Have Your Way
Rafael Barba x Reader
summary: (Y/n) develops a relationship with Barba, but her life turns upside down when he leaves- causing her to open her heart up to a new love at SVU until his sudden return.
Barba was always a shadow in (y/n)s life. He was the ADA assigned to SVU after all. At first, she was reluctant to get close to him. She knew the pattern of ADAs were only temporary.
The members of the squad even started to come and go. Nick, Fin, Olivia, and Rollins had become the only constants in her life since she joined.
That was until she caught herself getting butterflies every time she saw Barba in court. The way he moved and spoke made her blush. She, for once, wanted someone more permanent to be in her corner.
A couple of small moments between the two made her want to know more. It wasn’t until she got the courage to go to his office alone that she finally had the opportunity to see if they could be something more than colleagues.
Barba packed up the files on his desk into his brown leather brief case. Long nights were becoming the norm. He felt more obligated to make himself available for any and everyone.
(Y/n) softly knocked on the door before entering. Hazel eyes trailed up her body as the corner of his lips turned upright. Paper continued to be gently placed in his bag to distract himself from her beauty. He too was keeping the secret that he found her both attractive and intimidating. (Y/n) annoyed parts of him that he found charming.
Ever since being in Manhattan, he hadn’t considered getting to know anyone intimately. Most cases consumed his attention, leaving little room for a relationship. Although he loved his job, he missed the company of having someone else there with him.
He walked from behind his desk and over to (y/n). His hand trailed to the bottom of his suit jacket to lightly adjust it.
“What can I do for you detective?” He said.
“I came here because we found a new witness that needs some convincing.” She shifted her feet around nearly staring down at the ground the entire time.
“Was there anything else?”
“It’s-“ She paused for a moment. One piece of her was screaming to say how she felt out loud; and, the other part wanted her to keep things professional. There was a chance that he wouldn’t even like her in that way. “Do you want to go out sometime?”
His cheeks turned pink. Being calm was slowly becoming harder. He could feel the warm smile plastered across his face.
“Do you like Italian food?” He countered. (Y/n) nodded her head in agreement.
From that point on they had been together. Nothing ever got in their way- not even the job. They spent nearly everyday with each other.
(Y/n) found herself leaving her clothes at his place until one day she was moved in. She knew the most intimate parts of him. How much he loved his family, especially his mother and grandmother. How he preferred speaking Spanish around and the house. He even had dreams of settling down, which came to a surprise to (y/n). She always assumed he preferred to be a bachelor with no serious commitments.
Even with them being together for two years, it never crossed her mind that he may want to marry her one day. The thought alone made her feel like she was on a different planet.
But everything came to a halt when she had least expected it.
There was a case that took a toll on SVU. Everyone had changed afterwards. They had never experienced a case this heavy before.
(Y/n) entered their apartment. Barba was at the kitchen table flipping through papers. Periodically, his pen would scribble down some notes.
“Barb, it’s late. Why don’t we just head to bed?” Barba looked up at her. Anger and sadness were hidden behind his eyes.
“Liv told me you’ve been taking a step back from the case.” (Y/n) sat across from him. She let out a heavy sigh.
“Yeah.” She paused for a moment to find the right words. “It was putting too much stress on me. I asked Liv to let me off.”
Barba’s eyes widened turning his eyebrows upward. His hands slammed down against the table, abruptly shooting up from his seat.
“Stress? You are one of the best detectives at SVU. We could break the case if you go undercover. We’ve been at this for months and you want to pull out the case?”
“I can’t right now. They are still doing the bust, but with a detective from another unit.”
He directed his index finger towards her. The case caused so much stress with the both of them. The tension was thick throughout the house. Most days (y/n) felt like she was walking on eggshells around Barba. She had never seen him this passionate about a case.
“You made the decision to leave the case. Great.” He rolled his eyes making his way to the kitchen.
(Y/n) didn’t feel like arguing with him. She was tired and debating on the right time to tell him the news. She had her reasons for leaving, but she knew Barba wouldn’t want to hear any of it.
“Barba, can we not do this tonight.” He closed the refrigerator door, twisting the cap of the water bottle tilting his head up to chug it.
“What is there to talk about, you’re off the case.” He placed the water bottle down on the counter, continuing his stride to their bedroom.
Days had gone by. Barba still refused to acknowledge (y/n). He had been angry before, but his pride and stubbornness were taking over.
The case ended up coming to a close with Barba making a stark decision.
When (Y/n) entered their shared home, everything seemed to be normal until she turned the corner to their bedroom. All of his clothes were gone. She ransacked every inch of the house to no longer find his personal belongs. Then, she saw the envelope on the coffee table.
She read that letter over and over again for days. How he could leave her, she never understood. She thought they were going to make it until the end. Everything about the house felt empty. (Y/n) had lost one of the few people who seemed to be a constant in her life.
*******
Five years had passed, (y/n) was still at SVU finally getting readjusted to life. Once she had her son, Enzo, things started to look up. Most of her time was split between work and being a mom. However, the hardest part was doing it all without Barba.
