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So, He Wears Feminine Things

This is addressed to the wife, partner, girlfriend or other who has just discovered that the man in your life secretly wears feminine lingerie at times. Quite how you discovered this is not important, so much as how you react to it. That in turn will depend on a number of variables including your upbringing, your faith, your education, and your expectations of your relationship.

The revelation is probably a shock and leaves you with a turmoil of feelings and questions. Is he gay? Is he having an affair. Does he not love me?

First, calm down and realize that it is unlikely to be the end of your world or the end of your relationship. Your man cross dresses, expressing a deep seated feminine side of him that you did not know about because he has endeavoured to keep it a secret from you, fearing to damage a relationship he holds as very important to him.

Interestingly, men who cross dress are far more common than one would think. It is not a perversion but an expression of something that is a part of him, something he probably realized as a teen or young man and something that he has likely been ambivalent about ever since, cycling through guilt and grudging acceptance several times over.

There is in fact a wide scale between what our culture has tended to simplify as a binary system of ‘male’ and ‘female’. Your man is a little way along that scale, to all intents and purposes a male and comfortable to be so, but with an added feminine component which our culture provides very little way for him to express. Ironically, women in our modern culture can dress either in frilly feminine clothes or very masculine clothing without comment. The same latitude is not given to men, and should they publicly wear anything that is in the slightest feminine, they are called ‘sissies’, ‘queers’ or other insulting names. Cruelly, our culture has defined ‘men’ in a very narrow and confining way.

Interestingly, our native, indigenous culture has long recognized ‘Two Spirit’ people, further recognizing that such people have value among them as those with an empathy for, respect for and understanding of both primary genders. Such people are respected, not reviled.

Is he having an affair? No, those feminine items are not souvenirs of some sordid affair. He likely bought these things, one by one, on those rare occasions that the opportunity arose. He keeps these things hidden somewhere, fearing your reaction if discovered.

Is he gay? Some cross dressers are, but most are not so inclined. However, cross dressers are often attracted to other men who cross dress, when dressed, though not to men dressed as men. There is a long term for this condition, likely odd to you.

Does he still love you? Yes. Ironically, statistics show that the majority of cross dressers in a steady relationship greatly value their relationship with their partner. This increases

their fear of damaging this relationship. Most cross dressers yearn to be better understood by their partners

The worst thing you can do is to insist your man throw away his stash of feminine clothes and promise never to even think of doing such a thing ever again. He will promise. He values you highly. He will try to keep such a promise. But he will not be able to in the long run. You will simply have driven him further into the depths of the closet.

The better alternative is to accept the situation, recognizing that this is not going to go away and that there is some wisdom in the old adage ‘if you can’t beat them, join them’. The vast majority of cross dressers are ‘sometimes’ dressers, with no wish to live full time as women.

One response could be to accept that your man needs to occasionally express his feminine side, give him specific opportunities to do so, but state that you do not wish to be directly involved. It would likely be a huge relief for him to shed the cloak of secrecy, no longer fearing your unexpected early return home and the trauma of discovery.

Another response is to take an active role. Some partners help their men when shopping for clothes, either in the store or online. Some partners enjoy secretly knowing what their man is wearing under male outer clothes while out visiting with friends or at dinner and a show. Some couples buy matching sets of underwear or nightwear and enjoy wearing them together. Some incorporate cross dressing into their sex life, role playing and enjoying sex while fully or partly dressed. The range of possible responses is wide. Outright rejection is an unwise choice and will inevitably sour or ultimately ruin your relationship.

That your man is less of a man than other men you know is a false supposition. Think of him as more than a man. The current terminology is ill defined and confusing, but think of him as a man who has a female persona beneath the surface, perhaps well hidden but yearning to be expressed.

Yes, there is a risk in opening any door into your relationship. A few cross dressing men ultimately cross a threshold and seek to live full time as women, perhaps entering new relationships with others similarly inclined. A few may even commit to surgical procedures that confirm their new gender identity.

But, this essay addresses the vast majority of men who seek ‘sometimes’ to express a feminine side of themselves that is suppressed by our western culture. They seek to be better understood, not vilified. Please give them space to be who they fully are.

PS Readers, if you can use this letter yourself or know of someone to whom this would be helpful, please feel free to repost or copy.

AmandaJane70

rachelcherrycd

Thanks Amanda! So true…

lauracal78

A well written letter. Thank you Amanda. Such true words.🥰

kastleofkink

yourgfdgirlfriend

The trembling is the best; it usually goes along with whining and whimpering and involuntarily jerking away, because they’re so sensitive and overwhelmed, especially when you already wrung one or two orgas out of them.

chilli-uk

I can never get past Stage 3 on my own. I need help.

subsaero

sticosub-naked-slave-deactivate

Training

mommyden

bellefeets

teazdndenied

“Baby please? Not like this?” The worry in his voice was so fearful it made her moisten with arousal.

At first he’d thought it was just more of her seemingly constant teasing but now he wasn’t quite so sure. Her nyloned toes had been slowly, lightly, teasing along the outline of his cock for so long that she now had it desperately aroused, quivering, and oozing precum.

It had been over three weeks since she’d last allowed him release, which meant his balls were now so heavy with pent-up cum and his cock so ready to burst that his ability to exert any self control and resist her seductive manipulations was now all but gone.

“Shhhh….” she hushed in response to his plea. “Stay still, honey…. don’t move a muscle.”

Sure, she loved to tease him. Truth be known, she was an insatiable cocktease. But for her, her craving for control went far beyond simply denying his orgasm and making him ache for release.

She also loved reminding him that she could also make him cum anytime… anywhere… and in any way that she liked. His pleasure was completely under her control and she absolutely loved having his orgasms at her mercy.

She smirked to herself, savoring the way he was trying so hard to hold back. This man was a wreck. His breathing erratic. Face beaded with perspiration. Body trembling. All from nothing more than her toes just barely teasing across his trapped, desperately needy erection.

Fuck. It was so hot. The feeling of sexual power she had over this man had her absolutely dripping.

