The long winded blues of the never

Crimson Sun's personal/reblogs. Also home to various sketches, WIPs, and misc personal stuff, tagged Crim's modern art. Track the tag if you're here for art, rather than follow the blog. Main/art blog here

[quinnick]

It’s that time of year again so here is your yearly reminder that the world isn’t ending and people don’t hate you. The sun is just setting at 6 pm.

[mrs-delaney]

Please take your vitamin D

[bundibird]

HEY SOUTHERN HEMISPHERE GIRLIES, ITS OUR TURN TO ENDURE THE DARK DAYS NOW, BUT STAY STRONG. THE WORLD IS NOT ENDING; THE SUN IS JUST SETTING AT 5-to-6 PM. BUT SHE WILL COME BACK TO US SOON. TAKE A VITAMIN D AND HANG IN THERE.

[butchdogs-md]

you need to understand that i have two sets of headcanons. there's the set of realistic headcanons based on my genuine reading of the show, and then there's me playing pretend with my dolls.

[wildehacked]

things in fic I'm used to people kind of faking their way through writing about:

the city of los angeles

the city of new york

sex

how drinking alcohol works

how getting high works

how a child of any age speaks

how nuclear physics work

how [my job] works

how debilitating being shot in the shoulder is

how hypothermia works

things I have never before seen someone fake their way through writing about, until today:

what french toast is

[headspace-hotel]

read through the notes on this one trust me

[kiragecko]

Here's some of the notes, starting with the things multiple people brought up:

SHRIMP COCKTAIL:

banahbanah: #flashback to that one fic where Peter Parker frets about drinking shrimp cocktail because of the alcohol

generaldeliciousness: adding: what a prawn/shrimp cocktail is

#why is your character turning it down because they're under 21 #do you think prawn cocktail is a cocktail #this lives in my brain rent-free constantly #the rest of the fic was so normal #and good enough that i'll still re-read it #but bro

And then many, MANY, people wondering if this was actually authour mistake, since Peter really would do this!

POMEGRANATES:

zhajhassa: #haha where's that post that was like someone describing someone eating a pomegranate but they ate it like an apple

thornhands: #once someone wrote persephone biting into a whole Pomegranate #had to stop and stare at a wall for a minute

sungsingsanguine: I once saw someone very confidently write about a character eating slices of pomegranate.

FRUIT TREES:

zagreuses-toast: #given a very endearing glimpse into a writers blindspots by seeing them describe someone sitting under a ''pineapple tree''

salatrash: I remember something about picking watermelons... OF A FUCKING TREE

baander: #cranberry trees

DOUGH/BATTER:

maycelium: #I'm a chef so I'm really used to people not accurately describing how to cook food #But I was surprisingly flabbergasted when someone was writing making a cake and was kneading it. Which uh #Not necessary for cake. It was interesting for sure but just bizarre

livebloggingmydescentintomadness: #the one that drove me nuts was when a character set aside a batch of PASTA DOUGH 'to rise' #pasta doesn't have yeast!! #it does need to REST but it will never RISE #you do not want an airy crumb on your noodles

lovesodeepandwideandwell: #THE ONE WHERE THEY MADE COOKIES BY LADLING BATTER INTO A TRAY

Some other topics:

ANIMALS:

catenarwhal: #mandatory 'how cows produce milk' mention#i'll never recover from that one I fear

piromantic: #one time i saw someone fake their way through describing how spiders behave

pluto-lichen: horses

misskittypotter: #stardew valley faking its way through what fresh fish smell like

pa-pa-plasma: #saw someone faking their way through knowing what a seal is once #i still am fucked up over that one to this day. they just straight up did not know #& they were NOT good at guessing it either like it was clear they had never googled that animal ever #& was only just now realizing via answering questions from anons that seals are not!! what they assumed. initially

SEX:

dykevandyke: #what a prostate is #and where it is located #as in. external.

