excuse me for this being a post full of drama
"i" is used loosely before, the person who used to run this blog has split multiple times
- shaun/(i genuinely do not know what name they might go by now because i’ve been making a point to not check up on people from my mogai days, sorry) DID reblog that post that caused me to send that (shitty) message, they are literally a mod on that mogai wiki critism blog and at the time it had no indicator there were other mods so at the time when they reblogged that post telling “i hope all you mods burn” i really thought they had just reblogged it and then lied in their next post on kenochoric and said “i never reblogged that post.” i had been discussing the post with my therapist at the time in private and my therapist had repeatedly described it as a borderline threat, so how i saw it was that someone who i used to respect quite a lot reblogged a borderline threat against me and other mods and then acted like they didn't. after this i had a more extreme breakdown and i think i may have been delusional at different points, which is part of the reason a lot of my posts after that got... weird and some got deleted quickly. not an excuse but i’d like to EXPLAIN this and give some context.
- never doxxed rogue. doxxing can kill people and disgusts me on a moral basis. rogue has said in private emails that lo thinks the wiki page i made about lov is doxxing. it’s not. (it WAS rude and a breach of privacy and didn’t really need to exist. still not doxxing, did not contain a literal shred of information that counts as doxxing.) rogue was linked to four or five actual legal websites by the person who was maintaing the NCB on my behalf with the definition of doxxing, to say “no, your claim that this wiki page was doxxxing is wrong,” and rogue quite literally responded with “but my friends said it is.” this implies that rogue literally ignored actual legal professionals over like.. proship friends. i think the things i did to rogue were mean and uncessary but rogue has also used the scary word “dox” as a tool to silence supports of me/old me pre-splitting, while lo KNOWS that the wiki page was not a dox. mean and not needed? yeah, absolutely, i feel a lot of guilt over it and if i could go back in time and slap myself i would.
- i don’t tell people to kill themselves. i haven’t really checked but i have ZERO doubt there’s still never been any evidence that i told some random 16 year old to kill themselves. in fact i was literally silently making an effort to stop interacting with minors (just because of my age making me worried about making people uncomfortable) so from my perspective this accusation is all kinds of wild.
i’m still incredibly upset that someone as smart as dexter would think it’s okay to post an ask like that and leave NO comments at first about how he received no evidence of it and i really do hope that in the future mogai tumblr remembers that this isn’t the first time someone has sent an anon to whatever random mogai blogs have their asks open, saying that i did XYZ. remember when tgce was going to every blog they absolutely could and telling them i was antisemitic and then never providing evidence when asked but just talking about how shitty i am? yeah.
- the different carrds that i made no longer belong to me and haven’t been in my possession since this all happened, they’re not affiliated with me at all anymore so if you’ve removed links to them because they’re associated with Smelly Bad Guy i wouldn’t worry about that, i literally can’t edit them or anything now
figured out shortly after this that i have ocd and autism and i’m starting to slip and not be able to fight compulsions to come back here and comment so i think i’m just gonna outright delete the email this account is atatched to so i can’t get back in after this
with all that being said though: i'm sorry.
i don’t want forgiveness or to be defended, to be honest, so please just don’t. i’m very aware every action i took at this point was just asinine and rude and downright mean and hurting people and to say the least i’m not happy with myself for it
also: i’m no longer making any sort of mogai/resource-related accounts, so please know if you see anybody with an ezgendr/genderheaven/etc related url on another site it is ABSOLUTELY not me, i’ve seen fake usernames on other sites which kind of freaks me out so again that’s NOT legitimate
thank you for reading and i’m sorry, please know that there isn’t a single action i took that i don’t regret extremely
final note: if you're referring to me/old me pre splitting, please don't use the name "ez". our system's split was kind of violent and traumatizing and we've come to refer to it like "ez" dying. we would really like if people, especially those of you who outright knew me/us when i went by kris instead, didn't call me/us ez. mentioning the url ezgender is one thing because that was our actual url but people don't switch back to a name that this headmate no longer wanted to be called even when he was alive. never gonan stop you from being upset with me/us because there's a lot of legit reasons to but please don't with this name especially if we outright spoke to each other while it was "kris" instead














