Puns, Ponies and Podcasts

I was GM and producer for Crudely Drawn Swords, also a horseman, game designer, musician, book fan, pun afficionado, programmer, weirdo know-it-all and occasional wizard. This used to be the CDS tumblr account, but I'm taking it for myself and nobody can stop me, or indeed cares.

[crudely-drawn-ben]

Did I mention I have a book for sale? And that it's a fantasy detective adventure story that makes a valentines-day-appropriate hard pivot to romance in the last third?

It also has plenty of content for the mule fans out there, making it the ideal read for anyone who likes mules, romance, or both:

The Redstone Rescue

### A light-hearted utopian fantasy detective story “They say the crown lies heavy on the head of the king, but in Sataminva our crown lies

[crudely-drawn-ben]

I know what you're thinking: "I do like mules and romance, but I also want to believe that a better world is possible. Is there a book like that which replaces traditional fantasy feudalism with utopian politics?"

Friend, this is your lucky day...

[crudely-drawn-ben]

Some will say: "I do like mules, romance and utopian politics, but these are heavy topics and I want something easy to read. More of a fast-moving adventure story, perhaps with a kick-ass narrator who makes plenty of jokes along the way." I don't know what to tell you, it's like I've thought of everything. You can read the first chapter right here - why not give it a shot?

[crudely-drawn-ben]

The Redstone Rescue is now available as an audiobook, paperback, and eBook from pretty much everywhere so if you've been holding back for whatever reason, this is the perfect moment. The audiobook is a great performance by my friend Ali - a familiar voice to those of you who listened to Crudely Drawn Swords.

It's shortlisted in the Indie Ink Awards for "Best Light Read" and "Best Narration." To quote one review: "The overall tone sort of gave me Robert Jackson Bennett vibes" "what stood out to me right away was the sense of real worldbuilding behind characters, settings, and events." "some of the cleanest and most engaging prose I’ve encountered in SPFBO so far."

It sounds pretty good doesn't it?

[crudely-drawn-ben]

If Polyphemus wasn't fooled by the sheep's-fleece disguise it would be a surprise to nobody.

[owlowlowlowlowlowlowl]

[crudely-drawn-ben]

I once worked on a content management system that had swearing filters on the user-facing but not administrator facing areas which meant I could set my password to include a swear but if I tried to log in it would silently fail. Even with access to the whole system it took me ages to work out what was going on, especially as nobody else had this problem, presumably because they all had non-sweary passwords.

[aropride]

people make jokes about how people who weren’t allowed to watch spongebob as a kid are always talking about how they weren’t allowed to watch spongebob but as one of the aforementioned people who wasn’t allowed to watch spongebob my insight on the matter is: you would not BELIEVE the amount of times spongebob comes up in normal adult conversations. i don’t often think about him of my own accord but people reference him and i have to say. what? and they say. it’s from spongebob?? and i say. oh i never watched spongebob. and they say why? and i say. i wasn’t allowed to. and then a few weeks later it happens again

[crudely-drawn-ben]

This also happens of you were too old for a show or lived in a country they weren't shown. I'm pretty old so I never saw SpongeBob or any Dragonball stuff and it's wild how many references people make to those two, especially online.

[crudely-drawn-ben]

Reasons not to read The Redstone Rescue

By this point I have made plenty of threads explaining why you should read The Redstone Rescue, so by way of contrast this thread will list eight reasons you should NOT read it. No art can be for everyone, so here are some ways you can tell that my novel is not your cup of tea:

If you love kings and believe that restoring the rightful king is what fantasy fiction should be all about, you're going to be disappointed with The Redstone Rescue. Sataminva is governed by its citizens and that makes the neighbouring kings and emperors angry and nervous.

If you think fantasy should be set in north-west Europe with the serial numbers filed off, you're not going to enjoy the arid climes of Sataminva which is loosely inspired by Central Asia. If you're the kind of person who needs characters to be white I actively don't want you reading my book.

If you think fantasy books should only feature cis and straight people you're not going to enjoy The Redstone Rescue. Sataminvans don't hold strong moral opinions on who you should or shouldn't fall in love with, and queer relationships are a significant part of the story.

If you love grimdark stories where everybody is in it for themselves and the world is endlessly cruel and brutal, The Redstone Rescue might not be for you. Most people we meet are trying to live a good life as they see it, they may not always be honest or helpful, but they're not villains.

Conversely if you're only interested in cosy stories where the stakes are low and everything goes smoothly for the central characters, aside from a few misunderstandings, you might find The Redstone Rescue's escalation from mystery to thriller a little too eventful.

If you only enjoy magic with wizard battles and characters throwing fireballs at one another, you may find the magic in The Redstone Rescue a little understated. It's mostly limited to enhancing one's skills in small ways, although of course inventive people have found ways to use that.

If you need your stories to be deeply serious The Redstone Rescue may not be for you- there are some funny moments, and even in dangerous situations our characters still make jokes. I think it adds realism, gives the story contrast and makes reading it more enjoyable, but perhaps you disagree.

If you don't like female characters who kick ass, you're going to have a hard time with our protagonist, Khatin. She has been taught to fight from an early age (an entirely non-tragic backstory) and she's now Watson to a famous detective, keeping him safe with punching skills while he detects.

