HSV-2 Vent Blog

For posts I don't want to share on my main (coolprius). 5/23/17

[ted]

Ella Dawson has genital herpes, and she wants to tell you about it. 

She’s not speaking up for the shock value — she’s telling you because she wants all of us to be able to talk about STIs without shame or stigma. When we make it okay to talk about, she says, people are more likely to get tested and less likely to be afraid to share their status. 

In her badass talk at TEDxConnecticut College, Ella tells the story of her diagnosis, how she overcame feeling like “human trash,” and why we need to end the stigma — now. It’s packed with information (and a shot of humor), and if you didn’t already agree with her, you will by the time she’s done.

Watch the full talk or read the transcript here.

(Full disclosure: Ella is TED’s social media manager. This post was written by her boss who is so incredibly proud of how fearlessly she speaks out.)

[tylerct]

OK What the fuck is wrong with this bitch. Getting herpes is most definitely a reflection on a bad decision!!! There is something in this world called condoms!! Oh yeah and they are free at Planned Parenthood so you can’t even use the fucking excuse that they are expensive or your broke so you couldn’t buy any.. Seriously what the fuck I am not saying you have to make it a big deal that you have herpes and have to tell the fucking world but you need/should tell your sexual partner..

[brosandprose]

Hi! That’s me. I’m that bitch. Nothing wrong with me except for an anxiety disorder and a runny nose today.

Here’s a fun fact you should probably know: condoms do not prevent the transmission of herpes. That’s because herpes is transmitted through skin contact, not fluids, and a condom does not cover all of the areas where genital herpes can express itself. Herpes is also often transmitted through oral sex, which most people do not use protection for. Using condoms and dental dams can greatly reduce your risk of getting herpes, but telling people to just use condoms is quite useless advice. I should know—I was a Planned Parenthood volunteer who used condoms religiously when I contracted genital herpes.

Many people do not tell their partners that they have herpes because they do not know they have herpes in the first place. That’s because many people can carry the virus without showing symptoms, and herpes is not tested for in most standard STI tests. But most people have herpes—in fact, according to the World Health Organization, 2 in 3 people in the world have HSV-1, which is the strain of herpes that I have. In all likelihood, you have herpes too. You may have even contracted it from a family member who kissed you on the mouth when you were little. 

I tell all of my partners that I have genital herpes before we have sex because I think they have the right to decide what they want to do with their bodies. I consider it part of obtaining informed consent. My partner who transmitted herpes to me did not give me the option to decide whether or not I wanted to take the risk of contracting the virus, and I think that was probably because he did not know he had the virus. I harbor no ill will towards him for transmitting to me. If he’d disclosed his status to me, I would have fucked him anyway.

Considering the fact that you know that condoms are available for free at Planned Parenthood—and that your tumblr is full of porn GIFs, no judgment!—I hope that you have been tested recently for herpes as well. It requires a blood draw, so if you’ve been peeing in a cup for your STI testing, you don’t know your herpes status. If you test positive for herpes, which you probably will, statistically speaking, I’ve written this guide on what to do after you’ve been diagnosed. I hope you will find it helpful!

Thank you for watching my TEDx talk, which you absolutely made sure to do before calling me a bitch, and have a wonderful evening!

[mariposa-nena-deactivated201911]

DRAGGEDT

[capacity]

She said I’m that bitch….. I’m already gagged I haven’t even finished reading this

[homotology]

This is why I love Ella. She’s smart af, kind, but also ready to drag a bitch should she need to. Queen of telling it like it is; science edition.

[thebootydiaries]

My girl said she got an STD 🙅🏾‍♀️❌

I said FRICK that 😡💪🏾

We in this together 👫💕😳

That’s an stWE now 💋😍🙈

[glittery-gurl]

Want to talk about HSV?

I’m not too active on this blog but I can easily be reached at my main: coolprius

[ayearofthoughts]

[olmanglitter]

You're At A Party

Ever played the Whose Got I? game at a party?

Take the number of people (let’s say 40 - I tend to smaller parties being on in years) x 1/5 (8). That’s how many would likely test positive for genital HSV2.

Now, take that number & multiply by ¾ (6). That’s roughly how many of them don’t know they carry the virus (there have been several studies w/ a range of results, so I’m takin a rough avg.).

Assuming you are one of the 2 who know you have it, who is the other? Do you think he or she is feeling alone, or bearing the stigma too heavily, or afraid to flirt because it might lead to having to disclose? It could be the very person you think is really cute and interesting. It could be the well-adjusted person that is in what seems like a great relationship. It could be the really attractive person of the same sex that you are a bit jealous is getting all the interest (or of the opposite sex if you are drawn to yours).

