awooga

|| hey god? its me again || hi I'm arson (he/him) || 19 || poc || adhd fueled hyperfixation blog || many posts will be 18+, but they'll (usually) be tagged accordingly with an extra "stanger youve been warned" tag. || its gonna be geraskier. that's it. || and a side of geraskifer friendship bc yeah 💚 || original content? maybe. incorrect quotes I stole from other blogs and applied it to the witcher characters? fuck yeah. ||

[headcanonthings]

[geraltxtherapy]

sorry guys, I literally just watched season 2. that was crazy, right? :)

[fangirleaconmigo]

I Will Bring You Ruin

Prince!Jaskier x Gladiator/Bedwarmer Geralt AU.

Part 6. Rated Mature.

MASTER LIST OF CHAPTERS

Geralt wakes up feeling a lightness in his chest. It is the first time he has felt such a thing in a very long time. He gazes at the ceiling and a soft smile flickers onto his face. But then, he remembers where he is. He sees the bars. He smells the reeking pot in the corner. He hears the shouts of the guards waking the others for training.

As the memory of where he is washes over him, he feels grief. He sees Ciri’s face in his mind’s eye, and a sob almost breaks free of his throat. This is his morning routine. Remember. Suppress grief. Lay quietly until numb. Allow the rage to spread. It is the only thing that can get him onto his feet.

But today something else, try as he might to deny it, pulls him to his feet. It is the thought of the prince, of his face, making its way through the gloom of Geralt's existence again. 

He reminds himself that this is just a fantasy in which he is meant to play his part, like a puppet in a show. The prince may not have taken his body, Geralt had fallen asleep. Asleep, but he is still just a bit player for the people who get to be real humans.

This is a fantasy. Not a quick fuck of a fantasy, but a fantasy nonetheless. This young man is a romantic, that much is clear. He is drunk on plays and ballads where the beauty falls in the love with the beast. Where star crossed lovers kill themselves in impulsive acts of idiocy. A doomed love affair between a prince and a slave is just the thing for a man like that. He will visit Geralt until he can convince himself that Geralt loves him. And then he will take Geralt. 

He will call it love.

Then he will be gone. 

There is no other way that this fantasy can end.

Geralt gathers every last bit of spite and anger that he can into his heart. He buckles it around him like armor. Then he moves through his day, trying to deny the feeling of eagerness that leaps into his throat whenever he hears the gates open. It is just fun. He just needs something other than chamber pots and entrails in his life. That is it. He will not let the man in any farther. He will not feel anything for him.

He is worked into a tension that feels almost frantic by the time the sun began to lower itself in the sky.  His leg jiggles. His palms sweat. He snaps at Zoltan during training. 

By the time the gates opened and the prince sweeps in, Geralt is worked into knots. Yet the moment he sees the prince’s handsome face and unbridled smile, the knots unspool.

Geralt gathers himself before he steps up to grapple, hoping that he seems inhospitable. Closed off. He believes that he does. But the prince still has soft eyes and a soft smile and it makes Geralt feel violent. 

The guards are still watching intently, but are not so tense or combative. 

Geralt forgets about them. He focuses in on the beautiful man who insists on delivering himself to Geralt like the day’s catch wrapped in brown paper.

He wants a fantasy? Geralt will give him one, and he will indulge his own.

They grapple again, and just like the day before, Geralt does not hold back. Now that he understands the effect he has on the man, it is even more enjoyable. There is something darkly satisfying about having the doe eyed prince fall apart underneath him when he presses to his backside and whispers in his ear.

He is a royal, and Geralt is a slave. Gladiators may be glorified slaves. But they are slaves nonetheless. Yet when the Witcher wraps his waist in a hold and whispers good lad, he can literally feel the prince’s knees buckle.

Geralt lets him wiggle away just a little. Just to make him think he is learning something. He lets the prince think that he is free, only to sweep his legs out from under him. The young man makes an undignified noise when his sudden fall is only broken by Geralt’s arms.

Geralt finally sees fear in his eyes when he gets the prince in a snug hold. And first Geralt thinks he is finally afraid of him, and something bitter and disappointed curls in his gut. But then man yanks back his pelvis and Geralt understands. The prince noticed that he was pressing the hard line of his cock into Geralt’s thigh. He clearly thought that until that moment, he was hiding his desire. That he was hiding the lust rattling him so hard that the hinges were about fall from his tenuously contained self control. 

Geralt chuckles darkly and whispers a warning for him to be careful about what he may unleash. Again his lust surges. It is deeply amusing. Even if Geralt could not scent lust, even if it didn’t emanate from him like steam, it would have been clear. After all, there is a reason he is so fascinated by Geralt. There is a reason he is weaving this turgid romance about rescuing him. The romance he will forget the very instant the princess smiles his way, with her dowry and her beauty, and her inherited power.