He began to sigh…. moan… whimper… the feeling of an orgasm now building up within him at a tortuously slow pace, like a slow rolling train that he had absolutely no ability to control.

“Oh god…,” he whimpered, realizing she now had him at the point that if she continued much longer he’d have no prayer of holding back.

“Please??,” he begged once more. “Please stop??”

“What’s the matter, baby?,” she teased in a voice that was so sexy, so seductive he literally gasped as his cock twitched in response and nearly erupted.

She chuckled in response. “Poor baby…. are you close to cumming, honey?”, she teased in a wickedly taunting voice.

That was it. She’d had him trapped so perilously close to the edge that he was unable to fight it off any longer. His cock twitched mightily as the first throes of his orgasm began.

But, as soon as he cried out in defeat she wickedly drew back her toes, leaving his cock cruelly trapped in orgasm purgatory - the cycle already started beyond the point of no return but with his cock denied even the slightest touch he had no hope of crashing over the edge.

His whine of frustration was so tormented it made her moan with arousal. She watched with delight as his split second of pleasure suddenly evolved into moments of nearly unbearable frustration.

When his cock finally surrendered to the reality that his explosive orgasm was going to remain just out of reach he collapsed back into his chair, panting and dazed, a damp spot spreading on his pants from where a small amount of cum was able to drool from his still swollen, still aching hard-on.

Looking at him with a sympathetic pout she cooed, “Aww, couldn’t hold back, baby? And you were sooo close, weren’t you? Poor thing, that looked frustrating. Was it sweetheart? Was that… frustrating?”

hardmasterfist-sissytraining

A proper prostate Milking ( while in Chastity )

1. Insert Large Butt Plug to apply pressure on the prostate.

2. With subject laying on their back and legs spread open place Vibrator behind subjects penis.

3. Apply pressure with Vibrator rolling from penis to anus in a circular motion.

4. The subject will begin to feel their orgasm build just as if you were edging them.

5. In about 5 - 6 minutes the subject’s cum will begin to Ooze out of his chastity cage. Keep rolling until cum stops oozing. With all the cum drained out, the subject will still be extremely horny and sensitive. Even though the subject has been completely drained of cum they will still feel as if they are on the edge of an orgasm that will never come.

Reblog and follow if you agree

Hardmasterfist is not a slave! Hardmasterfist dose not need a mistress. Hardmasterfist trains Beta boys to embrace theirs true Sissy Selfs. Helping them to release their inhibitions and become the perfect Sissy.

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sensualspiral

Are Submissive men weak?

I was asked today what is it about submissive men I like, are they not weak? So here are my thoughts about this…. outside of the fantasy of the internet or the male constructed image of what a dominant woman is…..

A truly submissive man is rarely weak in any sense, nor are they lazy, or stupid or a doormat.

Relationships, connections with and submission from a submissive man come in many forms., Here are my experiences, observations and the traits I like.

1. Often very intelligent, life’s thinkers… this appeals to me, clever minds need to be switched off. They also usually appreciate a clever woman and are not threatened by that.

2. True gentleman, they open doors for you, pull back chairs in restaurants, give you their coat if you are cold. I personally love this, it makes you feel looked after.

3. Your pleasure is theirs ….. this covers a wide range of things from making you laugh to making you orgasm, usually giving in nature rather than taking. There is nothing hotter than a man finding happiness, pleasure or arousal, by facilitating yours. They are usually appreciate being guided or for a woman to take the lead completely, without seeing it as Criticism or some kind of assault on their masculinity. Getting laid is not usually high on their agenda, getting you off usually is.

4. They see the beauty you have inside and out and usually put greater value on the beauty inside.

5. They appreciate the things you do for them, and notice when you do.

6. They love making you feel better or good. Usually they notice when your not feeling good too and do their best to help.

7. They are Attentive -Foot rubs, massages, bringing you coffee, stuff that just needs doing. They usually like to talk, share dreams, ideas and generally just spend time with you.

8. They will take over when you need them to… they understand that need and even the most Dominant of dommes need to just check out sometimes, submissive men will help you do that, simply because that’s what you need …. they like to meet your needs.

9. They are usually very passionate, about life, their interests, you!

10. They like to be showered with affection and praise and will do things to get that.

11. Hold you in high regard and tell you so, the love and devotion a submissive man will express to his chosen dominant is a beautiful thing.

12. They are comfortable with their masculinity and their submission, they adore the dominance of femininity.

13. Usually fans of a corseted woman, a big plus for me.

14. Usually protective of their dominant, they usually insist that others treat their lady with the same respect they do.

15. Often sensitive and feeling

16. Value cuddles and intimacy

17. Thoughtful gift givers, even if the gift is their time.

18. They worship you, this can take many forms from kissing your feet to telling you they feel lucky to be in your life.

19. Motivated, usually in most aspects in life, life’s doers.

20. They are not intimidated by your confidence, sexuality, success, ambition, achievements, they usually find that a turn on.

I could go on and on, but I find no weakness in a submissive man. Quite the opposite - I see strength in someone knowing what makes them happy, is confident to ignore the stereotype of “manly” behaviour, has complete respect for women and sees my needs equal to or greater than his own…

I give thanks to the universe for creating such a glorious creature as the submissive man and I’m sure many other dominant women do to!

dirtythingsthatturnmeonposts

What excites you most about being a Domme?

