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this blog hates donald trump
forehead press during missionary tn?? cupping your face in my hands and ragged breathing and pressing our foreheads together for a moment during a pause in missionary and you’re still inside me and everything in the world feels so so far away except for you tonight?????????
i hate when the teacher’s like “write about a bad time in your life” like i ain’t tryna get a social worker up my ass, thanks tho fam
This ain’t no joke I had to write a essay about what your scared of so I did it (I was scared of growing up and where my life was going) it was great got a 100 but then I got sent to councilors office and was sent to therapy cause they thought I was suicidal and on the verge of breaking…Apparently they ment like spiders or some shit…
Also like, not everyone finds that at all useful or cathartic.
“Write about some difficulty you’ve experienced personally.” “Aight fam let me just break down into tears and skip the rest of my classes.”
Yes! I had a psych professor ask us to discuss outloud the hardest thing that ever happened to us literally two days ago and I said “you realize the position you’re putting us in? I feel obligated to lie to not only save my peers the awkwardness but also because I will find no relief in answering honestly but rather anxiety. The hardest thing in my life is having people repeatedly tell me I should find some sort of catharsis in reliving my trauma so someone else can feel pity for me!”
The whole class backed me up because they didn’t want to either! Those kind of exercises are only helpful for people who don’t have any real past/current issues– which is no one btw.
On par with this are those fucking self-assessments where they want to to be optimistic and positive about the future. You’re sitting there drowning in college stress and anxiety so bad you can’t look another human in the eye, fighting depression so that you can eventually achieve a piece of paper that might get you a better job if the economy doesn’t tank itself (guess what, it did), and the most optimistic thing you can think of is that the class ends in 20 minutes.
#why do they do this though ~ @inqorporeal
OH! I KNOW THE ANSWER TO THIS!
There’s a WIRED article that explains the history behind this practice.
Basically, this guy named Jeffrey Mitchell had a traumatic experience, then after months of PTSD, he told a confidant about the event that traumatized him. Retelling the event to a confidant was so cathartic for Mitchell that his PTSD went away after. He did a bunch of research to see if his personal experience of catharsis and relief could be replicated in other people suffering from PTSD. Years later he published a paper proposing a formalized psychiatric treatment revolving around this idea that expressing a traumatic experience helps relieve it. The paper was so influential that the whole psychiatric community adopted “critical incident stress debriefing” (CISD) as a standard treatment for PTSD.
Unfortunately … it’s bullshit.
Not only does the CISD treatment program Mitchell came up with not help the majority of patients who try it, but it actually makes PTSD worse in the majority of patients who try it.
The WIRED article explains why:
CISD misapprehends how memory works…. Once a memory is formed, we assume that it will stay the same. This, in fact, is why we trust our recollections. They feel like indelible portraits of the past.
None of this is true. In the past decade, scientists have come to realize that our memories are not inert packets of data and they don’t remain constant.
…the very act of remembering changes the memory itself. New research is showing that every time we recall an event, the structure of that memory in the brain is altered in light of the present moment, warped by our current feelings and knowledge.
Basically, Mitchell waited until he had some emotional distance before trying to recall the memory, and he had full control of the situation. It was fully his decision. Nobody was pressuring him to talk about it. So he felt safe. Thinking about the memory from a place of safety allowed his brain to re-contextualize the memory as harmless.
Conversely, pressuring a patient to recall a traumatic memory, particularly when it’s still fresh in their minds, makes the patient feel very unsafe. Recalling a bad memory in this unsafe context only serves to re-traumatize the patient.
[link to the whole article]
basically, there’s a big damn difference between choosing to confide in someone you trust and being pressured to make a public spectacle of your trauma
THIS JUST IN: Forced Public Recalling of Trauma Not As Helpful As Voluntarily Processing Trauma In A Safe Space
Artist: Tim Brierley
Posting this for my soul cat Kenzie (she passed a few years ago but I still think of her every single day) and for everyone else who has lost someone they love. ❤️
overhearing my neighbor rant on the phone top of his lungs and his friend is saying something in calm voice and he goes NO. NO NUANCE. STOP SAYING NUANCE. MY BOSS NEEDS TO DIE
If the trash pickup people stop doing their job for two weeks you'd be throwing a fucking tantrum. Same for the janitors who keep your office spaces and bathrooms clean. (And that's before the various illnesses start to spread all over your city from the build up of pathogens.)
The people responsible keeping our spaces clean (and thus, mostly disease-free) should both be paid more AND thanked more.