dreamyeyedrose: #I remember back in the ff.net days reading an Ichigo/Renji fic where the writer assumed the penises go inside each other #and I was like “I mean I don't know how it works for sure I don't have one but idk if that's how it works”

SOME OTHER FOOD STUFF:

thetrekkiehasthephonebox: #add another one to the list bloggers#this character is cooking a salad

shosta: #still baffled about the published work that didn't know food could freeze

sun-dari: #once i read a fic where the author didn't understand cinnamon

alto-tenure: #read something recently where the author was just. blatantly wrong about spices

dramatic-dolphin: #i saw someone try to fake their way through what ramen is once. like 14 years ago.#but i remember.#i was very confused about ramen for a few months. they were writing it so authoritatively.

the-celery-stalks-at-midnight: #i will never ever forget someone putting leftover fries in the microwave to reheat them and setting the timer for five minutes

typeghost: #this sparked a memory of a hannibal fic where the author had to fake their way through writing about gravy

draculin: #the one fanfic where the author knows about coffee only as a concept wrote a character as a coffee drinker#was very interesting#I don't remember the fandom or the plot but I was mesmerized by the coffee actions and choices

11235811235811: #there's a lot of faking their way thru congee in the svsss fandom i'll also note

fishali3n: #read one where the person clearly didnt know what tofu is

emmy-everafter: #in the aftermath of shadow and bone s2 i saw a lot of people pretending to know what stroopwafels are #babes they are more like cookies than breakfast waffles #like yes there is a waffle pattern but you're not gonna cut into a stack of them with syrup and sugar#🤣🤣🤣

NON-FOOD STUFF:

red-umbrella-811: Shoutout to Dame Agatha Christie for faking her way through what a wrench is in a very popular published work.

bluebeetle: #once saw someone have a character put an entire phone book in their pocket

nonametis: #- sex talk in languages other than english #<- or just the petnames in a different language other than English

sadisticpony: #the fanfiction i saw this week where op DIDNT KNOW HOW AUTOMATIC DOORS WORKED #and that they arent in peoples homes!!! of course. also opening the automatic door for someone is unironically very funny but its not #its not like. grabbing the door handle to let someone in. helpppp

danmeichael: #reminds me of the fic with the figure drawing class where the character started with the feet. #i love you feet first figure drawing author

meowmix1100blr: #me watching this one fic absolutely obliterate what the board of directors does

vexedhexes: #one time i read an architect character making a doorway bigger by building a bigger door #what a beautiful world. #OH. also gravity falls fic where they go 'oh piedmont is in california so its warm all year round'

leveragehunters: #characters going to a beer garden #And it's literally a garden outside the pub#It was a very cute mistake

fitofpique: #yes! #grown men do not get blind drunk off two beers #but i am possibly guilty of the hypothermia one #assuming it does not make you very horny?

dadvans-likes: #always thinking abt the soup kitchen fic #the entire setting of the fic was 'soup kitchen' #and i very quickly realized #the author did not know what a soup kitchen was #and they thought that soup kitchens only served soup #fic

msmargaretmurry: #i love fanfiction #once read a fic where the characters played 20 questions #but the author seemed to not know how to play 20 questions and was just kind of winging it........ #immaculate

shakespeareaddict: #Look I know not all of us are hockey experts #But it takes about ten seconds of research or any attention paid to the show to realize #That the Stanley cup playoffs are not in fucking September

baejax-the-great: #the funniest one i saw #was someone faking what church is like #like 1. they really didn't have to write an entire church experience for their fic #and 2. they had clearly never even watched a show where people went to church #it was bonkers weird

twosunson: #things ive seen authors faking #knowing how to unclog a drain #knowing. literally any history #knowing what ketamine looks like (apparently- oregano) #(you know who you are)

waterhorseyblues-ao3: #beltane being celebrated in winter #wales being portrayed as a completely separated land from england (i wish) #characters getting up after weeks of bedrest like that dosnt completely fuck you up

violetfairydust: #i once read a fic where the flight time from london to seattle was 3 hours

purekesseltrash: One time, in a fic set specifically in Des Moines, IA, two of the characters casually drove 20 minutes to the ocean. The memory continues to delight me. I want to know where that author thought that Iowa was.

