in honour of my recent adoption of several abandoned kittens, I'm doing some lockwood and co headcanons for what would happen in portland row if you arrived with cats....
-- "We aren't keeping them; you know that, right? We're not keeping them, I swear...aww look, that lil guy just yawned."
-- loudly protests for hours but drives across London in the middle of the night to get kitten formula for you
-- you look over and he's fallen asleep on a chair with three kittens on his lap
-- "what's this one's name again?"
-- these are her babies now. would straight up die for them; if someone so much as looks at them the wrong way it's on sight.
-- yes, she's singing them a lullaby. yes, she'll punch you if you mention it.
-- they remind her of her childhood cats.
-- hatching a murder plan for whoever abandoned them.
-- why would we buy kitten formula? maybe they can just eat doughnuts.
-- why would we buy kitten formula? I'll make some out of these obscure ingredients, just like the ancient Egyptians. Did you know that cats were a sacred --
-- names them all after obscure mythogical figures.
-- cannot for the life of him understand how to hold them right
-- gets them an unbelievable number of cushions. literally builds them a kitten pillow tower.
-- already knows exactly how to care for them. she can get the grumpy one to drink when nobody else can.
-- definitely in on Lucy's murder plan
-- bathes them all in three seconds with her special soap
-- ribbons. on all of them. the minute they're clean.
-- "it's so sad, the way people abandon pets. I can't believe it!"
-- "Is that noise those bloody cats again?"
-- complains incessantly but is incredibly gentle with them
-- claims he's allergic. is not.
-- claims he doesn't like cats. he's lying. everyone knows.
-- detailed description of that one time he ate a cat. he's lying. right?
-- "Lucy, that one's got something in it's mouth! Hurry! You don't want it to die, do you! Useless kids. If I was in charge..."
-- "can someone please shut up those horrendous animals?"