Gretchen

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[gigib11]

Catnip infused gin. This is everything. @taylorswift try this.

[lankybrunettepartdeux]

THE MOST PURE!!!

[wizardnuke]

[taylorswift]

Thank you so much for this incredible week. I wanted to sign some things for you for being the best, so we’re putting up a new autographed CD on my merch store that’s available until midnight eastern tonight. Love you guys!

Shop here: taylorswift.lnk.to/MEsigned

[gigib11]

Just got my today agh but now I’ve ordered this for my niece!! Can’t stoppp

[like-im-paralyzed-by-time]

LOOK AT THEM

[flower-swift]

how can you not

[gigib11]

This is so adorable!!

[a-g0lden-tattoo]

CIARA CAME AND DANCED WITH TAYLOR 

[gigib11]

Lol my first thought was dang guess she’s not on tumblr since she’s too busy jamming to Ciara!

[gigib11]

@taylorswift that was such a wondrous rainbow of joy and fun!!!

[aaronexplainsitall]

You seem like the right person to ask but what the fuck is going on in the Taylor Swift fandom? Are they OK?

Okay friend, I’m going to give you the run down. Are you sitting comfortably? 

2PM GMT - SOME TAYLOR SWIFT FANS DECIDE - FOR SEEMING ABSOLUTELY NO INTELLIGIBLE REASON - THAT THERE IS A MURAL IN NASHVILLE THAT RELATES TO TAYLOR’S NEW ALBUM

THERE ARE NO FACTS TO BACK THIS UP

TAYLOR HAS NOT SPOKEN OF THIS MURAL

HER TEAM HAVE NOT SPOKEN OF THIS MURAL

THE ONLY VAGUE LINK IS THAT IT RELATES TO HER INSTAGRAM AESTHETIC

THEY’RE GATHERING IN THEIR HUNDREDS BY THIS MURAL CONVINCED THAT SHE’S GOING TO SHOW UP

WHY?

ABSOLUTELY NO FUCKING REASON

FLASH FORWARD (and we’re taking on the world together, and there’s a drawer of my things at your place) TO 5PM GMT 

AND THE ENTIRE TAYLOR SWIFT FANDOM ON TUMBLR IS BRACING FOR THEIR MOM TO CALL THEM BOO BOO THE FOOL LIKE SHE DID WHEN THEY ASSERTED CONFIDENTLY THAT BECAUSE THERE WERE FIVE HOLES IN A FENCE ON ONE OF HER INSTAGRAM PICTURES THAT A COUNTDOWN WAS HAPPENING

THEY’RE ASSUMING CRASH POSITIONS

THIS IS GOING TO BE AN OUTING OF STUPIDITY TO THE ENTIRE WORLD

NEWS CREWS ARE GATHERING —- AGAIN FOR NO OTHER REASON THAN THE FANS THINK SOMETHING IS GOING TO HAPPEN WITH ABSOLUTELY NO EVIDENCE TO SUPPORT THIS THESIS

EVERYONE ON TUMBLR IS DISTRESSED

DISMAYED

“THE WORLD WILL KNOW THAT WE’RE INSANE!!” THEY CRY, THEIR SELF-AWARENESS THEIR LAST REDEEMING FEATURE

AND THEN

WHEN ALL HOPE IS LOST

TAYLOR ‘I’M POTENTIALLY THE ONLY PERSON MORE BATSHIT CRAZY THAN MY FANS’ SWIFT GETS HER CLOWN ASS ON INSTAGRAM

AND CONFIRMS THAT IT IS HER FUCKING MURAL AND THAT SHE IS ON THE WAY THERE

“YOU FIGURED OUT (my secrets and I figure out why you’re guarded, you say we’ll never make my parents’ mistakes) THE CLUE!” SHE SHRIEKS

THERE WERE NO CLUES

NOT ONE

THEY TURNED UP IN DROVES BECAUSE THEY ALL DESPERATELY NEED TO GET A JOB

AND THEN - 6PM GMT - THIS ANGEL/DEVIL WOMAN TURNS UP AT THE MURAL AND TAKES WHAT SEEMS LIKE A SELFIE WITH LITERALLY ABSOLUTELY EVERYONE WHO’S THERE - WHICH BY THE WAY, IS ABOUT 500 PEOPLE AT THIS POINT

AND SAYS! NOTHING ABOUT THE ALBUM! NOTHING ABOUT THE SINGLE! NOTHING ABOUT ANYTHING!

SHE JUST SHOWS UP AND SAYS HEY (it was enchanting to meet you) 

OUTSTANDING

LITERALLY OUTSTANDING 

WHO KNEW SUCH CLOWNERY AND TOMFOOLERY WAS POSSIBLE?

NOT I, GENTLE READER! NOT THE FUCK I!

I’m literally in love with Taylor Swift, I have never wanted to be a celebrity’s friend more than in this moment. She’s so messy and I live for literally every second of it, we are SOUL MATES. 

