my teeth hurt

im 23. mostly reblogs. may contain sensitive content. if i followed you out of the blue it's probably for one of my sideblogs. asks r open

[evilsanlang]

it's okay if you as a lesbian want to fuck the straight blonde popstar but you can't be pretending she's a lesbian too girl at least make it a lesbian corruption kink or some shit

[evilsanlang]

"taylor swift is a lesbian" check your house for mold

"I can fuck the heterosexuality out of sabrina carpenter" questionable taste, but much more respectable

[twentybrokenipodclassics]

[skaldish]

I think about this a lot.

[computationalcalculator]

may I add also “butt dial” vs “booty call” vs “bottom text”

[clitorius-maximus]

Hand job vs manual labor

[ohgreatblackbunny]

Tags deserved to be seen

[gaysymmetrical]

is dort a tumblr sexyman yet. i saw the movie at 6 yesterday but i wanted to wait until official release day

[gaysymmetrical]

we all want to believe that trans people committing violence is a spiders georg situation where it's just one guy eating all the spiders but that's because they never found the bodies of all those men i killed back in the 80s

[the-real-seebs]

Someone linked me this beautiful poster, and I'm just really impressed.

My contribution:

[squeakitties]

i just rescued a pill bug they’re gonna reward me with a million pill bucks i’m gonna be a fucking pillionaire

[giant-isopod-overlord]

💵🫲}([[[[[)

[squeakitties]

I JUST MADE ONE PILLION DOLLARS

[micro-usb-deactivated20230625]

[micro-usb-deactivated20230625]

my friends hate this video so much i don’t even have to repost it in discord anymore i’ll just be in a voice call and go “wouldn’t it be crazy if the joker could beatbox” and they all tell me to go kill myself

[gaysymmetrical]

uh. what

[sugarmage]

[bellringermal]

[thyrell]

[fendalan]

Way too funny not to share

[ms-demeanor]

[optimisticrunawaygalaxy]

[thekaumidyking]

Trust Gru

[memories-of-ancients]

Silver figurine depicting a dragon or a tiger, China, 18th century

[d897gyhaujfkedw7r9euwijkjfkdl]

Lady in drive through had a bearded dragon sitting on her boobs and she held it up and let me pet it. killing myself canceled

[d897gyhaujfkedw7r9euwijkjfkdl]

art is not my strong suit but this is my best recreation of what i saw when i opened the window. i have to emphasize that she was supermodel levels of gorgeous

[helltiervriska]

scratch doodle commission for @gaysymmetrical !!

[befikra]

i bet it feels good to be an underwater plant just swaying in sync with the flow of water

[txttletale]

[after starting a fistfight and losing] haha okay man let's all put this behind us and sign a peace treaty between you, me, and my slavering rabid dog. what? oh don't worry the treaty says he'll stop mauling passersby. has he agreed to the treaty? i don't see how that's relevant. i will never ever put him on a leash btw just throwing that out there. so yeah anyway, trucies?

[seimsisk]

wait wait are we representing israel as a rabid dog and iran as a perfectly reasonable stranger? is that were we are at?

[txttletale]

well one of these governments is willing to sign a peace treaty after winning a war of aggression waged against it by a much larger power and one of them is repeatedly sabotaging even temporary ceasefires because it is politically untenable for it to stop massacring lebanese civilians with bombs. you can do the over the top Tired snarky above it all tone all you like but the facts of the situation are incredibly stark

[tamamita]

If even your greatest ally knows you're trying to fuck up all prospects of peace, then it is absolutely reasonable for everyone to believe you're rabid dogs that need to be put on a leash

[frankhermann]

actually annoyed by long distance friends again. i want to go for a walk i want to get drinks i want to sit in the grass and write i want to go to the fucking store together

[lakevida]

was waiting for the elevator in the middle of taking out all the trash and a resident came out of her apartment like OH GOOD! maybe i can show you this weird bug that was in my BEDROOM! so i follow her and she gets out a magnifying glass and shows me a dead pillbug on a napkin. im like thats incredible ma'am thank you for letting me use the magnifying glass. she says "i told my creepy kids about the bug and they didn't even call me!" and this sentence is tunneling into my brain so bad theres a physical pressure

[thememedaddy]