Geralt feels something crinkle in his tunic and he realizes that while he was brooding, the prince slipped him something. He manages not to react or tip off the guard.

At the end of the session, the prince slips away again, red as a beet, having obviously enjoyed himself as much as Geralt had.

Geralt does not touch the parchment until it is late at night and everyone else is asleep. The guards never sleep, obviously. But they do leave them alone, checking once per hour that they are still in their cells with a cursory glance. 

The parchment is thick and luxurious and smells lightly of the kind of soap that the prince uses. His cock twitches involuntarily from sensory memory.

Dearest White Wolf,

Since we have already slept in the same bed, and wrestled one another in a decidedly homoerotic manner, I am hoping it isn’t terribly presumptuous to now write to you. If I have breached any gladiator etiquette, do let me know. 

Geralt snorts. But his eyes trace eagerly.

The quality of this letter shall be constrained by the fact that I do not know what your interests are or what entertains you, and unfortunately you cannot write me back to enlighten me. However, I am already something of an expert on witchers. So I shall attempt to entertain you with a tale of a mighty witcher.

What follows is an absurd, outlandish tale. The protagonist is a witcher, if he were being imagined by someone blasted on fisstech. Wherever he goes, grateful citizens laud him. They pay him handsomely, and feed him his favorite meal, which is wild boar that has been slain in a fair fight. He derives his magic from some kind of mystical rainbow colored slug.

It only gets more ludicrous from there. Geralt scoffs and snorts his way through it. By the end he is chuckling.

Underneath the story is a sketch of a witcher (meant to be him due to the white hair) fighting some creature that is labeled a dragon.

The letter ends with…

I shall see you in training tomorrow, at which time I shall attempt to prove myself worthy of actual instruction, rather than a never ending display of my athletic inferiority. Do not misunderstand me. It does not harm my ego. I am rather enjoying it. But I hope you will see that I am sincere, and that I can be taught.

Yours,

Julian (though my friends call me Jaskier, and I hope someday that life offers us an opportunity for you to see me as such)

Geralt swears to himself in the dark of the tiny cell. He spits every curse he can remember, in every language he has ever heard.

------

Author Note: I think I can share a few more of these drafts without messing up the larger story, so keep your eye out. But a full fic is still coming. I have a thirty chapter outline and twelve of those chapters are filled out with a summary/draft (like this one). So today I'm going to start fully fleshing out the chapters. They'll be like this one, only with more detail, more physical environment, and more supporting characters and subplots so I can fill out an entire story.

I will update the master list and tag people soon so they can catch up, in case they want to read it at this beginning stage.

Since I'm not posting yet on AO3 I miss getting comments on chapters so let me know what you think so far in the replies or reblogs. Though, I will start posting on AO3, probably in a few weeks, depending on my progress. I want it mostly done before I do that, so I don't stress about what to write next or how long it takes me.

Thanks for your support of this fic!!! <3 <3

[izzy-hands]

The Witcher + Text Posts [4/?]

[arson-yeehaw]

hey guys, I never thought I would need to do this, but like. I need money to live rn

I'm 18, living with roommates (rent is $570 cad) and I just lost my job due to covid lockdowns. I currently have $50 in the bank, and rent is due Feb 1st. my parents are helping me out, but they're also insanely poor, and all extra expenses are going on credit cards

on top of that, I am disabled and in the process of getting diagnosed with what we think is fibermyalgia. to make ends meet I have started selling newds on fansly (mostly to trans chasers) which is a lot on my mental health.

honestly even $200 would turn my month around.

since im in canada i can only accept through PayPal, @/arsonyeehaw

ik not everyone can donate, and I don't expect it, but I would appreciate it if ppl spread this post around!

and if you'd like to contribute through paid p0rn, you can find everything through my twitter @axsonxs

thank you guys sm :)

[izzy-hands]

Jaskier using ‘artist’ as a term for queer

[deus-ex-moshina]

The mandatory “only the yennskiers won this season and nobody else” moodboard

[alivedean]

yennskier + text posts bonus:

[jaskierrrrrr]

Okay but what are jaskier's fans gonna think when he starts writing positive songs about Geralt again? Do you think it'll be like that bones/no bones thing on tiktok?

"What's the bard's mood today?"

"Well last night he sang a ballad called Whoreson of Rivia."

"Oh shit."

[izzy-hands]

THE WITCHER SEASON 2 Geralt, Jaskier and Roach

[rock-on-the-radio]

Has this been done yet??

