Breast Cancer Update by Gloria C Swain
You wake up in the early morning not knowing what the day will bring ... will there be pain, will you spend the day in bed, or will you be able to smile and cover the tears?
Looking in the mirror is scary because the stranger staring back is so sad and there's nothing you can do to help her.
You are hesitant to do the things you once enjoyed because the physical pain and mental anxiety is more than your mind can handle. And there's no one to call and nobody is coming to save you. Mental health ... 'remember to love yourself.'
You wonder why all the people you once knew are now strangers. You miss the ones you once called friends who have become strangers. People come. People go. People don't stay too long. They soon forget you.
Sometimes, you forget you.
The family you grew up with never treated you like you belonged. You can't run back to something you never had.
For so many years [in my case, it started in 2018 with ovarian cancer and returned in 2023 as breast cancer] Cancer is all you know and all you have left. You're unable to fight something that has taken over your body, mind, and life. It isn't a fair fight. No one should have to fight this monster alone ... the world is filled with people ... but it is what it is.
You move on.
You take one day at a time, knowing what is to come, and putting all your faith and hope in the creator who made your existence possible.
"You have breast cancer" are the words that echo in your head and send chills throughout your body. The permanent radiation tattoo dots that cover your torso screams "It's breast cancer".
Sleep is difficult because closing your eyes every night takes all your strength and courage ... just because ... tomorrow is not promised. There is no plan b. There are no do-overs.
You text good night to those you love ... turn off the lights ... whisper a prayer of gratitude for the day that is done ... close your eyes [with hopes of seeing the wind blow through the trees outside your window and hear the birds sing one more time ... to welcome another day].
Your only escape is your art because art is healing.
Instagram handle: swainartist
gofundme: Fundraiser by Gloria C Swain : Stage 4 Metastatic Breast Cancer














