The Golly Gee Whizard

Suburban Dad Wizard

[gollygeewhizard]

The only TikTok I know comes from the great clock which counts the seconds until my inevitable demise.

[wizard-council-bureaucrat]

And this is where they steal the dances from?

[gollygeewhizard]

The dances serve to mock my inevitable demise.

[gollygeewhizard]

The only TikTok I know comes from the great clock which counts the seconds until my inevitable demise.

[gollygeewhizard]

Scroll? Like the one that contains prophecies of my inevitable demise?

[gollygeewhizard]

The only TikTok I know comes from the great clock which counts the seconds until my inevitable demise.

[gollygeewhizard]

I tell people that turning my thermostat down opens a portal to the ice dimension, and up to the fire dimension, so they leave it how I like it.

[the-mighty-dalob]

So i can save myself a Portal casting if i just come over to you and mess with the Setting?

Noted!

[gollygeewhizard]

I will smite you into next week if I feel too warm or cold within my own tower.

[gollygeewhizard]

I tell people that turning my thermostat down opens a portal to the ice dimension, and up to the fire dimension, so they leave it how I like it.

[gollygeewhizard]

Putting on my finest silk wizard robes and pointiest hat just to sit down in my armchair and fall asleep for the rest of the afternoon.

[gollygeewhizard]

Standing with my hands on my hips with the other dads examining the burst pipe that's spewing hellfire and the souls of the damned onto the street.

[gollygeewhizard]

Fuck my stupid wizard life

[verdan-the-druid]

Oh I thought you said "wife"... nevermind forget I was here

[gollygeewhizard]

My wife is incredibly smart buddy, you must have fucked someone else's wizard wife. While you're here would you like a cup of coffee?

[gollygeewhizard]

Fuck my stupid wizard life

[gollygeewhizard]

Mixed up my shrinking potion and my coffee again. I don't want to talk about it until I am normal size again

[gollygeewhizard]

Fuck my stupid wizard life

[gollygeewhizard]

I was casually reading my spellbook like a newspaper at breakfast and now my spoon is 3% larger, the orange juice is blue, and my cereal is sentient

[gollygeewhizard]

Just burned my hand while casting Fireball but pretended it didn't even hurt because people were watching

[gollygeewhizard]

Casts Mage Hand to give you a comforting pat on the back

[gollygeewhizard]

Ran out of fatherly wisdoms so I've started consulting my Orb

[gollygeewhizard]

abraca-dad-bra

[gollygeewhizard]

just cast this because I thought it'd be funny and now I'm in lingerie. help

[gollygeewhizard]

abraca-dad-bra

[prunsel]

if you've ever pet more than a few dogs you'd Know what dog residue is

[gollygeewhizard]

once while I was petting my dog it turned into a non-newtonian fluid