gloamy

mostly here to post about adhd/autism and my special interests main is @garbagealien

[you-are-another-me]

[iloveuppers-deactivated20250310]

[neo-catharsis]

Wincenty Dunikowski-Duniko, You have to.., 1974

[whereisthesun]

I HATE MORAL OCD. well i shouldnt say hate thats a strong word. and i dont want to sound like i hate people WITH moral ocd because i dont of course. i just hate having it. but i shouldnt think that, i do like having morals, its just stressful to be thinking about them so constantly and scrutinizing every little thing i do or think. but really thats the least i could do so i should at least try, right? just because i suffer from— no, struggle with moral ocd doesn’t mean i should just stop thinking about things all together, thats not what im saying and i should make that clear, but i

[kosmogrl]

[angelsonthesideline-deactivated]

[schifty-al]

"You see Perry the platypus"

[roach-works]

-you're not going to like the short answer

-you're not going to understand the short answer

-you didn't ask the right question

-there is no short answer

-there's a dozen short answers and i think that's neat

-there's a much more interesting question you could have asked, buckle up

-this is going to be really funny in five minutes, hold on

-last time i said no you got mad but the answer is still no

-last time i said no you got sad and i can't take that again

-i've been thinking about neolithic bedbugs all day and you cracked the seal

-this reminds me of something more important than whatever you just said

-i just remembered what i meant to tell you last time you asked something sort of like this

-i don't like you so we're gonna talk about my thing instead of your thing

-i love you so here's the coolest thing i learned lately

-im not hungry so i forgot to do the part of the conversation where i tell you i dont want dinner when you asked what i wanted for dinner because i don't want anything so the question is returning a null integer. did you know bed bugs might have originated in neolithic caves and switched from infesting bat fur to infesting human furs when humans started inhabiting caves and driving all the bats out, and they've lived in our beds for a hundred thousand years. did you know that cellar spiders are almost always the descendants of cave spiders, carried from quarry to foundation and left to flourish for decades, centuries. did you know that a possible origin for the american house cockroach was probably a bark-dwelling species that kept getting transferred into the walls and roofs of new houses and then found an endless wealth of crumbs in their new big square tree. can you feel some kind of love and reverence for these strange neighbors of ours that we built into our homes over and over and two whom humans are an endless and eternal blessing. isn't it nice to think that to a few precious, annoying little critters, we're home.

-yeah i think you should get bangs. life is short and you'd look cute.

[nonsensicallycereal]

-i would like this amount of explanation listening to your information so im giving you this as a favour

-i know there are social conventions that will influence how you perceive my response / what that response should be but i dont know what they are so im going to be as explicitly clear as i can be but it takes longer to explain

-i didnt understand the question or hear it properly and am sort of hoping youll take the hint because ive asked you to repeat it three times already and its embarrassing

-you dont understand the jargon that would make this explanation shorter and so will be without necessary information so now i must explain it more [this information may or may not be actually necessary]

[alexseanchai]

[image: the Distracted Boyfriend meme. he's labeled "ADHD/Autistic People"; the woman he's with is labeled "Directly answering a question"; the woman he's looking at is labeled "Giving a full backstory first".]

[caffeinecrossing]

[homunculus-argument]

Apparently people who don't have executive dysfunction think that actually working on something is the hardest part of doing something. And that's why they get mad that you call the rest of the project "easy" after you've finally worked through doing the plan and know what to do when you're working.

So when you're through with the epiphany of how to make it physically possible to make the thing you're making, and you're sharing the plan with excitement, because the hard part is over, and now you only have to get your hands moving and do it, they get mad at you like

"it's not that easy! It's a lot of hard work! >:C"

they mean it, because

to them, working is the hardest part.

They don't have to fight their brains to get started. They don't have to fight their way through making the choices, making the plan, making yourself make the thing. People who don't suffer from executive dysfunction think that the hardest part is actually doing the thing.

[jumpingjacktrash]

when you have executive dysfunction, it’s like... you’ve just clawed your way up a long steep embankment of loose gravel, and you flop exhausted into the construction site, and you’re like “oh thank fuck, time to lay some bricks, i absolutely could do this all day” and the guy who drove to the site goes “what’s wrong with you man bricklaying is hard graft!”

not as hard as crawling up the gravel mountain bro

[roach-works]

there’s also good hard and bad hard. doing the thing might be hard, but at least you’re doing it; it’s good hard. just getting to the thing in the first place is hard and it’s fucking miserable. executive dysfunction puts so many bad hard things in your way before you can get to even the good hard things.

[tygermama]

sometimes i describe it as my transmission is broken, every thing else works fine but no matter how hard I pump the gas pedal, I ain't getting anywhere because I can't

[lectern-fullcauldron]

I know we talk a lot about keep jumping on boxes, but I'm honestly so grateful for Joe hills' knife theory; a variation on spoon theory that says once you're out of spoons, you can choose to take knives instead in the knowledge that it will hurt later. and the number of times I've told myself 'ok let's take the knives' is so high that I've found it really helps to acknowledge it. Thanks, Joe

[bogwitchgirl]

I think there is a message here that a lot of people don’t get: there is a cost when you do not have the spoons for something and some force compels you to do it regardless

this is the first I’ve ever heard of “knives” in the context of disability, but I’m disabled and retired entirely because I took more knives than I can even begin to count at my old job, and was never given a chance to recover from all the stabs and slices

so i feel like “knives” could do for being more widespread, so that people better understand the choice they’re making and the toll it can take if they do things that they don’t have the spoons for

[thebibliosphere]

In the never-ending quest to alleviate my migraines, I bought a special angled pillow that lets you sleep on your side while your arm just kind of hangs through a whole in the middle. I did this because I’m a left-sided sleeper, always have been.

