why am i like this

mentally ill, scream is shrill

[dogpuppy]

I wish I could have heard you sing this… I bet you have a beautiful voice

[bunniope]

if you want pluto to be a planet so bad get out there and fuck it with your penis so it gets big and pregnant. otherwise don't talk to me about it

[unaliver]

I'll unalive you

[hiveswap]

Unaliver it's okay to say kill

[unaliver]

No it's not on account of the spell the nefarious wizarder put on me

[nefariouswizarder]

heh heh heh….

[unaliver]

So it is you, wizarder. After all these years. My greatest nemesiser. Why did you do this to me wizarder

[nefariouswizarder]

unaliver, i simply made you who you are. who you always should have been. i, the wizarder, will wizard and you, the unaliver, will unalive. you could never be anything else

[unaliver]

But the two of us could have been something other than the sum of our parts, wizarder. And yet you choose to curse me, wizarder. Because you are scared of commitmenter

[nefariouswizarder]

maybe we could be something new…if there’a still a chance… i know i’ve done wrong but… i’d unalive to try again… with you, unaliver

[unaliver]

My lover......! ah, but no, i simply cannot trust one who would place a curse on me! I long to be in your arms but I simply cannot while I bear the mark of how we parter.

[nefariouswizarder]

i reverse my nefarious curse, even a nefarious wizard can change his robes…come unaliver, together we can be unalovers…

[unaliver]

Ah! Kill!! Kill!! Death!! It's so good to be able to user the common tongue anew....

Now that I have seen that you are serious about your love, I am willing to try and right our wrongs... For I admit i am not blameless in the matter of our squabble either.

[nefariouswizarder]

as you would say, my lover…

love winners…

[hellsitegenetics]

String identified: ' a a t' a t a t' t acct t t a a t …. t , a. At a t a. gatt . t t a a, a a. aa a . , t a, a a , t a, a. c atg t t t c a tg t ta t at, a. A t c t c , a. ca a ca ctt a c tg … t’a t a cac… ’ g t… ’ a t t aga… t , a ……! a, t , cat tt ac a c ! g t a t cat a t a at. a c, a a a ca cag …c a, tgt ca a… A! !! !! at!! t' g t a t t c tg a…. tat a tat a at , a g t t a gt g… at a t a t att a t. a a, … …

Closest match: Neoneuromus ignobilis isolate Gutianshan chromosome 7 Common name: Dobsonfly

(image source)

[unaliver]

Ough a creaturer

[nefariouswizarder]

nefarious dobsonflier

[unaliver]

Our son.........

[nefariouswizarder]

our beautifuler baby boy….

[intered]

I ate your beautifuler baby boy. Very taster

[nefariouswizarder]

[dragons-locator]

No it's not on account of the spell the nefarious wizarder put on me heh heh heh…. So it is you, wizarder. After all these years. My greatest nemesiser. Why did you do this to me wizarder unaliver, i simply made you who you are. who you always should have been. i, the wizarder, will wizard and you, the unaliver, will unalive. you could never be anything else

dragons

DRAGONS LOCATED

[unaliver]

My son got unalivered by intered and your ass is counting dragons

[unaliver]

I HAVE OUTLIVERED THE MALICIOUS SON EATER INTERED FUCK YOU SON EATER INTERED

[unaliver]

NOBODY MESSERS WITH THE UNALIVER AND HIS FAMILY

[nonexistent-triangle]

the irredeemable pervert is generally well regarded among their friends for their insightful thoughts and all around pleasant demeanour

[assaultmystic-archive]

whats cool about being trans is my parents are totally right. i did kill their beautiful son. im the thing that animates his corpse in an ever more convincing parody of a happy girl. i devoured him from the inside out and now there is nothing left of him and he is dead dead dead and there is only me, with my hollow eyes and dark eyeliner and long hair, and my big smile. my limp, effeminate gestures belie the marionetting of the boy they loved. my fagginess is his death. already his body becomes a fitter home for my parasitism in full; the tits, the hips, the thighs. sorry about your kid. thanks for the biomass <3

[mybisexualwife]

[the-muppet-joker]

Your beauty never ever scared me

Mary on a, Mary on a cross

[the-muppet-joker]

[virtualgirladvance]

F

[ace-disgrace-on-the-case]

U

[knight-errant-girl]

N

[toa-arania]

G

[robotgirlservos]

P

[flareonfloof]

[phantomrose96]

I like when fic length/book length/movie length is its own punchline

[phantomrose96]

characters: Ah, I'm so glad that's all over now :). But luckily that's done and dealt with and we can all resume our normal lives now :)

fic length: Chapter 9 out of 48

[phantomrose96]

[medievalspecs]

[memorilore]

[epilepticfox]

Odysseus: Thank you for the concern, but brother, I can assure you Our journey is almost done.

Song 11 of 40

[brucefromfamilyguy]

[shoezuki]

obsessed with the canadian ghoulmaxxing acecel

[draconym]

A couple weeks ago I was practicing my owl calls on a night hike and I successfully called in a barred owl. My owl call is pretty good, but I've never called an owl to me from afar because I rarely do night hikes and so I don't get much chance to. I had expected to be really excited about this, especially since two of my coworkers are really skilled at owl calls and they don't usually get a response, much less a full conversation, but instead I felt so guilty. I eventually had to start ignoring this poor deceived owl that was following my call through the park. I felt like I catfished him.

[draconym]

I was gonna say "who among us would follow an inhuman voice in the forest yelling HEY, HEY YOU WHAT'S UP?" but then I remembered this website has me pigeonholed as Most Likely To Be Taken By The Fae. So. Yeah fair enough to this owl, I would probably do the same.

[immareblog]

[draconym]

[sorreleater]

where is that post that’s like “*HR guy who’s made of hands skittering in* no touching”

[sorreleater]

[transthaumaturge]

@vague-magnus-archives

[godlikedyke]

im sorry i said that i wanted to replace your tendons and muscles with thin spectral cords of myself so i could draw you up and pull you around like my puppet. in retrospect that was kind of a weird thing to say and most people don’t wanna get possessed or whatever. could i instead coil myself around you like snakes and move you how i want with more brute force? is that more normal

[runawaymarbles]

Discussion question: do people kink on your job, and are you personally capable of doing so?

People think my job is sexy, but I do not

People think my job is sexy, including me

People do not think my job is sexy, but I do

Nobody thinks my job is sexy, including me

I am unemployed

Voting ended onMar 11

Context: reading fics where my job is used as a porn premise, and I find it very funny because I cannot imagine being horny under such circumstances.

[runawaymarbles]

[runawaymarbles]

[runawaymarbles]

The reviews are in

[encryptidarchivist]

count dracula? uhhh ok. one

[zamczysko]

WRONG! searching "dracula" on letterboxd alone gives almost 600 results! and that's just movies! thousands of draculas are upon us

[kozlarz]

cmon they just started… give it some time

[encryptidarchivist]

thank you.

two

[vihola]

(insp.)

[intersectionalpraxis]

The collective meow when they say "Ramadan" 😭