[risingoflights]

these are great

i don't read a lot of fic anymore but i'm forever thinking about stephen king's 'it' where the characters went into a chinese restaurant and were greeted by a waitress wearing a kimono

[crimson-sun]

The FFXIV playing cards demo deck! Look at my beautiful baby! 🔥

Info about ordering, on Patreon (you can access the post without being a member)

[crimson-sun]

THE INTEREST CHECK IS OPEN!

[rydengg]

nobody is immune but some of you are… concerning susceptible… 😟

[angerydome]

This is a completely non partisan post btw.

[solo-wing-alex]

[youngerfrankenstein]

To put it very bluntly.

You will always make a better impact helping people who need it than trying to hurt people you think deserve it.

[risingoflights]

i bought a lot of classics as a teen because i wanted to seem smart. i bounced off most of them because i was not, in fact, smart. and these days i'm arguably stupider, but this year i have at least been going back to actually go through these books at last.

and what strikes me is that, content and characterisation aside, a lot of these stories and books have structures that are alien to me. i'm used to stories having certain features which classifies them as stories, and some of these classics have been amusingly deviant from my expectations.

the best way i can think of to describe them is to compare the structure of a story to that of a suburban house. bear with me here, see if the analogy sticks-

currently reading sherlock holmes stories. delightful houses. solid. they may be a bit plain but all the rooms are present and functional and easy to navigate. loving these houses.

just finished edgar allen poe stories. sooome of these are houses as i know them, with the usual rooms. some of these houses are tents. some of them are elaborately house-like on the outside but consist only of a single beautifully decorated corridor from the front door straight to the back. some of these houses appear gorgeous from the front and then you open the door to realise nobody's actually built the rest of the house

moby dick was an effort. i struggled. this is by all accounts a house you could live in but it, for some reason, also has fifty closets. there's a bed and bath sure but just, at least 80% of this house is closets. frankly especially bewildering for someone who was always told about the single stunning living room of this house.

phantom of the opera was delightful. beautiful gothic mansion on the outside, as promised, with an interior to match... but the wallpaper consists of brightly coloured polka-dots.

and, special mention to les mis, which is actually one of my favourite and most re-read books. this is a mighty house with solid foundations. but besides the usual rooms there are a dozen others that seem only precariously attached and just borderline functional. does this house really need an observatory or a crematorium room, for example?

[risingoflights]

was out with ma earlier this week, who's been saying i should go back to china with her for a stint to pay respects to my grandparents' graves. caught myself explaining that a big part of why i don't want to fly these days is because i'm developing a certain distrust over all complex computer systems, where one flaw introduced by even a single gen-ai component could have disastrous consequences

and the look she gave me made me realise that i'm probably developing some psychosis in the other direction to folks who become reliant on llms, which means i should definitely take some time off from the primary source of my anxieties for a while. but...

read an article recently about how most gen-z'ers actually hate gen-ai but also have no choice but to use it because it's been so inundated into their lives. feeling very much the same way about the internet, which at least used to be functional. nowadays i don't want to be online at all, but i can't exactly step away altogether. not that freelancing online feels like it'd be feasible for much longer anyway, though. it's hard not to be gloomy about it all

[feminist-space]

[feminist-space]

[feminist-space]

[feminist-space]

[feminist-space]

[feminist-space]

[feminist-space]

[feminist-space]

[baddywronglegs]

The people who insist AI is smarter than a human are doing their fucking damnedest to manifest that

[risingoflights]

i think a big part of the problem is that llms aren't wrong all the time. if it was wrong all the time from the get-go then people would never become reliant, but instead it does worse brain damage by eliminating users' ability to tell right from wrong

[alphacrone]

writers and artists everywhere all the time

[marvellegends]

[risingoflights]

It was International Dog Day on the 26th, and I’ve had this clunking around in my brain for a while-

A big part of Hojo’s job involves producing battle sims for training purposes, and the techs responsible for this often get attached to the monsters they meticulously program into merciless killers. The more powerful, subtle, and ‘clever’ the sim, the more work goes into its upgrades and maintenance, and certain monsters are so lovingly crafted that they get designated names, and are referred to as if they’re real living beings (which, to a limited extent, they are).