Simply put, being a submissive’s safe haven in the most nonsexual way possible. (Sex, is merely the cherry on the cake and by no meansnecessary to have a valid and solid D/s relationship)

There’s nothing more rewarding and damn humbling than to see asubmissive change because of you. And by change I mean see and help themdiscover and embrace who they are, help them become the best possible versionof themselves. I doubt there’s a word in the English dictionary that can conveythe emotions that flow through a Dom(me) when not only a submissive can betheir true self, in whatever form that is, but when they literally offer youthe key to their heart, mind and soul on a platter. When they’re no longerafraid of letting you see all of them; the bad, the ugly, the fears, the insecurities…

I have to follow it throughand say that this goes both ways. A dominant is nothing without a submissive, Iwould not be the Domme I am today had it not been for the wonderful men I wasproud to call my own and my babyboy.

dirtythingsthatturnmeonposts

In reply to an ask I got :)

practicalflr-deactivated2022092

Chastity

Chastity is a curious fetish. It’s curious because it’s a fetish that morphs into a lifestyle with relative ease. It’s also a fetish that is just as addicting for the wearer, as it is for the key holder. The part that makes chastity the most curious however, is just how quickly it can change the mindset of the wearer and key holder. It doesn’t take very long at all to recognize just how powerful D/s can be. Chastity does however, have a few learning curves to it, but they can also be a part of the fun.

When starting out with chastity, it can take a bit of time to get the right fit. There’s a lot of components that need to fit together just right. Too tight can mean serious health consequences, where as too loose might mean the cage falls off without the key. Taking the time to figure out the right fit will beneficial for longer term wear, and putting an end to pinching, or chafing.

It’s important that the base ring fits snugly, just before it cuts off blood circulation. When you’re first starting out, you’ll find that over time, you’ll need to gradually move to smaller rings as the body adjusts. When you’re just starting out with chastity, the male body is going to rebel against it for the first few weeks. In fact, the device will likely not be able to be worn overnight because in the middle of the night, nocturnal erections will prevent him from sleeping. Not because it’s painful, but because the penis is trying to push the cage away from the body. This causes the scrotum to pull against the ring causing it to stretch. This stretching makes him feel a burning sensation that doesn’t really hurt, but it’s a strong enough feeling to prevent sleep.

Don’t worry, with a few repeated attempts to wear the device overnight, the scrotum will stretch and the burning will cease until the cage can be worn all night long. All attempted erections can be slept through, and he will awake as a very horny locked submissive. Being able to stay locked for a full night is a milestone. The stretching/burning sensation will come back when attempting to do 2 - 3 or more nights in a row, because the body is still not used to it fully. Eventually all this will stop, and he’ll be able to stay chaste indefinitely, without losing any sleep.

Chafing is another concern, because it’s a device attached to a moving part of the body, the ring will tend or irritate the skin and cause it to go raw. One good way to combat this, is to use a clear diaper rash ointment which works like a lube, or remove the cage until it heals then try again. One good brand of ointment is Penaten daily clear protection cream, its on Amazon. This can also be used inside the cage, because it repels moisture. It prevents any kind of infections from sweat and daily use while also allowing the penis to slide around in the cage instead of sticking to the sides. It makes it much easier for him to go pee, without struggling to line his penis up with the hole.

Over time as the body get used to the cage, the skin will stretch, and jumping down a size in the base ring may be a good idea. The cage will often begin to pull forward after a few days of wear, making pullout very possible, if not tempting. Moving to a smaller ring at this point, is a good idea.

Attempted erections over time will lessen to a degree. Not because he’s losing the ability to get hard, quite the opposite in fact, when he’s allowed to be hard, he’ll be harder than he’s ever been! However, his body will have learned that it cannot win against the cage, and will accept defeat. It will not try to get erect as often, which means, his penis will be flaccid most of the time. If you look at the cage, and see where his flaccid penis is resting, it will likely be a short distance away front the end of the cage. This means, upgrading to a smaller cage would be beneficial.

The cage should fit around the flaccid penis so that it rests touching the end of the cage. Not straining against it. The object is not to cram the penis into the cage, so that even when its resting its backing up into his body. The cage should match his flaccid size, so that when he attempts to get hard, he’s gently denied. Causing him to squirm in frustration and submission.

One other important part to remember when fitting a chastity cage, is the space between the base ring and the cage itself. The gap should not be very wide, it should be wide enough to enable circulation. It should compress the scrotum, so that the balls are snugly held in place. If the gap is too wide, when he gets cold, or is active, or even sleeping, his testicles might slip through that gap, and that can cause pain or injury. Especially if one testicle can slip through and the other cannot.

It is for reasons exactly like that, that the submissive should have access to a chastity key at all times. It doesn’t mean he gets to keep a key on his key chain. But perhaps in a sealed, stapled and signed envelope, that can’t be opened without being noticed. It’s also something that can cause him to be extra horny, knowing the key is within his reach, but he can’t use it without his key holder knowing. So safety first, can be beneficial in more ways than one.

It can be a lot of fun to figure out the right size, and experiment with chastity, it’s really the perfect way to figure out if chastity is for you or not. Once you get past the fitting stages, and getting the body used to it, the real fun begins. It’s the point where, she truly gets to decide if and when, he gets unlocked.

A whole new psychological level unlocks with chastity. One very interesting aspect of chastity is that it’s often a male driven fantasy, but the benefits of it hit the female harder. After a few days of keeping him under lock and key, she often thinks about it throughout the day, and really enjoys the extra attention he’s trying to pour onto her. His puppy dog eyes, his eagerness to please, the housework gets done, dinner gets made and she just gets to relax. A few days of this, and she begins to feel his frustration. She can feel it like he feels it, but in a different way. She feels the power of it, where as, he feels the helplessness of it.

This power that she feels, makes her feel desired, while at the same time, having her own desire. It’s an exquisite mix of emotion that helps her to discover just how much power she has, which gives her the confidence to become a little more dominant. It doesn’t take her very long to realize she loves the idea of chastity. This is a realization that even the submissive hasn’t had yet. She’s leap frogged his understanding of chastity, and it has now become her idea and her fantasy, and no longer his.

It can actually take the submissive a substantially longer period of time to realize how powerful chastity really is. At first he may have been the one pushing it, trying to move faster, wanting her to be more dominant. However, once she truly gets it, she’s going to be taking control in ways he’s not yet comfortable with. Especially when it comes to sex, and realizing that he doesn’t actually get to even touch himself while pleasuring her. The intensity of that alone, can make a submissive realize what he’s gotten himself into!

