Giga Guess' Mtg Haven

Decided after some time I'd branch off my MtG stuff into it's own blog, something a bit more...ah...SFW.  So welcome!  Enjoy my spoilers, funnies and general opinions on MtG related (and probably other fandom related, eventually) stuff

[gigaguessmtg]

[niggazinmoscow]

This thread!

[gigaguessmtg]

“well i said i was sorry...” LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THIS RIGHT HERE.

“I’m Sorry” is not a magical panacea.  It does not just make it all disappear into the aether.  “I’m sorry” is not a solution, but a promise.  A promise to do better, to not allow the behaviour to continue, and most importantly, to try to make amends.

To not do that, is to break a promise, and to exacerbate the hurt you caused.  So...long story short, don’t say you’re sorry, unless you’re willing to follow it up.  Otherwise you’re just trying to use it as a magic “Stop being mad at me” button, and that makes you a jerk.

[missiur]

Reblog if you’d be okay if your friend came out as transgender

let’s see how many transphobics we can weed out

[jaywayup-deactivated20150620]

if you can’t reblog this unfollow me right now

[pepperstrawberry]

[generalwitcherydeleted]

ADVICE FROM A STAR (based on a rune spread I’ve been using from >>sunnyway)

The past.

The present.

The help you can expect to receive.

What you cannot change and have to accept.

The future.

For any general situation that you need insight on!

I offer paid readings with this spread and others, DM me if you’re interested!

[gigaguessmtg]

I need to find my cards and do this...

[a-dauntless-daffodil]

let the roomb-pocalypse begin 

[hazoret]

I STILL DON’T KNOW WHAT A KINGDOM HEARTS IS

[dasebeleren]

it’s a poker hand

[doctor-roman]

Light Darkness light light darkness friendship darkness light data darkness

[doctor-roman]

OH YEAH, AND

MEMORIES

[hazoret]

SO THERE WERE TWELVE WHOLE ASS GAMES IN THIS SERIES AND NO ONE KNOWS FOR SURE WHAT A KINGDOM HEARTS IS WHY AM I NOT SURPRISED

[gigaguessmtg]

Maybe the real Kingdom Hearts is the friends we made along the way.

[beggars-opera]

I’d like to introduce everyone to my new theme song

[the-v-gees]

fuckin MOOD

[aninactivebloggfgfgf]

I love the contrast between the lyrics and the melody this is art

[cold-and-analytical]

pfffffffft nooooo I didn’t just learn this song on ukulele… at midnight…

[flamingfoxninja]

So i’m just watching youtube, trying to chill out and whenever, when I get a Lego Movie 2 Ad for a video I was watching

do you see that timestamp at the bottom? Yeah, this is apparently 5 hours long.

And at first I was wondering, well is it the entire movie? No…this entire ad is for their newest “everything is awesome” type song. It is called “this song is gonna get stuck inside your head” and I am pretty goddamn sure it is going to repeat that one line over and over until my brain melts

So I am going to see if they really are playing it for 5 hours

[flamingfoxninja]

10 minutes in. No breaks from looping yet

[flamingfoxninja]

about half an hour in. I have been staring at what appears to be the child of Jack Frost and Edward Cullen wondering just how is he able to move in the cold if his body is dead

[flamingfoxninja]

It is only 40 minutes in, and I can’t tell if I am immune to the music, or if my brain has stuck it as background noise

[flamingfoxninja]

made it one hour and I swear I can hear them say the same line in two different ways

1) This song’s gonna get stuck inside your

2) This song’s going get stuck inside Joe

[flamingfoxninja]

hour and 15 minutes

I have now found that even if I mute it I can still hear the song on point to the video

[flamingfoxninja]

I have made a mistake. I paused the music for like one second. So the music that I hear now is clashing with the pace of the music I heard before

[flamingfoxninja]

“THIS SONG’S BURN AGAIN STUCK INSIDE JOE”

[flamingfoxninja]

almost 2 hours of watching a lego blob’s deep shoulder action. how does she do it? I will never know

[flamingfoxninja]

I keep forgetting that I clicked on a different video to begin with. Like every minute I remember that this was an ad, then I just forget again

[flamingfoxninja]

Is it possible for your ears to feel numb?

