sometimes I'm doing better.

honestly, I am doing better. but that doesn't mean I'm doing perfect. recovering bulimic, working on the self harm recovery. have a bad day? message me about it. I want to help. good luck out there loves :)

[gettingbetterihope]

Love

"How could anyone ever love me with my scars?"

I used to believe they made me unlovable, that I would never find someone who understands them. Friends, this is a lie your depression tells you, your anxiety tells you, you mental illness whispers in your heart.

I have been dating my best friend, and love of my life now for two years and have hundreds of scars. Yes, they make him sad for the times when I felt that was my only option. But he loves me. He understands they are a part of my past and therefore who I am.

Sometimes I see them in a certain light and they make me sad, even though it's been months since my last slip, and when he sees me looking at them or trying to hide them, he kisses them and tells me I am beautiful.

He is not ashamed of them. He doesn't make me hide them. He encourages me to wear what I want, supporting me during the day if I suddenly panic about the short sleeves. He does not love me less over them.

You are deserving of love. Your scars do not affect your capacity for receiving love. Please, don't give up.

[moan-s]

[gettingbetterihope]

I've decided to throw things I like on this blog too. Just things I see that make me happy

[gettingbetterihope]

A Year and Some Odd Days

I'm at a year and three months without purging. After years of throat burning, stomach aching, dry heaving, raspy talking, I'm finally able to say I have been clean of it for sixteen and a half months. 16.5 MONTHS.

By no means am I all self confident. I still find myself trying to restrict. Sometimes I binge and my god it is so hard to not relapse.

But I am working on loving myself. You should too.

Good luck out there loves.

[gettingbetterihope]

I've made some really difficult and drastic decisions in the last ten months. Started making decisions for me. And you know what? I'm doing better than I have in years. And it's amazing.

[gettingbetterihope]

permission

Hey friends, Eat today. Why? Well, you've got billions of little cells fighting for you. They fight to keep your body healthy. They fight to keep oxygen flowing. They fight to keep your beautiful heart pumping. They fight to heal yours scars. Feed them! They're hungry. Love your body like it loves you. Be kind to your body because it's yours and you deserve love and kindness. You are an amazing creation, whether by God or by universe or maybe even a mix of both, you are a miracle and you are here on this planet. You are alive. You are breathing. You are beautiful. Be kind to yourself. ❤

[gettingbetterihope]

itsokay

Day…. somewhere in the high 200’s without b/p habits! But today the real story is that I haven’t cut in like… a month and a half! I fell off the wagon for a while there and really struggled to get back on. Now comes the hard part where I have to decide and be okay with letting some of the scars heal. It’s okay to slip up sometikes, just stand back up and keep pushing. It’s okay that it is hard, it means you’re fighting. It’s okay to eat. Take care of your body. It’s okay to love yourself. Just because they heal doesn’t mean they never happened. It’s okay to let them heal. Love yourself and let your body do what it is made for. Good luck out there loves. Be strong.

[sanguineeyes]

[gettingbetterihope]

Pretty much this is me

[gettingbetterihope]

labreportnight

Me and my boyfriend skype while we do homework every night (he keeps me out of trouble) tonight is a late night fueled by redbull for both of us. Through tonights skype session I have discovered engineering group homework consists only of numbers, equations, and excessive swearing. Also, his friend started freaking out because he managed to get his shoes stuck together under the table. Engineers at their finest. It's only 12:30. On the bright side I am on day 273 without purging! Hit me up with questions or messages or anything! I'm bored out of my mind Stay strong!

[itsanoddsortofworld]

Just because others don’t see it doesn’t mean it’s not there. Your struggles are real, don’t invalidate them just because some people don’t understand them. You are valuable and you are strong and you are beautiful. Hugs and love. -MB

[gettingbetterihope]

Hey friends. This is important. We are all important. Love yourself. Love others. And have a lovely Monday!

[cwote]

this hippo is very wise :)

[itsanoddsortofworld]

Hey friends, rough nights makes for rough mornings. But every day is new, I know that’s cliche, but it’s true. Good luck today friends.

[gettingbetterihope]

This is still one of my favorites. I need to print these and put them on my wall in my apartment.

[gettingbetterihope]

whyschool

Just finished up spring break and my grades are actually really good for the first time ever. But my old friends anxiety and self doubt have decided we are gonna hang out so it is a little bit rough. Keep pushing as always. But. If I can tell other people that even if they fail every class they take this semester, I would never think of them as any less intelligent, I should be able to apply it to myself. I’ll just work on that. At least I get to spend this beautiful Sunday doing homework with my boyfriend. Stay strong.

[thoughts-memories]

[gettingbetterihope]

I love this more than I should and reboot it anytime I run into it on my feed. Happy Monday!

[gettingbetterihope]

oldhabits

It’s been a rough day. Dining halls make things hard. I had finally beaten the freshman fifteen and I think I gained it all back in a week. My scale died last week. But… I’m going to be okay. I’m trying. I ate too much. Or I think I ate too much, but really, its just my head being a bully. I'm okay. I've decided Im going to be okay. I’m okay. Be strong.

[itsanoddsortofworld]

I needed this so badly. I always wonder if it will end because I want it to get better. So desperately. But I’m going to hold on.

[itsanoddsortofworld]

I dont remember where i found this but i really like it ❤

[gettingbetterihope]

Day 258

It’s a big deal. Four or five times a day to day 258 without making myself throw up. It’s hard. It has gotten easier but damn it’s still hard. But you guys, I’m here to say you can do it. Take it from me. It is possible. Be strong my loves. It’s worth it. You are beautiful.