This might make him become resistant, to be rebellious at first. He may even want out of the cage, just as an excuse to masturbate. It’s okay, if he seriously wants out, and doesn’t want to submit any further, let him out. Within a short period of time, a couple days, or a couple weeks, he’ll miss it. Once a submissive has had a small taste of chastity, especially well fitting chastity, it’s nearly impossible for him to ignore it for long. It calls to him. The feeling of being locked is a feeling that is so addicting, so powerful, that he’ll be begging to be locked again.

This time around he’ll understand more of what he’s gotten himself into, and will be more cooperative. Non sexual activities will become sexual for him. Every chore, will be an act of service, which he will hope for a reward from her. Everything he does, will be in hopes to receive an unlock. Going out for dinner and a movie, might get him feeling hopeful, until she teases him by saying she feels like a bath and a full body massage when they get home. He knows he’ll be locked all night, in service to her.

Eventually he’ll have the same epiphany she had, he will feel his submission take over his whole body. He’ll realize he’s not in control, that he’s surrendered to her, and he has no idea what’s going to come next. He will stop trying to be unlocked through good behavior, and realize good behavior was never why he was unlocked. He gets unlocked, only through obedience to her. It’s a pivotal shift in a female led relationship, where he suddenly gets what it means to be a submissive. That’s when chastity really begins.

Enjoy articles like this?

Check out my book series Practical FLR!

misswenndy

Submissive Men

I think it’s time someone cleared the air around what it means to be a submissive man. The public perception of a submissive man is not a good one. There is a huge taboo on it, and many misperceptions on what a submissive man actually is. This is really sad, because many women are missing out on some fantastic men, that just might meet them on all the levels they always wished a man could meet her on. But since he admits he’s submissive, he is often dismissed as a potential partner in her eyes, due to these misunderstandings.

First of all, the biggest misperception is that being submissive is weak. Now lets take a look at this from a few angles. Being submissive can simply mean, he likes to be led, and he likes to put others before himself. That he is less aggressive, but more compassionate and thoughtful and selfless.

Now many women, like chivalry, and being courted. For chivalry to exist, men must put aside their own needs and put hers first, for “regular men” this usually comes with the ulterior motive to get into her pants. For a submissive man, this comes naturally and his desire to make her happy, and putting her first, makes him happy. So, does a man that wants to please, and wants to make her happy, does that make him weak? In what way?

Now if you turn it around and look at a “regular man” who is courting and being chivalrous simply to get into her pants for his own selfish needs what do you see? I see a man that simply wants to use her, and once he’s “conquered” her, he will likely move onto the next woman that he deems worthy of chasing. Her happiness is often a non issue to him as long as he gets laid. This is what we see in night clubs and bars all over the world. This isn’t uncommon. We live in a world where we actually have to explain the definition of consent, lets not forget that.

So, how is a submissive man weak, compared to a “ regular man”? If you really have a good look, the “regular man” has no commitment, he has no burdens, no sacrifices, therefore, where is the strength? When you look at the submissive man, he has to put aside his own needs, that takes strength.

He has a willingness to learn who she is, and what she needs, and strive to make her happy, that takes a lot of mental strength and self control. And, all of that, is before she is even interested in dominating him, he must show and prove his strength of character to her, long before she even considers the idea.

So he must be strong on the emotional level as well as mental. Now physically, “regular men” and submissive men, is quite irrelevant. There are submissive men of all forms and “regular men” of all forms, so this isn’t about who is physically stronger. So that’s a non issue.

Physically however, submissive men, tend to be more diplomatic, and try to resolve problems without resorting to violence whenever possible. “Regular men” on the other hand, tend to be more aggressive, and lack empathy to greater degrees, and tend to resort to violence before proper communication. This is seen all the time in road rage and so on, and lets not even get into rape and all that…

Another misconception about submissive men, is that, they’re gay. This one is huge, and makes many submissive men hide in the closet afraid to express their submissive tendencies because of the strong taboo. Being submissive, and being gay, are extremely different things. That includes submissive’s that gravitate toward cross dressing. Submissive men, may be a little more gentle, and sometimes a little less masculine. At the same time, we do have a huge issue of toxic masculinity in the world. So submissive men kind of bring a bit of a balance to what it means to be masculine. Men are brought up into a world, that teaches them that showing emotions as a man is gay or weak.

Submissive men, want to show their emotions, because they understand that suppressing these emotions isn’t healthy for anyone in their lives. Allowing emotion to flow freely through them, enables them to be vulnerable with the women in their lives, who are no strangers to vulnerability, with toxic masculinity always chasing her.

When you take a good look at vulnerability in this way, you can begin to see it as a strength and not a weakness. A submissive man allowing himself to be vulnerable means he must open up in all the ways he fears the most.

In other words, he must face his deepest fears, and allow himself to be naked, emotionally with his partner. This is something many men, never, ever, experience. They’re not strong enough to let go that much. They’re too busy believing that being macho and unfeeling is somehow the only way to be strong in this world, and as a result we have a world at war, which is nothing more than a big dick contest.

So submissive men, actually bring a balance to masculinity, that can meet the feminine on the levels most men never can. So instead of seeing submissive men as being gay, perhaps we can change the perception to having the balls to be emotional.

Even if a submissive is a cross dresser, or a sissy, it does not mean he is gay. It means, he wants to understand the feminine, that the raw power felt exploring what it means to be feminine, humbles him as a man. It actually helps him become a better man, because he is balancing his masculine and feminine sides within him, which will give him a stronger intuition, bring him more in touch with his body, and the natural world.

It will make him feel more alive, more in tune, and give him heightened senses. So exploring the feminine side isn’t necessarily a bad thing for a man to do, and I would recommend that all men be open minded enough, and dare I say, strong enough to actually explore it a little.

Now many men, especially if not submissive, reading this, would be offended by that. If you’re not comfortable enough to explore the feminine side, how can you call yourself a macho man? There’s a weakness there, inhibitions, fear of vulnerability. It has nothing to do with being gay, that’s the excuse that you come up with to rationalize your decision to never explore it. The ego in full force.