Until my neck subluxated and now I can’t sleep on that side without compressing some vital nerves and blood arteries. I also can’t sleep on my back right now because the pressure compresses my occipital nerve. Basically sleeping has been a nightmare recently, but that’s not the point of this post.

The point was I brought this up in physical therapy to talk about how great this pillow is because I can now sleep on my right side without the stupid thing going numb or waking me up because it hurts. And my PT was like wow, great! How did you sleep on your left side for so long without it being an issue?

And I said, oh that’s easy. I just tuck that shoulder out of the way.

And she said, ...what?

And I said, yeah, I just tuck it out the way. Not like my right shoulder. That one doesn’t move as well. It just hurts, I think there’s something wrong with it.

And my physical therapist asked me to demonstrate what I mean when I say I ‘tuck my shoulder out of the way,’ and haha, you’re never going to believe this, turns out I’ve just been casually pulling my left shoulder out of the socket for, oh, let’s see, 30 years? And then napping on it like hmmnm yess comfy.

Anyway. I looked up from my demonstration and my physical therapist was making this face:

[thebibliosphere]

The funniest part for me was that I refused to believe I was dislocating it. I was like no, see, it just moves like that, and as I reached to manually manipulate my shoulder with my other hand she reached out, put her hand over mine and in the gentlest, firmest voice said, “No.”

I felt like a toddler being gentle parented by a mother doing her absolute best to use her “gentle” voice and not yell after watching their child lick a fork and attempt to stick it in an electrical outlet.

Turns out that rheumatologist who said I had zero hypermobility and just needed to exercise more was full of shit. We already knew this. But it’s good to have it reconfirmed.

Also, did you guys know it’s not normal to be able to tip your head back and touch your shoulder blades with the back of your skull with zero resistance from your neck? Wild. Anyway. I’m sure that’s not compressing anything vital or relevant to my crippling migraines…

[thebibliosphere]

Who’d have thought this post would be a hit on the autism/adhd/hypermobile website.

Anyway. Stop over flexing your necks, I know you’re all doing it. Also I’m being sent for a neck MRI lmao.

[julianova44]

Wait is the head not supposed to reach the back or something? Genuinely curious here

[thebibliosphere]

This is not my x-ray, it’s Kaitlyn Jenkins (@/chronicallyhopefulpod on instagram)

“Normal” range can vary a lot and some people can go farther back than that without causing issues. I think up to 60 degrees is considered within “normal” range but don’t quote me on that, I’m in pain and trying to remember what my PT told me yesterday.

As we can see on the right, the person with EDS and cranial instability is going much much farther back. Kaitlyn is considered severe enough she’s had numerous surgeries and wears a neck brace and you can see how Not Good it looks.

My neck goes back about the same if I let it. Which explains some things… Basically:

Again, everyone is different and some people can have greater range of motion without it being a medical issue, but in my case it very much is.

[fairydrowning]

"People cry out of fatigue. But how horrible it is to hear someone say, ‘she’s just tired.’ Tired, yes, certainly, but just? There’s nothing just about it."

– Heather Christle, The Crying Book

[charl0ttan]

executive dysfunction is literally like. ive had a random dollar on my floor for two weeks and i dont know when ill fit it in my schedule to pick it up. people dont realize this

[ilye-elf]

Okay so this is big news: scientists have found the gene mutation that causes ADHD. And it's a gene that's also associated with hEDS. AND the same gene has a major role in heart and blood vessel functionality.

I feel like the hypermobile/POTS/ADHD trifecta has just been supremely validated ( @thebibliosphere I very much want to tag you in this.)

CDH2 mutation affecting N-cadherin function causes attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder in humans and mice - Nature Communications

Molecular mechanisms of attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) are not fully understood. Here the authors demonstrate a mutation in

[thebibliosphere]

Yes! I remember when they first announced this in 2021. It's big news for being able to pin so much more of this medical stuff down!

[comedownstairsandsayhello]

You will get farther in one week paying close, nonjudgmental attention to the unmet needs underlying your "bad" behavior than you will in a year of punishing yourself and demanding you become a different person. I'm right shut up.

[lifeafterpsychiatry]

"But why do you let your disability stop you?" Because that's.... what disabilities... do. That's... literally the basic definition... of being disabled... A disability impairs your ability to function. That's what the term means. That's the main thing

[creekfiend]

it is wild how you can be all up in disability rights/justice/etc rhetoric and have been for over a decade and still start crying when someone is niceys to you about accommodations instead of treating you like a Defective Normal Person at best and a Spoiled Evil Brat who is Being Inconvenient On Purpose at worst

wowee that ableism sure can be internalized

[morganbritton132]

Me: You know how when you were a kid and you’d wish that you’d get sick or injured in a way that would justify why you didn’t live up to your potential?

Everybody, apparently: No?