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@genderqueer-selflove
Reason to Live #14073
I just wanted to say that itâs one year since I tried to end my life and so much has changed. I got the correct diagnosis and Iâm now on medication that has actually lifted my mood.
Iâve been with my girlfriend for over a year and we love each other so much. I have the cutest little cat who I love so much. I live with two of my best friends in a lovely apartment.
If youâre reading these posts to keep yourself going, please know that some day youâll look back at that moment and be so proud that you decided that you were determined to live. You will achieve your goals and you will be happy đ
  â Guest Submission
(Please don't add negative comments to these posts.)Â
Anxiety can make you feel disproportionately about many things. Maybe you made a mistake, and itâs ok to feel guilty or ashamed. But if it starts to overwhelm you, absorb you, leave you paralyzed, etc. thatâs not normal. Spend time learning to release that intense and excess energy while allowing space for reasonable discomfort.
Mister Rogers
Dang, I gotta start feelinâ better about myself.
Remember folks,
Mr. Rogers was Bisexual.
A lot of people imagine being able to comfort their past selves, telling them things are gonna be ok and to keep going, etc.
You ought to imagine your future self doing that for present-day you. Who would you be not to listen?
please donât forget youâre loved. anxiety lies. people care. you are loved. Itâs ok.
I don't know who needs to hear this but... start living. The days are flying by and all you do is work, pay bills, and stress. Enjoy what you can like walks, sunsets, music, laughter. Joy doesn't have to be expensive. You deserve it.
shaking myself (very gently) . being in pain takes a lot of energy!!!!!! being in pain is exhausting!!!!!!! you are not lazy or weak because you need to spend so much time resting, this is your body coping with how much pain youâre in literally 24/7!!!!!!!!!
Do not ever be rude or condescending to someone who asks "obvious" questions, no matter how obvious or silly you think the question is.
For one, in some cultures asking an obvious question is just a polite way of acknowledging the situation. So for example, if you just put your jacket on and start clocking out, a co-worker asking "oh, you done for the day and heading out now?" doesn't deserve you sneering at them like an idiot, scoffing, and saying "uh duh, just like I do every day at this time" when it's likely they knew the answer, but were just asking as a polite way of acknowledging the situation.
But even if they were genuinely unsure that you're leaving even though it seems obvious to you from context clues, so what? What does being rude and condescending to them achieve? Maybe they couldn't sleep last night so they're really out of it today, maybe they're dissociating, maybe they're about to pass out from low blood sugar, maybe some other employees sometimes put on their jacket and only clock out briefly but come back.
There's all sorts of reasons they could be confused about whether or not you're leaving, but intentionally making them feel bad achieves nothing except, well, making them feel bad. Either way, they're not hurting you or anyone by asking a "stupid" question, so there's no point in being rude about it. If you still want to make them feel bad about themselves for looking "stupid" when they weren't hurting anyone, that is the mindset of bullies and abusers.
Thank you everyone who is pointing out in the notes that this is usually an attempt to connect with someone and/or strike up a conversation. Because honestly in my experience 9 times out of 10 when someone asks an "obvious" question that's what they're trying to do. If someone walks into the kitchen and asks "oh are you cooking?" while you're standing over the stove holding a spatula, they probably already know the answer, but they're just trying to start a conversation with you and connect to you.
All the more reason it's sad and hurtful when these attempts are met with sneering and being treated like an idiot.
There are no stupid questions, only assholes providing snarky non-answers. Because aside from the bid for connection or genuine confusion, sometimes there are REASONS why you might get an obvious question.
âOh, are you cooking?â asks person who thought you were going out tonight.
âAre you leaving?â asks time-blind person whoâs surprised itâs 5:00.
âAre you going to lunch?â asks person who remembers thereâs a meeting in 30 minutes.
This is where I make my occasional reminder that Emily Post said the reason for manners is to make others comfortable and foster kind, thoughtful human interactions.
âOh, are you cooking?â
asks person who thought you were
going out tonight.
Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.
Clair de lune, Claude Debussy
Youâre allowed to be excited about the little things. Youâre allowed to be goofy. Youâre allowed to be dorky about your favorite tv show, to make blanket forts, to enjoy cheesy movies, even just to sleep with stuffed animals. Youâre allowed to do any of the things that make life a little more bearable. Itâs fine, ok?
"No one remembered my birthday-" Well, but did YOU tell anyone it was coming up and you wanted to celebrate it with them?
"I wish someone would see through it when I tell people I'm fine-" Well, but have YOU considered not lying when people ask you how you're doing?
"I am so resentful of my friend because they keep doing this thing that really bothers me-" Well, but have YOU directly communicated that the thing is bothering you?
"I am burning out because my friend keeps expecting me to help them with serious struggles-" Well, but have YOU tried to establish the boundaries you need to feel okay?
"No one ever asks me about this thing I really care about-" Well, but have YOU brought it up yourself?
"I miss my friend but they haven't texted me-" Well, but have YOU been reaching out to them?
Sometimes people are mean, uncaring assholes, in which case you get to be mad. But sometimes you just need to communicate better. Try communication before you assume someone doesn't care!
Having someone who knows you on such a deep level that they see past your mask, or sense you need a check in is such a deep satisfying fantasy. It's up there with living in a cottagecore farm, or buying all your friends houses when you win the lottery. But you have to make peace with the fact that this is also a fantasy. It is unfair to expect people to "just know" when to respect your boundaries or to push them.
Being cared for is not a fantasy. But you have to let people know you need it. And you have to understand that sometimes they will let you down. Just like you totally could live in a cute farm, but you still have to shovel shit, and the crops sometimes die anyway. Or maybe you win the lottery, but you still have to manage your money and learn real estate law.
The fantasy isn't the caring, the fantasy is not having to do the work. And it sucks. It's embarrassing. But like the meme says, it's not rotten if it's YOU. So do it for yourself.
"The fantasy isn't the caring, the fantasy is not having to do the work"! Thank you for that addition. Because it's not a naive expectation to want someone to care to treat you right. But it requires communication and mutual effort to actually get there
via cozyvu
Needed this today, fr
Words to live by, my guy
hey, I was just at "things got better" island and everyone there is talking about how excited they are to meet you
Hey yeah so this post literally kept me alive for like 6 months. Thank you. And OP is so right. Everyone on this island became my best friends. And guess what? Now they can't wait to meet *you* and they talk about you every single day.