There is only one thing that makes anything gay, and there is nothing wrong with being gay either. But lets at least get our definitions straight. The only time anything is gay, is if it’s being done, or desired to be done, with the same gender. That’s it, nothing more.

A girl can take a man up the ass with a strap on, and it’s not gay. It’s anal sex. It’s not gay sex. He can desire to be taken up the ass by his girlfriend, or even on his own, with a butt plug. Again, not gay. If he desires a man to be doing it, then yes, that’s gay. A man wearing panties is not gay either. A man being feminine isn’t gay. A man being with another man, masculine or feminine, that’s gay. I think you’re getting the point I’m making?

I hope you are, because, the stigma is ridiculous, and the misperception needs to rectified. There are so many submissive men in this world that deserve a chance.

Submissive men must be so strong, to face the extreme levels of vulnerability to submit to a woman in a relationship, that strength and value is often not given credit. So much of what we see on the internet portrays submissive men as weak, and worthless, to be degraded and humiliated and treated like a dog. Now, the idea of the things above, in fantasy, can be a turn on, because it caters to a submissive’s desire to submit, no matter how hardcore.

But in reality, it’s a very different picture. In reality it can be a whole lot more romantic and intimate, passionate and charming. A submissive can be cherished by a woman, and make a fantastic partner that can really meet her on all the right levels and satisfy her needs, not just sexually, but around the house, and in life in general. He wants to. He needs to.

It’s a part of who he is, to make her happy is to make him happy. He’s a man with the ulterior motive of making her happy to make him happy. It’s a very different approach than simply getting laid and moving on to the next.

A relationship with one partner dedicated to making the other partner happy, is difficult to fail. It sets a foundation from the start and it has the ability to evolve, because communication is open. Trust is inherent. Where there’s trust, there’s always going to be passion and intimacy. Without trust, there are always insecurity issues, cheating issues, masturbation issues…. etc… With a submissive man, all of those issues are non existent. It helps her to fully relax knowing he’s there for her, without any doubt of his intentions. How many women and men, could benefit from this kind of relationship?

And that, is precisely why I wrote a book dedicated to introducing this kind of relationship in a gentle way that doesn’t scare people away with intense fetishes or erotica. A practical approach to a relationship that can set you both free in ways you can’t even imagine yet. The human body is designed to love, to feel, to be vulnerable, to let go of inhibitions and be accepted for who you really are, with another, down to the deepest level of your soul.

misswenndy

THE BEAUTY OF DOMINANCE

Owning a submissive, can be one of the most beautiful things a woman can ever own. There is so much potential in owning a submissive male. I say own, within the context of love being the foundation. It’s not a forced ownership, since he wants to be owned, but make no mistake, the true power really does lie in her capable hands. Once a submissive goes down the road of being owned, he feels like he belongs to her. She feels like he is her personal property. This is a bond between them, that only deepens in time.

It really does get to a point where, a submissive male wouldn’t want to be anywhere else than under her complete control. He trusts and loves her so completely, that he surrenders to her in love. He knows any other way to be in life, pales in comparison compared to being totally devoted to her. He dares not disobey, even if disobedience is easy, or even if, he can get away with it without her noticing. A true submissive, will obey for the sake of obeying her. He will have no second thoughts about it, his ego is completely hers to mold. He has become loyal to her authority, and her as a person.

This is why it’s so incredibly important that she understands her power, and does not use it to abuse him. Because she can, easily, abuse him, and many submissive’s will take that abuse for a while, when they should be standing up and saying no. The fault always lies with the abuser, it is her responsibility, and a submissive, should know, that it’s always okay to stand up and say no, when he feels abused. She needs to respect that for the sake of a healthy relationship. She also needs to respect that for the sake of her loving submissive, and to always have an optimal level of willing submission from him at all times. The sheer level of submission that can come from his is on par with bliss.

Once in control, all trust issues disappear, she never has to worry about what he thinks of her, and most importantly, he is always desiring her. She never has to have body insecurity issues, because his tongue is eager to be used at all times of the day, any time she wants to use it. Any where she wants to use. For as long as she wants to use it. This eliminates any kind of guilt she has ever had about sex. It helps her establish her own sexual desire, and to always please herself when she feels the urge. It’s total freedom of female sexuality and expression.

She gets to wear anything she wants, around the house, or out of the house, often, acting single, while keeping her submissive as her owned monogamous pet. She can choose monogamy too, the choice is hers. She understands that he gets no say in her sex life, ever, unless she gives him a say. But, she gets total say in his sex life. He may never even get an erection without her permission. He may never touch his penis ever again without her permission. Or he may be tied down any time the cage comes off, if it comes off.

His ass is hers to smack, spank, or enjoy with a strap-on, anytime. He gets no say in that either. His body is her amusement park, and the sheer joy that she can have exploring his body, even with just her hands and nails, while he squirms can be a delight few women have ever known. She also gets to dress him however she wants to dress him. Many women love feminizing a male because it turns him into one of her accessories, in the same way she once played with dolls. It’s incredibly fun to dress a submissive up and put her personal touch on him, and always have him wearing what she wants. He is hers to own, and he will look owned by her. He gets no say in that, except in vanilla situations that may call for a more masculine look.

But the most interesting part about it, is that vanilla life becomes the play, it is no longer the serious formal identity it used to be, for either of you. You are dominant and submissive, that’s who you really are, and even in the vanilla world, there is that knowing of who owns who. Her ownership of him will always be the forefront of his world, and it will always be her expectation, that he is at her feet on demand, at any time.

The beauty of dominance is that expectation. The expectation that he will endure any and all kinds of sexual tease, that he will give up all sexual rights of his body, and be hers entirely. He accepts her as the authority and as the key to his sex life, and may remain without sexual release for weeks or months or years. His sacrifice is never ignored by her, but accepted with love, and enforced with her power and dominance. She will make sure that he always honors his submission to her by remaining strict.