[flamingfoxninja]

I can’t think anymore it took me 10 minutes to figure out that this was the half way point of 5 hours

[flamingfoxninja]

it’s true. Hell is a skrillex concert with no bass drop

[flamingfoxninja]

I’m losing track over what thread to use. I need to talk out loud to write or I would be writing the song

[flamingfoxninja]

I can time my blinks so every time I open my eyes I see the same scene over and over and over and over and over and over and over and

[flamingfoxninja]

i need to FEED

[flamingfoxninja]

this is how the CIA tortures people i hope you know this

[flamingfoxninja]

Everything I know is a goddamn lie. This movie this hellsite everything why do I even exist

[flamingfoxninja]

I am almost done with this nightmare. God I am so afriad I can’t remember what silence sounds like

[flamingfoxninja]

I am going to find the man that greenlit this piece of shit and shove legos down their throat

[flamingfoxninja]

I hate this movie so much

[flamingfoxninja]

IM SO FUCKIN CLOSE I,M SO FUCKING CLOSE

[flamingfoxninja]

IT HAS A FUCKING END CARD

MY FUCKING GOD

…….i need a nap I need to just be absorbed into the void and hope that I can succumb to the darkness and not dream of legos

[endless-fluffering]

OP did not put themself through this for 342 notes

[flamboyantly-employing]

OP has my ultimate respect holy shit

[gigaguessmtg]

Good grief.  Respect, dude.

[silvermoon424]

So, when trying to get Erika’s number in Soul Silver, I discovered that she can be delightfully bitchy.

WAY TO SPREAD GOSSIP, ERIKA

We also get this amazing setup:

I knew there was a reason why Erika’s my favorite gym leader! I love how she just completely sets Jasmine up. You KNOW that she’s going to offhandedly mention to Clair later that Jasmine said her outfit was embarrassing, just like she told Jasmine what Whitney said about her. Erika’s like the Regina George of the gym leaders.

[kylejorden-deactivated20200201]

Real Housewives of The Johto Region

[gigaguessmtg]

Erika in there stirring the FUCK out of that shit pot.

[markrosewater]

Inquiring Minds Want To Know - Planes to Visit in the Future

In today’s information gathering, I’m interested to hear what planes you want to visit in an upcoming Standard-legal set. Here’s how I would like you to respond. Please list, in order, your favorites from one up to five. You can list less than five, but please restrict yourself to five answers. Number 1 should be the plane you most want to see us visit in the future. 

If you’re interested you may also tell me why you want to return to that plane. You can list any known plane including ones we’ve never visited before. I need names of existing planes though and not “wild west plane”. 

Here’s an example:

1. Innistrad - It’s my favorite plane

2. Fiora - I love Conspiracy and would like to see Fiora in a Standard-legal set.

3. Tarkir - Go back, but there better be clans.

4. Rath - I don’t know how you’d do it, but I’d love it.

5. Alara - More Esper please.

I would love to get a lot of data, so please pass this along to your Magic friends to answer as well.

Please number your answers as the data will be weighted. I will count them in the order listed if you don’t number them. Please don’t list the same plane more than once. 

[gigaguessmtg]

1.)  Theros.  I feel like a return is imminent, so this feels moot, but all the same, there’s a lot there I would like to see again, and more of.

2.)  Innistrad.  One of my favourite planes, and I want to get a feel for how it’s adjusting post(ish) Emrakul.

3.)  Zendikar.  Like the above, but a much grander scale.  I want to see what a truly Eldrazi-free Zendikar is like.

4.)  Lorwyn.  It’ll never happen.  I know.  but dammit, I gotta say it anyways.  Like the above, I want to see what a rebalanced Lorwyn is like, and how things are faring there.

5,)  Vryn.  Departing from the above, we know precious little of it, and I definitely want to know more.  A lot more.

[flavoracle]

A Movie I Desperately Want to See: Tempting Fate

Emma Thompson, Julie Andrews, and Dame Maggie Smith play the three Fates in this charming and witty comedy.

Realizing they are each becoming tired and grouchy, the Fates decide to take a summer holiday in a small rural village to enjoy some time away from their jobs and focus on their own hobbies for a change.

Though originally determined to keep to themselves, a package mistakenly delivered to their cottage forces the supernatural sisters to go into town, and interact with some of the village’s residents. Knowing the full past, present, and future of each mortal’s life makes them vow to not get attached, but each one secretly breaks that vow when they find someone whose life and story is worth trying to change their destiny.

Confusion and hilarity ensues as the Fates themselves try to tempt fate.

[flavoracle]

Emma Thompson’s character: The Tragic Fate. Knows all too well the sudden disappointing turns that life can take, and and has a rather sarcastic and pessimistic demeanor. Her hobby is writing (which is beautifully written, but too sad for anyone to finish.) She befriends a young poet visiting home from university who is being pressured by her parents to choose a more practical major.

Julie Andrews’ character: The Happy Ending Fate. Loves to see the pieces fall into place at the last minute, and has a rather bubbly and gushing personality. Her hobby is gardening, but her gardens never produce much because she doesn’t have the heart for pruning or weeding out the unwanted. She meets a middle-aged mother who is struggling with depression and thoughts of suicide after learning she has terminal cancer.