She never got the chance to tell him. She tried calling but would never get a response. She even tried going to his mom’s apartment, only to find she had moved. Now, she had a five year old that was starting to ask questions about everything. Luckily, he had not asked about Barba since Bruno had been around.
Nothing too serious had been going on between she and Bruno. He only joined SVU three years ago, but she had quickly grown fond of him. Bruno was good with Enzo, and (y/n) enjoyed seeing Enzo have a father figure in his life. Not to mention, Bruno fit the role perfectly.
Bruno placed (y/n)s coffee on her desk. She pressed down on the keys of her keyboard, focused on the screen in front of her.
“Am I still joining you and Enzo tonight?” (Y/n) smiled and nodded her head in agreement. The butterflies found their way back to her stomach. She stood up as Liv entered the squad room.
“We’ve got a case. Fin, (y/l/n), and I worked a case similar to this several years ago. There have been two murders that fit the same pattern.” Liv tossed the papers on Fin’s desk. (Y/n) immediately knew the case she was talking about. Her heart sank down in her stomach. “I decided to give an old friend a call to help Carisi.”
(Y/n) stumbled back when she saw who walked around the corner. Not only did they get the wrong guy, but the man she loved dearly was standing there in the flesh. Bruno grabbed her waist to prevent her from going back any further.
“Are you okay?” Bruno questioned.
Barba caught himself staring at Bruno’s hand against her waist. He had his suspicions that there was a possibility she could have moved on, but prayed she hadn’t.
“(Y/n).” Barba spoke.
Bruno looked between the two of them. (Y/n) grabbed her coat from behind her chair. She flung it across her shoulder. The sound of her feet hit the ground hard. She was nearly running out of the building.
Someone called her name in the distance. Her foot tapped feverishly while she waited for the elevator door to open. She walked in and hurriedly pressing down on the close button. Barba slid through right before the doors closed.
“(Y/n).”
“What do you want?” She snapped at him.
“I want to talk with you.”
“About what? How you left without a word and I had to pick up the pieces.” She shifted her tone from rage to sadness. The lump in her throat grew bigger. “You walked away like I was nothing.”
He pressed the elevators emergency stop button. A single tear made its way down her cheek.
“I don’t know why. I need you to forgive me. I understand you being mad.”
“Barba it’s more than that. I had to do everything alone. Somethings you don’t even know about.” She mashed the emergency button again so they could continue their descent to the first floor.
“I’m here now.“ He pleaded, gently taking her hand in his.
“Now is too late.” The elevator doors opened and (y/n) stepped out leaving Barba shell shocked.
She wanted to step away from the case but knew she had a duty to do. They had already screwed up, potentially having the wrong guy in jail and she needed to make sure there were no more mistakes. She meet Bruno across town to help him investigate.
No leads and she was running out of patients.
Bruno questioned her a little about Barba making sure not to dig too deep. He figured she had been through a lot for the day. She couldn’t wait to be back home and hold Enzo close.
Once she made it home, she texted Bruno to make sure he brought over a bottle of wine. (Y/n) placed a plate of food in front of Enzo. She slumped down in her chair and let out a heavy sigh. As she was about to ask her little boy about his day, the door bell rang.
Thrusting the door, she got that feeling in her stomach again. Barba’s weary eyes against hers.
“Can we talk?” He said.
She stepped away from the door. No better time than the present was all she could think.
When she moved out of the way, he saw the small boy sitting at the table. A perfect mix between he and (y/n). She watched his facial expressions and body language closely. (Y/n) gently closed the door behind him. Tears filled his eyes.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” He chocked.
“I tried.”
“He’s mine?” (Y/n) shook her head yes. His hand hovered around his mouth to muffle any form of a cry. He was overwhelmed by the news. The thought of him having a kid and not knowing about it never crossed his mind. “How old is he?”
“Five.” She hesitated. “He doesn’t know about you.”
“Can I?” Barba gestured towards him. Barba slowly walked over to the young boy who was still eating his dinner. He looked up at Barba and gave a small wave. Barba’s lip began to quiver. He bent down and pulled Enzo into a hug.
Barba stroked his little boys curls and smiled. Almost instantly, he understood what it meant to love something unconditionally the same way he loved (y/n).
“Enzo this is your daddy.” Enzo looked at (y/n) confused and back at Barba.
“Is daddy Bruno coming?” He innocently asked.
In that moment, it hit Barba that he couldn’t pretend like years hadn’t passed. He had a son who didn’t know him just as much as he didn’t know him. The woman he loved had moved on and all he wanted to do was take it all back. To have stayed with her in Manhattan and not let his anger get the best of him.
“Rafi, he doesn’t know you. That’s all.” She gently spoke. Barba stood up. He pulled (y/n) in by the waist and planted a deep kiss against her lips. He pulled away slowly.
“I love you.” His breath lingered against her lips as he spoke. He let go of her waist.
Bruno entered the apartment, holding up the bottle of wine in the air.
“Babe, I brought the wine over liked you asked.” Bruno paused in his tracks when he saw Barba.
(Y/n) moved away and neared Bruno. She couldn’t look at either of them. Barba stood there frozen. His suspicions were correct. He could lose the family that he found out he had all in one day to a man he didn’t even know existed.