The beauty of dominance means she never has a worry, fear or doubt about him ever again. This will cause a huge surge in her own confidence as a woman, if she hasn’t discovered her dominance before. Once she has that confidence, she is geared to live the best life she can possibly live, with her submissive loyally at her side, supportive of her decisions, and always helping her succeed. In return, she is his structure in life, she is the missing piece of the puzzle he has always needed, the purpose he has always longed for. That’s the beauty of dominance.

Teach Him!

One very interesting aspect of a FLR, and in particular, of submissive males, is that they are eager to please. Submissive males want to please, it makes them feel good to give pleasure. Especially sexual pleasure, but it doesn’t have to be sexual. They will happily clean the bathroom just to be told they’re a good boy, and win approval or brownie points toward a possible release from chastity. However, most submissives males, while eager to please, are quite clueless on how to go about it. They want to please her their way, in any way they know how. A smart submissive understands he must not only be eager to please, but also, eager to learn.

Lets face it, most males in general, are terrible at eating pussy. If she isn’t on her back shuddering, and grabbing his hair and pulling him closer, moaning while she does it, he’s not doing a good enough job. As his dominant, never be afraid to speak up about it from the get go. Tell him exactly how you want him to improve, tell him what techniques work and also tell him to be creative. When you don’t know what’s coming, sometimes that can bring very intense orgasms. So a sudden change in tongue pattern, or a finger at the right time can make all the difference in the world.

Remember that his orgasms depend upon the quality of your orgasms, so he has every incentive to please you the right way. Give him lots of opportunities to practice, that’s the beauty of having a submissive in the first place, he’s always ready and eager for you. You can quickly teach him to be an oral expert, even if it was an awkward road to getting there, submissives learn quickly if you’re dedicated to teaching them. Before long all you will have to do is lay back and relax while he goes to town, and that’s how it should be. Your pleasure should always be his only focus, that’s just the nature of the relationship.

Don’t just stop at oral though, and especially not at just eating pussy. Keep him chaste long enough, and any inhibitions he ever had about eating ass will disappear like they never existed in the first place. Of course, be healthy about it, but not shy! Teach him how to best perform oral on both areas simultaneously, so that when you’re in the midst of cumming, your back door is being pleasured as well, sending you to new heights of orgasmic bliss. Then you can have him orally service you anywhere, any time you please, and be an expert at it.

But don’t just stop there, teach him so much more, teach him, how to give you massages, feet, back, sensual, soft, with / without oil... Whatever it is you prefer. With tongue, without tongue. Hands only, or tongue only... You get to customize how and what he learns. Teach him to pamper you. Teach him what lotions do, moisturizers, and creams. Teach him to shave you, paint your nails, give you a pedicure. Teach him that your femininity is his priority. And don’t let him ever avoid your period, show him everything about it, teach him how to use a tampon, show him the blood. Get him so comfortable with your period that he never shys away when you talk about it. So that, he can provide you emotional and physical support when you tell him you’re on it. Even to the point where, he knows your cycle as good as you do, and anticipates the little things before it even starts. Teach him everything about you, he’s your submissive, you are his priority, so don’t ever let him get away with slacking off, or avoiding one thing but not another. Teach him so much, that, he is your rock, your confidant, your safe haven, your support, your security, your trust, and your love. Then be all those things for him, because you value his submission to you, and cherish the gift that it is.

The Strap On

One of the biggest kinks in a FLR is the strap on. There are many reasons why they’re so common and popular. They benefit both partners equally in different ways making it the perfect sex toy to have in your kinky collection. However it goes beyond simply being a sex toy, as a strap on can have huge psychological effects as well as physical. It can really enhance the D/s dynamic because its the perfect tool for role reversal.

When a strap on is combined with chastity, some real magic can happen between partners. The longer he is chaste, the more likely he is to crave some sort of anal play, as his prostate gets bigger and more sensitive, craving any kind of stimulation. Even if he doesn’t crave anal play, it is actually healthy for him to have the prostate stimulated, during long lock ups, so it’s for his own good anyway! This is why a strap on can be so much fun. He either craves it, or it is humiliating to him, or both!

This is perfect for a domme as well, as she gets to discover the power of having a penis between her legs, and his moans of pleasure or discomfort, as she begins to thrust into him. This alone, can be an extremely high level of power exchange and very erotic for her. She can take him with her strap on until he is whimpering horny and deep in sub space. There are no concerns about him cumming from the strap on, because this generally requires a lot of time and concentrated effort and technique to achieve. It is possible, if that is what she wants, but she has full control over that. Leaving him horny, makes for an eager tongue after she is finished taking him with the strap on. A tongue in which, she is equally eager for!

The strap on is much more fun than simply just bending him over, there are many ways in which a strap on can be used, which can make it a symbol of her dominance over him. Often, a strap on is bigger than his penis, and she can tease him about that, saying her cock is bigger than his, while taking him with it. Or for even more fun, she could allow him to wear it over his cage, and allow him to have intercourse with her using it. Since its bigger than his own penis, she can tease and say how much better it feels.

She could even go so far as to name her cock, and have her sub respect it, by cleaning it after use. Or sucking it to lube it up. Just looking down into his eyes can give both partners a power exchange rush that creates a strong erotic charge. She can also make him practice his sucking techniques, if she plans on bringing other males into the relationship at some point. Once she has named her strap on, her submissive will have to worship it in the same way he worships her body, because it’s her cock. The psychological effects this can have, can send him deep into subspace, and she can keep him there.

The strap on can also come in very handy as a punishment. Sometimes a submissive just needs a good hard strap on session, ordering him to get the strap on, and bend over on command, can be a powerful technique. Taking him with it often, even when he’s not in the mood, will help him adjust his behavior to understand, it’s not his bum, it’s hers. His resistance to it, will soon drop away, and the strap on will become a symbol of her power.

Perhaps eventually, it may be the only way he is allowed to cum. This can be common if she likes to feminize him, he can literally become the female in the relationship, and cum from anal only, while still caged. There’s so many possibilities with the strap on, including attachments that can provide her stimulation while using it making it even more fun. It’s just one more tool in the femdom box, that she can use to completely dominate and own her submissive in all the ways she’s always wanted. It is all about her, after all.