“scientists don’t want you know” is a phrase that always cracks me up because if you actually meet a scientist they will be shaking and crying like an overstimulated chihuahua with the need to let you know
i cannot emphasize enough how important it is that you should ideally give birth in a fully equipped and staffed medical facility or if you insist on giving birth through an alternative method you should be within minutes of a hospital and i mean under 5 minutes if you’d like me to be really fucking frank
like i can get on board with so much feminist theory and stuff, truly, and i do acknowledge that obstetrics and gynaecology as a field holds blind spots that are egregious (e.g. infant and maternal mortality in the black community) but there is no empowerment in risky birthing practices that our foremothers, and i’m not mincing words, often suffered through. birthing is natural, but it is not “easy” or even “innate”, it is best practiced guided and witnessed by those that know what to do in an emergency. you are not reconnecting to any innate feminine nature by practicing dangerous birthing practices—you are recreating a time when the bodies and lives of women barely mattered and it was expected that death would/could occur at insane and tragic rates.
this is a hill i will spend the rest of my days fighting on because while i am not interested in birthing children myself, i have an incredible passion and interest in the field of labour and delivery. it’s been one of my greatest joys to play even a small part in delivering neonates. i do not want anyone to risk their babies over a deeply, deeply misguided idea of free birth being “the natural way” when natural is not always synonymous with the safest way.
So many people think it's either midwife or doctor. It's not. Have your midwife or doula in the hospital room with you, I promise the doctors don't give a shit. Hell, you can have her do the delivery itself and just have the doctors there as emergency backup! But for the love of your baby, go to the fucking hospital.
yup. a lot of hospitals are willing to work with you to realize your birthing plan as much as they can within safe limits and parameters. my hospital is closely and highly allied with midwives all up and down the coast, with the explicit instruction to call the midwife when we know a labouring patient is about to deliver so we can respect their plan. genuinely, you can have almost any kind of birth you want—just make sure that there are qualified professionals in attendance, and it’s not just midwives or OBGYNS you need. you have no idea when you’ll need a respiratory therapist on call, you have no idea when you will need a blood transfusion within minutes or risk certain death, L&D nurses do not have the same training as NICU nurses if a baby declines rapidly. it’s a literal thousand things that can go wrong and you should be in the best place for them to go wrong.
Actually yeah, while I'm still thinking about this.
@creatingblackcharacters is hosting another CBC Book Club, starting on 06/14/2026. We'll be reading "Medical Apartheid - The Dark History of Medical Experimentation on Black Americans from Colonial Times to the Present." I would recommend it.
I'm putting my previous thoughts on this thread below:
#I can't go fully into this rn #but I think there should be much more than a footnote about misogynoir and Black maternal death rates #even IF you have someone to advocate for you. a doula a midwife or a family member #that doesn't negate the racist practices that go on in hospitals #Especially pertaining to Black and Native pregnant peoples #up to and Including straight up just taking your child away. #advocacy is one thing but you have to discuss the actual options presented #because as is hospitals are staffed by people. who may be racist #and if so will leave you to death or worse
Dealing with fruit flies makes me sympathetic to how the theory of spontaneous generation held on for as long as it did. Where the hell did you little shits come from. Get out of my fruit
So many anti-science (and particularly, anti-vax) people apply their diet and orthorexia culture to medicine. That is one of the things you will hear over and over again. “I actually read the ingredients of this vaccine and it has [SUBSTANCE] in it so I will not let my child get vaccinated.” which is exactly how these people grocery shop, I’m sure. No understanding of chemistry, no research into why that ingredient is in there, what it is doing to help make the vaccine safe and effective and what amount would make it toxic to the human body. They will be like “Oh my god, there is hydrochloric acid in there! I’m not going to research into why it is in there (in small amounts as a PH stabilizer), it’s hydrochloric acid (the human body creates it naturally) and they’re trying to inject this into our children!”
i would almost love to meet one of these people and say ah yes i love drinking Dihydrogen Monoxide with heavy amounts of Citric Acid, Glucose and Limonene (this is a very terrible lemonaid) these ingredients are water, the sour of a lemon, sugar, and lemon flavoring
or just asking if they know the chemicals in a lemon.
Unironically, I saw someone say to avoid citric acid in food products (it’s a common preservative and acidifier, very safe in moderation, occurs naturally in fruits and vegetables) because it is made of black mold. Which is partially correct, Aspergillus niger produces high amounts of citric acid when fed properly BUT the mold is completely filtered out of the final refined product. SO MANY FOOD PRODUCTS ARE MADE WITH MOLD, this one doesn’t have actual mold in it, you are fearmongering about the evils of mold while it lives all around us all the time!
Reminded of that tiktok that said we weren't supposed to have access to yeast.
It lives on our bodies and the food we eat but it’s against God to harness it’s power, I guess.