Does this change how you engage the people around you? And what of all those people who are HSV2 positive & don’t know, and therefore are a much higher risk to their potential partners than you are?

Now remember, that’s just HSV2. Now play the game, but this time 40 x 4/5 = 32 have HSV1. They can transmit that to their partner genitally through oral sex. Not as readily, but still happens a lot. Do you think they are worrying? Do you think they are ashamed? Do you think they are avoiding trying to connect with the person they are attracted too?

You will disclose like the confident, lovable person you are, and do more to protect your partner than many. You are not the damaged freak at this party. You are just as deserving of connection and love as everyone there. You will be more understanding and empathize with others who struggle romantically for whatever reason, because you get it.

Now why are all these negative thoughts, these worries, these doubts racing through your head. Play the game. You still may get rejected - we all do, for any number of reasons. But you can get out of the cognitive distortions that are making you miserable and enjoy yourself. You can give yourself a break and support yourself. You can allow yourself to only worry about all the other 10,000 things that make relationships a challenge, and set the extra crap aside.

[hsvnebula]

👏👏👏

[dykespeare-deactivated20181228]

reblog if ur mom is smart and beautiful

[kyloreybans-deactivated20160107]

I scrolled passed then I felt guilty

[thefallfromgrace]

Views from the top

Most of my life, I considered myself to be just like everyone else. I was normal, I was healthy, I was naive. As I matured and gained different vanish points on how society truly is, I began to see stigmas in various contexts. Not only because of my skin, or my gender… but because of my disease. 

I am one of the millions who have herpes (this includes hsv1, hsv2,  varicella-zoster virus, Epstein-Barr virus, cytomegalovirus, and others). This new found discrimination isn’t easily seen but has a horrible stigma attached. Being a person with genital herpes can be seen as mark of disgrace associated with this particular circumstance. 

Cold sores are seen as insignificant by many, as it dominates modern culture. Chicken pox is just a child hood infection. Shingles are deadly and prone to older age. Mono is the kissing disease. These are widely accepted in society, but genital herpes (hsv1, hsv2) is taboo. 

Genital herpes is understood to be a punishment, or something you ‘bring upon yourself’. People with genital herpes aren’t thought of as victims; they’re thought of as sluts, monsters, lepers, or just stupid. There is a ‘Good’ Herpes (Oral) and a ‘Bad’ Herpes (Genital).

If I told you I have/had contracted gonorrhea, syphilis, chlamydia, or a yeast infection, it wouldn’t be a big deal because they’re all curable. We could have interacted with the same amount of people but because of my disease I am deemed more of a whore than others. We both could have contracted an STD but yours is curable and mine is not. You were lucky while my luck ran out. 

Genital herpes is not the worst std to contract, but the stigma around it is one of the worse in comparison to others. 

[plannedparenthood]

Dating violence can happen to anyone. It’s common in both teens and adults. Worried you might be in an unhealthy or abusive relationship? Go to loveisrespect.org for help, or reach out to someone you trust.

[my-life-with-hsv]

STOP THE STIGMA

Things that HSV is not:

Shameful

Your own fault

Exclusively Sexually Transmitted

Dirty

Disgusting

Horrifying

The mark of promiscuity

Debilitating

Life-ruining

A mark of unworthiness 

100% likely to transmit every time

Un-treatable/Un-controllable

Consistently agonizing 

Excruciatingly painful every outbreak

Rare and only effects 16% of the population

Impossible to contract with condom use

Impossible for you to ever contract.

Things that HSV is:

A common skin condition

Easily treated and managed with medication

Affects 75%-80% of Americans (either Type 1 or 2) 

Often contracted through kissing and oral sex

Less likely to have outbreaks as you age

Sometimes painless 

Sometimes no symptoms

Every time you laugh at herpes as the butt of a joke,

Every time you talk about how disgusting it is,

You’re probably hurting somebody that you care about. 

Stop the stigma.

[stoptheglitterstigma]

You’ve heard of Netflix and Chill, but have you heard of

Hulu and Herpes

[justablueumbrella]

A writer for the new york times interviewed a series of people who had survived jumping off the golden gate bridge. Every person she interviewed admitted that about two thirds of the way down, they realized that every seemingly meaningless problem that caused them to jump was fixable.

Every single one.