That's a pretty exhaustive list, so if you haven't been put off by all of those, perhaps you WOULD enjoy The Redstone Rescue. You can find it by name in pretty much any online store, e.g. B&N, Kobo, Bookshop.org and Turn Another Page.

[evegoldenwoods]

A red flame in Barad-dûr, drawn based on the conversation in the most recent shelved by genre ep

[probablybadrpgideas]

As a counterweight to the GM facilitating the game, include an anti-GM whose job is to actively prevent the game.

[crudely-drawn-ben]

A real pro like me can be both of these at the same time.

[effiecalvin]

Orsina of Melidrie is a paladin of the Order of the Sun, sworn to drive out corruption and chaos wherever she finds it. She has been in search of a great evil she is supposedly destined to destroy, but after two years of fighting monsters and demons and evil gods, she is no closer to her goal.

Aelia is the Goddess of Caprice. The Order of the Sun has classified her as a chaos goddess, meaning that her worship has been outlawed. During a run-in with Orsina, she is trapped in a mortal body.

Intending to use Orsina for protection, Aelia pretends to be an ordinary woman fleeing an abusive family as she hunts down the magical relic that will free her. As the two grow closer, Aelia wrestles with her own desire to tell Orsina the truth about who she is, and her fear that Orsina will turn on her if she does.

Daughter of the Sun is the second book in the Tales of Inthya series, though it can be read as a standalone!

Preorder links can be found at linktr.ee/effiecalvin

[crudely-drawn-ben]

This is my favourite romance novel, strongly recommended.

[luna-azzurra]

Something neuroscience-y that helps with prose: attention is selective. A character will not notice everything in a room. They will notice what matters to their goal, fear, desire, training, wound, or obsession. A jealous character notices hands. a hungry character notices food. A soldier notices exits. A lonely character notices pairs. Description becomes character when attention has a bias.

[crudely-drawn-ben]

As my editor pointed out on The Redstone Rescue, you're not running a D&D encounter for the reader, they don't need to know where every piece of furniture is in the room. Give them the vibes and they'll figure out the rest.

[dharmaart]

An older painting I never got around to posting. I've always really enjoyed painting golden hour lighting especially on grey or white horses.

[crudely-drawn-ben]

It occurs to me tha Tumblr might enjoy these pictures of knights I took the other day at Carew Castle.

[crudely-drawn-ben]

A spaceship that came out of a perspective exercise today.

[crudely-drawn-ben]

Some Spout Lore fan-art - A4 and the Highspear. Listen to Spout Lore, it's excellent.

[byjove]

Perhaps the Holy Grail is nothing at all, perhaps the Holy Grail is the the nebulous concept of total wholeness and true satisfaction at one’s accomplishments. Perhaps the Questing Beast is the unending resentment we hold and the retribution we chase, resolution always alluding us. ORRRRRRRR maybe the Holy Grail is a sickkkkkkk chalice Jesus drunk out of at the Last Supper and the Questing Beast is a freaky critter someone needs to deal with RIGHT NOW. Won’t know until I finish these quests.

[mobilis-in-mobili]

maybe the real holy grail is the friends we made along the way

[byjove]

- King Arthur trying to comfort his knights after they failed the Grail quest for the third time in a row.

[crudely-drawn-ben]

The Holy Grail is a golden cup that brings great prosperity to those who hold it. Even now eleven of our finest and most beloved knights contend for it against the heroes of other realms. Last time they were victorious they brought four bright years for old England; there was even a summer of love.

Every time they depart our people hope that maybe this time they shall be pure and strong enough to bring it home again, but the trials are great and the opposition terrible in their skill. Indeed many of their knights contend in our tourneys outside of the Grail Quest, while the Isle of the Mighty is not what it once was. It is only the slimmest hope, dashed to pieces year after year, almost too fragile to endure. And yet the hope remains.

[textpostscymraeg]

Hullo! I'm new here. Have you ever spoken on the usage of latin alphabet, any existing predecessors, or what you/others would see as an ideal written language system for Cymru?

Extremely boring answer, but... I've never thought about it! The Welsh language and the Latin script have gone hand in hand for centuries upon centuries; the ancient version of Welsh that didn't use the Latin alphabet is so divorced from my experience of modern Welsh that I can't really imagine anything but the written language system we use now, and have used since roughly 800AD!

I'm aware that some ancient Welsh scribes may have used the Irish Ogham alphabet, which is very likely the inspiration behind Coelbren y Beirdd, a fake script created by Iolo Morganwg in the 1800s:

It's cool! But ultimately not real. Call me boring, but I'm happy with what we have! However, you've definitely piqued my interest into learning more about Ogham and the Celtic vigesimal system - watch this space!

[crudely-drawn-ben]

We have a few ogham stones in Carmarthenshire and Pembrokeshire but they're mostly in areas where there was a lot of trade with/raiding from Ireland. That seems to be where the system was mostly used.

People underestimate how romanised the British were by the time the Romans left. British iron-age culture seems to have been largely built on oral traditions - if people were writing things down they weren't doing it on anything that survives today, and traditions of memorised lore made it to the medieval era at least. So for all practical purposes the Roman alphabet has always been the Welsh alphabet.

[crudely-drawn-ben]

Today's quick-paint is from yesterday's sunset over the Menai Strait.

[crudely-drawn-ben]

Today's quick-paint is from our visit to Llanberis on Wednesday, featuring the tower of Dolbadarn castle.