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The Benefits of a FLR

There is a level of relationship that is simply above and beyond what conventional relationships offer or experience. Human beings have the ability to connect with each other on levels deeper than the vast majority of humans have ever experienced.

Conventional relationships tend to scratch the surface layer of this connection. They offer you a partner that is compatible with you in the sense of chemistry or hobbies. You have things in common and your personalities tend to match each other. These are the qualities people look for in a partner. If there’s chemistry and attraction, that’s often as far as the conventional relationship needs to go in order to get the job done.

Chemistry and attraction is enough to scare loneliness away and keep you occupied planning a life with this partner. This is often enough for many people, they have kids and live happily ever after or until mid life crisis… Whichever comes first. Despite it being an acceptable relationship it’s often a relationship that simply doesn’t go deep enough for many people. There’s an understanding that while it’s deep enough to love, and not be lonely and build a life, it’s not deep enough to show your partner who you really are.

Yet the conventional relationship is so valuable, that you cherish your partner, you also want to take them into a deeper connection. This is where a female led relationship begins. It cannot begin at any earlier stage, not if it’s to be a long term lifestyle type of relationship. Female led relationships demand commitment.

That’s the first benefit. A relationship that demands commitment is already stronger than the conventional relationship and signing a legal document at marriage. Female led relationships demand commitment long before marriage. This kind of commitment is deeper than marriage ever could be, because it’s experienced it’s developed in pure trust and surrender. Which leads to to benefit number 2.

A female led relationship has a built in trust. There is never any concern about what the other partner may be doing if they’re late from work or who they might be looking at. There’s never any jealousy, or miscommunication. The trust runs deep enough that it is beyond worry. It creates benefit number 3. Loyalty.

As dominant and submissive, there’s a level of loyalty that brings both partners together on an emotional level so profound it’s palpably felt. They both just feel safe with each other, and that allows for both partners to fully be themselves without judgement. Which is benefit number 4. Open communication.

Open communication means that all emotions are talked about, all vices, all stress, every little thing that could cause trouble is recognized and understood. It creates a support system for each other where any and all arguments can be swiftly dealt with, without anger, but with love. Open communication eliminates the conventional power struggle and gives the fifth benefit of a FLR. A new way to argue that doesn’t jeopardize the relationship.

Because of this harmony sexuality plays a major role. It brings both partners sexuality into the relationship. As dominant and submissive, every aspect of the relationship can be sexualized if the need arises. Which means both partners can always be in a state of sexual charge. The sixth benefit of a FLR. Sexual charge.

Sexual charge is something few human beings ever experience. Sexual charge is not the same as being horny. Being sexually charged is a state of being where your body is filled up with sexual energy beyond your sexual organs. When this occurs it feels like you are filled with vitality. Everything in life just has more zest more vibrancy more excitement. Just being alive is miraculous when you are sexually charged. Which has many other effects on your personality and how you deal with stress and daily life.

It also gives you the ability to meet your partner at the deepest of sexual depths and power exchange far beyond what a conventional relationship can offer.

These are just a few of the real benefits that a female led relationship can offer. To find out more benefits of a FLR and how to take steps to living this lifestyle check out my book series Practical FLR.

Thank you

J.M Scott

tru2bkind

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Submissive Men

Submissive men, may be a little more gentle, and sometimes a little less masculine. At the same time, we do have a huge issue of toxic masculinity in the world. So submissive men kind of bring a bit of a balance to what it means to be masculine. Men are brought up into a world, that teaches them that showing emotions as a man is gay or weak.

I hope you are, because, the stigma is ridiculous, and the misperception needs to rectified. There are so many submissive men in this world that deserve a chance.

My Practical FLR series, introduces the female led relationship lifestyle in a gentle way, for those of you wondering how to explain it to your partner. Gift them my books!

Want to discover the wonderful benefits of a female led relationship? Check out my Practical FLR book series here!

teazdndenied

She’d simply shook her head and laughed softly when she’d read his message that night on Tumblr as they chatted.

“Just once I’d love to know what it’s like to be teased by a woman. I mean, really teased…. you know, to the point where I can’t take it for another minute?”

How adorable……….

Not wanting to frighten him off she innocently played along, showing interest in his fantasy. “Hmm, that does sound kinda sexy. I bet that would be fun to try to do with a guy sometime.”

And with that, the hook was set.

For months they bantered back and forth, sharing fantasies… well, to be fair, it was mostly him. Expertly, with each passing week she drew a little more… and a little more… out of him.

His weaknesses. His fetishes. His vulnerabilities. Those hidden secrets of what drove him mad and made him ache with need. Information poured from him as if he’d longed for years to confess these secrets to someone. Someone who cared. Someone who was interested in them.

Perfect.

Eventually, she was ready. She had everything she needed. It was time to bring this man’s fantasy to life in a way that even his wildest imagination could not have possibly prepared him for.

The invitation was made, her offer sweet and simple. 48 hours in a hotel room. Her rules. All he needed to do was accept, agree to her terms and she promised to do her absolute best to bring his fantasy to life.

When he could barely return her message and agree quickly enough she smiled, sympathetically chuckling to herself, “Oh sweetheart, you poor thing…. you really have no idea…..”

As it turns out, there was one little aspect about herself she’d not yet shared with him. One obsessive kink of her own that she thought she’d keep to herself until he’d fallen in to her trap and was at her mercy. When it was too late for him to change his mind.

And that was…. that she was an insatiable, wicked, merciless cocktease.

Not the sort that simply made a man wait a little longer than normal before she’d let him cum. Not the sort that was content with hearing him beg for his orgasm. Not even the sort who would edge a man for hours before allowing him to explode in pleasure.

No, no… she was the sort who craved the sights and sounds of a man who was suffering exquisitely from an overload of sensual pleasure….. pleasure that was coupled with an unbearable amount of sexual frustration.

