M E L 👽 DY

ridiculous amount of feelings keep it simple fairy gaymother 🌻🍁✨

[knifefightscene]

You may as well hire a fucking mannequin if you’re gonna hire scarjo of all ppl

[popokko-deactivated20210315]

lady gaga: let’s have some fun this beat is sick i wanna take a ride on ur disco stick

12 y/o me knowing full well she’s talkin abt dick: 

[sherlockbringthejam-deactivated]

“Money won’t make you happy”

Yeah, financial stability is just horrible

[kaijutegu]

My fucking roomba woke me up at 5 am to tell me she’s stuck near a cliff.

[kaijutegu]

The base of the fan counts as a cliff now, i see.

[amayabikuni]

He was very scared

[emmersdrawberry]

save him

[followthebluebell]

He’s having a nightmare help him

[corduroyserpent]

[seraphsfire]

a concept: a bus, but horizontal

[seraphsfire]

i have to do all the work around here

[cobaltdays-deactivated20210208]

I don’t know why but I was picturing this:

[maooids]

He had to fight his way to the top

[peepuddle-deactivated20230124]

i LOVE BEING IN BED !!!!!! i love being all cuddly and warm and curling up into a ball and feeling tiny !!!!! this is what life’s about !!!!!!!!!!!

[kestrel-tree]

Mansplaining protip:

When a man starts explaining a concept you already told him you understand, instead of saying “I know” over and over until you die, try one of these:

Ok, which aspect is confusing you?

It seems like you have the basics down; Would you like me to recommend some good articles so you can get a more nuanced understanding?

So did you have a specific question, or do you just want a more in depth explanation?

[kaylapocalypse-deactivated20201]

SAVAGE

teacher-zone him

[daughter-of-rowan]

My cousin is an asst psych professor. Her new boss brought up how male students sometimes challenge female professors. He asked how she handles that: she says ‘hold on: let me take notes’, grabs a pen & paper, and proceeds to take no notes. If he asks why, she says ‘Tell me something I don’t know & I’ll have something to write’; no student has tried twice. Her boss laughed and asked her to mention it at the next staff meeting.

[dynastylnoire]

Well shit

[healingisneeded]

[thewieneryears-deactivated20130]

Moss Graffiti: A How To Guide

[missythemermaid]

are you fucking for real

[revesducirque]

Imagine being the criminal who returns weekly to make sure his fucking plant art is doing alright

[arthyradio]

Later

[atombombbunny]

I found it! I fucking found it! In my fucking dash! Nothing can stop me now! *EVIL GIGGLES*

[male-witch]

OMG SAME RIGHT I SAW IT A YEAR AGO AND WAS UPSET I COULDNT FIND IT AGAIN

[v171]

One time I was playing the sims and I wanted to make me and mike but I wanted to make us separately and have us meet. But when I moved into my house, I had this sexy ass neighbor. I figured I could have a fling with him and break it off and get with Mike later but then the neighbors kid got attached to me and I couldn’t just end it when I was so close to his daughter. I really cared about him too.

So the only thing I could do was have it end in tragedy. That way I wouldn’t have to break up with the guy and I could adopt his daughter to stay close to her. He passed away peacefully on fire in the kitchen. Now in previous games, when a kid is taken away by CPS, the next kid you adopt is the same kid. Welp that didn’t carry over into sims 4 so the daughter ended up being taken away and erased from the game by the great sims deity.

I’m a sentimental man, so I kept neighbor mans tombstone around. I’d occasionally chat with his ghost, but he seemed cold to me. I can’t help but thinking he was a bit mad his daughter no longer existed. But this escalated once I started seeing Mike. His ethereal visits became more frequent and more hostile, usually breaking my electronics or creating a mess. But he went overboard when he started the fire.

Being a sim the died in a fire, his ghost had certain abilities specific to his death (setting fires). He got pissed because I kissed Mike so he set my couch on fire that ended up barricading us in the bedroom. Now I couldn’t find the fire alarm in buy mode and I hadn’t had the foresight to predict my spiteful ghost died-in-a-fire ex boyfriend would be an afterlife arsonist to care about it that much so a lot of the house had burned by the time I could get the FD there.

After having almost nothing covered by insurance (thanks Obama), Mike sat me down to have a talk with me. While I couldn’t understand him, I imagine he said “What the fuck you need to deal with your crazy ass ex boyfriend ghost. This never would have happened if you weren’t a thirst little sim bitch and dated me first.”

I approached the grave. It was time to release him. He was waiting for me. He knew this was the end. That after this, there was no coming back from the afterlife. I know he tried to kill me, and he knows I got his daughter deleted, but at that moment, it was just like old times. Telling each other jokes 27 times in a row until he would have sex with me.

We had a final ghostly embrace and he was gone. I sold his tombstone for 300 bucks and bought a microwave.

[que-mystery]

I enjoyed this more than the last season of AHS

[breefolk-hates-staff]

“He died peacefully on fire in the kitchen.”

[myslightobsessions]

J.J. Bittenbinder watching John Mulaney’s bit on his Street Smarts course

[dillondean]

I’m in THE most insane predicament, details forthcoming

[dillondean]

Literally like brace yourself…..my friend wants me to hook up with his dad because last night his dad said he might be bi and I’m this guy’s only gay friend

[dillondean]

Further evidence:

[divascreech]

oh my fucking god

[tanookitoes]

this is what a real ally looks like

[snackwizard]

a fools guide to not wanting to die anymore

by me, a fool who doesnt wanna die anymore 

never make a suicide joke again. yes this includes “i wanna die” as a figure of speech. swear off of it. actually make an effort to change how you think about things.

find something to compliment someone for at least 4 times a day. notice the little things about the world that make you happy, and use that to make other people happy.

talk to people. initiate conversation as often as you possibly can. keep your mind busy and you wont have to worry anymore

picture the bad intrusive thoughts in youe head as an edgy 13 year old and tell them to go be emo somewhere else

if someone makes you feel bad most of the time, stop talking to them. making yourself hang out with people who drain you is self harm. stop it.

[anexperimentallife]

This whole thread is cool and wholesome.

[weedyshurgusburgus]

something they have control over!!! yes!!!!!!!

[cheeseanonioncrisps]

My number one tip for straight men (I mean, it could conceivably work for other genders and sexualities, but you’d have to adjust it quite a bit) is: inagine they’re a man.

Imagine that you just randomly told some bloke in a pub that he has beautiful eyes.

That you walked up behind your coworker Jim and started caressing his neck and shoulders while talking to him about the budget.

That you just sent a large and unexplained bouquet of flowers to Darren in Accounting.

That instead of complimenting a coworker on her breasts, you complimented him on his dick.

Does the action now seem weird? Uncomfortable? Do you no longer want to do it now that it isn’t directed at somebody you are sexually attracted to?

That strongly suggests that your action has a sexual aspect to it and therefore probably counts as sexual harassment!

[bileshroom]

just to clear up some rumors

i DO have blood and I do have ALL of MY bones and I didnt take them from anyone I grew them myself so stop asking

[make--it--gayer]

jinkies