A lot of younger people have no idea what aging actually looks and feels like, and the reasons behind it. That ignorance is so dangerous. If you don’t want to “be old,” you aren’t talking about a number of years. I have patients in their late 80s who could still handily beat me in a race—one couple still runs marathons together, in their late 80s—and I lost someone who was in her early 60s to COPD last year. What you want is not youth, it is health.
If you want to still be able to enjoy doing things in your 60s and 70s and 80s and even 90s, what you want to do, right now, is quit smoking, get some activity on a regular basis (a couple of walks a week is WAY better for you than nothing; increasing from 1 hour a day of cardio to 1.5 will buy you very little), and eat some plants. That’s it. No magic to it. No secret weird tricks. Don’t poison yourself, move around so your body doesn’t forget how, and eat plants.
If you have trouble moving around now because of mobility limitations, bad news: you still need to move around, not because it’s immoral not to, but because that’s still the best advice we have. I highly recommend looking up the Sit and Be Fit series; it is freely available and has exercises that can be done in a chair, which are suitable for people with limited mobility or poor balance. POTS sufferers, I’m looking at you.
If you have trouble eating plants because of dietary issues (they cause gas, etc.) or just because they’re bitter (super taster with texture issues here!), bad news. You still want to find a way to get some plants into your body on a regular basis. I know. It sucks. The only way I can do it is restaurants—they can make salads taste like food. I can also tolerate some bagged salads. On bad weeks, the OCD with contamination focus gets so bad I just can’t. However, canned beans always seem “safe,” and they taste a bit like candy, so they’re a good fallback.
If you smoke and you have tried quitting a million times and you’re just not ready to, bad news. You still need to quit. Your body needs you to try and keep trying. Your brain needs it, too. Damaging small blood vessels racks up cumulative damage over time that your body can start trying to reverse as soon as you quit. I know it’s insanely, absurdly addictive. You still need to.
You cannot rules lawyer your way past your body’s basic needs. It needs food, sleep, activity, and the absence of poison. Those are both small things and big asks. You cannot sustain a routine based on punishment, so don’t punish your body. Find ways to include these things that are enjoyable and rewarding instead. Experiment. There is no reason not to experiment—you don’t have to know instantly what’s going to work for you and what won’t, you just need to be willing to try things and make changes when things aren’t working for you.
You will still age. Your body will stop making collagen and elastin. Tissues you can see and tissues you can’t see will both sag. Cushioning tissues under your skin will get thinner. You’ll bruise more easily. Skin will tear more easily. Accumulated sun damage will start to show more and more. Joints will begin to show arthritis. Tendons and ligaments will get weaker and get injured more easily, as will muscles. Bones will lose mass and get easier to break. You’ll get tired more easily.
But you know what makes the difference between being dead, or as good as, in your 60s vs your 90s? Activity, plants, and quitting smoking. And don’t do meth. Saw a 58-year-old guy this week who is going to have a heart attack if he doesn’t quit whatever stimulant he’s on. I pretended to believe it was just the cigarettes, and maybe it is, but meth and cocaine will kill you quicker. Stop poisoning yourself.
Baby steps; take it one step at a time; you don’t need to have everything figured out right now. But you do need to be working on figuring things out.
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You will be unsurprised to learn that someone already accused me of ableism for suggesting that people not smoke, move regularly in ways their body can tolerate, and eat plants.
Do NONE of you eat canned beans with maple and ham? This is at every Safeway on Earth as far as I can tell, and if you hate most vegetables, these are a lot sweeter because of, you know, the added sugar. Eat candied plants—glazed Brussels sprouts, candied yams—if you can’t stand the regular kind.
Oh, this is true, but you aren’t familiar with how lazy I am. I will work 36 hours straight for WORK—I’ve done it before and god willing I will never have to do it again—but cooking or preparing food has never been something I’ve devoted time to. (Partly because of hours and demands of work.) I wasn’t taught to cook because (explanation of my mother) and I didn’t even scramble eggs until I was 19, and then I set them on fire the first time I tried. I gave myself nutritional deficiencies twice during residency. The prospect of having to know what’s in my crisper AND use it before it goes bad despite the attentional difficulties, when my contamination OCD focus is already very bad, and KNOW when it’s gone bad when my only reference point is my also extremely OCD father, is untenable. I don’t enjoy cooking or making salads, and they’re pretty affordable at local places (in the sticks), so for me the math maths. However, it is definitely a good idea to learn to prepare salads and those of you with less baggage than me should definitely give it a shot! Salads can and should taste good! Raspberry vinaigrette and some candied walnuts or pecans plus some blue cheese crumbles = good shit. Who cares what plants you put it on. Except not iceberg lettuce.