THIS IS EXTREMELY IMPORTANT

[opidiod]

READ THIS

[sarcasick]

REBLOG THIS AND NEVER EVER FORGET IT

[glitteringglitterbabe]

Please read:

Herpes is SO NORMAL. Like RIDICULOUSLY NORMAL. None of you are unlovable because of this little skin condition. I went to a doctor that specializes in herpes and she looked me in the eyes and said, “You have herpes, you are normal. People who test negative for both HSV1 and HSV2 are less normal than you are.” It really helped me understand that these viruses are so ubiquitous that it’s more common to have one than to not have one! Keep that in mind when you start feeling down, my loves. Having one of these viruses doesn’t make you an untouchable freak, it makes you an average human being. You’re all beautiful and don’t you dare forget that for a single second.

xoxo

[herpessupport]

To those who chose to reject someone simply because they disclosed their herpes status

You are entitled to leave if you want. But keep this in mind:

80-90% of the population has herpes. Of those, 85% of people who have herpes have no idea. Of those who are aware they have herpes only half will actually tell you.

So, when you reject someone who is honest enough to tell you they have herpes because you don’t want to take that risk, just remember you are, in fact, taking a much larger risk with all the other people out there who may not know their status or be honest. Statistically speaking you are safer with someone who knows their status and is honest with you than with anyone else. And even those who claim they get tested regularly, herpes is not included in most STD panels unless you specifically ask.

So just keep that in mind when making your decision.

[cheesygorditocrunch-deactivated]

So how did u end up catching herpes?

The simplest answer I can give is because I had sex. With whom and the kind of sex I was having is irrelevant because herpes transmission happens all the time. It’s actually one of the most common STDs and a lot of people are not aware that they have herpes because they can be asymptomatic carriers. You can transmit the virus even while experiencing no symptoms or through asymptomatic viral shedding, when the virus is present on the surface of the skin. Also, when you get an STD panel test, herpes is not something on that list. There are many reasons why they don’t test – but apparently healthcare professionals do not see herpes as a serious condition, a minor condition equivalent to the common cold. The bigger issue that exists is stigma, people’s misconceptions and how people talk about sexuality as a means to put others down for having sex.

[petitegoat-blog]

[trusterapp-deactivated20190405]

7 Common Herpes Myths

If you have herpes trust us you’re not alone. Up to 80% of Americans have herpes (HSV), that’s most of us.

Despite this overwhelming majority, finding your perfect match knowing you have HSV is a challenge because of the social stigma, not the virus. The stigma is overblown because herpes is widely misunderstood.

We’re on a mission to end the social stigma, starting with these 7 myths.  

MYTH 1: “It’s just a cold sore, I don’t have herpes”

Cold sore, fever blister, a “gift”, call it what you like but it’s herpes. Most people wrongfully think cold sores are not from the herpes virus or at least not the “bad” kind of herpes, but there isn’t a difference. The point is there is no “bad”, its all the same. Historically HSV-1 was located north (mouth) and HSV-2 was located south (below the belt), but current sexual two types have become interchangeable. So much so All you need to know is both HSV-1 and HSV-2 can be contracted anywhere on your body, so stop thinking of them as different. The only reason you have HSV is because you kissed someone or had sex with someone, that’s the only thing having HSV says about you.

MYTH 2: “Herpes will ruin my dating life.”

Testing positive for HSV shouldn’t end your love life, but a couple things will change. A common knee jerk first reaction is to stop dating and exile yourself to a solitary life. Try not to let this happen, there are billions of people in your exact situation, but insecurity gets the best of them. Currently 1 in 6 men and 1 in 4 women have HSV-2 in the US and over 775 thousand are diagnosed with herpes every year. Most (80%) people don’t show any symptoms, which includes your future partners. Even in the worst case scenario if you have symptoms and you pass HSV to a partner, there is an 80% chance they won’t show any signs at all.

The more open you are about HSV, the faster you’ll discover people around you are in the same boat. As you learn more about the virus, you’ll realize that it’s not a big deal despite the stigma.

Herpes doesn’t change who you are so don’t let it change your dating life. It sounds contrived, but it will make you more selective and more likely to weed out people that are not good matches for you. If you’ve tested positive, it is best to be open with people you’re dating after getting to know them. Having the talk is the only way to build a relationship based on trust. If you want to avoid having the talk altogether, look for a secure dating app for people with HSV.  

MYTH 4:  “Everyone with genital herpes knows they have it.”

