

ughhhh, fucking fear gas! every time, I swear to god.

as for me, well.

I was a little anxious about asking Waylon if he wanted to come...I ended up scoring a massive hoodie and pair of pants from the thrift store, and they fit him pretty okay. I felt bad he had to hide any part of himself, but it was the only way he'd agree to leave the apartment with me.

the staff were pretty okay. genuinely I think they were just happy we weren't here to rob the place. all in all, it was a real nice time.

[gaslightgatekeepgotham]

tamed the crows near my apartment. now if someone tries to mug me I have a murder to defend me! :D

hey, that's pretty sick. good on you, anon.

...so long as you're not a crow themed supervillain. don't do that, anon. that'd be cringe as fuck.

[gaslightgatekeepgotham]

pizza was good, met a nice guy too. thanks for the pizza place rec lady, and for unintentionally introducing me to my date for next week. 👍

aw FUCK yeah, get it, anon!!

[gaslightgatekeepgotham]

can officially scratch calendar man off of my rogue's bingo. now i'm eligible for a free dinner.

anon, I am so, so sorry. tell you what, I'll DM you a real nice hole-in-the-wall pizza place I hit up every now and then.

[gaslightgatekeepgotham]

Hey Lady, are you okay? We haven't heard from you in awhile. ):

huh? yeah, we're alright. there just hasn't been a lot of crazy stuff going on.

I mean yeah, Calendar Man pulled some fuckshit a couple days ago, but it WAS mother's day...

we're okay, anon, no worries.

[gaslightgatekeepgotham]

Can i kill that anon who said that about Waylon? can i?

please do. oh my god, I'm so angry. if it's not the stupid fucking Gazette article, it's this shit. all of you are lucky he doesn't use the computer.

[gaslightgatekeepgotham]

same anon. what did I say wrong? I just said he's hot!

right after calling yourself a 'monsterfucker' in relation to him. what the absolute fuck is wrong with you?

hate to break it to you, anon--that's a human man! Waylon's a human being with a skin condition, and you're Othering him the exact same way people who are scared of him do.

get the fuck out of my ask box.

[gaslightgatekeepgotham]

killer croc is soooooo hot, I've always been a monsterfucker but oh my god. I want that man to wreck me. <3 <3 <3

....

you know he can't fucking stand people like you, right?

[gaslightgatekeepgotham]

Omg, you have KILLER CROC living with you??? You're so lucky!

LOL, ikr? yeah, Waylon's pretty great.

[gaslightgatekeepgotham]

Lady there's a shop in Gotham that sells good-luck charms. I haven't been involved in anything dangerous or illegal since I bought one! I'm usually not one to believe in that kind of stuff but it has worked surprisingly well! Maybe buying or making your own good-luck charm will make rogues [Aside from Waylon, (￢‿￢ )] leave you alone!

I DON'T APPRECIATE THAT LITTLE SMILEY YOU PUT, ANON. WHAT'S THAT FOR, HUH.

in all seriousness...fuck, I'll try anything at this point. why not, right? if it's gonna work anywhere, it'd be in Gotham City.

[gaslightgatekeepgotham]

Hello Lady, I'm a curious Metropolis citizen. I got curious and tried doing some research on Waylon but there's a lot of conflicting sources. Some say he's eaten and murdered people while sources with more evidence like your blog humanize him. I've also seen people ask whether he's a meta-human or just has a skin disease. If you're uncomfortable answering that's fine, I'd just like to be well informed before my visit to Gotham.

might as well answer this, especially since the Gotham Gazette published that shitty thinkpiece.

has he done bad things? yes. but think about it this way (and he's said this himself so I'm not being rude or putting words in his mouth): who's going to hire him when he looks like that? he's done what he's needed to do to get by. living in the sewers wasn't an aesthetic choice, it was a necessity. until he started staying with me, it was the only place he had.

it's a skin condition, by the way. he's not actually an alligator or crocodile or whatever.