I once saw it observed on Tumblr that adding good tasting things you like to a salad you're making does not cancel out the nutrition in the vegetable matter
(might've been OP. sounds like the kind of thing you post)
That wasn’t me, but I co-sign it 100%. I’d rather have patients eating salads that are completely covered in those “high fat!!!!” salad dressings that news programs love to freak out about than not eating plants. Do what you need to do to the plant to make it enjoyable to eat. Caramelize your onions. Put hollandaise sauce on your asparagus. Glaze your Brussels sprouts. Make! Life! Worth! Living! And make it possible to keep living it.
Penitence as a lifestyle is both unnecessary and often actively harmful.
I have some guided movement recommendations!
Julie Hunter’s movement_with_me on Instagram is a great resource for low-energy movement/exercise strategy. Julie was bedbound with ME/CFS following a COVID infection, and she used her experience as an athletic coach to figure out ways to reintroduce tiny doses of movement into her schedule, interspersed with purposeful rest, in such an effective way that she is now effectively cured and has returned to her pre-COVID baseline. She offers paid personalized movement coaching, wherein she creates a flexible multi-week schedule for clients to follow. Her Instagram account is a totally free treasure trove of advice, and if you scroll back a ways you’ll find videos demonstrating very simple starter exercises with a range of adaptations for different levels of ability.
Justin Agustin has an Instagram account and a YouTube channel full of “gentle functional exercises for everyday life,” including lots of workouts for beginners, seniors, and people living very sedentary lives. Many of his videos demonstrate techniques for beginners alongside a more advanced option, and he heavily stresses to only do what you are able to instead of pushing yourself further and potentially getting hurt. There are also paid versions of his work — a website and an app — with monthly challenges and a nutrition guide (and possibly more, but I haven’t used the paid version so idk).
And a guided flexibility recommendation!
David Thurin’s movementbydavid account on Instagram is all about gaining and maintaining flexibility through both active and passive stretching. He is incredibly flexible now, but he frequently mentions that it didn’t come naturally to him: He has consistently put time and effort into becoming more flexible, and you can do it too! Being flexible helps prevent injury, and, like fitness, is something you have to work to maintain and will lose if you don’t put in that work. Also like fitness, it’s something you can get better at, even starting from scratch.
All three of these people emphasize that you can follow their videos without special equipment, using things you probably already have (like a chair, a wall, a counter, and weights like a water bottle or can of food).
If you have access to an oven, I can't recommend enough just cutting whatever veggies you like into bite sized chunks, drizzling some olive oil over them on a sheet pan, adding generous salt and pepper, and chucking it in the oven at 400 for 15-20 minutes. Carrots, potatoes, cauliflower, brussles sprouts, broccoli, asparagus, its all delicious this way and takes zero babying. You can eat it standing up at the stove straight off the sheet pan if you don't wanna do more dishes. Chuck some meat on there too, or pop some beans in the microwave and you've got a full meal, and if you have a big pan you can easily cook enough for four people at a go this way. Leftovers are good cold and can be eaten straight out of the fridge.
I think part of getting better is complete ego death. Like you’re not above setting a timer for 5 minutes and focusing on a task. You’re not above doing a very simple 3 minute workout to start. You’re not above reading for 10 minutes a day when you first get out of your reading slump, even if you used to read for hours. You’re not above starting slow and then building up to where you want to be/where you once were. What you are above is total inertia. Doing something really is better than doing nothing. Radically accept where you are, radically accept your limits, and go from there. Don’t let your ego get in the way.
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someone made a website where you can declare your favorite pokemon & why. let's all see if every pokemon is someone's favorite... Together
:) every pokemon is someone's favorite
it actually is insane to me that it's a cultural norm for men to suck ass at getting their wives/gfs gifts. especially when they whine about how they have no idea what women like.
man, you're not getting a gift for Female Domestic Partner. you're getting a gift for Natalie, a person whom you have been married to for 7 years, whom has lived in the same home with you for a decade, whom speaks to you every day about her thoughts and interests, whom you presumably love, and whom you can directly or indirectly ask what she wants. it's not that you don't know what half the human population wants, that's irrelevant. you don't know what Natalie wants and that is inexcusable.
does anyone else think about how the sky can literally rock any colour it wants to
red, orange, yellow? sunset/sunrise
green? the rarest and not one ive seen personally but it can happen
blue? classics of sky
indigo? violet? twilight babyyy
pink? also shows up at sunrise/sets
black? night. get goth with it
white? grey? her clouds
do you love the Fucking colour of the sky. bitch
Green and pink sky from when the auroras went nuts a few months ago!!
Joy and whimsy detected! The sky is joyful and whimsical!