While it’s estimated that about 1 in 5 people have genital herpes, 80%-90% are unaware. Genital HSV infections often has mild symptoms that can go unrecognized or none at all. Basically, you can be carrying the virus, never have an outbreak and still pass it to your partner.  It is estimated that 70% of HSV transmissions occur by asymptomatic people which makes it really easy to keep the ‘positivity’ going.

MYTH 3: “Herpes can cause a range of health problems.”

In reality, herpes causes very few health problems – it can be a nuisance during an outbreak, but is manageable and easily suppressed with medication.  The reason 80%-90% of people with HSV have no idea is because they have zero symptoms and most doctors don’t screen for it in an STD test panel. If you are curious about why, your healthcare provider can fill you in on why the CDC doesn’t deem HSV a major concern. In addition, when people that show HSV symptoms are having an outbreak, their bodies show signs letting them know when they are most contagious and thus make it is easier to manage and protect their partners. A partner that shows symptoms and is taking viral suppression medicine during an outbreak is 75% less likely to pass HSV to their partner.   

MYTH 5: “If you have herpes, your partner will get it too”

When not experiencing an outbreak, someone with HSV-2 has an 8%-10% chance of transmitting the infection to their partner each year if they have unprotected sex and never take antiviral medication. That’s like reaching into a bag of 100 black and white marbles once a year and pulling a white one even though there were 92 black ones, very low odds. Antiviral medication can reduce transmission chances 50%, 70% if you are symptomatic. If you practice safe sex using condoms, your chances are reduced another 50%. For those keeping score this brings the yearly chance of passing HSV while having regular sex down to 1.2% to 2.5%. It’s like pulling the single white marble in a bag of 99 black marbles.

MYTH 6:  “There is no test for herpes, doctors simply diagnose it when they see it.”

There is a blood test for HSV-1 and HSV-2, but doctors rarely screen for it, especially if they don’t see symptoms. Many people are under the impression they’ve been tested as part of a standard sexually transmitted infection (STI) test, the reality is because the Center for Disease Control doesn’t deem HSV a major health threat doctors choose which tests are important enough for a lab run, and without a clear symptom or complaint, they don’t think it’s necessary. Ask your doctor specifically to screen for HSV to know for sure.

MYTH 7:  “Herpes goes away after the first breakout.”

Yes and no. The first outbreak is the most intense because the virus is new to your immune system.  The symptoms you see in the average Google search is not the norm! You may feel a bit feverish and have body aches, similar to a cold or flu at first. This may also result in the more standard small rash or little white bumps. In subsequent outbreaks, these symptoms are significantly less intense because your body learns to suppress the virus. After the initial outbreak, the virus moves away from the skin surface and becomes inactive, hiding in the nerve tissue.  Your immune system then tries to keep it suppressed and sometimes it even goes dormant, but it never leaves your system.

Summary:

In short, you are in no way alone, the health effects are generally really minimal, the sigma exists because people don’t know, and your dating life will change only slightly if done right. If you’re newly diagnosed or HSV has kept you from dating, we encourage you to get back out there, in a safe environment where you can date freely without HSV being a factor. Our goal is to abolish the stigma through information and education, so please join us in helping everyone with HSV get back to living normal lives.

Sources:

CDC: http://www.cdc.gov/std/herpes/stdfact-herpes-detailed.htm

Project Accept: http://projectaccept.org/straight-dope-herpes-statistics/

World Health Organization: http://www.who.int/mediacentre/news/releases/2015/herpes/en/

[combatuni-blog]

education is everything 

[suffered-in-silence]

“But here’s an interesting way to look at that risk. Let’s say that Diane, who is truly uninfected (ie, HSV-2 seronegative), meets Bob who has HSV-2. Bob tells Diane about his infection. He offers to use condoms every time they have sex, take daily antiviral therapy, and agrees to try to be aware of any symptoms that may signal the beginning of an outbreak. Diane says that she just can’t handle any risk, even though she really likes Bob. So she says goodbye and moves on. Then she meets Bill. She asks him right away whether he has herpes because now she’s really worried about getting infected. He replies that he’s “not that kind of guy” and is certain that he is not infected, only he really is (as approximately 1 in 4 adults are) but doesn’t know it. Now we know that Bill is shedding virus at the same rate as Bob, but because he is unaware of his infection and doing nothing about it, he is more likely to infect Diane than Bob ever was. But Diane likes Bill’s answer. She has sex with him with birth control pills instead of condoms, and within 2 months is infected with HSV-2. She’s the one sitting in your exam room, waiting for the news. And the circle continues.”

Importance and Practicalities of Patient Counseling in the Prevention and Management of Genital Herpes - Terri Warren (via suffered-in-silence)