"I know it makes no sense, but yes!"
"Well, what if it was pointed at YOUR dick?"
"So... you, uh, ladies liking the angle of the dangle?"
"Cats, man. Not to be trusted."
"You know what? Do me a favor - NEVER say that again."
"They did stuff to me. Spooky stuff... Anal stuff."
"It turned me into a dangerous telekinetic."
"It's pretty much a suicide mission."
"If I were lying, I wouldn't have used the words "suicide mission."
"Oh my God, I'm the black MacGyver."
"Every time we mess up, it's because of a woman."
"[Name} doesn't count. I didn't sleep with [Name]."
"No, because she put a bomb in your car!"
"All right, I admit - that did take a little of the romance out of it."
"I ain't getting killed by no girl."
"Been a long time since anyone called me a girl."
"That look like small arms to you? Huh? That's a cannon."
"Pretty much everyone with the exception of PETA wants this chick am-scrayed."
"When I was little, I collected human ears."
"[Name] could set up over there by the taco stand, and [Name] could set up communications right there by the hookers."
"No, I specifically requested the only hotel room in the world that doesn't have a bathroom."
"How'd you know we were alive?"
"You had them killed four months ago."
"I've done a lot in four months, [Name]. I'm a very busy man."
"Did you happen to find out who's behind them?"
"We're not going anywhere until you two squash this bullshit."
"I say we go watch [Name] get himself killed, yeah?"
"War was my only mother."
"I firebombed my first tank when I was twelve years old and machine-gunned the crew as they fled, burning."
"So they're selling shit to the American people to raise money to protect the American people from the guys that produce the shit they're selling them in the first place."
"Gee, I hope they don't see us sitting in this bright yellow Pinto."
"That was a 'hit em in the face nod, not a throw em off the roof nod'."
"There's only one way this can end... you die very badly."
"Get down on the ground, or I'll blow your heart up with my MIND!"