[penandinkprincess]

something that brings me great joy: geralt needing to take ciri shopping to get clothes and being able to pull legally blonde levels of “surprise bitch i have a lot of knowledge of clothes you won’t cheat me” from years of traveling with jaskier. geralt might not use the knowledge for himself (the man names every horse roach, he picks like two styles of shirts and trousers that work and gets them in the same material every single time), but he has the knowledge. jaskier has talked SO MUCH about fashion during his time with geralt. even if he’s only listening 50% of the time, he’s still going to know so much about clothes against his will. 

salesclerk, thinking she’s going to pull a fast one, speaking to ciri: “and oh, this one has such lovely rose embroidery! this pattern is the peak of fashion in the big cities right now.”

geralt, from where he’s been lurking in the corner to keep an eye on the door, barely glancing over: “done in silk thread?”

salesclerk, confused but still shooting her shot: “indeed!”

geralt, totally deadpan: “you can’t get the finish on those flowers done in silk. it would have to be linen or a linen blend. and that pattern isn’t current. it was stylish in oxenfurt four years ago, and now the popular pattern is plain vines.”

[roughentumble]

#geralt secretly knowing SO MUCH about fashion #like to the point that even hE didn’t fully know what he knew #jaskier has made him such an expert on clothes #entirely against geralt’s will or knowledge #why does geralt have such strong opinions on velvet vs sateen?? #he weeps for he does not know #where is this knowledge from? #what witchcraft has jaskier used #he sees a flounce in a dress #and rolls his eyes entirely automatically #oh no #the training #the training from jaskier has taken over HOW DID IT HAPPEN (via @penandinkprincess)

[just-a-himbo-and-his-feral-bard]

Geralt @ Ciri immediately afterwards: We are never mentioning this to Jaskier. We take this to our graves. I need you to promise you won’t say a word, Ciri.

[cyberman-smear-test]

Joey Batey is walking around with a new album on his hip and knowing why Geralt needs Jaskiers help and what happens to our bard and having full knowledge he got the internet wrapped around his finger and whats he doing?!!??!!?? Drinking in his back garden in Soho?!???? My guy you could rule NATIONS right now

[penandinkprincess]

thinking about jaskier’s “geralt’s always so stingy with the details” comment at the beginning of their friendship and have a proposal: it’s not necessarily geralt directly wanting to frustrate jaskier into leaving (although in his more petty moments at the start, kind of, yeah), but geralt has never really HAD anyone to listen to him before, so part of it is just a lack of practice. villagers pay him to deal with their monsters, yeah, but they don’t really want stories afterwards. they get queasy enough when he brings them the heads. and even though they want to know about unusual monsters for the sake of their own knowledge, even his brothers and vesemir don’t really want to hear about fighting things they already fight. 

so geralt at the start at least entertains jaskier’s questions, but he answers the same way he would answer an alderman. “what monster was it?” “griffin.” “how did you kill it?” “sword.” he’s trying to give jaskier what he wants, but he doesn’t entirely KNOW what jaskier wants from him. he’s not lying or evading, he’s just naturally more reserved with his words, and he’s not used to giving anything beyond what did you kill, how did you kill it, is the job done, when are you leaving our town?

so jaskier perceives it as geralt keeping the good stuff back when it’s not that at all, and this miscommunication persists until jaskier’s being particularly whiny one day about geralt’s report on a hunt and geralt snaps “I don’t know what more you want!” with genuine frustration, and jaskier starts thinking. he still doesn’t have the full sketch of geralt’s life out of this, of course, but it’s enough to start working on.

so jaskier learns to be more direct and specific with his questions (”so how did you know it would be a werewolf?” “what did you do about the extra claws?”), and geralt warms up to having someone who WANTS to listen to him, who WANTS him to keep talking. 

[poisonousbuttercup]

I saw this and I had to, I'm sorry.

[tishawish]

bard too cute, must kiss

[penandinkprincess]

okay but other witchers wanting to “steal” jaskier away but not being entirely sure how geralt got him in the first place (geralt is also not sure), so jaskier is subject to a whole gamut of witcher “courting” with mixed results. 

some witchers ping onto “the bard likes colorful things! the bard will WANT colorful things!” which delights jaskier to no end because he DOES like shiny and bright things, you are correct! thank you for the bracelets! geralt come look!

some witchers go the route of “the bard likes singing stories about creatures! the bard will want to go watch me killing creatures!” jaskier does enjoy these for the short time they last before he almost gets eaten by a manticore, and geralt’s patience with that whole approach is over.

still others think “the bard likes studying creatures! the bard will want souvenirs of creatures! he’s a noble! they love having weird things!” which gets jaskier a variety of very interesting teeth and paws and spines until it culminates in aiden, in true cat fashion, plopping down an entire kikimore in front of the door of the inn jaskier’s staying at one night. jaskier is fascinated and would like to keep it if he could, but geralt is very grouchy about them being summarily evicted from the premises and won’t let him carry it on roach. 

eventually they all come to the very irritating conclusion of “the bard likes geralt! he wants to travel only with geralt!” and they’re all very grumbly about it, frankly.