[taylorswift]

That’s it, that’s the tweet

[weloveshortvideos]

[mercedesbenzodiazepine]

Oh my fucking GOD

[likeamillionsuns]

this is the best thing I have ever seen with my own two eyes.

[jumpingjacktrash]

oh my gosh he’s gently play-biting them like they’re his own babies

[cozymochi]

@since-the-900s

[thespectacularspider-girl]

This lion’s name is Bonedigger and he was born with a crippling bone disease, so the keepers introduced three dachshunds to give him companionship; Abby, Bullet and Milo.

They’re his pride now!

[valkyrie-wrath-deactivated20190]

This is the only fucking thing I care about, do you hear me.

[stumbleonhometomycats]

When you sign a contract with an evil sea witch and things start going south

[floozys-deactivated20180908]

straight boys are weak and pathetic, queer girls walk into the ladies changing room and see ten women naked, do they stare? do they say something inappropriate? do they make them uncomfortable? no because they have the common fucking sense to recognise when a situation is sexual and that people deserve the most basic level of respect to not be harassed, yet here we are banning shorts and low cut tops in school because straight boys are weak and pathetic

[floozys-deactivated20180908]

okay i made this post this morning and it has since had eighty two thousand notes, it’s been featured on reddit, facebook, twitter i’ve been sent multiple death threats and messages that i don’t even want to describe 

and i have to apologise

i’ve seen the error of my ways

straight boys are not ’weak and pathetic’ 

straight boys are weak, pathetic and fucking annoying

[thebobblehat]

I will reblog this every time I see it posted

[cloacacarnage]

i know its the mets, but this is the coolest shit i’ve ever seen a human being do

[futureblackwakandan-deactivated]

Wtf????

[theryanproject]

Smoove with it too 

[meqabitch-deactivated20200901]

This is the kind of shit you see in anime that shows that a certain character is stronger than other characters. 

[bankuei]

“Pathetic.  You can’t even hold the bat you dare step to the plate? Have you no respect for the sport?”

[pardonmewhileipanic]

reminds me of this gif

[sueanoi]

[batter-sempai]

Baseball players are to be feared

[cynosurecosplay]

[thenamesdede]

Reblogging for the last one

[saito-91]

^Same for me

[amuzed1-deactivated20241106]

They just kept getting progressively more “woah”

[scp2008]

much woah

[lord-blongus]

Oh my god this is a lucky universe

[cleoselene-deactivated20260315]

every time this post comes around, my favorite part is the “I know it’s the Mets” qualifier at the beginning lmao like how baseball that this zillion note posts starts with “sorry for putting this hellteam on your dash, bUT”

[gigib11]

Taylor swift girls weekend has commenced

@taylorswift @taylornation

[historical-nonfiction]

Vogue Actually Printed This Crazy Diet In The 1970s

[dudewithmemes-deactivated202201]

My new diet

[gigib11]

Baby let the games/crafting begin! Getting my, my sister’s, and my niece’s outfits ready for the August 18 Miami show - section 119, row 12. Can’t wait to see you @taylorswift @taylornation! Who else will be there?

[jollyhollya]

Cinderella transformation dress for the cosplay contest at G6!

[thatsthat24]

THIS IS AMAZING AND BEAUTIFUL!!!

[4gifs]

[socially-awkward-supervillian]

Fun fact: Cheetahs only attack prey that runs

[youwinagainmoffat-blog]

jesus that is good to know.

[chandra75-deactivated20180905]

Yup, that’s the point you just stay still and let it do whatever the fuck it wants that doesn’t involved you getting eaten. 

[magehenry-moved-blog]

REALLY FUN FACT for big cats cheetahs are fucking docile as shit

my grandfather ran a cheetah sanctuary in south africa and he’d just lie with them and sleep among them and they’d rub against him and chirp at him they’re big fucking babies

[pkmnbreederbrianna]

Another Fun Fact: Cheetahs are incredibly nervous animals. One of the (many) reason’s they’re going extinct is that cheetahs are so sensitive and nervous, some of them are literally too nervous to breed. Others will breed, but stress themselves out so much, they’ll lose their cubs. So zoos with breeding programs had to figure out how to make cheetahs comfortable enough to first of all, get laid and secondly - not spazz themselves into miscarrying. So what’d they do? They gave the cheetah’s their very own Service Dogs! The dogs make them feel safe, protected and secure!

[emo-islandniles]

AJHHHHFDDGHH SO PRECIOUS

[renirabbit]

this post just got so much better

[enjoying-nudiustertian-deactiva]

THIS IS OFFICIALLY MY FAVOURITE POST

[wylltingtrees]

[sashayed]

this is emmett and cullen they are best friends

[clover11-10]

This is the greatest thing I’ve seen all day.

Dogs are truly angels.

[possumistic]

If you see this

You were visited by the magic kitten of rest. Reblog to have a good night’s sleep.

[gigib11]

Reblogging so my nephew naps!