She would play a man’s body beautifully… masterfully…. ravishing helpless male flesh with sensual pleasures that made his mind reel and his body quiver.

But, her kink, her obsession… was to make his pleasure inescapable… to offer no release valve from it… to make it build far beyond the limits of what the male body was designed to withstand.

To watch him crumble and break from how impossibly aroused she’d made him… from how completely desperate he was for her.

Now, not quite four hours in to their adventure she had her Tumblr admirer’s wrists bound securely to the headboard, his senses reeling from the scent and heat of her dripping folds hovering above him. Already though, his pleas were becoming more desperate, his aching need for release more agonizing.

And, already she’d brought him near the edge of cumming more times than he’d ever experienced before in his life. Slowly but surely, she was reducing him to her own helpless, aching cum factory…. his balls becoming heavier, fuller, achier by the minute… his cock being being transformed into a mass of feverish, steely hardness that was utterly desperate for release.

But as his orgasm approached yet again her soft, skilled, cruel hand clamped down firmly around the base of his shaft, her own insurance policy of sorts…. just in case… to guarantee that the chance of even an accidental orgasm was hopeless. No, she was far too methodical… far too patient… far too skilled to risk a mistake like that.

She smiled when she heard a shaky male voice plead, “Ok, ok…. now…. please now…. y-you’ve done it.. I can’t… I can’t take any more…. please, please make me cum now??…..”

“Oh honey, don’t be silly,” she murmured. “I haven’t even started teasing you yet… I’m still just getting you warmed up sweetie. We’ve not yet played for even four hours….. you’ve got forty-four more to go.”

His anguished whimper provoked a purr of pure female lust from her. Her fingertips gently cradled his balls as if weighing them.

“We’ve barely started with these baby,” she said calmly, almost sweetly. “Wait til you feel how much fuller I can get them… how much heavier I can make them…. has a girl ever made them so full for you that it feels like you can feel the ache in every…. inch… of your body?”

At the first faint sound of his next plea she laughed softly, lowering her thighs just enough to silence him with the softness of her pussy that was ready to enjoy yet another orgasm.

“Shhhh, no talking sweetie…. just licking….”

She purred throatily at the feel of his tongue going back to work, her hand resuming coaxing him gently back toward the edge, just close enough where her firm grip would guarantee his denial once more…. forcing yet even more freshly made cum to recede helplessly back down in to his balls, making them just a bit fuller.

With lust written all over her face she purred, “Just relax baby, I’ll know when you can’t take any more…. I’ll be able to tell when we’ve got your balls so full you can’t even think, let alone beg….”

A wicked grin crossed her face as she softly added, “….. and that, is when your warm-up will come to an end baby…. and that is when I can start to give your poor, helpless cock the teasing that you’ve always fantasized about…..”

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Bondage

Bondage is bonding. Bondage can be one of the most fun and erotic activities in a FLR because it has benefits for both the dominant and the submissive, and it can be incredibly creative! It can be about control and helplessness, raw vulnerability, or it can be much more fun and entertaining. It can also be incredibly intimate, and really help the D/s dynamic develop a foundation of trust and power exchange.

Many submissives, are initially shy when it comes to truly submitting to a woman. Yet the idea of bondage is often incredibly arousing especially if he is new to submitting, because it instantly brings his submission to the forefront. It helps him understand how to submit because there is no effort required on his part, beyond allowing himself to be tied up in the first place. Once that is out of the way, he is forced to submit, and forced to trust her with everything. It’s a delicious amount of power for a dominant, because if she is new to dominance, she gets to take her time with him, and understand that she is in control of what happens, when it happens and how it happens. Listening to his pleas for mercy can be the first big step into discovering her power and how her power can sexually charge her up in ways few things ever have before.

Bondage simply helps both dominants and submissive to better understand their roles, and who they are at their core. It’s one fetish that can very easily deepen the d/s dynamic, after a single session. The playful teasing that can occur can also bring about deep intimacy, and it can also serve as a great way to train the submissive in Karezza stamina. Short bondage sessions can have long lasting effects that even filter though into daily life, because of the mindset induced. It helps a submissive understand how to let go more of his ego, and serve her better just though attitude alone. Vulnerability opens him up, and as long as he feels safe being vulnerable, he begins to feel like he belongs to her, and that’s the best feeling in the world to him.

His eagerness to serve and belong to her equally empowers her need to dominant him because his attention, and desire for her, is something she has always craved, his need to understand her, helps her finally be understood, because she can do it on her terms, without any pressure. Bondage can also serve to help her overcome any sexual inhibitions she might have, because she can take her time, and instruct him on how to pleasure her, anywhere she chooses, however she chooses. This is why bondage is so intimate, it simply has a way of breaking barriers because its that powerful.

It can be fun and entertaining as well, there’s all sorts of ways to do predicament bondage, make it an intense but fun and arousing activity, even if it doesn’t lead to sex. Bondage doesn’t require sex to be white hot arousing, but it can certainly be an amazing aspect of foreplay. Or perhaps punishment.

Once a submissive feel safe being vulnerable, he’s going to feel at home in bondage. He’s going to feel more safe and secure, and cared for and loved, while bound. He craves it, because it helps him go deep into subspace, and that’s where all submissives want to dwell. In subspace, is the pure bliss of service to her. There is nothing else there. She is his only purpose, and subspace is the only place he can fulfill that purpose. It’s a state of pure love for her, and she can receive as much of it as she wants. That’s the power of bondage.

What seems like a simple fetish, that doesn’t make sense to a whole lot of people on the outside looking in, is really a beautiful way to express love. To go deep into love, and be completely raw with each other. Bondage is bonding, but eventually keeping him bound, gives them both more freedom than they have ever imagined possible. So go and buy some ropes and play, which is what D/s is all about.

Build the FLR of your dreams with my Practical FLR book series!

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The Beauty of Dominance

Want to discover the wonderful benefits of a female led relationship? Check out my Practical FLR book series here!

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