Dame Maggie Smith’s character: The Practical Fate. Does the majority of the Fates’ work, and knows that most destinies in real life are neither good nor bad, they simply are. She is sensible and polite, but has little patience for fools. She simply wants to practice her piano on her vacation, though her well-rehearsed playing lacks much emotion. She becomes interested in a dramatic little girl who dreams of becoming a famous musician, but lacks the focus or guidance to develop her natural talents.

*SPOILER ALERT: Nobody falls in love during the movie*

[flavoracle]

*Excerpts from the inspirational monologues each of the Fates deliver to their mortal friends near the end of the movie*

Emma Thompson’s character: “Yes, well maybe you will fail spectacularly at it! Perhaps you’ll pour your heart and soul and everything you’ve got into it, and still end up penniless and alone. I can’t tell you that everything will be alright in the end. But that doesn’t mean it won’t be a story worth telling. And it doesn’t mean it won’t be a life worth living.”

Julie Andrews’ character: “Yes, happy endings do exist in real life. The reason some people think they don’t is because in fairy tales, a happy ending finishes the book. In real life, they only close a chapter. All mortal lives end in death. That’s what ‘mortal’ means. But you can have an awful lot of happy endings along the way, and you still have time to write yourself a few more.”

Dame Maggie Smith’s character: “It’s a wonderful kind of magic, isn’t it? Telling stories. You shine a kind of spotlight on people and events, and your audience looks right where you want them to, never bothering with the details outside the spotlight or in between scenes. But for the one living the story, it’s quite a different experience. There are no training montages or editors to cut out the monotony in life. Only the audience gets to enjoy that convenience. A reader may complete a journey of a thousand miles just by turning a page, but the hero must walk each and every step. So if that is your idea of a ‘dull and ordinary life,’ then I’m afraid you’re in for a great deal of disappointment, my dear. Even the most extraordinary lives contain a good deal of drudgery between the exciting parts.”

[elspethsunschampion]

Holy cow, everybody you need to read this.  It’s amazingly perfect in EVERY WAY.

[ajohnnygoldmain]

Dave, this is fantastic! 400/10

[flavoracle]

A few minutes ago I saw a post about Julie Andrews and it reminded me that this post exists and I am still deliriously proud of it. And I figured that’s a good a reason as any to reblog it tonight!

[zenyattaonapinata]

RAVNICA GUILDS AS LINES IVE HEARD IN MY LOCAL CARD SHOP

Dimir: Where’s the agents of S.N.E.A.K? WHERE’S FBLTHP?

Selesnya: do you think there’s weed on Ravnica?

Boros: Our dear warlord Aurelia exemplar of justice wouldn’t treat me like this.

Gruul: *flips table* sorry I got excited.

Rakdos: it’s not fun and games until someone’s eyes are bleeding.

Izzet: I’m gonna do a stupid thing then possibly counter my own stupid thing.

Golgari: what are you doing in my swamp???

Azorius: JUDGE! He’s ruining my fun in playing Magic!

Orzhov: Kaya’s so cool. Maybe I should shave part of my eyebrow.

Simic: LIZARD WIZARD LIZARD WIZARD LIZARD WIZARD JELLYFISH

[gigaguessmtg]

Re: Boros, I did not know you attended the same LGS as @maris-solstice.

[atarnishedcompass]

Friend: Wanna hang out tomorrow?

Me: I actually performed an Activity yesterday. Please wait the three day recovery period to submit another inquiry

[gigaguessmtg]

“That ability is on cooldown.  Please Wait.”

[magicalgirlmindcrank]

HRT Day 0/ HRT Day 365

1 year HRT today

[magicalgirlmindcrank]

Ah… the blending of metal and flesh…

[gigaguessmtg]

*Interacts*

[liberalsarecool]

Voting to ‘hurt’ people is sick.

[spiroandthelacktones]

Also notice how fucked up the “he isn’t hurting the people he’s supposed to be hurting” mentality is, like it’s admitting you voted for him cause you thought he would be hurting people just the ones you don’t like

[gigaguessmtg]

Loathe as I am (not having read the article, admittedly) to give credit, one does have to remember...outside of a blatantly racist and hate-filled campaign, Trump did try to run with a campaign to appeal to the Everyman mentality.  Remember “Drain the Swamp”? My hope is that the person meant that he promised to root out corruption and waste, and instead just stomped his voter base underfoot.  Otherwise...yes, all the above is very, very true.

[gigaguessmtg]

Tropes that need to die:

Buffoon husband/long suffering wife marriage.  The belief of a man child husband with a babysitter wife is not only a long overused trope, but toxic in the expectations it sets for relationships.  It also stifles creativity.  I don’t want to see the shrew wife harping on the husband’s zany plans, I wanna see her givng him advice.  I don’t want to see her trying to block his revenge scheme, I want her to be dealt in and helping him out.  Come on guys, it’s 2019, show the world that marriages really are about a team making it work!