Mickey got caught, lmao @gods-boyfriend - Tumblr Blog

Some of you will see the warning on q-tips saying “don’t insert into ear canal” and take it seriously like some kind of chump. They want your ears full up so you can’t hear the world around you. My shits so polished clean I can hear the constant shriek of the earth turning on its axis.

grimeclown

I have tinnitus

weloveshortvideos

50shadesofyodaddysdick

I’m happy for her

noburritojustaco-deactivated201

i made soy milk ^_^

imdope420

I dont think that’s how it’s made

pukicho

If humans are supposed to be so ‘evolved’ how come your eyelashes fall into your eyes to periodically blind you?

pukicho

onceiwashere

tumblr is on the verge of rediscovering regular degular sexual attraction to other humans and i dont know if we can handle it, collectively

blue-star-above-me

You’ve heard of Luigi’s Mansion, now get ready for...

Waluigi’s Apartment

kingkoopasconeyislanddiscopalace

It’s not haunted or anything Waluigi just attacks all the other tenants with a vacuum cleaner

sonodaten

If Keanu Reeves woke me up in the middle of a landfill and told me we need to burn the city down I wouldn’t even question him, I would just do it. He knows better than me.

solarpunkopossum

Fleetwood Mac is the moon energy to ABBA’s sun energy.

williamblakesapprentice

Like the amount of sense that this makes and the depth of it are too powerful and cryptic. The fact that this wisdom can exist in such a stable form….it astounds me.

lesbiskammerat

me listening to music where a woman is yelling hysterically

absolutebatmanny

a NSFW blog but instead of porn it’s just pictures of unsafe work practices

fxckbro

hungwy

oh fuck we forgot about anteaters

drdaanvondutch

hungwy

i will never let you out of my minds eye again

burntcopper

…I’m not seeing anything wrong, per se.

queenoftheimps

this was great, but the part that’s killing me is Netflix’s follow-up

whitepeopletwitter

lorem64

I’m so confused why he would think cookie dough would give him salmonella??? What parent told him this. There’s no chicken in there!

ankaa-avarshina

Two words: Raw eggs.

lorem64

?? What kind of world do you live in where Raw eggs carry salmonella or are in anyway unsafe

ankaa-avarshina

Don’t ask me, ask them Americans. I’m an Asian just passing the word on

phantoms-lair

*deep breath* Though the risk is small, raw eggs can carry samonella.

MORE THREATENINGLY Raw wheat can carry E. Coli. However, if you don’t mind making your own cookie dough, you can easily make it safely.

Take your standard recipe. Omit the eggs. Eggs serve as a binding agent to hold the cookie together. Since we’re eating the dough raw, that’s not needed. Take the flour, put it in a pan and bake it at 350 for 7 minutes. Any E. Coli is now dead.

Just mix the rest of the ingredients together as the recipe is called for and BAM, perfectly safe edible cookie dough.