"He has a 12 inch cock" well my pussy ain't a fucking magicians hat bitch where is all that supposed to go

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@gengrene
"He has a 12 inch cock" well my pussy ain't a fucking magicians hat bitch where is all that supposed to go
i hauve a cold
New sleep style: hitting the snooze button so many times that you sleep two additional hours in ten minute intervals. I call this Horse Sleep
Worse sleep. That was meant to say worse sleep
I Am So Fucking Tired
Literally immediately after reblogging this to correct it I went "wow, it has a reblog already?" And got all the way to checking my notifs before I realized. That it was me.
I actually wasn't that far off you guys
HOLY SHIT THE POST IS SAVED
Anyway horse sleep: sleep, but horse. Worse. Sleep but worse. Definitely one of the two.
the amongus crewmate really was a gift to humanity. the world had enough crudely drawn dicks on bathroom stall doors we needed another shape to instantly strike annoyance and discomfort in the viewer
So it seems like there are two possibilities:
One possibility is that the person who did the shooting changed his jacket right before the shooting- but into a different jacket that was remarkably similar (a puzzling choice!), then executed a plan so well thought out that the police had pretty much no leads, but was then caught (with both the murder weapon and a manifesto conveniently on his person!) at a small town McDonalds five days later thanks to a random person recognizing him (and is a random McDonald's employee thinking you appear similar to a partial photo of a criminal enough to get you detained?)
OR
A police force with a budget bigger than many country's entire military, in a country notorious for having corrupt policemen who routinely lie and believe themselves to be above the law, realizing that it would be supremely embarrassing to have no leads, and likely facing immense political pressure to make sure the public doesn't think people can get away with this kind of crime, feeling motivated to peruse the many many records available to their giant counter-terrorism unit and using it to find someone who was in the vicinity, with an established online record of extremism, who has a jacket that is reasonably similar, and straight up planting some evidence on him so they can wrap this up with a neat bow and all of the ceo's who run the politicians who run our country can breathe easier?
As a random person on the Internet I will never find out the truth but some of this is not really passing the sniff test, and if there is one thing you can count on in this country it's that cops lie and cover their own asses. If he mysteriously dies in prison from "suicide" then we will know it's definitely not him
Me: Yes sir I understand that the office door cannot be closed when two colleagues of opposite gender are alone together due to sexual misconduct concerns but as an openly bisexual employee I have to ask if leaving two colleagues of the same gender entirely unsupervised isn't a double standard
Me: Like. I feel I should also have my ass covered if a same-gender colleague accuses me of shit, you know
Bossman: Nahhhhhhh it's good
The morally grey cathedral goblin that lives on my shoulder and judges the value of my kneejerk impulses: If you grabbed his ass right now he would learn such an important lesson forever but we don't roll like that bro
Me: (out loud) Okay
My dad has bees. Today, I went to his house and he showed me all the honey he had gotten from the hives. He took the lid off a 5-gallon bucket full of honey and on top of the honey there were 3 little bees, struggling. They were covered in sticky honey and drowning. I asked him if we could help them and he said he was sure they wouldn't survive. Casualties of honey collection I suppose.
I asked him again if we could at least get them out and kill them quickly, after all he was the one who taught me to put a suffering animal (or bug) out of its misery. He finally conceded and scooped the bees out of the bucket. He put them in an empty Chobani yogurt container and put the plastic container outside.
Because he had disrupted the hive with the earlier honey collection, there were bees flying all over outside.
We put the 3 little bees in the container on a bench and left them to their fate. My dad called me out a little while later to show me what was happening. These three little bees were surrounded by all their sisters (all of the bees are females) and they were cleaning the sticky nearly dead bees, helping them to get all of the honey off of their bodies. We came back a short time later and there was only one little bee left in the container. She was still being tended to by her sisters.
When it was time for me to leave, we checked one last time and all three of the bees had been cleaned off enough to fly away and the container was empty.
Those three little bees lived because they were surrounded by family and friends who would not give up on them, family and friends who refused to let them drown in their own stickiness and resolved to help until the last little bee could be set free.
Bee Sisters. Bee Peers. Bee Teammates.
We could all learn a thing or two from these bees.
Bee kind always.
also: the bees aren't strong enough to pull the drowning ones out, and the humans aren't delicate enough to clean them off afterwards. helping takes a lot of forms.
i wish i could look at this… and feel Normal™️
Like when my... No.. i shant say
What's wrong with pineapples?
oh, you sweet summer child
genuinely i don't get it can you explain
Oh more sweet summer children who do not know the Lore.
can someone explain it instead of being vague about it??
oh how interesting!
The devil, wandering around asking everyone how to get to the devil's sacrament.
tiktok is such an awful app, it's almost designed to feed you misinformation and expose you to insane discourse. unlike beloved tumblr, the app that feeds me misinformation and exposes me to insane discourse
No, no, no, you see on tiktok an algorithm feeds you misinformation. On Tumblr I feed myself misinformation from my charcuterie board of hand-selected unhinged mutuals.
None of that mass market junk. Only artisanal, small batch, sustainably cultivated, fair trade horseshit.
Menswear guy’s ability to own is so powerful he even owns himself.
more menswear guy
guy who wins at poker not by being stoic but by bursting into tears every time he looks at his cards, just full hysterical breakdown every round and you gotta peer through the void of theatre kid problems to figure it out
the level of censorship around this man is ridiculous, what happened to free speech? It’s just his name.
calling her a “copy cat” when she didn’t do anything other than repeat 3 words is insane. her bail is set at 100,000.
as of now she’s facing 15 years in jail for ‘threatening’ the ceo of the insurance company that denied her claim. and isn’t that ironic? since women always get told that ‘threats don’t mean anything unless there’s action’ when it comes to reporting stalkers, ex and present partners who threaten abuse. but now a threat warrants this disproportionate action?
Bond for Briana Boston. During a bond hearing, Boston’s lawyer said his client i… Iryna Lebedyeva needs your support for Support Briana Bos
$25,419 raised in the last 18 hours. Let’s free her!
looks like she was released with no charges! (link posted by the organizer of the gofundme)
This is even more ridiculous when you know what she actually said, which was "delay, deny, depose. You people are next."
To be clear: this was not an okay thing to say to some random rep who probably didn't even make the decision but had to deliver the news. But it's not what's called an "actionable threat." She didn't give any specifics or make direct threats. THIS IS NOT ILLEGAL. There's a difference between "that was a nasty-ass thing to say" and "that was an illegal thing to say." This is even more true because they arrested her for "intent to commit a mass shooting" WHEN SHE HAS NO FIREARMS. What did they expect her to commit it with, her looks?
This is setting a very dangerous precedent.
This is the exact strategy law enforcement uses with protesters. Arrest them, give them absurd sentences to scare them, and then let them go with no charges because they've got nothing. It's a scare tactic, they never intended on giving her 15 years but they wanted to make an example of her.
i love you and we will make it thru this together