Exp 110, the Behemoth bull, is affectionately known as ‘Frederick’, or ‘Freddy’.

Freddy has a default behavioural set to attack - and attacking is what Freddy does with ruthless efficiency when faced with practically anybody who steps into its sim. Occasionally, the techs need to interact directly with Freddy within VR to properly analyse his functionality, and they do so by utilising his diagnostics set, in which he behaves like a obedient dog. Freddy is programmed (or ‘trained’, as the team likes to say) to recognise each individual team member and follow their instructions.

At some point, the team thought it might be funny to install a ‘puppy’ set, specifically on Freddy’s recognition of the Professor. This decision may have happened on a slightly drunken whim, and was no problem for a long time since it’s very very rarely the Professor himself steps into VR, especially with the monsters (the Professor interacts sometimes with the Sephiroth sim he spent most of his sim time designing… but that’s another story). Indeed, the ‘puppy’ was forgotten for a good long time as the techs returned to their everyday work.

So… imagine everybody’s surprise and alarm when, on that one day Hojo went to diagnose Freddy himself, all two tonnes of Behemoth bounded over, almost knocking the old man off his feet, before promptly rolling over, tongue lolling and spiked tail wagging dangerously, demanding to have its belly rubbed.

Hojo, narrowly escaping injury and incredibly unamused, gave the techs a stern reprimand. But interestingly… nobody was punished for the incident, and the Professor didn’t order the ‘puppy’ set deleted either. So, in true Hojo fashion, nobody quite knows what the old man really thinks of Freddy’s ‘love’, and unreliable rumours are that once or twice, he’s even been seen to play with the puppy after working hours…

[draconym]

The eye doctor is the most fun doctor you can go to. They never steal your blood. They never make you get naked and put on a paper dress. They're just like, "Can you see these letters? It's fine if you can't, we can fix that." And they don't even spell anything.

[draconym]

[orcboxer]

Every time I go they put me in a chair and they say look into this machine there's a hot air balloon or a farmhouse in there and I do and I'm like you're right I see it and they're like yeah keep admiring that hot air balloon or farmhouse and I do and I'm like this shit's quaint as fuck and then do you know what happens next they attack me they jumpscare me with air directly into my eyeballs and i fall out the chair and they say sorryyyy but they're NOT they wanted this to happen they KNEW about the jumpscare well now I'm wise to it now I know better when I go in and they say look at this bodacious hot air balloon I'm like NO WAY DUDE that balloon wishes me harm have at thee and I attack them and push them on the ground and spit on them

[beardedmrbean]

this sounds like a party to me

[grand-theft-carbohydrates]

[stydixa]

ZOOLANDER (2001) Dir. Ben Stiller

[parkayquarts]

dont trace reference images. dont even LOOK at reference images. in fact, don't ever look at anything that exists in the world, in person or in photos or in videos, even when you're not drawing, because you will still be able to use the memories of what something looks like as a reference when you're drawing it later. yes that includes yourself. destroy all the mirrors in your house. don't look down at your hands or feet. don't look. close your eyes. close them tight. forget everything. it's okay, embrace the darkness. just forget.

[risingoflights]

who remembers that one time on twitter where someone tried to call an artist out for 'tracing' an ice skating pose and when the artist said they didn't trace, they referenced, the accuser called it 'eye tracing'

[willgrahamscock]

having a tumblr blog is cool because you can scroll back for years to realize you’ve never been normal about any of your interests so why start now

[willgrahamscock]

leabe me alonne