Titled

yet another reddit refugee. i touch grass i swear

[ghostofapineapple]

ok guys, i'm from reddit

i had to flee after the great api wars of 2023 and ended up back in this hellsite

i offer a picture of me touching grass as a token of friendship

[ca314159bara]

if you're having trouble sleeping the best you can do is put a bright object close to your face and look at it for at least 30 minutes. if that doesn't work you can close your eyes but make sure to think really hard about a bunch of bullshit

[im-mender]

post: I noticed that in act 1 there's a loaded gun mounted on the wall there. I bet by the end of act 2 it will have been fired

all the replies: you're a fucking idiot

*after act 2*

all the replies: how the fuck did you know that

[headspace-hotel]

Me: *seeing a doctor* Did the test come back positive?

Doctor: *has a doctorate in English Lit* I’m sorry, it’s a little more challenging than we thought. We analyzed your imagery, and it appears that you symbolize the fleeting nature of the American dream

Me: oh god

[elftwink]

theres a phenomenon that happens on here i have been calling "normalize loving parents posting" which is when you spend a lot of time on tumblr and are exposed to a lot of one specific counter-cultural narrative day in and day out until you start to forget what the dominant ideas are for most of the human population and thus feel the need to "defend" things that are widely accepted and popular. it's called this because of the time a bunch of text posts about shitty dads were circulating and then people with good relationships with their dad didn't feel included enough and started making "uhmmm can we normalize loving parents? not everyone has a deadbeat dad, MY dad is great" type posts, seemingly forgetting that good relationship with dad is a cultural norm that is expected and encouraged. i think its good practice, especially when im annoyed, to stop before i hit the post button and ask myself if this is a real issue or if im normalize loving parents posting. because often im about to try to normalize loving parents

[elftwink]

common examples of normalize loving parents posting:

support women who shave their legs and wear makeup every day

let's hear it for masculine men

reminder that two people of the same gender can have a close platonic relationship!! not everything is gay!!

skinny shaming is hurtful too guys

does anyone else think [ironic kink du jour] is strange and freaky and gross?

saluting our bravest warriors who aren't afraid to stand up and advocate for the status quo

[misericordiia]

wound dressings and bandages are lingerie for the enlightened pervert

[misericordiia]

shit dude did we lose jesus again

[chilewithcarnage]

24 karat gold labubu divorces Dubai chocolate I don't fucking care girl

[yeetmewithachainsaw]

[creepymutelilbugger]

CURTAINS FOR ZOOSHKA? K-SMOG AND BATBOY CAUGHT FLIPPING A GRUNT

[elexecution]

if i was born 500 years ago i would have been speculating that the two dudes who went to get firewood together were fucking

[neaborealis]

chat, how long do y’all think 500 years is. Romeo and Juliet was written in the 1500s. 500 years is not the Stone Age.

[elexecution]

why do u think people stopped collecting firewood after caveman times

[imsobadatnicknames2]

Many such cases

[youcanstillwhistle]

I think the "pre" and "post" parts in "preposterous" should cancel each other out but everyone else seems to find my idea completely erous

[pukicho]

One bird in my neighborhood starts chirping at 4am, way earlier than the other birds in my neighborhood. If you think about it, it’s actually really annoying, and it probably pisses off the other birds too, including me, who isn’t even a bird.

[inthefallofasparrow]

You know he gets that worm, tho

[elexecution]

if i was born 500 years ago i would have been speculating that the two dudes who went to get firewood together were fucking

[neaborealis]

chat, how long do y’all think 500 years is. Romeo and Juliet was written in the 1500s. 500 years is not the Stone Age.

[elexecution]

why do u think people stopped collecting firewood after caveman times

[imsobadatnicknames2]

Many such cases

[kittyb1tz]

"um this song is actually about masturbation!!!!!!!!" aw thats so scary :( do you wanna call your mummy (remembers how americans read that) do you wanna call your strong as fuck ice mummy

[hellsitegenetics]

String identified: " t g acta at atat!!!!!!!!" a tat ca :( aa ca ( aca a tat) aa ca tg a c c

Closest match: Atropa bella-donna genome assembly, chromosome: 11 Common name: Deadly Nightshade

(image source)

[isopod-girl-antenna]

Do you wanna call your strong as fuck poison mummy?

[hellsitegenetics]

[gayvampyr]

“i liked it before it was cool” well i liked it AFTER it was cool when everyone abandoned it

[gayvampyr]

i get really into shows that aired like 5+ years ago like “have y’all heard of this”

[thosetiktoks]

Credit: meg_langton_

[doriangraysrockcollection]

oh hey i have one for this

[pukicho]

If I wasn’t so sleepy you’d all be soo fucked

[noobkiller2009]

Just sleep

[kaijuno]

[yossyislandd]

[manlymothman]

[hearteyes-wheeler]

Rest in peace ❌ Rest in pieces ✅

[thefingerfuckingfemalefury]

I like the implication that Caesar gets re-murdered each time